Chapter 29 Sienna
Chapter 29
Sienna
By the time the power comes back on, Sienna has already worked herself into a frenzy imagining worst-case scenarios and what-ifs. What if night falls and leaves them in complete darkness? What if their phones die? What if the lanterns Renée promised would last through the night fail?
She’s getting ready for dinner, her movements hindered by the dread that has climbed inside her arms and legs, when the room lights up and music pipes through the overhead speakers.
“Thank God,” she whispers.
Adam doesn’t notice her relief. He’s only interested in plugging in his cell phone.
This fear that has plagued her the last however many months has steadily worsened. Almost as bad is the anticipatory anxiety. She can’t pinpoint when exactly it started, but she remembers one night lying beside Adam after sex—good sex—when he rolled over, snoring within seconds. She felt a wave of indescribable fear, like something awful was about to happen, and her heart rate skyrocketed. The darkness took hold of her throat, smothering every breath, and she threw the covers off, running away from a feeling she couldn’t define.
When she reached their bathroom and switched on the lights, a switch inside her flipped too. The light enveloped her. She could breathe again. Relief coursed through, and she brushed the fear off as an isolated incident. But then it happened again the next night. And the night after that. Until Adam went out of town, and she lay in their bed with the lights on, waiting for the fear to creep in, and it didn’t. For the first time in a long while, with a light on, she slept.
That’s when she googled fear of the dark in adults . This was a thing. This was real. Her first call was to Lucy, but after several attempts, Lucy didn’t answer. Then she felt foolish. And then when it kept happening, she felt unbearable shame. For the most part, she could control the situation; she knew which scenarios to avoid. But the weeks leading to this trip have been difficult. Now here they are, her secret out in the open, and she needs her best friend.
She and Adam are the last to enter the kitchen and take the two empty seats. Jean-Paul’s seasoning the pork and slicing avocado. Renée’s reminiscing about past guests, the wife who sleepwalked into Renée and Jean-Paul’s bed, a literal food fight among a group of lawyers when one criticized another for being vegan. And then there was the time when Mr. McDaniels admitted that he’d been talking to his dead wife. “She’s sitting right there!” he had said, pointing at the vacant seat beside him. Her favorite story is about two guests in their seventies who thought they were strangers before they spent a week at the inn and realized they’d dated in high school. “They’re back together again.”
“Night three always sparks a change in the room,” Renée says. Simone agrees, pouring water into glasses.
Tonight is night three, and as Sienna glances around the table, all she notices is how the rainy slog has dampened spirits. The table is mostly quiet. Simone’s describing their day in Boone and how she and Rosalie had success shopping at Lucky Penny. Cassidy’s somewhere between miffed and pleased. “I can never get her to shop with me.”
Jean-Paul’s going into detail about the feta cheese and lime for the tostado and how he marinated the pork overnight. Sienna’s exhausted. Expending energy on the fear—fighting it, worrying about it, imagining those worst-case scenarios—sucked the life out of her. She stares at the yellow ranunculus in the center of the table, hearing every other word. Simone takes pictures of the food, the flowers.
Lucy leans over. “You okay?”
She is. For right now. But she knows that can quickly change.
“We’ll talk later,” Sienna says, and the relief puts her on the brink of tears.
Adam steps out of the room to take a call, and when he returns, Simone’s lens is trained on Penny. Adam drops an arm over her shoulder and smiles. Penny pulls away, and Leo explodes: “Get your hand off my wife.”
“Dude. Relax. It’s a picture. And besides, she’s too old for me anyway. No offense.”
“Adam,” Sienna says, embarrassed.
But Leo’s mad. “I said, get your hand off my wife.”
Adam laughs, and Leo’s quick out of his chair, the stool crashing to the floor, and just as fast, Henry and Jean-Paul are between them, arms out, holding them back.
Sienna can tell Penny isn’t happy, but about which part she’s not sure. Penny swallows her wine in one gulp as Leo returns to his seat. Sienna guzzles hers too.
Renée approaches her niece and whispers something in her ear. Simone slinks away, setting her camera aside for now.
“What’s wrong with everyone?” Rosalie asks.
Her mother pats her shoulder.
“We’ve been cooped up all day,” Lucy says. “It happens.”
“I was waiting for a repeat of last year,” Cassidy jokes. “Sounded fun.”
