Chapter 22 #2
They shouldn’t have been life-altering words, but they were.
Tears shouldn’t have pooled in my eyes, but they did.
I blinked them back and changed the subject. “I’m worried about Tag. Do you think he’ll be okay?”
Jesse took a deep breath, his shoulders tight against the motion. “He’s hanging on by a thread. Bea being here will help. Thanks for bringing her.”
“Of course. Their bags are in my car. I should’ve brought them in, but I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s fine. I can help you get them.”
By some unspoken agreement, we both started walking again—the bags our new mission. A few minutes later, we found ourselves in the Texas sun, fishing their stuff from my trunk.
Once back inside, we all loaded into an elevator and Nora quickly pushed the floor button even though I asked Izzy to do it.
Izzy stuck her tongue out, which made Nora get teary eyed and hide behind my leg.
The tiny mini-crises with my girls kept the questions in my mind unattended, compounding the anxiety throttling my ability to breathe.
What did he mean by chances and shot?
He didn’t mean…romantically, did he?
I certainly hoped not, because I didn’t want to hurt Jesse. Surely he knew I had a life back in Colorado and that wouldn’t suddenly change just because I was here. Surely he knew that I wouldn’t subject my heart to such a short term relationship.
But that wasn’t what he meant. I had to be misunderstanding him.
My stupidity hit me like a clap of thunder as my mind yanked me into the past—Jesse’s hands roaming my body, his starved lips, his body engulfing mine.
It all made sense now.
That was what he was referring to. He wanted to kiss me again, and was afraid his comments had put me off. He wanted his chance at getting me in his bed. To shoot his shot.
For some reason, the realization relaxed me.
Sexual intentions were much less threatening than romantic ones.
I cleared my throat, needing to make conversation. “So, what’s the new plan? Can the ranch run without Tag and Cooper? You’ll be two men down.”
He leaned against the railing inside the elevator. The strap of Bea’s bag was slung over his shoulder, and he carried Tag’s duffle in the other hand. His eyes were wide as he considered how to answer. “I’m still trying to figure it out.”
“It’s a lot?”
“Tag leaves a big void.”
“And Cooper?”
“He mostly did menial tasks. Stuff anyone could do. Maybe I could temporarily hire someone to take his spot.”
“What if it takes weeks for him to heal?”
His eyes stopped roaming the ceiling, dropping to meet mine. “I guess we’ll just take it a day at a time then.”
I nodded, realizing that there were so many variables to consider. Things could change on a dime depending on whether Cooper recovered or not. “Well, I’ll do anything I can to help.”
“You’re already doing so much.” The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. He waved us through. “I hated making breakfast, so I’m glad you’re here.”
I smiled over my shoulder at him as I passed. “I’m enjoying that, actually.”
“You’re doing great.”
I smirked. “Cooper said I cook better than Bea.”
Jesse chuckled. “Ah. That’s why you like him.”
I stifled a giggle. “It did make me feel good.”
He looked down at me as we strode through the hallway again. “Hungry cowboys can’t be too picky, but yeah, I’d say we got an upgrade.”
I clapped a hand over my mouth and laughed. “I’m telling her.”
“You wouldn’t.”
I bit my bottom lip, wondering how he always pulled a smile out of me. “You’re right. I’m not that mean.”
Back in the waiting room, we brought Tag and Bea’s personal items to reception then sat down and waited.
I wasn’t sure what we were waiting for, only that we needed to be close by until something changed, until we got some sort of word or action plan.
Truthfully, the five of us had spent a lot of time together at hospitals. Hopefully that wouldn’t remain a trend.
Of course, Izzy pulled out her stack of cards, urging us to play Old Maid this time.
So we gathered around a magazine table and played several rounds, went on a vending machine hunt through the hallways, and read the subtitles on the silenced Fox News channel.
By all accounts, the afternoon should’ve been like watching paint dry.
But it wasn’t.
Being around Jesse instantly lifted my spirits. He was funny, relaxed, and so easy to talk to. He was a great dad and didn’t shy away from talking with my girls. Trying not to notice him was like refusing to look at the Rockies in Estes Park—impossible.
But he was watching me, too.
Any time I laughed or smiled or parented my daughters, I felt his gaze.
Whenever I looked up and caught him watching, he flashed me a soft, guilty smile and didn’t rush to look somewhere else. He was completely comfortable with his intent—whatever it was.
I didn’t know how to respond or what to do. If his end game was getting me in his bed, I’d have to try a lot harder to discourage him. But, to my shame, the attention soothed my broken spirit like jumping in a cool lake on a hot summer day.
Bea finally came out to the waiting room with news from the doctors and instructions from Tag. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying, and she held a hand over her womb.
The doctors said it would be a miracle if Cooper survived the next couple nights, but if he did, his chances of eventually leaving the hospital were good.
The main concern was aspirational pneumonia—the vomit he breathed in caused a rapid, lethal infection to spread through his lungs.
But he hadn’t coded again, even though his heart rate remained unstable.
Tag asked us to pick up the Ranger from Janice’s house and go back to the ranch.
There was nothing we could do here. Even if Cooper passed, there wouldn’t be anything we could do.
There wouldn’t be final goodbyes or rallying around Tag and Bea.
We weren’t allowed in the ICU, and that was that.
Tag and Bea would likely find a nearby hotel or just spend nights at the hospital.
Before Bea left, Jesse asked, “How is Tag?”
Bea’s throat dipped on a swallow, her voice quaking. “He’s…hanging in there, but he…” Bea’s eyes flicked to me and she hesitated before responding. “He keeps dissociating.”
The wind left Jesse’s lungs as his head flopped down. He ran a hand over his face and his voice rasped with pain. “Oh, Bea, I’m so sorry.”
“He’s—feeling a lot of responsibility right now. You know him.” Bea started to cry again as Jesse pulled her into the sweetest, brotherly hug. She cried. “I’m—afraid.”
Jesse gently pushed Bea back to look in her face. “No matter what happens to Cooper, you hang on tight to Tag, alright?”
Bea nodded. “You know I will.”
“I know. Don’t worry about the ranch. We got everything.”
We.
He probably meant himself and Harlan. Not me. Because I certainly couldn’t be trusted to take care of a ranch. But then, Jesse looked at me, his eyes dead serious. “Don’t we, Hollie?”
I blinked. “Yep. We will take care of everything.”
Bea reached out to hug me next. She spoke over my shoulder. “I have no idea what we would do without you right now, Hollie. You are a godsend. Thank you.”
I squeezed her back. “I love you so much. And Tag.”
“And we love you.” She stepped back and swiped her eye with her collar. “Okay. I need to get back there.”
Then we left.
Because Meadowbrook needed us now.