Chapter 31
IAIN
A WEEK LATER—HEADING HOME
After our Paris concerts, we flew to London. And one week and three sold-out shows later, we headed back home.
And I was ready.
I was used to long days on the road, but the past two weeks felt more like two months. Like I rarely was, I was eager to get back home and get in the studio again. More than anything, I wanted to be able to spend more time with Dawson.
We made good on our promise to Regan. We were our professional selves during the day. But as soon as we returned to the hotel, he’d wait a while, then knock on my door.
And fuck, every night I spent in his arms left me wanting more. I wasn’t a romantic person by any means, but I was so far gone for this man. I looked at my face in the mirror and hardly recognized my happiness.
In the mornings, Dawson would sneak back out again like a naughty teenager before Lennie was on duty.
It wasn’t ideal, but I’d take whatever time with Dawson I could get.
And the longer I was with him, the more I knew this was it.
I was falling in love.
My band brothers were right. I’d probably been falling long before Dawson and I kissed, but hey, I’m a guitar prodigy, not a relationship expert.
I didn’t realize that bickering was our foreplay.
And I didn’t realize that, by trying to escape from Dawson, I was really only drawing us closer together.
As much as I was looking forward to going home, the closer we got to Nashville, the more anxious I became. And no, it wasn’t because Dawson and his family were moving in with me temporarily. That wasn’t happening. At least, not yet.
It was going back to that ginormous house of mine all alone. It left me feeling unsettled. It always took me a while to adapt to being back home and not living out of a suitcase, but usually, I was so busy going out at night and recording or rehearsing during the day that I didn’t think twice.
But now? I didn’t feel like hitting the clubs or bars when we got back home. Not at all. Fuck, I’d truly fallen from my rockstar ways.
All it took was one sexy bodyguard.
And now, I just wanted to sit on the couch with Dawson, watch a movie, make out, and then fuck in my bed until I was too sore to move. Or until I needed a new mattress. Whatever came first.
I wanted him to spend the night, the next day, the one after that…
Huh. I couldn’t quite believe my train of thought, but hey, there’s a first time for everything.
But it wasn’t just the thought of returning to an empty house that left me uneasy.
There was also the matter of Jaxon.
Dawson had arranged for his son to stop by our studio in a few days. It would be our first meet and greet with the rest of my band brothers, which I thought was easier on all of us. Then I was taking Dawson and Jaxon out for lunch. That would give us time to gauge Jaxon’s first impression.
My mind began to spin with all the what-ifs. My brain was working overtime, so sleep didn’t happen for me.
Our plane touched down at just after eight in the evening. Dawson was careful to keep his distance and avoid any contact with me. He was busy anyway, whisking Faise to the arrivals gate after he went through customs.
I went with Brodie and Van and our bodyguards.
Ronin and Faise shared a ride as usual. Ronin recently bought a house on the same street as Faise, a one minute walk from each other.
And yeah, we teased them about it mercilessly.
They could’ve saved a shitload of money if they’d just bought one house together.
They were with each other twenty-four seven anyway.
When I was finally seated in the back of the SUV, my phone vibrated.
Dawson: I’ll call you first thing tomorrow. I miss you already.
I miss you too. I’ll be waiting.
What are your plans for tonight?
Eat, shower, and hopefully, sleep. The jet lag is hitting hard.
I noticed you didn’t sleep much on the plane. You okay?
Overthinking. And I thought you weren’t watching me?
We were safe on the plane, so yeah, I was watching. And everywhere you are, I want to be.
My heart flipped over when Dawson said stuff like that. I didn’t dare admit I loved it, but, like everything about this man, I did.
It’s been over nine hours since you kissed me. I’m not sure I’m going to last a few days.
I’ll make it worth the wait.
I’m counting on it.
A sharp elbow to my ribs had me looking up to find Brodie giving me that know-it-all grin of his.
“What?” I asked.
“Sexting?”
“No.”
Not yet.
“Do you want Van and me to stay with you?”
“What? No. I’ll be fine. They’ve added more cameras, and Lennie will be on site. No worries.”
“Call us, day or night, and we’ll come over. I mean it, I don’t want you alone with that weirdo still at large.”
“It’s been quiet this week, so maybe whoever it is has found someone else to annoy.”
“Still—”
I held my hand up. “I’ll reach out regularly and let you know if I need company, all right?”
Brodie nodded and slapped my thigh. “If not, you can always go with plan B and move Dawson and his family in with you.”
“Will you shut it?” I hissed, hoping no one around us heard.
“You meeting up with your man?” he whispered.
“Not until the studio on Friday.”
“Two days apart.” Brodie sighed. “I don’t think I could do it with Van.”
“No kidding. The last time your husband went out of town for a weekend, you were a grumpy pain in the ass.”
Brodie shrugged, no denial.
“I hear you got a new song for us.”
I startled. “Who told you that?”
Brodie just smiled.
“He did?” I asked. “Really?”
“Your man admires your talent, not just your sexy body,” Brodie teased. “And apparently, you’ve been holding out on us.”
