Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Isla
“In silence, we often find the deepest connection.” -Unknown.
One month later.
After rushing down the stairs, I threw a bagel in the toaster, spread some cream cheese on it, and ran out the front door.
Grabbing my bag and throwing it over my shoulder, I took the porch steps two at a time and jumped on Julius’s bicycle I’d cleaned up a couple of weeks ago.
I left it leaning against the column of the house.
It didn’t take long until I was pedaling up to the river, ditching my bike near an old willow tree, and walking over to them. Julius and Kraven were working the festival and performing on the street that day. I tried to catch any show they put on when they were close enough for me to ride the bike.
Sometimes I rode on the back of Julius’s street bike, but it was hard with his instrument, so it didn’t happen as often as I hoped.
That winter changed it all.
In a short amount of time, I learned a lot about Julius and Kraven in different ways. With Julius, I spent more time with him than I’d ever spent with anyone. If he was at the house, we were together for the most part.
When I was with them, watching them perform, I’d get lost in their music, wondering how they learned to play and who taught them. They were both equally masterful. Their skills and talent were noticed by everyone who walked by them.
I’d even seen a few people cry, getting caught up in the moment.
Maybe reliving a past they were trying to forget, like me.
There were nights when Julius was working, and Kraven would play in his room.
I’d lie on the floor against our connecting wall, wanting to feel the vibration of his piano along my body.
For a few minutes, I’d feel as if he were only playing for me, as if he were doing it on purpose, aware of how much their music meant to me.
I knew it was the furthest thing from the truth.
He barely looked at me, and when he did, it was an expression of uncertainty.
Ever since I helped him, our dynamic had changed.
He wasn’t mean to me anymore, but he wasn’t exactly nice.
I guess you could say I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sometimes I’d sit on the porch, staring up at the moon and stars. This was my favorite spot in their house. It had the best view of the sky. I spent a lot of time out there, seeking refuge within the chaos of my mind.
Sometimes I’d even find random things on the steps, from rocks to those green military figures you’d see kids play with, to other random toys.
They’d be there one evening, and then the next, there would be none.
I began to think that maybe a kid was playing back there when we weren’t around.
I wanted to ask Julius about it, but they were always gone the next day.
I figured the kid came back for them, so no harm, no foul.
I quickly learned Julius didn’t give a damn about what anyone thought or said about him. He would tell it straight to your face, not caring if he hurt your feelings. The brothers had that in common. Neither held back.
Julius never judged me, treating me like an equal. He didn’t ask any questions or demand any answers. He was far more level-headed and smart as all hell, too.
Both were stubborn.
Kraven, on the other hand, didn’t think things through, obviously.
His stunt last month playing Evel Knievel wasn’t anything I ever imagined I’d see.
I couldn’t help myself. I followed him out to the woods without him noticing me.
I was good at trailing people. It truly was a gift and got me out of a lot of trouble when I needed it.
After I heard him rev up the engine as he left the house, my feet moved on their own accord. Yes, part of it was curiosity, and another huge part was that I just had a weird feeling. Perhaps I recognized something inside him that mirrored my own.
Whatever it was, I was there for him at the right time. I don’t think he would have made it back on his own. Now I’d seen some reckless shit in my life, but Kraven’s was on another level, like he had a date with death or something.
Where I chose flight, he was a fighter.
He was definitely battling demons, and I had a feeling the cookbook triggered it.
I kept the recipes hidden in my backpack.
I hadn’t made anything else from it, but I did print a few recipes at the library with the food we had for the week.
I never thought I’d enjoy cooking as much as I did.
I loved being able to offer a craft I had no clue I had.
Kraven never ate with us, but it didn’t stop me from making enough food for him, too, and the leftovers were always gone in the morning.
Either Julius took it to work with him or Kraven claimed it for school lunch. Yet another question I couldn’t ask.
Watching Kraven fly through the air like he was Superman was a sight to see. Thankfully, the washcloth and water bottle I always had in my backpack came in handy as I slowly woke him up from the fall.
