Chapter 31
CHAPTER
THIRTY-ONE
KRAVEN
It was almost midnight when the house music DJ stepped onto the stage. The second the beat dropped, the booze, weed, and pills hit my system. In the back of my mind, I knew this was probably not the best way to get reacquainted with her, but I was never one to back down from a good time.
Besides, getting into trouble without Julius knowing wasn’t new to me. She looked amazing with her skintight dress and her fuck-me heels.
I tried to keep my distance, but there was no way I could with the way I was feeling…
The way she makes me feel.
When our eyes locked from across the room, I had just walked back into the VIP area after smoking a blunt with someone I knew. I was never much for the upscale scene. To me, they all seemed pretentious. It didn’t surprise me that Julius was pulling out all the stops to impress Isla.
This wasn’t for me. It was just an excuse for him to show off to her.
The urge to inhale a deep, steady breath as my whole body tingled, feeling like my nerve endings were on fire.
She walked out of the hallway where the bathroom was located, only to be instantly swallowed by the crowd.
The song switched over to “Satisfaction” by Benny Benassi.
Suddenly, I stepped closer to Isla, close enough to see that her eyes were dilated.
Bright.
Glossy.
Fucking beautiful.
She’s drunk.
It hit me like a hole to the head, all the substances I induced to forget.
I could touch it.
Taste it.
Feel it.
It was everywhere.
She smiled at me, and I swear it lit up the entire room.
It was her.
Me.
Us.
The bright lights and lasers were messing with my vision, making my eyes jitter and causing me to feel way more fucked up than I thought I was. My head spun to the DJ's music as the lights pulsed around us.
We stood there on the dance floor in a corner, away from prying eyes. I knew it’d make her more comfortable to be out of direct sight. We started dancing, bonding to the music's melody.
Every beat.
Every drop.
We were right there with it.
Music had always been our biggest connection. It didn’t matter what genre it was. We both respected its power. It made everything go away, and in the same breath, it made everything hit that much harder.
More intense.
More catastrophic.
Its seductive beat lured me to her. This song was made for sex.
Rough.
Dirty.
Desperate.
Sweaty sex.
I stared at her with the same swagger and confidence I always exuded. Another thing I liked about her was how she looked at me. Since the first time I laid eyes on her, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from hers. She had this magnetic pull that instantly drew me in.
It was deeper.
Real.
More meaningful.
A connection I couldn’t explain, growing stronger with each second that passed between us. I knew she felt it. I couldn’t get over her skintight dress, which accentuated all the curves of her body.
I closed my eyes and just felt all around me, the song pounding into my bloodstream.
I didn’t notice that my hands were all over. I could feel the goose bumps and sensations coursing through her skin.
It was exhilarating.
Blissful.
Exciting.
A sense of calm washed over me as I was there with her. I had no idea how much control she’d still hold over me. Mainly, it was when I was fucked up.
If anything, it felt right.
She felt right.
“You feel good in my arms, Kitty. How do you make a black dress look this good?”
She set her hand on my chest. “I think you’ve given this a little too much thought.”
“I don’t think I’ve given it enough.”
I didn’t expect to feel the surge of emotions again so quickly, but I should have known better. If our relationship thus far had been any indication, it would be filled with unexpected feelings in one way or another.
I felt as if these past few months proved how much I’d be willing to lose for her.
I kept it to myself, leaving distance between us.
I was trying to be the better brother, but between her little gestures I’d catch when she didn’t know I was looking or how her wardrobe went from Wednesday Addams to Morticia, I was losing my restraint.
Maybe it was my brothers’ effect on her, or maybe, just maybe, it was mine.
In the past year, she’d done a complete one-eighty.
I guess you could say she blossomed in front of our eyes or some shit.
Even her body flourished, leading me to think she hadn’t been eating before.
She was curvy in all the right places now, and I found it hard to ignore.
It wasn’t like my brother had officially claimed her.
They weren’t exclusive. If anything, they were possibly dating.
I didn’t know what the hell he was waiting for.