“No, I haven’t.” I waved him off. “Most of the time, I prefer to focus on my part. I’m a guitarist first, you know that. I’m not even sure I know what I’m doing when it comes to songwriting. It’s just something I’ve started brainstorming lately.”
“Well, Van and I are happy to review what you’ve got and go from there. I’m looking forward to it. It means our sound can continue to grow.”
“You haven’t even heard the song yet, Dee. It’s barely that. Just a few chords and some lyrics I wrote down in the middle of the night.”
“Gotta start somewhere.”
We pulled into the long, circular driveway of my house.
Like many of my fellow musicians and celebrities, I’d chosen the Forest Hills area to call home.
I bought the place mainly due to the size of the land.
I had the crumbling cottage that sat on it razed.
In its place, the contractor built a modern ranch house.
The home was all one level, in a U-shape, and sat at the highest point of the property.
The central area was the living room, dining, and kitchen.
One wing was for my living quarters, including a main bedroom and bath, and the other wing consisted of my music room and three guest bedrooms. A large pool and a massive firepit in the backyard completed the space.
All in all, it was a peaceful retreat. Rustic and minimalist, it was my little bit of zen in the country.
I reached over and gave Brodie a hug, then Van, and promised to call if I needed anything.
Lennie and Quinn did the house tour first, ensuring the place was secure.
Once we were given the all-clear, Quinn told Lennie he’d be back to change shifts at eight tomorrow morning.
I waved goodbye to my friends as the SUV headed back out to the main road.
“You got food in the house?” Lennie asked as we entered the front door.
“Bibi arranged for a delivery this morning. I should be stocked up. If there’s anything you need, let me know. I’ll show you to the—”
“No need. I know where the guest rooms are. I’ll just drop off my stuff.”
“Okay, then. Thanks.”
Lennie wandered off to the east wing while I headed west.
I wandered down the hall to my bedroom and dumped my suitcases on the floor.
Too tired to unpack, I decided that a shower was in order, then food.
I texted Bibi and asked if she could call me tomorrow. I had resisted, in my independent way, the label’s offer of a full-time personal assistant, but maybe it was past due. Our schedules were busier than ever, and anything that could save me time was worth it.
As I made my way past the bathroom, the click of my boots on the reclaimed hardwood echoed loudly.
When I stopped at the foot of my bed and looked at it, I immediately pictured Dawson lying there.
I shook my head, still in shock that thoughts like that belonged to me.
But it was almost painful to be alone again. Strange how I’d gotten used to Dawson and his presence in my life.
It also gave me an insight I never expected.
I always knew that my dad loved my mom. Why else would he have been so destroyed by her passing? And hell, watching him fall apart was my reason for avoiding relationships in the first place. Who wants to go through that kind of pain?
As my mind began churning, I wondered if he ever regretted falling for her. Did he regret me, too?
Questions I hadn’t dared to think about for over two decades were rising to the surface again.
I called my dad once a month to check in and see that he was okay. It usually consisted of a two-minute phone call and uncomfortable pauses between “How are you?” and “Fine.”
Without thinking of the how or why, I pulled out my phone and sent a follow-up message to Bibi.
After I pressed send, I stepped back into the here and now.
Stripping down, I headed to my bathroom and enjoyed a long shower, too exhausted to jerk off. I wrapped myself up in a big, white terry cloth robe, grabbed my phone, and padded barefoot to the kitchen for a snack.
My body clock was all over the place, but if I didn’t eat, I wouldn’t sleep.
Lennie was already behind the center island, cooking.
“Smells good, whatcha making?” I asked.
“Pasta puttanesca. Quick and delicious. You want?”
“Spicy carbs? Fuck, yes. Thank you.”
Lennie nodded and plated up two dishes of steaming hot pasta.
“Wine?” he asked.
“Nah, it’ll mess with my sleep. Just water, thanks.”
“Who the fuck are you right now?” Lennie chuckled as he pulled a bottle of sparkling water from the fridge and poured two glasses.
“I honestly have no idea. Ever since Brodie got with Van, everything’s shifted. First him, now me. What’s next?”
I swirled a forkful of pasta and shoved it in my mouth. It was so damn delicious.
“Speaking of you, I mean, you and Dawson… what’s up with that?”
I chewed and swallowed my mouthful of food and took a sip of water. “I’m as surprised as you are.”
Lennie shook his head. “I’m not totally shocked after watching you guys for months. But I am concerned. I know it’s not my place, but I consider him a friend. And I don’t want to see him get hurt.”
I heard the warning in Lennie’s voice and saw it in his blue eyes. But it didn’t change anything.
“I can’t guarantee that. All I can say is that I’ve never felt like this about anyone.”
Lennie looked down, stabbing his pasta with his fork. “I don’t know if that’s a good enough answer.”
I should’ve been annoyed. Who was he to judge my new relationship with Dawson?
But I knew Lennie was only saying what any friend would. I’d do the same if the situation were reversed.
And frankly, he wasn’t wrong.
On paper, I was a risky bet for any man.
But for Dawson Everly?
I wasn’t sure I could beat those odds.