Chapter 21
CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE
JULIUS
I also didn’t ask any questions.
I was in, and I was out.
It was that simple.
I didn’t party with them, I didn’t let them taste the merchandise, and I didn’t even leave open tabs they could pay me back on. I wasn’t their friend. I was their dealer, and I never forgot that. Making them well aware that I wasn’t someone they could chill with or feel like they could disrespect.
It was truly that simple.
Everyone in the wide-open space was dancing their asses off. Eyes closed with their heads leaning back, facing the ceiling, they let the melody take over as happiness coursed through their veins.
I was jealous, and I hated to admit that, too. I’d love nothing more than to experience that carefree feeling at least one time in my youth. Don’t get me wrong, I loved music. It had the power to make everything go away.
All the bad.
All the memories.
All the questions.
It silenced all the noise.
But even then, when I was playing in front of a crowd, I still didn’t feel what they did. I wasn’t playing the violin from memory or talent, I played from somewhere deeper…
Every phrase.
Every bow stroke.
Every vibrato.
Through the years, I chased perfection, and peace became the only note I couldn’t play.
The recurring thought about legally adopting Kraven crept to the forefront of my mind.
It’d be for less than a year, but at least we could rest easy for a minute and not have to constantly worry about CPS being on our asses.
I was trying to save money in case I needed a lawyer. Another reason I was working so much.
What happens after Kraven turns eighteen? Am I still responsible for him? What if he wants to go to college? Do I help pay for that, too? Do I get to go to college?
Kraven and I never talked about any of this. I think we were both stunned we’d made it this long. The worst part was that I had no one to talk to about this, and though I wanted to open up to Isla, I didn’t want to burden her either.
Although she was someone else not far from my mind. I’d been taking care of her for six months now, and I had no plans on changing that anytime soon. I was in limbo with both of them—so unsure about the future and so worried about the present.
Does it ever get easier?
Love never came easy, and I learned that at far too young an age from our parents. Love could be as toxic as drugs. It lured you in until you were addicted and then owned every last part of you until nothing was left. Love destroyed my parents.
In the end, love didn’t conquer all and ultimately ruined our family.
Isla and I had gotten close, or as close as one could get without her actually speaking to me. I couldn’t help but wonder what she and Kraven were up to, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious about them spending time alone together.
I can trust my brother, right?
Considering that, most of the time, he made the worst possible choices.
I felt like Isla was finally beginning to show me a side of her she’d never shown anyone, and I looked forward to coming home to learn whatever I could about her. She was a damn good cook and kept the house spotless. There wasn’t a corner she hadn’t cleaned.
She was intuitive.
Empathetic.
Sad.
I’d catch her out on the back porch sometimes with her earphones in, staring up at the sky, listening to the music that soothed her mind. I recognized it all too clearly. Only adding to the realness between us. We were both lost souls, and maybe that was where our deep connection resonated from.
At some point, I’d have to discuss what happened next with each of them.
Hopefully, it’d be sooner rather than later.
One thing was for sure: I had to hear her voice.
I needed to communicate with her, but mostly, I just needed to hear my name from her mouth.
It was a conversation I’d have to start with both of them, and I had no idea where to begin.
Shaking off the unsteadiness, I continued to walk down a long, narrow hallway that was nearly pitch black until I approached the double doors of Marco’s office.
They were open, revealing a massive area with a black leather couch to the right and floor-to-ceiling bookcases lining the walls.
There was a wet bar near the mahogany desk where he was sitting.
There were no windows.
No light.
No visible exits except the one I came in through, with several cameras aimed right at me.
I nodded to them. “Always a pleasure.”
He leaned back in his chair, his golden-blond hair like a halo crowning his head while long fingertips gripped a glass of whiskey.
“Sit,” he greeted.
His grin was a bit too menacing.
His demeanor was a little too relaxed.
I braced myself for what would come, fully aware it’d lead me down a road to nowhere, yet I willingly took a seat.
His intense, ominous brown stare narrowed in, focused solely on me, while two other men stood on each side of him.
“To what do I owe the honor of your presence?” I sarcastically remarked, getting the ball rolling.
He smiled. “I wanted to see you.”
“Well, here I am.” I smiled back.
He sipped on his drink for a second before catching me off guard. “I wanted to talk to you about a permanent position with me.”
“Permanent?” I repeated, leaning back in my seat.
“Yeah,” he said. With a determined expression, he talked it up. “You’re a good kid, and I want to help you.”
“Help me?”
“You know, your old man and me go way back.”
“Is that before or after he fucked you over?”
He chuckled. “You know your father well.”
“I know enough.”
“Oh.” A look of realization spread across his face. “I see. So his debts still come knocking on your door?”
“Not recently.” Unable to resist, I asked, “Have you seen him around?”
“Why? Are you looking for him?”
“Not right now.”
He simply nodded, understanding what I was putting down. “Your old man is an interesting character, no doubt. You’re nothing like him. You’re not like your mother either. You sure you’re not adopted?”
I scoffed. “If only that were the case, it’d make things a lot easier on me.”
“Touché.” He sipped more of his drink. “What if I told you your mom was clean? Huh? Would that matter to you?”
I jerked back, once again caught off guard. “You mean you’ve seen her? She’s back?”
“I’ve heard things.”
I leaned forward, setting my elbows on my knees. “Like what?”
“Ah,” he baited. “I have your attention now? I’d like to make you an offer you can’t refuse.”
“Famous last words.”
He snickered. “I knew I liked you for good reason. You’re quiet, you do as you’re told, and sell twice as much as the college kids I pay for dealing in half the amount of time to do it.”
“You think I can add that to my résumé?” I joked.
“How about you work for me full-time instead, and then you don’t need a résumé.”
“Listen.” I tensed up, about to stand. “I appreciate your offer, truly, I do, but I’m good with the arrangement we have. I don’t need—”
“I’ll double your cut.”
“Double?” I sat back down. “And what does that involve from me?”
“It means you work for me every weekend and sometimes a few hours during the week. Usually nights.”
“I can’t.”
“You can,” he persisted. “Especially since you won’t have to work your other shit end jobs. I can’t imagine you like earning pennies when you can be making hundreds, if not thousands of dollars working for me.”
“Yeah, but…”
“It’s no different from what you’re doing for me now. It’s just more hours and more money. How can you pass that up?”
“And what if I get caught?” I argued. “I mean, it’s one thing to do this once in a while, but doing it all the time? I can’t ris—”
“Being thrown out on your ass? Is that what you can’t risk? Those bills are going to keep adding up. They come every month. You want to end up with the state again?”
“I know, but—”
“That night at the gas station, what did you tell me? Huh? You told me you’d do anything to stay out of foster care and keep you and your brother together, and what did I do?”
“You gave me a job.”
He smiled. “You see? If you trusted me then, you can trust me now. I have your best interests at heart, kid. You remind me a lot of myself when I was your age. It's men like us against the world. We gotta stick together, you know?”
“What’s the catch?”
“The only catch is that we make a shit ton of money.”
“I don’t—”
My stomach dropped when he interjected with…
“What about the girl?”