Chapter 39
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Isla
“Melody, I don’t think this is such a good idea,” I warned, walking down the aisle at the store.
“Of course it is!” She grabbed Rice Krispies off the shelf and tossed them into the cart.
“Those are his favorites,” she exclaimed, grabbing the edge of it to pull it behind her.
“This one time, we made them from scratch in the kitchen, and we forgot about them and almost burned the house down.” She chuckled.
“The fire station had to come. Oh, it was great!”
I bet the boys have a much different perspective.
I had no clue what I was doing there with her to begin with, but when she showed up at the house for the hundredth time and the guys weren’t there, I couldn’t turn her down when she begged me to go shopping with her.
They’d been completely ignoring her. Julius even got the locks changed to the house in case she made a copy.
Having to admit that I felt bad for her wasn’t something I could discuss with either of them. They refused to broach the subject and immediately shut me down whenever I tried.
Kraven’s birthday was tomorrow. She said she wanted to recreate his last party, including the Jurassic Park theme.
We spent all morning Ubering around for supplies, and this was our last stop, but the guilt was eating me alive.
I couldn’t shake it. It was too much. However, that didn’t stop me from being there with her to help her find decorations and everything in between.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” I repeated, hanging on by a thread.
“Nonsense!” she excitedly shouted. “It’s going to be the best!”
The cost of everything she bought was adding up with each store we went into. Money didn’t seem to be an issue to her. She spent it faster than a hamster running on a wheel.
“So… Melody, what do you do for a living?”
“Oh, you know… a little of this, a little of that.”
“I see.”
“Oh!” She grabbed chips off the rack. “We finally found them!”
I hated that I was doing this. I felt like I was betraying them—and, in a way, I was.
Still, I was drawn to her. Maybe because I’d been living in her house and I’d gone through her things, her memories…
Or perhaps it was just from being a woman too, and I could relate to her wanting to make amends and reconnect with her sons.
The list was endless of maybes. I found a maybe for everything. Feeling as if I was learning more about the boys in ways they would never be able to show me or even explain. The irony was that it was probably pushing me away from them. Their points of view were much different from mine.
It was all fucked, and I wasn’t much for swearing, but there was no better word to describe what was happening and what we were all feeling, whether they were opposite emotions or not.
It didn’t help that I found all their personal items. All their family mementos, their keepsakes, their past…
So much was left behind for someone who wasn’t eventually going to return home, making me assume she thought she’d come back at some point. Maybe time got away from her.
It wasn’t an excuse, though the truth could sometimes sound like that. I tried to see their sides, truly I did. I already felt this deep connection to her. Maybe it was from never thinking I’d have a woman figure in my life.
The way she was acting.
Begging them for forgiveness.
It was calling to me.
She was calling me.
Against my better judgment, I indulged her.
Offering a little more insight into her sons’ lives for her.
I did keep it to the bare minimum, not wanting to invade their privacy by providing information to a woman who didn’t deserve it.
Especially when she could have been there, experiencing it with them.
She told me how she was a recovering alcoholic and addict, and how she felt like the worst mother in the world for the longest time.
Spending every day since trying to make up for her past mistakes by finding some stability in her life.
She’d been in recovery for a while and wanted to contact Julius and Kraven, but wasn’t ready until now.
She was persistent that everything happened for a reason, and Kraven needing her was her reason.
Their reason.
Hearing how they grew up and getting a deeper glimpse into their world and past felt intrusive, since they weren’t the ones confessing any of it to me, and they possibly never would have. It was why I was listening so intently, paying attention to every word she said.
She seemed genuine.
Honest.
Blunt.
I appreciated that.
After we finished shopping and carried the supplies into the house, I turned to her in the kitchen, stuttering, “How are you… I mean… we… going to—”
“How about you keep him out of the house until around seven, and then everyone can scream ‘Happy birthday’ when you guys walk in, and I’ll take care of the rest. I’m so excited to make this happen for Kraven. It’s the big one-eight, and I want to make it the most special it can be.”
“Alright…”
“You know what?” She grabbed my hands. “I can see that you're nervous. How about we don’t tell them you helped me? That way, when you show up, just act shocked.”
My eyebrows pinched together. “Really?”
She squeezed my hands. “I remember when Joe and I started dating, his mother was such a bitch to me, and I promised myself I’d never be like that. You’re my girl now…” she coaxed. “This can be our little secret. The beginning of many.”
“Melody—”
“What the fuck?” Julius roared, unexpectedly walking into the kitchen with Kraven not far behind him.
They were both glaring at her.
He wasn’t supposed to be home yet, and Kraven was never there.
Shit… how much did they hear?
“What do you think you’re doing?” Julius angrily questioned, standing right in front of her. “You’re trying to turn Isla against us now?”
I shook my head. “That’s not what’s—”
In three long strides, he was in my face. “What the hell are you doing with her? Why did you let her in?”
I stumbled to find my words.