He wasn’t unconscious for very long, and it didn’t look as if he’d broken anything since he landed in an overgrown patch of grass. It was still a harsh impact, and his ribs were the biggest injury. I actually didn’t mind helping him. He looked like he needed a friend too.
I could tell he was popular. He’d bring some people around, mostly girls.
He also had that whole bad boy thing going for him, his tattoos sealing the deal.
I noticed he already had a few, and I wouldn’t be shocked if he had a fake ID or if he was getting inked in someone’s house, much to Julius’s disapproval.
Kraven didn’t give a shit. He did what he wanted without considering the consequences or the people he hurt in the process, particularly his brother.
I wasn’t sure if Julius knew I helped Kraven that night.
I didn’t tell him. He was furious enough with how reckless he’d been.
Dr. Matthews came over to fix him up. They were lucky to have him as a neighbor.
He lectured Kraven the entire time, saying he fractured his ribs and how it could have been much worse.
I was surprised Kraven didn’t cop an attitude with him, making me think he could respect authority despite getting in trouble with it at school. The animosity between the brothers grew increasingly intense as the days passed, especially after this incident.
Julius was convinced that Kraven was doing it on purpose to get a rise out of him, and the odds were that he was right.
Nonetheless, there was something deeper, darker, a truth hidden in plain sight with both of them, one they wouldn’t give power to.
Maybe it was those secrets that drew me to them, making it easy to find them in a crowd. They each stood out in their own way.
When Julius’s eyes bore into mine, finding me from a distance, it made me catch my breath.
He walked over to me with that same swagger and confidence he exuded every time we were together.
It was another thing I liked about him. He was consistent and never put on a phony act to impress anyone around him.
I knew in my heart he wasn’t showing me anything other than who he was, and I tried not to let him get to me.
But in reality, he was.
I loved having a friend, although I didn’t know the meaning of the word, having never experienced it before him.
I quickly understood it was a personal feeling that was indescribable.
Over the past two months since we met, it still felt as if I’d known him forever.
Every day that went by was another gift of having him in my life.
Once his tall, muscular stature towered over my much smaller frame, he gazed down at me with the same sincere expression he always wore. There was something about him, since day one, that I couldn’t tear my gaze away from. A magnetic pull that I was instantly drawn to.
It came from something deeper.
More meaningful.
A connection I couldn’t explain occurred every time we were together, and it only seemed to grow stronger each time we saw one another.
The familiarity in his strong regard made me weak in the knees and heavy in the heart.
I hoped he didn’t notice. But I was aware he was the type of guy who would notice everything.
Especially when it came to me.
Neither one of us said a word, but time had proved we didn’t have to. Our eyes spoke volumes, exactly the way they always had, causing the nervous feeling in my core to subside as if it had never been there to begin with.
“Hey, Mouse,” he greeted. Licking his lips, he eyed me up and down with another familiar affection that stirred my emotions.
He started calling me that one afternoon, and I smiled with a glimmer in my stare.
“I got something for you.” I watched as he reached into the pocket of his jeans, showing me a cell phone, and handed it to me. “This is for you.”
I shook my head, immediately pushing the phone back to him.
This present was too much. He was already letting me stay at his house for free.
I couldn’t accept this, too, along with all the stuff he’d bought me.
It wasn’t right. He’d give me money every week, saying it was for anything I needed, and I hated receiving it.
When I didn’t, I’d just find it in my bag or in the pockets of my clothes. Even with that money, I had no way to pay for this cell phone. I was hoping to get a job, but without an ID, it was challenging. I was too scared to try to get one, afraid CPS or the cops would find me.
I thanked my lucky stars every day they still hadn’t, and I was beginning to think that maybe they weren’t even looking.
What were the odds of that… I caught whispers about kids just running away from the system, never to be seen or heard from again.
I knew it was possible, but I didn’t know their circumstances.
Are they hiding from unintentional murders, too?
I tried not to think about that. There was no way I could outrun my nightmares. I began dreaming about the Bates, mostly about the husband. I’d wake up in a cold sweat, feeling his hands around my throat.
It was an accident. I’d repeat it in my head until I found sleep again, only to be slapped in the face with the reality that I…
May have killed someone, and I had to live with that every day.