Chapter 44
Chapter Forty-Four
Kraven
Isla found us at the diner an hour later. It was one of our favorite spots to eat. She texted Julius, and he told her where we were. We ate our lunch in silence.
Where do we go from here?
Julius’s stare connected with mine, nodding toward the attendant. I was closer to her than he was, and I knew what he wanted me to do. I was thinking the same thing.
A few minutes later, the restaurant erupted with, “Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Isla! Happy birthday to you!”
Suddenly, Isla beamed, glowing so bright it was nearly blinding. Her smile illuminated the entire room. Her happiness was contagious. It was far too easy to make her content. She needed so little. It made me appreciate the small things more. Something as simple as a happy birthday song.
Julius smiled at her. “Make a wish.”
Isla tightly shut her eyes, concentrating on her wish, and I never wanted to know what she was thinking more than I did at that moment.
What did she wish for?
I just hoped it had nothing to do with Melody.
“Thank you, guys,” she declared. “That was my first happy birthday song ever.”
I think this was the first time she shared something like that with us at the same time.
“Well,” I simply stated, “the first of many.”
The rest of the day, I guess you could say we did a do-over. Isla chose everything we did, and we ended up at Central Park, trying to make up for yesterday.
For most of the time, she was funny.
Grateful.
Surviving the aftermath that was Melody Knightly.
On the train ride back to the house, she sat between us and grabbed our hands. Placing them in her lap. We rode like that for the entire ride. When it was time to get off, she stood first and thanked us again for the day. Julius kissed her neck, pulling her close to his side.
It was dark out by the time we walked inside the house.
Isla walked into the kitchen, asking, “You guys hungry? I could throw some chicken on the grill.”
“Sure,” I replied. “I’ll go turn it on for you.”
“Thanks.”
“You can open our gifts after I get it going.”
“Sounds good.”
I caressed the side of her face for a second. It was the first time I’d touched her in what felt like forever.
She was soft.
Warm.
Comforting.
My gaze connected with my brothers, who were watching us from the couch with an expression I couldn’t place. I removed my hand, smiling at her as her eyes found Julius’s as well. It didn’t take long for us to be back in this crossfire.
Turning away, I opened the backyard door and turned on the light before stepping out onto the wooden porch. A cold breeze blew through, making me shudder. Or maybe, just maybe, it was a warning of what was still to come.
I looked over, shouting, “Fuck!” Not believing my eyes. “Julius!”
I couldn’t move.
My feet stuck to the floor beneath me.
Julius hurried to my side with Isla not far behind him.
“What’s wrong—” He stopped dead in his tracks, coming face-to-face with the reality that was our life.
There was Melody.
Our mother.
The woman who abandoned us.
With a fucking needle in her arm.
Isla gasped, and her hands flew to her mouth.
“Melody!” Julius sprang into action, falling to his knees at her side. He shook her, desperately trying to wake her. “Don’t do this! Don’t you fucking do this to us! Wake up!”
Nothing.
“Julius…” I rasped, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.
“Kraven, call 911 now!”
My head fervently shook back and forth. “Julius…”
“Kraven, now!”
“Julius, please…” I begged, silently praying he knew what I needed.
That I wouldn’t have to say it.
“Kraven—”
“Just take the fucking needle out of her arm!”
When he didn’t do it fast enough, Isla did it for him, as if she were focusing on the same thing, needing it as badly as I did. She chucked it across the yard.
Reaching for my cell phone in my pocket, I frantically pulled it out, my hands shaking. I was on the verge of losing my shit, not knowing what the fuck I should do.
Feel.
My vision began tunneling.
The sounds around me echoed in the distance.
My hands started to sweat.
My mind swirled back to the last time we found her like this. I was eight, and the ambulance had to give her Narcan. I thought we lost her then, but this was much worse because her lifeless eyes were staring right at me.
Anxiously shaking away the images, I called, hitting the speaker.
“911, what is your emergency?” she said on the other end.