“Isla, answer my questions before I lose my shit—”
“Before?” I interrupted, unable to hold back.
“Are you seriously going to stand there and defend her?”
“Julius.” Melody stood beside me. “It’s not her fault, please—”
“What. Are. You. Doing. With. Her?” He accentuated each word, downright furious.
“Julius, calm down,” Kraven demanded, grabbing his arm. “You know how Melody is.” His stare shifted to hers. “Mommy Dearest knows how to play the role.”
“Kraven,” she persuaded. “I just want to throw you a birthday party. That’s not too much to ask.”
“You shouldn’t be asking for anything!” Julius fumed.
“This isn’t helping,” I intervened with my hands in the air. “You both need to calm down, or nothing will get solved.”
Kraven’s eyes turned to me, and he snapped, “You’re taking her side?”
“What?” I shook my head again. “No! Of course not!”
We all stood there for what felt like hours, struggling to gather our thoughts. This huge elephant in the room engulfed us. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
I bit my tongue, fighting with everything inside me not to tell him how I really felt about the whole situation. They would hate me. This was the first time that it was me versus them, and I didn’t like it one bit. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
Not with us.
Either of them.
This wasn’t a good idea, and I should have known better. I hated feeling defeated, knowing I’d be responsible for whatever consequences would come from this. The questions running through my mind were infinite. I couldn’t stop them. None of us could.
Did I ruin what was building between us?
I couldn’t control the situation or the outcome, and that was the hardest part of all of this.
I sighed, inhaling a long, deep breath. I didn’t want to lie to them. It seemed as though I didn’t have a choice in the matter.
So I told half the truth. “It’s your eighteenth birthday, Kraven. It should be celebrated. Even if Melody is the one throwing it.”
The realization came to them.
Julius asked what they were both thinking, “Are you saying you think we should let her—”
“What if I was?”
Kraven berated, “Yeah, well, that’s not your choice to make.”
I bit my bottom lip, contemplating how to respond.
My emotions were getting the best of me. I stressed, “I’m sorry, I’m just trying to help both of you.”
Melody disclosed, “I can’t tell you how to live your lives. All I’m asking is to be able to throw a birthday party for you, Kraven. After that…” She paused for a second before promising, “If you don’t ever want to see me again, either of you, I’ll leave, I promise. It’ll be like I was never here.”
Julius and Kraven locked eyes until Kraven announced, “If that’s what it will take to make you leave, fine. Do what you need to clear your little conscience. At the end of the day, your feelings are the only ones that have ever mattered.”
He abruptly left after that, leaving the three of us alone.
Melody backed away, knowing this was the only window she’d receive and needed to leave before Julius slammed it shut, throwing away the key. She kissed the air and walked out the garage door with a huge smile on her face, probably thinking this was the beginning of fixing their relationships.
Once she was gone, I repeated, “I really am sorry, Julius.”
“I don’t think you are,” he conceded. “Or else you wouldn’t have pushed for all this.”
I spoke more truths. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never want to hurt you, and you know that.”
“You’re standing up for a woman who abandoned her kids. Her own flesh and blood. How are you not understanding that?”
I bowed my head, whispering, “People make mistakes.”
“If she abandoned us, Isla, what do you think she’s going to do to you?”
I was taken aback, glancing up at him.
He shook his head, scoffing. “Don’t get attached to her.
She’s toxic, and you’re blind. She doesn’t care about anyone other than herself, and you’re going to learn that the hard way.
It might not be today, or tomorrow, or even a year from now, but eventually, a snake always sheds its skin.
Remember that when she breaks your heart like she did ours. ”
“Julius—”
“You weren’t there, Isla. You don’t know how she tore us into pieces. The damage she caused. She destroys the people who love her. It’s how she operates. It’s how she’s made. I’m begging you… Pleading with you… She doesn’t deserve your sympathy, just like she doesn’t deserve ours.”
“Julius—”
“You don’t even know her. You think she’s the illusion she’s painting in your head, which is the furthest from the truth of who she really is. I’ve seen firsthand how she takes and takes, and you have no idea how much she’s taking from you until you have nothing left.”
I frowned, hating this argument.
“I’ve taken care of you, and that’s what you do when you care about someone more than you care about yourself.
You fill the void. You make whatever you can right for them.
All she does is fuck shit up. That’s who you’re running to.
That’s who you’re trying to let into our lives.
A woman who destroys everything in her path, especially the road with her sons. ”
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” I expressed, feeling the weight of his words. “Everything I want to explain, you won’t understand.”
“You think I want to say this to you? I hate being put in this position, but I’m warning you, stay away from her if you know what’s good for you.”
I swallowed hard, my chest rising and falling with each reckless thought.
Then he simply slammed the final nail in my coffin, speaking with execution, “She’s not your mom, Isla, and she’s never going to be. No matter how many times she claims to love you.”
And just like that, he buried me with the truth I’d been avoiding.