Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
Jesse
Nine weeks ago
“I’ve danced with a lot of people who don’t dance. And you, Hollie, aren’t one of them.”
Hollie’s chest expanded with every breath, torturously pressing into mine.
I didn’t know what I was doing, holding her like this. But I didn’t want to stop.
Couldn’t, more like.
I realized the music had turned slow. It was hard to hear over our conversation.
Maybe it turned long ago and my brain was just now catching up.
Didn’t matter much, we were dancing to our own tune anyway.
Nevertheless, I prodded her into a gentle sway, our bodies following the soft guitar strings.
“Okay, the truth this time. Do you dance?”
She rolled her lips, breaking our eye contact. “I did. A long time ago.”
“Tell me about it.”
“There’s not much to really tell.”
“Then give me the boring stuff.”
“Alright then.” She took a deep breath. “I was in a contemporary troupe in high school, got basic training in most styles, but it’s been forever. I can’t even remember the last time I danced with a partner.”
“Well, you’re a natural.”
“Thank you. I really do love it.”
“Why’d you stop then?”
She shrugged, her hold on my neck tightening. “Life, I guess.”
“Life shouldn’t keep you from what you love.”
“Yet it does all the time, doesn’t it?”
I huffed. “Can’t argue there.”
We fell silent, the sounds around us filling the quiet.
Our feet on the floor, the distant music, some horses shifting and sighing in their stalls.
Without my permission, one of my hands slid to the small of Hollie’s back, pushing her closer.
She moved in like she’d been waiting for my cue, her head coming to rest against my collar bone, the bristles on my chin catching the top of her hair.
She smelled so good. I leaned down, taking a big greedy inhale of her.
And she must’ve realized exactly what I’d done because she turned her face into my neck and did the same, her nose making contact with my flesh. Her chest expanded as it filled and my body reflexively squeezed her.
Every single second of this was brand new territory. The only woman who had ever stepped foot in my life was Laurel. I’d never dated or wanted anyone besides her.
And now I couldn’t deny reality.
I wanted Hollie.
I wanted to kiss her and hold her. I wanted to explore whatever it was we had—whatever this kinship and familiarity was. She felt like someone I’d known forever and I’d be damned before I let her leave without at least trying to figure out why.
“Hollie.” My voice pulled tight, and I swallowed against the need pressurizing in my chest.
She didn’t lift her head. “Yes?” she whispered.
“I want to ask you something.” I tried to still the way my breaths had gone sideways, erratic. “I think I already know the answer, but the fact I’m just now bringing it up is embarrassing. Uh, the thoughts I’m having…I just…” I was butchering this. “I just need you to confirm.”
She stiffened, but still didn’t move. “Confirm what?”
“That you’re single.”
Our sway never faltered as our bodies moved in sync like nodding wheat in a warm June breeze. But as her silence stretched, my heart sunk in my chest.
“I’m single, Jesse. But…
I held my breath, afraid to hope.
“My situation is far from straightforward.”
I blinked. “You’re not married?”
Again, a pause. “No. I’m not.”
My body slacked with relief, but I continued our dance, confused on how that knowledge changed a thing. It didn’t. She’d still be leaving early tomorrow morning. The only thing her singleness soothed was my conscience. “What about their father?”
Another long silence ensued—she was weighing her words. I wondered why. Finally, she answered, “We co-parent.”
“You’re divorced?”
Again, she paused. “Yes.”
“I’m sorry.” I said it on instinct, but I didn’t mean it.
In the following quiet, my questions piled sky high. But I let them be. Right now, I had all the answers I needed.
Her right hand slipped down, coming to rest on my sternum.
Surely she felt my heart trying to come out of my chest.
She whispered, “Why are you asking?”
A chuckle rumbled up my throat. She had to be joking.
“What’s so funny?”
I looked down at her as she frowned. An adorable crease had formed in her brow. She was serious. So I schooled the humor on my face. “That question. I thought I was being really obvious.”
“About what?” She stopped dancing, her feet coming to a halt.
I took a deep breath, thinking carefully. I refused to believe my words would be some shocking revelation to her. She was asking because she wanted the truth spelled out—nice and clear, right from the start. I could respect that.
“About the fact that I’m feeling way more for you than I should be.
Ever since I picked you up from the airport, I’ve felt different.
Lighter. I’m scheming just to try and talk to you for a few seconds here and there.