We were nothing alike. If she were mine, everyone would know it, and I wouldn’t be beating around the bush like he was.
I mean, how many nights could she sleep in his bed, and his ass was still sleeping on the couch.
My brother was either a pussy or a saint.
He’d like to say the latter, while the former was a much more accurate description for me.
Plus, I hated having to keep her at arm’s length. She was literally driving me to get fucked up, which was never my MO. My state of mind at that moment, being there with her, in this compromising position where it was just her and me, seemed to be our biggest problem.
We were made of moments like these, but nothing past them.
Blaming it on the drugs and alcohol was the only excuse I had. Though I couldn’t ignore that I was the first guy she talked to after years of choosing silence.
It plagued me.
Kept me up at night.
Those nights, I’d play for her…
Fully aware she was there, hand on the wall, listening intently as if it were a deep, dark secret we shared.
It was personal.
Intimate.
Ours.
Julius didn’t play music for her like I did—at least I never heard him—which was interesting, considering every time we played with her in front of a crowd, it was obvious Julius played for no one but her.
The way I fought the longing to explore whatever was happening between us was becoming a daily occurrence. Hence, why I wasn’t home or around her unless she was tutoring me. I thought it’d made things easier. I was dead wrong. The ache for her only became stronger.
More demanding.
A tide that kept dragging me.
Is it to the shore or the depths of the ocean? Why do they feel the same way about me?
This was completely uncharted territory for me.
I couldn’t help but think about my future.
Our future.
Wondering if this kind of future was even in the cards for me.
For us.
I didn’t have too much time to dwell on it before I impulsively admitted, “I’ve missed you.”
Lust was a very funny thing.
The desire.
The attraction.
It was all these chemicals that released the same endorphins, similar to the ones we were experiencing with each other right now.
And still…
It all felt real.
We felt so real.
Drugs and alcohol always made you lose your inhibitions. They just went hand in hand. Unable to resist the temptation that was this girl, I held her face between my hands.
I was thinking all sorts of things.
Good.
Bad.
Naughty.
Feeling all sorts of emotions I had no business entertaining.
“What are you doing here, Kitty?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you here? What are you running from?”
“Currently.” She hesitated, whispering, “It should be you.”
I had to know, so I demanded, “Tell me the truth. What happened that led you into that train station that night?”
“Kraven…”
“Does Julius know?”
She shook her head.
“You haven’t told him?”
She shook her head again.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m scared.”
“Of what?”
“Of how he’ll look at me after he knows the truth.”
I allowed her confession to register while holding her gaze.
“And what truth is that?” I questioned once it did.
Silence.
“Isla,” I stressed, down to my last bit of patience when I didn’t have any to begin with. “I need you to trust me.”
Before I could consider the consequences, the future, the fire I’d spark and blow up with one match, I pulled her lips to mine, and she sucked in a breath when I softly pecked her mouth for a second.
“Kraven, what are you doing?” she murmured against my lips.
I swallowed hard.
What am I doing, and why can’t I stop it?
I knew she was thinking the same thing I was. That was how in tune we were. I couldn’t get enough of her, and all we were doing was touching each other’s lips.
We weren’t kissing.
Just caressing.
Exploring.
Searching for something in each other that had always been and would always be there, whether we wanted it to or not.
No matter what.
“You taste like trouble,” I rasped, brushing my lips over hers.
“What are we doing?” she coaxed, placing her hand against my chest.
Not pushing me away.
Not pulling me closer either.
“I thought we were just two old friends catching up.”
“I don’t think old friends do what we’re doing.”
Following the movement of her tongue, I asked, “And what is that exactly?”
“Playing with fire.”
“This isn’t playing with fire,” I warned. “This is.”
With that, I backed her into the wall and wrapped her legs around my waist. Next, I caged her in with my arms on the sides of her head. Having her like this was sensory overload for me.
I breathed her in, and once I couldn’t take it anymore, I growled, gripping her throat to hold her in place.
Away from me.
I stayed quiet until it felt like I was sitting in a jail cell, bled dry.
I let her go. I had to.
Fully aware…
I was royally fucked.