21. Chapter 19
Chapter 19
Evie
I relax back into the buttery black leather bucket seat of Brix’s 67’ Shelby Mustang GT500 Fastback, licking the maple frosting from my fingers. It’s a beautiful car that I didn’t pay enough attention to the first time I rode in it.
I know the make, model, and the name of his car, Shelby, the only other woman in Brixon’s life, as he put it. He said I would have to get over Shelby being his mistress. He really loves this car.
I get excited again watching Brix eat a maple long-john with one hand while gripping the almost wood look steering wheel with the other.
“I never do anything spontaneous. Well not in the last ten years anyway. I have been meticulous with my time and plan everything out. Thank you, I need this.” I smile at Brix, thanking him for the third time in the forty-five minutes we have been in the car.
“Evie, I didn’t do anything but get you to say yes. You deserve a break after killing yourself with school and work. Add in your extracurriculars, and you should have had a massive melt down at least a year ago.” Brix smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Everything okay? You seem kind of anxious.” I finally ask when I can see him let out a shaky breath.
“Actually, I have a lot to tell you. Not all of it is necessarily good, but I think you deserve to know the truth, which I just found out. I need you to listen without freaking out. Can you do that for me baby?” His eyes drift from the road to mine and back a few times.
“You can tell me anything. I want to know whatever has you so riled up. Why would I get mad?” I take a sip of my coffee, waiting for a reply, keeping my cool.
“I want to be honest and share what I’ve learned over the past few days,” he says, his expression serious. It softens when I nod, encouraging him to continue. “First, your parents are both still alive, but their time is limited. Please open the glove box and take out the envelope. Inside are pictures of your mother, Viviann Devereaux. You may resemble your dad more, but I can see the similarities with her too.”
“Birth mother,” I correct, feeling a sting at his choice of words. “I know I look like my mother; she was my auntie after all. Viviann was beautiful, but are there any recent photos?” My heart sinks at the thought of him calling her my mother. I had an incredible mother already—I don’t want or need another one.
“No, after she faked her own death, she went into hiding and had so much plastic surgery that she looks like a blow-up doll now. They never found any pictures of her at the place she was living,” he replies, keeping his eyes fixed on the road, avoiding my gaze.
“You saw them?” I ask, sensing I’m right.
“That’s where we were last night. You will be happy to know that Liam made sure that Boudreaux knew who he was being punished for. I also may have backhanded your egg donor, because mother, is definitely not the right word for her. Noah kind of electrocuted her too, but you know, she’s pretty much the devil. Just so you know, I normally would never hit a woman,” he adds, his voice steady. Honestly, I had a feeling that’s what they were up to in the middle of the night.
“Thank you for telling me, but why exactly would I be mad that you saw them and made her suffer a little?” I ask, a little confused.
I don’t understand why he is so nervous. He is gripping the steering wheel for dear life now, turning his knuckles white.
“There’s more. Just listen, okay, and keep an open mind.”
“Spit it out Brix! We promised no more secrets. It can’t be that bad.” I shake my head, getting more and more confused, the longer he doesn’t look at me.
“Your egg donor had other children. You actually have three brothers that we know of, so far. One is dead, one is about to die, and the other, believe it or not, appears to be a good guy. His name is Christian Devereaux, he was raised by his father after the age of four when the egg donor faked her own death. I’m sorry I haven’t told you about him until now, but I had to make sure that he is someone I would feel safe letting you go around.” He takes in a deep breath and lets it out, looking from me back to the road again several times.
I try to let what he said sink in. I have siblings. I guess I never thought about it. I mean, she gave me up so, wait, are they older or younger than me? Not that it matters, but I’m curious.”
“All of them are older than you. You also have a niece that lives with your brother. Her name is Magnolia June, but she goes by M.J. On the bright side, she is marrying a guy who has made it his mission in life to make Boudreaux and Vivian suffer for how they raised M.J. I haven’t met her, but I’m sure she would want to know her aunt.” His voice softens, letting me know that whatever these people did to that poor girl was pretty bad.
My mind is reeling with all the new information and I’m not sure what to say. Do I want to know these people. More importantly, can I trust these people.
“Is that everything?” I try to keep my voice calm, feeling like if there is more my brain might explode.
“Actually, there is one more thing. Please keep in mind that I chose to do this before I remembered you.” Brix’s voice is lower, and the way he keeps sweating, he looks like he could throw up any second.
“Jesus Christ! Brix, I’m not going to get mad at you. Have I yet? Fuck, relax before you give yourself a fucking stroke. I mean how bad can it be compared to what you have already told me?”
