Chapter 6
SIX
Jesse
“Hey, Jesse.” Hollie’s voice over the phone purred with strange familiarity.
I cleared my throat, sitting forward in my seat. “Hey.”
The room where Cade and I waited swirled around me as I blinked against the memories assaulting my brain.
I wouldn’t have complained about making small talk with wedding guests if I’d known this was what awaited me.
My recurring nightmares were infused with things like white walls, beeping monitors, scrubbed nurses, and surgeons with masks.
Being at a hospital in the month of April was my version of an absolute living hell.
All my abounding gratitude for Cade’s life was quickly overshadowed by the panic clawing up my chest and choking out any spark of joy.
My chest tightened like someone sat on it.
Sweat beaded under my arms and my fists clutched the plastic armrests of the chair.
My gaze trained on the episode of Clone Wars playing in the corner, hoping a bit of visual distraction would help my mind not wander too far.
I didn’t want to be here. I wanted to be anywhere but here.
She said, “I’ve been wondering how things are going.”
“They’re not really. We haven’t seen a doctor yet.”
“Still?”
“Nope. We’re waiting for someone to take Cade to radiology.”
“Gotcha.” She hummed. “How are you?”
I closed my eyes, unable to protect myself from the sounds of beeping monitors and raised voices. “I’m hanging in there.”
“You sound tired.”
I hadn’t realized how tired I was until she suggested it. “Honestly, I am. That took a lot out of me.”
“Well, adrenaline’s known for that.” Her voice was gentle, understanding.
“Yeah, guess so.” I drew a deep breath, forcing my voice to sound more chipper. “But I wanted to let you know that I talked to Tag. They’re gonna send someone out to get you guys.”
“Oh. Thank you, but…” Her voice trailed off.
I waited a beat. “Did you already make arrangements?”
“No.” She paused so long I wondered if I was on hold. “I just…” She gave a self-conscious huff. “I feel kind of silly, because you don’t need my help or anything, but I wanted to stay with you and Cade just in case you end up needing support. I—I didn’t feel right leaving.”
I blinked a few times. “Uh, they want to observe Cade for four hours. We won’t get out of here until…eight or so.”
“That’s okay. We don’t mind waiting. You shouldn’t be alone unless you want to be.”
I knew one thing crystal clear. I was fed up with alone.
And it was the last thing I wanted to be.
There I was, watching cartoons, trying not to relive the final words my wife whispered to me, deep in the bowels of a hospital.
My hands were shaking and I feared that any moment might send my lunch careening up my throat.
She kept talking. “I just thought you might need dinner or want someone to sit with Cade while you take a walk or…I have some card games that maybe he’d like to play.
The girls played Go Fish for a whole hour on our flight and they asked if Cade could play.
Or…I don’t know…I could bring you some coffee? ”
The last two days had worked over my emotions so much that a lump—easy and quick—rose in my esophagus. I didn’t even know why. I tipped the phone away from my mouth and cleared the thickness from my throat.
I must’ve taken too long to respond because she rushed to add, “That might have been presumptuous. I can make us disappear if that’s better. I—”
“Hollie.”
She stopped.
“No. I just—didn’t know what to say.” My fingers tightened around the phone as I fought the urge to spill my guts. “All that sounds really great.”
“Oh.” Her pitch rose in surprise. “Okay.”
“I don’t want to be by myself, if I’m being honest.” Part of me wanted to slap those desperate syllables back into my mouth, but the other part of me didn’t give a damn.
If she thought I sounded like a big, scared baby who couldn’t sit in the ER without someone holding his hand, well, she’d be spot on.
“Oh. Okay.” She repeated herself, the words soft and breathy this time. “Well, do you want us to come there?”
I wasn’t used to asking for help. Back when I lived in Oklahoma, my support system was a given, and I took it for granted.
So much so that I jetted and hit up bars when grief called because I knew Mama was home with Cade.
I knew the McCarthys and the Holmes were watching my six; they’d have my back no matter how stupid I acted.
But the night I met Tag changed everything.
No more shortcuts. No more help. No more drinking.
I had to be a father. Had to be strong. Had to rise up even when I wanted to die.
She prodded when I failed to answer quickly. “You want me to bring you a coffee? Or is Cade hungry for something?”
My cheek rolled as I worked my jaw around my answer. “Coffee sounds great.”
“Good because I could totally go for an iced latte right now. I think there’s a Starbucks upstairs. What do you like?”
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a Starbucks coffee. Years. I didn’t even know what they had on the menu. “Just, uh, get me one of whatever you’re having.”
