48 MADDY #2
“Look… you’ve always been precious to me,” he continues. “From the first time I came over to Noah’s house and you tried to pretend you didn’t eat all his cookies, even though you literally had crumbs on your cheeks.”
Bailey lets out a tiny snort beside me, but I barely hear it. Everything inside me is too loud.
“Even when your head was somewhere else. Even when you made a complete mess of everything. I acted annoyed because I liked seeing you get all worked up.”
My vision blurs.
“And then these past few weeks…” His voice steadies, growing more certain with every word. “I started seeing this whole other side of you. The way you get all nervous and blushing whenever I tell you you’re beautiful.”
Goosebumps rise along my arms, but I barely feel it.
“The way you’d ramble when you were tired,” he continues. “Or how you tug the sleeves of your sweater over your hands when you're cold. Or how you sit in your car when your room feels too small.”
My fingers tighten slightly around my phone.
He pauses. “I never even wanted any of this before,” he says. “Not dating. Not a relationship. Not going on dates. I hated the word boyfriend.”
There’s a small, almost breathless shake in his voice.
“But you changed that.”
I don’t even hear my own heartbeat anymore.
“And every moment we spent together just made one thing clearer.” His voice drops, quiet but sure. “I don’t want to be your fake boyfriend. I don’t just want to be your friend.”
My breath trembles, catching somewhere in my chest.
“I want to be with you.”
The world tilts slightly. I’m not even sure I’m still standing.
“Because I love everything about you, Maddy. I love how messy you are. How you’re a terrible cook but somehow make the best coffee in the world.
I love the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you care about.
” His voice softens, almost like he’s smiling.
“And don’t even get me started on your laugh, the cartoon one that makes your dimples show up.
This man is gonna kill me if he keeps going.
“I love how your hair curls after you’ve been in the ocean,” he continues more quietly. “I love how you care for others, how you can make a problem fade away by just being near.”
He exhales, and his voice roughens just slightly.
“And I really fucking love kissing you.”
Bailey snorts softly beside me, her eyes widening. I shoot her a look, and I feel my cheeks burning, but I can’t focus on anything except him.
“I love all of it,” he says.
My chest feels too tight and I think I might actually pass out, right here, right now.
“So I just, I have to say it.” There’s a small pause. “Maddy, I lo—”
The line goes dead.
Bailey and I just stare at the phone. For a full second, neither of us breathes.
“Did he just hang up?” Bailey whispers.
“I—I don’t know,” I say, but my voice already sounds wrong.
Bailey’s eyes snap to mine. “Call him back.”
My fingers dial and press on his name, but the call rings out, once, twice, before it cuts straight to voicemail. My stomach drops.
Bailey looks at the screen. “Maybe the signal—”
“Shit.” The word slips out too fast. “No, no, no, maybe something happened.”
Panic shoots right through me.
Bailey looks at me, eyes wide. “Maddy—”
“Come on!” I’m already running before she can finish. Sand kicks up under my bare feet as I take off toward the street.
Bailey swears and runs after me. “Wait—Mads!”
The world blurs around me. What if he got in an accident? What if he’s hurt? Shit, shit, shit—
My chest tightens painfully.
“Slow down!” Bailey calls behind me, breathless. “He’s probably fine!”
But what if he’s not? What if something happened? What if I never get to tell him? My dad was right. My Mom was right. God, why am I such an idiot? I should have told him that I—
We reach the edge of the street and I run straight into someone solid. “Oof—”
Hands catch my shoulders before I can fall.
I look up—and it’s Ryan. Alive. Standing. Fucking breathing. “Ryan—oh my God—”
The air rushes back into my lungs all at once, relief hitting so hard it nearly knocks me over. And before I can think, I throw my arms around him, practically jumping into him. “I thought—are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened? Why did you hang up?!”
The words spill out in a rush, tangled and breathless.
His arms come around me automatically, steadying me into place. “I’m okay,” he says quickly. “I’m okay. My phone just died.”
I freeze. Then I pull back, slipping out of his hold as I take a step away. “…Your phone… died?”
“Yeah.” He gives a small, apologetic half-smile. “Worst timing in human history, I know.”
I shove his chest. Hard. Which makes him stumble back a step.
“You scared the shit out of me!” I gasp, my eyes burning. “I thought something happened to you!”
“I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “I tried to call back, but well…dead phone.”
Bailey finally catches up, bent over and out of breath.
“I swear,” she pants, pointing at him, “if you emotionally traumatize us before noon again, I’m confiscating your driver’s license.”
Ryan lets out a shaky laugh. “I’m sorry.”
I’m still standing there, chest rising too fast, my heart racing. For a second, we just stand there, both of us still breathing too hard. And before I can stop myself, I let out another shaky breath and step forward, wrapping my arms around him again.
“I was so scared,” I blurt into his shoulder, the words tumbling over each other.
“I thought something happened and I kept thinking—what if you hit a car or something and what if I never got to see you again and what if I could never tell you that I love you and what if I never got to annoy you again or tease you or—”
Ryan goes completely still. Slowly, he pulls back just enough to see my face, his eyes widening slightly as they lock onto mine. The realization crashes in all at once, my lungs suddenly forgetting how to work.
What did I just say?
His hands hover near my arms. “Did you just—”
“No.”
“You did—”
“I didn’t.”
“Maddy—”
“I didn’t,” I insist quickly, crossing my arms and avoiding his eyes at all costs. “I didn’t say anything.”
Bailey gasps like she just witnessed a live TV proposal. “OH. MY. GOD.” She slaps a hand over her mouth. “She said she loves you!”
“Bailey,” I hiss, my face burning.
Ryan doesn’t even glance at her. He’s still looking straight at me. “Do you actually mean it?”
My heart is pounding everywhere at once, echoing through my chest, my throat, my ears, probably my goddamn kneecaps.
“Oh my God,” I whisper, half in shock, half in embarrassment. “I think I do.”
His shoulders drop first, like something heavy just slipped off them. Relief settles across his face, and then a smile spreads as he steps closer. Both of his hands come up to my face, and before I can even think, he pulls me in and kisses me.
The kiss is brief, but it still manages to steal the air from my lungs and replace it with something lighter.
When he pulls back, his hands stay on my face, his thumbs resting just beneath my cheekbones, our foreheads still pressed together. And he’s smiling. So wide I’m honestly a little worried his face might cramp. And I feel my own smile before I even realize it’s there.
“OH. MY. GOD.” Bailey’s voice explodes across the beach. “You guys are so adorable.”
Ryan and I both pull back slightly, still close, and turn toward her at the same time. And then behind us I suddenly hear cheering. Actual cheering.