“Liam and I promised to give our sperm to a couple of our friends from college. There would be absolutely no sex involved. We already jizzed in our specimen cups, put it on ice, and as of this morning, the frozen package is on its way to Tallahassee for Nadia and Tasha to both go get inseminated. They are lesbians, and as you know in our organization, we have to procreate, not only to keep our titles, but to keep our lives. We just wanted to help them have the family they wanted. It also would have kept us from having to take a covenant. You know as well as I do that most Saints do not get to wait until they are almost thirty to marry. We were just doing what we thought was best. I hope you understand.” He finally looks at me and I can see how much this is weighing on him.
“I love you Brixon Blaze. The fact that even though you had selfish reasons, you also have the best of intentions to make sure those women never have to marry a Saint. They will never have to live a lie. I’m excited to meet them. How can a baby ever be something that I would ever be mad at?” I tell him knowing that a baby is the one thing that would give him something to live for.
I watch Brix visibly relax in his seat as he grabs my hand, bringing it to his lips, placing a soft kiss to my palm.
I take a deep breath, remembering that he isn’t the only one keeping a secret.
Will the ancestors punish me if I tell him? Technically, he already knows what the curse says about one of us dying.
I can’t keep this from him when he is trying to be open and completely honest when he didn’t have to be.
“So, since we are being open and honest about everything, I have something I have to tell you. I’m sorry that I have kept it from you for this long, but I was just trying to protect both of us. You know how it is with the whole personal gain thing.” I pause to take a breath.
“Evie, spit it out, it can’t be that bad, right?” Brix repeats the words I just spoke to get him to open up, giving my hand a squeeze for reassurance.
I wait for a vision or some sign that I should keep quiet, but nothing comes. Here goes nothing. I try to hide my watery eyes, but the words just won’t come.
Brix pulls the car over when he notices the tears streaming down my face. The pain in my heart resurfaces, as if a trigger has just been pulled on a gun that could take my life.
“I saw my death in the shop the first time you touched me. I haven’t been able to unsee it since,” I confess, struggling to catch my breath as sobs wrack my body.
“Who, baby? Who hurts you?” he asks, his voice filled with heartbreaking concern. “I would never let that happen; you know that. How do we fix this? I’m not losing you again!” The color drains from Brixon’s face as he locks eyes with me, his worry palpable.
“That’s what I felt that day, your death? No! No! This can’t be happening!” His voice echoes in the car as he cups my face, wiping a tear from my cheek.
“Yeah, but you don’t understand. I’ve already started trying to put the pieces together. It’s not me they are shooting at Brix, it’s you. I block the bullet from hitting you. Someone wants you dead, not me.” I try to explain as gently as I can, but how do you tell someone you ultimately die taking a bullet for them.
Brixon’s features visibly change from what I thought might be fear, to outright disbelief. He sits there for a minute just looking at me like I’m the most precious thing he has ever seen.
“Brix, I’m gonna need you to say something, anything, to let me know you are still with me.”
He finally blinks, giving me a soft smile before kissing me softly, then putting his forehead to mine, “Neither of us are going anywhere. We have a long life to live together; everything will be okay, I promise.” His words are soft, sincere, and I believe him when he says we will have a life together.
“I know. I mean, I don’t know-know, but I know we are both going to do whatever we have to for us to even have a chance to live that life. I just hope it’s enough.” I explain, knowing I can’t be positive, but I still have to have hope.
We sit there for a moment, just being in the moment together. Our hearts, steadily beating as one. We have always been in sync like that. In this moment we have it all, everything we have both ever wanted, each other. It’s all we ever needed.
Brix breaks the silence first, “This can’t be all we get. I don’t want to live in a world where you don’t exist, I can’t do that again. We have the rest of our lives together, however long that may be, it will be us against the world. Till we are ghosts.”
I understand exactly what he is saying. We both know that if one of us dies the other will want to come along for the ride. I wouldn’t want to live in a world without him either. I just hope that when the time comes, he chooses life.
“And even then, I will chase you into the afterlife, and love you until the heavens crumble.” I repeat my vows as he did, from our fake wedding, out in the bayou the night we gave ourselves to each other.
How could I forget one of the most special moments of my life?
“I love you so much.” He moves a wild curl out of my face, brushing the back of his fingers down my cheek to my chin, capturing it between his thumb and index finger. He kisses me so softly, I would barely call it a kiss at all, and retreats back into his seat.
Brix puts the car in gear and pulls back onto I10 with ease.
“I love you to.” I smile, feeling like a kid in love again. God, I have missed this feeling more than anything in the world. That feeling of being in love and invincible. Even if it only lasts a little while, I can say I knew what it was to love and to be loved.
I know that no time that I am given with this man will ever be enough, but I’m going to savor every second I’m given.
I finally dry my tears and get my book out of my big bag of everything, settling back in my seat knowing that we are going to make it through this together no matter what comes our way.