And even when I’m trying not to pay attention, my eyes keep finding you.
I don’t know if I’m half mad or what my problem is, but I think…
part of me hoped you’d follow me out here. ”
Her voice caressed my name. “Jesse.”
But I wasn’t done. “I…want to kiss you. And I think you want to kiss me, too. But I have no idea if I should just go for it, or ask permission, or what.”
Her gaze dropped to my mouth and her tongue wet her lips.
That simple action jolted my blood like a strike of lightning. I let my forehead fall against hers. Her hands snaked up and curled around the back of my neck again, her fingers finding the edges of my hair this time. My eyes fluttered closed, my hands reflexively tightening around her waist.
She whispered her words over my lips. “I think…”
I waited, my heart turning so many times I struggled to stand straight.
“I think you should just go for it.”
I let go of her hip, raising my hand to cup her cheek. For only a moment, I lingered, letting my thumb skim her full bottom lip and sinking my fingers into the hair behind her ear. Hollie’s eyes fluttered closed, her face upturned and ready.
Then I closed the few inches between us, brushing my lips over hers.
A tense exhale escaped my lungs as relief and desire declared war in my body.
I wanted to touch everything and nothing—so my hands hovered, unsure of where to go and certain I’d screw this all up if I chose wrong.
Slowly, my other hand came to rest on her face, too.
Her cheeks and jaw moved beneath my palms as she met me stroke for stroke.
One hand toyed with my hair while the other moved down, tracing the slope of my neck.
Every move she made shredded my self-control. I tried to come in slow, but each passing second proved Hollie was just as hungry for a kiss as she was our hug. And she egged us on. She hung her weight on my neck, pulling me down, closer.
Our languid kiss picked up pace.
Instincts took over and I stopped wondering what to do, how to touch her. My body raised a white flag, giving in to what felt right. Holding her face, I tilted her head to the side and tested the barrier of her lips with my tongue. She opened, a soft mewing sound rising from the back of her throat.
As I fully tasted and explored her, the world melted away. Like someone pulled a dimmer switch, all our surroundings—every last thing in existence—faded into the shadows.
It was just us.
How would I ever come back from her? I didn’t know. I did not know.
My hands left her face, slipping over the buttery fabric of her dress again, curling low on her hips and back.
I pulled her flush against me, relishing in the way her body arched into mine.
Hollie’s soft sounds and eager movements obliterated whatever resolve I had coming into the moment.
When her tongue dipped into my mouth, my body quaked and a low groaning rumble vibrated in my chest.
She wasn’t supposed to feel this good.
Her hands lit a fire across my body, sliding to every place and exploring me through the fabric of my shirt. I felt like a glacier, warming up and breaking apart after a long winter. The pieces of my masculinity that had been neglected were alive and well, ready for whatever came next.
My hands found her hips again, and without breaking our kiss, I backed her until she hit the work bench.
When I leaned into her, our restraint disintegrated.
Her frantic hands fumbled for the buttons on my shirt, and I reached behind her, swiping my forearm over the workbench to clear a spot.
Tools clattered to the ground, and my hands slid down to lift her onto the table.
With zero hesitation, her legs wrapped around my body.
I broke our kiss, hissing a curse, fighting the urge to melt as my hands skimmed up the outside of her thighs.
Then, she let her head fall back, granting me access I sure as hell did not need but craved like it was the last drop of water on the face of the earth.
With ragged breaths, I leaned forward, letting my lips touch her neck, her throat, her chest—every inch not covered in fabric.
She whined my name. Instinctively, I shushed her.
Shit, that was sexy though.
You have to stop, Holmes.
Unable to bear the way my conscience raged at me, I pulled away, a painful groan ripping from my throat. “Hollie, we have to stop.” My lips returned to her mouth. “Ask me to stop.”
She kissed me back until I pulled away again. Her chest heaved with her breaths, a sheen of sweat on her brow. “What if—I don’t want to stop?”
Despite it all, a bitter chuckle escaped. “You’re not supposed to say that.”
A wisp of hair around her face caught her fevered exhales. “Why not?”
“Because I’m trying my best to be a gentleman—”
“That was being a gentleman?”
I braced a hand on the bench behind her, dropping my head in laughter. How was I laughing right now? I could barely think, scarcely breathe, yet she was sitting there, teasing me. She smiled, even as her legs quaked like she was made of jello.
Man, I was trembling, too.