“Melody! I mean… my mother… our mother… she’s… she’s not breathing… I…”
“Sir, you need to calm down. Help is on the way, but I need you to listen to me and do as I say so we can help your mom until the EMS gets there, okay?”
With wide eyes, I confessed, “I don’t want her to die, but I think she’s already dead…”
Tears brimmed my eyes.
“Is she in a safe place? Anything around her that she could hurt herself with?”
“No, she’s in my brother’s arms. She had a needle in her arm.”
“The EMS is en route and will be there in one minute.”
“Melody!” Julius yelled in a panic. “Come on, don’t do this to me! Don’t you fucking do this!”
I watched my brother fall apart in front of my eyes.
“Sir, you need to calm down, too. You can’t help her like this. She needs you to be strong. Can you do that for me? Can you do that for her?”
My eyes snapped to the front door when I heard knocking, seeing the red and white lights flashing through the front window. “Come in!” I shouted, ending the call with the operator.
They must have been near. They’d never gotten here that fast.
Two men and one woman dressed in uniforms rushed into the room, ushering us out of the way.
“Please! Help her!” Isla yelled, backing up to the adjacent wall. Using it to support her weight.
“Please! Help her!” I repeated, my vision zeroing in on her.
I dragged my hands through my unruly hair, trying like hell to shake the feeling that this was just our fate.
“Sir, calm down,” the woman coaxed with her hands out in front of her while the two men hovered around my mother, holding her down much harder and firmer than Julius was.
“You’re hurting her!” I shouted. “You’re fucking hurting her! Can’t you see she needs help!”
“They’re not hurting her, Kraven.” Julius grabbed me. “I promise they’re just doing what they’re trained to do.”
“Calm down?” I spit. “You want me to calm down when we just found our mother with a needle in her arm?!”
“Kraven,” he guided. “You’re going into shock.”
“Then get her to wake the fuck up!”
“Is she allergic to anything?” the man asked.
“I don’t know…” Julius informed. “I don’t think so, but I don’t know.”
“What’s her name?” the other uniformed man asked.
“Melody,” Julius replied, watching as they performed their routine to try to save her for us.
When we told her hours ago that this was what we wanted.
Did we manifest this? Is this our fault?
They carried her onto a stretcher, wheeling her still body toward the ambulance parked out in front of our house.
We followed close, hurrying her into the ambulance.
“I’ll go with her,” Julius announced.
“We’ll take an Uber,” Isla called out.
Because I was now unable to form words.
Julius
They hooked her up to all these machines, one right after the other.
They tried to explain to me what they were doing as they poked and prodded, trying to bring her back to life in the ambulance.
I held her hand, hoping she could feel my presence so that she wouldn’t feel alone.
That she still had a son who was battling his own demons beside her.
Mostly in the form of her.
I bit back the tears, hiding behind the pain I’d been used to all my life.
With glossy eyes, I watched them wheel her into the ER, paging the on-call doctor. One of the nurses told me to have a seat in the waiting area and they’d update me as soon as they could.
I sat in one of the cold chairs at the hospital, doing exactly that—waiting. In a place I’d come to know, remembering all the times we were there for her or Joe. From getting their stomachs pumped to finding them passed out on the street, the list piled up after a while.
My stomach was in knots.
I growled with frustration, abruptly standing to my feet and practically crushing my phone in my hand. I started pacing the small waiting room, trying to govern my plaguing thoughts and reel in my emotions that were killing me inside. At this point, I was too far gone.
As if on cue, Isla and Kraven walked into the hospital, holding hands, and I quickly wondered who reached for who, but they both appeared as broken as I felt, so I didn’t say anything.
“Julius, right?” a man dressed in scrubs and a white coat greeted, pulling me away from my thoughts.
“Yeah,” I responded, already aware of where this was going.
The rest played out in slow motion.
For a few seconds, Kraven and Isla mirrored my stare, though it wasn’t the same. She might have put the needle into her arm, but I was the reason she did it.
Every decision had a consequence, and this one was mine.
Except I never imagined mine would lead to killing my mom.