Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
“Hunger.”
A chill ran down Thalia’s spine at the word spoken low in her ear.
“Hunger.”
She didn’t want to open her eyes, didn’t want to see the sick Vampyr hovering above her.
“I hunger for you.”
A cold finger pressed into her cheek, leaving a trail of wetness in its wake.
“Hunger—”
Thalia woke, gasping for air.
She twisted in the sheets, trying to untangle herself from where they were wrapped around her throat like a noose.
“Thalia—” Cassius’s voice was a beacon in the dark as she finally flung the sheets off her. “What’s wrong?”
She felt a warm hand on her bare shoulder. She hadn’t heard him slip into bed after he’d finished whatever he’d attended to. Thalia jerked, her feet finding the floor as she stood, pacing away from the bed.
“What’s wrong?” Cassius’s words were sterner now, but she couldn’t look at him. She shook her head, arms wrapping around her middle as she walked to the window, trying to get air into her lungs.
“Talk to me.”
She turned, making out Cassius’s form at the end of the bed, his bare torso gleaming despite the lack of light.
He looked like she remembered him. Back before he’d betrayed her, before she’d stabbed him.
Before this whole mess got dumped in her lap.
He didn’t even seem to have been affected by their time together earlier that evening.
After his confession about missing her had sent fire straight into her bloodstream and she couldn’t tell whether she burned from rage or something else.
“Thalia?” Cassius’s face was open, his brow knotted in concern.
She wished he would stop saying her name. Wished he would stop looking at her as though he cared. Because how could he care as … as that? As a monster? As a creature meant to drink blood, not water? How could he still feel human?
Thalia’s throat tightened.
“I’m here.” Cassius’s words broke through her racing thoughts.
She stared at him, her throat tightening further.
He’s a monster. He’s who you’ve sworn to destroy. Her mother’s voice seemed to whisper like a snake in her ear. And yes. He was a monster. Her plan to use him to get close to the prince was the only one she had. But even that thought sent an oily feeling through her stomach.
Because he was … Cass.
Cass who’d bandaged her arm when she’d fallen off Helios and scraped it against a sharp rock when she was fourteen.
Cass who’d rescued her from her first ball when all her mother wanted was to parade her before the court—yet he’d snuck her out so they could go walk in the garden instead.
Cass who’d promised to be by her side no matter what. No matter if she married someone else. No matter if she had to live in a different kingdom.
He’d vowed to be with her until the end.
And maybe it was the fear still pulsing through her blood from the nightmare, or the memories that chased her almost as much as she’d chased him, but she craved some semblance of comfort—of something she knew after being thrust into a world she so sorely didn’t understand.
Thalia moved across the floor and Cassius stiffened, no doubt bracing for an attack, but Thalia just grabbed his face, hauling her mouth to his.
He grunted against her lips, surprise sharp and tangy on her tongue. Thalia wound her arms around his neck, pulling her body flush against his, her nightgown doing nothing to mask the feel of his hard body against hers.
She kissed him deeper, willing him to kiss her back. Willing him to let go of whatever restraint he kept for himself.
Please, her lips seemed to beg his. Please.
Cassius gripped her shoulders, pushing her back. His eyes glowed brighter than the moon. “What are you doing?” he rasped.
Thalia shook her head. “I- I need you,” she got out, closing the distance between them. His lips formed perfectly against hers, a key fitting into a lock.
Cassius tore his mouth away, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “Thalia, this is not—we aren’t—we aren’t going to do this.”
She gripped his wrists, feeling the strength of his muscles. “You said you missed me,” she whispered. His hands loosened slightly, and she was able to press herself against him. “Was that another lie?”
Cassius’s throat bobbed. “No. No it wasn’t a lie.”
“You said you wanted to taste my flesh again.” She ran her tongue up the strong column of his neck, his heated skin burning beneath her mouth. Cassius groaned, his fingers tightening once more on her shoulders. “That it’s driving you insane.”
Cassius suddenly gripped her face with one hand, tilting her head back with the other, his fingertips tangling in her blonde hair.
Hunger marked his features, his mouth parted slightly to reveal sharp-pointed fangs.
But the sight didn’t scare her. In fact, it sent a pang of awareness straight into her belly.
“You’re married,” he finally got out. “To the man I serve.”
“It can be our secret,” she whispered. She didn’t even care that suddenly this didn’t feel like seduction.
Didn’t care that the traitorous heat in her chest had traveled right to her core, making her ache.
“It’s not as though monarchs don’t take other lovers.
It’s not as though we’ve never talked about doing just that. ”
Because even when she’d been engaged to that human prince, the plan was always to have him.
His gaze darkened, his head tilting slightly until they shared a breath. “What happened, Thalia?”
She snapped her gaze to his, frustration blooming alongside her desire. “I don’t want to talk.”
“We should talk.”
Thalia jerked back. “Talk about what, Cassius? There’s nothing to discuss. Do you want to fuck me or not?”
A muscle in Cassius’s jaw flickered. Then he let go of her face and took a step back. Cold air brushed between them, stretching like a shoreline.
“What are you doing?” she practically growled out, her fingers curling as though she could still feel his strength beneath them.
“We aren’t doing this.”
“Why the fuck not?”
“Because when we fuck, it’s because we both want it. Not because one of us is trying to escape something. And it certainly won’t be a secret.” Thalia’s body went numb as Cassius grabbed the blanket at the end of the bed. “I’ll sleep on the settee.”
Just like that, the fire inside her died, leaving nothing but a pile of ash in its wake.