Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Julius
The drive from the Bronx hotel to the club was quick. People went there to party, and it was the only reason I was there. I was already in a shit mood when I hopped off my bike and made my way up to the entrance.
I lived under the same roof with two of the closest people to me, and I had to keep secrets to protect them. Playing this double life was taking a toll on me. I was losing my mind, and they had no clue.
As I approached the entry, the air crackled with cosmic energy, and the bouncer eyed me up and down. From my boots to my collared shirt to my leather jacket, his stare stayed intently focused on me.
I cocked my head to the side, informing, “I was invited. I’m Julius Knightly.”
“By who?”
“Your boss.”
Talking into his earpiece, he announced, “I got a Julius Knightly here.” Seconds later, he narrowed his gaze at me, nodding for me to go in.
The massive club was packed, making it difficult for me to enter without waiting for the crowds to disperse. The farther I stepped into the building, the worse it became.
The music pounded through the speakers around me, vibrating deep in my bones as I tried to move quickly.
I’d been there before. The owner’s office was located in the back, and this was the only way to reach him.
This club was just one of his hot spots where he could push his own drugs without having to worry about the repercussions.
I tried not to pay attention to all the bodies grinding up against me, dragging me into the mass of people dancing to the house music that was blaring above the crowds.
I hated this scene. For the past two years, I’d sold drugs off and on at clubs, and I couldn’t separate partying from working.
The first time I sold drugs for Marco, I was only fifteen years old.
I met him through Joe. He used to come by the house when I was a kid.
Sometimes he’d stay and party with my parents for days on end.
Other times, he was there to collect money.
They’d run up their tab until he tracked them down.
Unfortunately, he was only one of several numbers on their speed dial.
It was how I figured out he was one of their dealers.
After you had a few threatening people pound on your front door a couple of times, shoving demands in your parents’ faces, you’d want to know who you were dealing with, too. It was safer that way.
I’d take Kraven into my bedroom, lock the door, and throw headphones on him. One of the most traumatic memories returned in a rush, triggering a shiver down my spine.
“You worthless piece of shi—”
“Kraven, guess what?” I distracted him from what was happening in our living room.
“What?” He smiled.
His front tooth was missing. He’d lost it that morning. I made a mental note to leave the cookie I stashed from the lunchroom in my backpack under his pillow from the tooth fairy tonight.
My parents were about to haul ass, leaving us to fend for ourselves. They’d have to go into hiding for a few days. If they owed this guy money, they had others who’d come barreling through our lives soon. CPS wasn’t far behind.
Our parents were in active addiction right now. We didn’t stand a chance against that. We never did.
“The tooth fairy is coming tonight,” I lied to Kraven, making him roll his eyes at me.
“She’s not real.”
“She is.”
“No, she’s not. I’m not dumb.”
“Kraven,” I said with a stern tone. “I’ve seen her.”
He eyed me skeptically as Dad shouted, “Get the fuck out of my house!”
A man yelled, “You pay me what you owe me, or I’m going to break your fucking legs!”
I hadn’t seen this guy before. Ignoring the rambling and thrashing through the thin walls, I spent the next minute trying to distract Kraven as best as I could, but it didn’t matter this time.
Someone must have called the cops.
One second, I’m silently praying this wouldn’t escalate, and the next, I ordered, “Kraven, run!”
My bedroom door kicked open, and all hell broke loose.
The cop announced, “They’re in here! We got two of them!”
“Kraven! Go! Run!” I charged the officer, wanting him to get a head start.
We couldn’t be split up again. We just got our family back together.
What a joke…
Kraven didn’t move an inch, his feet glued to the floor beneath him. Watching the scene unfold in front of his fearful eyes, we witnessed yet another one of our worst nightmares happen all over again.
“Julius!” Kraven screamed bloody murder as the officer held me back.
My body turned inside out, waiting for the man who’d appear next.
I tried to fight off the cop, but it was no use. Once I caught sight of the black SUV through my window, I knew it was over.
I hated that car.
Except it wasn’t just one this time.
It was two.
Which only meant one thing.
We’d immediately be split up.
“NO!” I yelled with everything inside me. “You can’t do this again! Please!”
I instantly thrashed my body back and forth and all around. Faster and faster. I felt like I was about to snap in half.
“It’s okay. We’re here to help you,” the officer restraining me reasoned.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
My chest is caving in on me. The expression on Kraven’s face was one I’d never forget.
