Chapter 18 Reason Ten
I walked out of the water, glaring at the oak tree to my right.
When I reached Gray’s truck, I grabbed the duffle bag I’d packed for us and slung it over my shoulder.
I waved at Gray, motioning for him to come out, and laid a blanket on top of the grass.
Grabbing the bottle of wine I’d smuggled in when he’d picked me up, I took another gulp.
The bottle was already half empty, and it had only been an hour since we’d arrived.
The trip to the lake had been his idea. A way of smoothing things over after two weeks of awkward tension. After he begged me to let him go, Gray invited me for a sleepover. He held me. My God, he held me like I was his.
Then he went dark.
We still saw each other at work, but when we did, it felt like those first few days after I started. Like he was guarding himself. Protecting his heart from the hurt.
Our afternoon at the lake felt like old times.
Two-liter and Half-pint, splashing around in our lake like children.
I had the picnic set up by the time he finally came out.
Making no effort to hide my gaze, I stared openly at his sack as it bounced beneath his boxer briefs.
When he came to a stop, Gray cleared his throat.
I continued staring at him and shrugged.
“I have eyes. I’m allowed to look.”
“Are you?” he asked, a smirk forming on his face.
“Try and stop me.” I smirked right back at him. “You can look, too. I won’t tell.” I spread my legs a little wider. He glanced down, nibbling his lip. The half-bottle of wine swimming through my bloodstream had given me courage. More courage than I had any right to.
Gray snapped himself out of his haze and forced a laugh, lowering himself onto the blanket.
“Just so we’re clear, you’re banned from picnic planning for the rest of your life,” he said, pointing at the disastrous smorgasbord laid out in front of us.
The selection was certainly eclectic, I had to give him that.
I’d gone to great lengths to plan our menu.
And, by great lengths, I meant raiding my mother’s fridge and shoving every low-carb item inside in a bag.
There were chicken wings, a bowl of tuna, fruit salad, bacon, a couple of burger patties, a veggie tray, and a pack of Fruit Stripe gum for dessert.
“After last time, I thought it would be best if I gave you a few more options. You really don’t like it?” I said, pouting my lip at him.
“Listen, I love Brussels sprouts and scrambled eggs as much as the next guy, but that’s not a meal. And honestly, I think it should probably be a crime to pair them together.”
“It’s carb-friendly. I won’t be judged for taking pride in my appearance, Grayson.”
“Pride is a sin,” he pointed out. “And we all get judged one day, Half-pint.”
“I could say the same about you and your hair gel.” And then, I realized I couldn’t, because as Gray finished drying his hair, there wasn’t a single bit of product left for me to make fun of.
Seeing him like that, completely natural, made my stomach flutter.
I stood up and walked forward, running my fingers through it, staring at him like a lovesick teenager.
He cocked his head to the side, studying my face. “What is it?”
“It’s just weird to see you like this, you know? Without all of that gunk in your hair.” My hands fell lower, my thumb grazing his face. Taking another step forward, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek to his chest. His heart was racing.
“What’s this for?” he said, pulling me in even closer.
“I'm just happy to be here with you.”
Despite his protests that all he wanted from me was a platonic friendship, he didn’t seem to mind the affection that I’d been showing him all day. And how could he? He’d met each of my stolen glances and every single unnecessary touch with one of his own.
At that secluded lake, less than a mile from his childhood home, we were free.
It had always felt like that. The lake was ours.
Our own little haven where we could escape the world's prying eyes.
There was no judgment there. No big scary man in the sky staring down at us with a righteous look of rage on his face.
When we sat on the blanket, I laid on my back, resting my head on his lap. He smiled down at me and traced my eyebrow with his thumb.
“I’m glad we came out here today,” I said, reaching for his hand.
His fingers slid between mine and I guided his hand to my heart.
“Can you feel that? It’s beating like crazy.
I had a bad feeling about today, but it’s been perfect.
Because I’m here with you.” I grabbed the wine bottle and took another swig.
“I’m glad we came, too. There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about,” he said.
“Do you think maybe we can come back on Saturday? You’re off this weekend. I can see if Rhonda will cover my shift. I’ve just been missing you, you know?”
“I’ve been with you at work every day.”
