Chapter 49 Penny
Chapter 49
Penny
She can’t help herself. She’s nosy. What woman isn’t?
The four of them at the table, hashing it out: it’s better than any reality TV. And she’s not entirely heartless and cruel. She’s curious. She knows what it’s like to lose a best friend, and she wonders how these four friends will master infidelity.
She was almost at the landing to the kitchen, a quick detour to grab water for her hike with Leo, when she heard their raised voices. No fewer than three fuck s per sentence. At least they weren’t in public, with eyes on their every move. They wouldn’t be trolled and trashed in cheap magazines, fodder for strangers to ridicule. But betraying a best friend, the person you trust most in the world, that’s a colossal mistake.
She admires Lucy’s candor—and strength—as she confesses her loneliness, her inherent need for Henry’s attention. She lets it sink in. They’ve all experienced their own forms of betrayal. Cheating isn’t just being unfaithful. The room falls silent, and Penny takes the steps one by one, and just as she crosses the threshold, Lucy says, “There’s something you need to know,” and Adam says, “Come on, Lucy. That’s enough.” And she thinks that she should turn around, but she tells herself she’ll be fast.
Having shared the last however many days together means she’s justified in stepping through their web. Vis Ta Vie has bonded them, provided sustenance and stability. She’s had her own stint in betrayal hell, and she’s no stranger to it.
They watch her make her way toward the refrigerator.
Penny’s actually surprised at Lucy’s transgression—with Adam, of all people. From day one, she knew Adam had the makings of a lying cheat. She caught him leering at Cassidy on the hike; he didn’t even try to hide it. The quintessential braggart. He and Sienna are that couple that reeks of perfection and gushy affection, but Penny knows how those relationships play out. That shiny facade disguises secrets and problems—because there’s no such thing as a perfect marriage.
People like Sienna and Adam value the look of their relationship more than the relationship itself, priding themselves on a curated social media feed highlighting their best parts. Lucy is the therapist. She had to know what lurked beneath the surface. And while Sienna is nothing but friendly and funny, she has a poor defense. She chose Adam as a partner. One didn’t need a degree to figure it out: if you have to constantly brag about your money and success, you’re compensating for something.
She should take her Smartwater and gracefully exit, but she decides against it. She stands at the table, the couples on either side. She tucks away her judgments, opinions, and most of her distaste for Adam as she interferes: “I’m going to offer some advice. Don’t blame. It’s a waste of time. You somehow got here ... and everything you’re feeling is real and fucking raw. It’s understandable. You’ve got kids, people who rely on you, model you, and love you, so don’t make this just about you. Think about them.” She pauses to unscrew the cap on the bottle for a sip. “Give yourself time. And if there’s one thing you should focus on, it’s not whether you love this person, because the answer is yes. It’s always yes. It’s a reflex. The real question is, can I live without this person? Legitimately gone. Think about it. Loving someone’s easy. Living without them—that’s what you need to figure out. And if you can’t live without them, then do everything in your power to fix this.”
She twists the cap back on the bottle and slips out of the room. And it’s only then she realizes she’s been holding her breath. Because she loves Leo. That has never been a question. And as for living without him, she isn’t sure she can do that anymore.