My eyes slowly moved toward the door, seeing not one but two large men enter my bedroom, along with two caseworkers I’d never seen following close behind.
I recognized their demeanor. They were all the same.
Kraven and I locked eyes, and he knew exactly what was happening.
“NO!” he shouted, skidding to his knees to throw his arms around my waist.
“Grab him!” the woman ordered, and the men went right to work.
Kraven kicked.
He fought.
He fell apart.
“Don’t take me away from my brother! Please don’t take me away from him again! I’ll be a good boy! I promise I’ll be the best boy! I won’t get in trouble anymore!”
Tears filled my eyes as I watched him get taken away.
“Julius, please! You promised! You promised me this wouldn’t happen again! I can’t go back there! I hate that place! I hate those people! The bed sucks, and the food does too!”
He was referring to the group home, which was where they’d take us first. We weren’t babies. We were older. It’d be harder to place us and definitely not together.
I had no control over my emotions and was hitting, punching, and pushing the officer. My body throbbed, my heart pounded, and my head started getting dizzy the more I put up a fight.
“Son, calm down!” the other woman said over the ringing in my ears.
I fought with every ounce of strength I had, still holding on to the hope that this would one day be over. We wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore. It was all I had left to hold on to.
Kraven and I both shoved, slapped, and hit the men holding us prisoner, wanting to hurt them as much as they were hurting us. Not paying any mind to the pain running through my body. It was nothing compared to the knife they were stabbing into my heart.
He lifted Kraven into the air, tossing him over his shoulder.
“It’s going to be okay, buddy!” I reassured, my voice breaking. “We’ll be back together soon! I promise you! Just listen to them! Don’t get in trouble!”
Kraven had a problem with authority, but who could blame him…
I watched my little brother lose his mind, trying to grab hold of the door. Seeing his fingers slip inch by inch as they made their way out to the SUV broke my heart into a million pieces. I was supposed to protect him.
The scene played out in slow motion as I screamed for Kraven.
The cop let me take out my anger, holding on to me the entire time.
“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” I repeated until my throat felt raw and all the fight in me was long gone.
“Don’t touch my boy!” Mom seethed out the window of the cop car.
It was only then that I realized we were leaving.
“Julius! Kraven! Momma’s coming! My boys! My babies! Joe, this is all your fault! I told you! I fucking told you!”
“Ma’am, you need to calm down!”
“Fuck you!” Dad spewed.
I shook off the memory, still seeing my parents in the back of separate police cars, acting belligerent. I didn’t know if he was expressing that to my mother or the cop, and I still didn’t.
It was always empty promises.
Convenient lies.
Bullshit excuses.
The only upside from that day was that our parents didn’t use us as collateral with their dealers. They’d basically hold us ransom. They crossed every line. There were no boundaries when it came to their shitty-ass parenting or lack thereof.
I just happened to run into Marco randomly one night at a gas station after Kraven and I’d been split up by CPS yet again.
We couldn’t find Joe to bribe him to play parental guardian, and on top of that, we were flat broke.
I needed money, and I needed it fast. I swear, Marco could smell it on me, the desperation I wore like a cloak.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was getting paid hundreds for only working one evening.
Selling drugs came far too easily for me, and I hated admitting that.
Maybe it was from being around it all of my life, but I could spot a customer from a mile away.
After proving myself, Marco began sending me to college campuses and festivals.
When I turned seventeen, he added his clubs.
I’d always been told I looked older, and I used that to my advantage.
At almost six-foot-three, I didn’t have to try very hard to pass.
No one ever questioned my age. If anything, I think it motivated them to buy from me. I was less intimidating than someone who appeared to be in their thirties or forties. Of course, in the back of my mind, I was still terrified about undercover cops.
I tried staying referral-based. It helped take off the pressure of getting arrested and being charged with class D felonies for selling cocaine and ecstasy. Neither of which I sampled, and the irony was not lost on me.
However, I’d be tried in the Special Youth part of the criminal court, not as an adult, though with my birthday around the corner, there’d be a chance I’d be tried as one. I was painfully aware of the consequences, and ending up in prison was the first one on the list.
I also never made hand-to-hand exchanges. I always left it in a nearby bathroom stall. I got the cash and told them where to find their stash. No one fought me on it. From the moment I started dealing for Marco, I knew I was in control. Another skill I acquired from my fucked-up childhood.
My parents failed to realize that, and my brother and I paid the repercussions for it.
So becoming sharp and silent were both mandatory for our survival.