I shook my head. “Not like before. I haven’t talked to you in two weeks.
Not really.” I took another swig of wine and let out a belch that I was in no way proud of.
Gray reared his head back and cackled. “We don’t go quiet on each other.
Not anymore, okay? If you’re mad at me, you have to talk to me about it.
Get that shit out in the open so we can move past it. ”
“Sorry,” he said. His jaw went slack, and he reached for me, stroking my chin.
“Really, I am. I’ve had a lot of stuff on my plate.
I know it’s no excuse, but I didn’t mean to hurt you.
I never want to hurt you.” He sniffed, turning his head toward the water.
“I’d never set out to do anything to hurt you. Not on purpose. You know that, right?”
I reached up, bumping the tip of his nose with my finger.
“Well, today’s your lucky day. There’s a very simple solution to that: just don’t hurt me.
” I closed my eyes, taking in the scent of the water, the sound of leaves dancing on the wind, and the warmth of the sun shining on my skin.
“I’m never as happy as I am when we’re here.
It’s like we can be anyone we want to be, you know?
We always could.” I stretched my arms above my head, looped my arms around his waist, and I ran my hands up and down his back.
“You think one day we could get a place out here? Have one built, maybe? And then we could just always be us.” I pointed at a clearing past the oak tree.
“Right there. We could build it ourselves.” I paused, thinking of the logistics of it all.
The buzz I had from the wine made everything feel possible.
Had the logs been in front of me, I would have started construction right then.
“I don’t really know exactly how one constructs a house, but it would be fun to learn.
And we could get us a dog. Maybe another beagle?
That would be perfect, don’t you think?”
“Are you drunk right now?” He traced my eyebrow again, and a smile coated with sadness peppered his face.
“I may have partaken in a bit of lakeside revelry, yes, but that’s not the point.”
“It’s absolutely the point. You’re drunk and talking about building a dang cabin, Kent. You’re not making any sense. Besides,” Gray said. “I’ve already got a dog.”
I cocked my head to the side and stared at him. “Since when?”
Gray darted his eyes away and stared out at the lake. “Got him a few months back. But, like I was saying—”
“I think you would have told me if you’d gotten a dog.
I’m calling bullshit on this one.” I reached up and thumped his nose.
“There’s something you’re not telling me.
I’ll get it out of you one day, but today is not that day.
” I lifted my hands over my head and stretched, yawning obnoxiously, right at him.
“You like the idea, don’t you? Me and you.
It’ll be me and you, and this mystery dog of yours.
Just how it’s supposed to be.” Everything about the moment felt right.
I was cuddled up against my favorite person in the world, drunk on half a bottle of wine, and the world felt alight with possibility. “Me and you, forever. You know?”
His throat clicked. “We’ve talked about this.”
“Building a cabin?” I tilted my head to the side, racking my brain for a memory of this. Any memory of this. “Have we really? Was I sober? Because I don’t remember a lot of the stuff that happens when I’m sober. I’m much more on my game when I’m under the influence."
“Dammit, Kent. Just shut up for a second, will you?”
I sat up and whirled around on my ass, glaring at him like he’d just punched me in the face. “Well, that was rude. And don’t swear. It’s like hearing a nun telling someone to go fuck themselves. You’re too precious to dirty your tongue." I waggled my eyebrows at him. "With words, at least.”
“That’s not the damn—” he sighed. “That’s not the dang point. I need to tell you something. That's why I brought you out here today.” He fixed his gaze on the lake as if it held the last of his courage. “There’s something I need to show you, and I need you to stay calm when I pull it out.”
“Sounds kind of tawdry, if you ask me.” I reached down, sliding my finger into the waistband of his drenched boxer briefs, letting his pubes twirl around my finger.
Gray slapped my hand away from his groin and rolled his eyes.
He reached forward, grabbing his bag; his beautiful, frustrated face glowing under the golden sun.
When I saw what it was—when I witnessed that small, red box in his hand—I shivered.
The temperature was in the lower nineties, but I felt frozen.
“Kent?”
I cocked my head to the side, genuinely confused by the turn of events.
A ring. He was giving me a ring.
“Gray, are you proposing to me? Because we haven’t even kissed since I got back.”