Rosalie rolls her eyes at her mother, and Sienna studies the girl. “You have beautiful eyes,” she says.
“I thought the same thing,” Penny joins in.
Rosalie blushes a deep pink.
“And I love that color lipstick on you,” Sienna adds.
Tonight, Rosalie wears a magenta shade instead of the black she had on last night. “Thanks,” she says, her eyes darting toward her mother. “I picked it up in town today.”
“Next time the rain keeps us inside, we should do a glam squad,” Lucy says. “We can give each other makeovers.”
“That’d be fun!” Penny says.
Sienna slinks into her seat. She’s hoping the bad weather is behind them.
“Maybe you’ll have better luck than I’ve had,” Cassidy scoffs.
“Are they expecting rain again tomorrow?” Sienna asks.
“It’s supposed to be a gorgeous day,” Renée says. “We have a hike planned for you on Beech Mountain. The views are spectacular, and the trail is a great workout.”
“Excellent. Time to work off some of this food,” Cassidy says, patting her concave stomach.
“I guess I’ll stay back and finish my book,” Lucy says, glancing at Henry.
Normally, Henry would insist on staying behind, but he’s mute, and this strikes Sienna as odd.
“What’s got you so quiet?” she asks him as he spoons a shrimp in his mouth. “Is there something going on up there that we need to know about?” She points to the ceiling, which prompts Renée to ask him about tonight’s planetary show.
At the mention of the word planet , Henry’s face lights up.
“I know you mentioned you’re a planetary astronomer at the Fernbank Center, but what exactly do you do there?” Penny asks.
He explains how he runs the science programs. “My team coordinates the content—shows and speakers—and the curriculum for field trips and workshops. Next month we have a showcase on the possibility of life outside planet Earth and an exhibit on dark matter and dark energy.”
“You said we’re all made of stars.”
“There’s a lot of theories about that.” He uses his hands when he speaks. “It’s believed that the atoms in our bodies came from stars. You’ve heard of the big bang theory, yes?”
Penny nods. “Sure, but it’s been a minute since science class.”
He describes how billions of years ago, the universe began as dense, hot matter called a singularity. “With a big bang, the world ignited.”
Penny looks fascinated.
“Gravity, stars, planets, and entire galaxies were formed. That matter made you.”
“That’s pretty cool,” Rosalie says.
Sienna wants to pay attention. She’s trying, but she can’t get the canvas of black sky out of her brain. Even talking about the darkness has her jittery.
She notices Renée in the corner placing tiny candles on a cake. Simone has already set flutes in front of each guest, and Jean-Paul pours champagne. Renée carries the carrot cake to the table. It’s drenched in cream cheese icing, pretzels, pecans, and pralines. She begins by thanking them for celebrating Henry’s birthday and their friendship at the inn. She says, “It’s been a real joy watching your two families grow and to see you so happy together.” She raises a glass. “To many more.”
They clink glasses, and Sienna sinks into the blissful moment. There’s laughter, and Renée lights the candles. The flames remind Sienna of endurance. The couples gather and make their silent wishes.
“Dude,” Leo says, staring straight at Adam. “Sorry about that little dustup.”
Adam holds his champagne up to Leo. “It’s fine, man. You love her. I get it.”
“You’ve got a good one. Don’t jeopardize it.”
“Yeah.” Sienna elbows him. “Don’t.”
Adam turns and kisses her full on the mouth, and she curls into him, letting his touch chase away her fears.
After Henry blows out the candles, the conversation about his profession continues. “Do astronomers make money?” Cassidy brazenly asks. Renée carries the tray with the cake toward the counter so she can slice it. She whispers to Simone about the salted caramel bourbon sauce.
Rosalie says, “You did not just ask that question.”
Henry’s face shows no sign of being appalled. “It’s a fair question. And you’re not the first to ask.”
Adam’s staring at his phone. “Not everyone can be as rich as those pricks at Bluebird, stealing millions from innocent, trusting people.” He shoves the phone in Sienna’s face. “Did you see one of them’s been released?”
The clatter is loud, and their heads turn collectively toward the noise. Renée’s standing, arms by her side, the tray of cake on the floor. Like the remnants of a toddler’s birthday party, frosting mixes with pretzels and pecans.
“Oh dear,” she says. “That was very clumsy of me.”