She clicked her tongue and hummed. “Great choice. I have impeccable taste.”
Despite the anxiety coiled around my chest, I chuckled.
“Can Cade have a cake pop? I can’t even say the word Starbucks without the girls harassing me for one.”
A shuffling sound and a squeal filled her end of the line. “Are we getting cake pops?!”
Hollie giggled into the phone. “See? Told you.”
“He’d love one.”
“Perfect. We’ll see you soon. Text me your room number.”
“Will do. Thank you, Hollie.”
“Of course.” I heard the smile in her voice and smiled back. When we disconnected, I was still smiling, thankful to have someone in my corner.
A soft knocking sound drew my eyes away from my phone. “Knock knock.”
I shoved it into my pocket as Hollie’s head peeked through the door.
I stood, “Hey.”
“Hi.” She gave me a shy smile as she ducked into the room.
Izzy and Nora filed in behind her. They ushered in the scent of warmth and sunshine with sweet smiles.
Looking at them, you wouldn’t know that Cade and I ruined their afternoon.
Hollie lifted a coffee up to me. “I got an iced hazelnut latte with oat milk. Hope you like it. I never order anything else.”
“Looks great.” I took it and waved to the chairs along the wall. “Have a seat.”
Hollie thanked me but didn’t sit. Her eyes flicked to Cade and she drew closer to the side of his bed. “How are you feeling?”
Cade gave her a quiet smile. “I’m a little sore.”
“Those stomach muscles probably feel bruised, huh?”
“Yeah.”
Hollie crinkled her nose. “Sorry about that.”
Cade, thank goodness, remembered his manners. “Thank you, Miss Hollie.”
She reached out and gently stroked the top of Cade’s fluffy hair.
Laurel had motherly muscle memory, things she did without thinking.
Like gentle swaying, comforting with soft hands, humming, and offering reassuring smiles.
Hollie’s ease with Cade was exactly that—maternal instincts mixed with years of practice.
I couldn’t pull my eyes away as she smiled. “I’m just glad I was able to help.”
Cade beamed up at her.
She dropped her hand. “Have you ever had a cake pop?”
The girls, right behind Hollie, chimed in. Izzy said, “They are the best.”
“We got you a pink one!” Nora added.
Izzy dug around in the brown paper bag and drew out something that looked like a lollipop. “Here!”
Cade took it, and spun the stick around in his fingers, curiously inspecting it. “Thank you.”
Nora climbed up on the bed like it was hers. “Does your throat hurt?”
Cade lifted a shoulder. “Not really.”
“Did it hurt when you were choking?”
“Yes.” Cade touched the tip of his tongue to the pink frosting.
“Were you scared?”
Hollie glanced at me. Mouthed, sorry.
I waved its fine then settled back into a chair and tapped my straw against my thigh to scrunch the paper down.
Hollie stepped across the room, sitting in the chair beside me. “They’re going to interrogate him. Hope that’s okay.”
“It’ll be good exposure therapy.”
Hollie’s eyes went wide.
I rushed to reassure her. “He’s fine, just kind of quiet. Being forced to talk now and then won’t hurt him.”
“Quiet’s not bad.”
“No, it’s not bad at all. I think most of the time he stays silent so he won’t miss anything. You can watch him soaking it all in.”
She clucked. “Which is terrifying, right?”
I huffed in agreement. “Yeah. You can’t hide much with kids.”
Hollie’s gaze drifted over to the bed where now three kids sat, Izzy shuffling Go Fish cards like a poker dealer from Vegas. “My girls have never known a stranger. They talked to the flight attendants so much that the pilot let them into the cockpit once we landed. We were the last off the plane.”
“Did you get a picture?”
“Of course.” She smiled. “Nora has told me no less than five times today that she wants to fly an airplane when she grows up.” She popped her straw into her cup then took a long sip. “Mmm. Precious caffeine.”
“Parenthood got me hooked.” Following suit, I lifted the straw to my lips. She watched, waiting for my reaction. A sweet, nutty flavor burst over my tongue. I raised my brows, impressed. “Wow.”
“You like it?”
“That…tastes like dessert.”
She chuckled. “In the mornings, I drink my coffee with half and half only, but in the afternoons it must taste like dessert or I can’t choke it down.”
“Good to know.”
Hollie was a Thompson. I could already see it in so many ways.
Not only did she possess Thompson physical traits, she talked like one—filling silences with ease, taking the edge out of difficult situations.
Bea did that flawlessly; it was one of the things that made her a perfect match for Tag, who was as socially inept as a rock unless he was talking about horses.