Chapter 32
THIRTY-TWO
Hollie
Iwould be a lot more educated about rodeo if Jesse’s thigh hadn’t been pressing against mine the entire time he explained it.
He carefully walked me through all the aspects of the scoring and the draw and whatnot, because I asked him too, but all I could focus on was the way his shoulder kept bumping me as he pointed to various parts of the arena.
Or the way he leaned closer to my ear when the intermittent music blared over the speakers.
Or the way he shared his water with me after I accidentally kicked mine over.
Or the way he kept an eye on our children, who clung to the exterior arena fence, trying to get as close a look as possible.
Or the way he smiled at me, so easy every time.
And we definitely seemed closer together than we were when the rodeo started.
Had he scooted closer? Or had I? Part of me felt guilty for not talking to Bea, who sat on the other side of me, but pulling my attention away from Jesse was like padding upstream on the Niagara River.
He was so enthusiastic and so…educated on all this stuff.
And a man possessing any kind of expertise was just plain hot.
I could listen to him talk all night, even if I never internalized a word.
I tried hard not to beam at him with stars in my eyes, but I doubted I could keep my admiration off my face. He truly captivated me. Which was outrageous. Because, just last week, I claimed I only wanted him as my friend.
But, gracious, nothing about the way our legs pressed together—from our thighs to our heels—felt like friendship. Sparks erupted in my belly every time he moved, shifted, or looked at me. The urge to slip my hand into his lap and entwine our fingers grew stronger by the minute.
I shook my head against the wild thoughts, trying to keep my desire between the lines, but the battle was hopeless.
I wanted him. And more than that, I wanted to be wanted.
And the way he kept looking at me, with that gentle smile and warm light in his green eyes, had me fully convinced he wanted me back.
That alone infused the scarred parts of my heart with hope.
Maybe I could be free of all the lies Garrett left me with.
Maybe I could be brave enough to try again.
But what would trying again even look like with a man who lived in Texas?
The qualifier was completely packed. This particular rodeo was a popular one in the area and Harlan went extra early to secure seats near the arena.
For two and a half hours, we watched and cheered for Meadowbrook horses while Tag, across the arena from us, loaded them in and out of chutes and kept an eye on the way they were treated by the cowboys.
Bea, gripping a Sprite in one hand and slowly munching a big, soft pretzel in the other, still looked pale but her eyes shone beneath the rim of her hat as she beamed across the arena at her husband. She’d been indoors for so long—this was the shot in the arm she needed.
To no one’s surprise, Meadowbrook horses brought in big scores.
Windy Foot, American Pie, JoJo, and Tom Sawyer made us especially proud.
Jesse cheered. So did Bea and Harlan. And the girls followed Cade’s cues—jumping up and down when he did.
When the sun was finally falling in the sky, Jesse pointed to the daysheet and leaned toward my ear.
“I leave when it’s time for the bulls.” According to the sheet, bull riding started in fifteen minutes.
I glanced over at him. “I wondered about that. What do you do if you’re the contractor at the rodeo?”
He shrugged. “Just take a walk.”
“Want company?” The words flew from my mouth before I could stop them.
Jesse glanced at the kids. “I always have company.”
Meaning Cade.
I lifted a shoulder. “Maybe the girls and I could come along.”
“You don’t think they’ll want to watch?”
I grimaced. “Yeah, they will.”
“You guys should enjoy this. I’ll be fine.”
The next fifteen minutes inched by as I agonized through mental gymnastics, trying to figure out how to enjoy the rest of the night without him beside me.
Finally, when Tag joined our group on the bleachers, Jesse climbed down the bleachers to stand beside Cade.
At this distance, I could see his lips moving but not hear his voice.
He thumbed over his shoulder toward the exit.
Cade looked at his dad then the girls then back at his dad. He shook his head.
Jesse raised his brows. His mouth moved in an unmistakeable you sure?
Cade nodded.
My heart swelled in my chest as Jesse backed away from Cade, alone. His eyes bounced up, catching mine. He didn’t call out or wave me down, just looked briefly before he turned away, following the path through the bleachers toward the exit. I wanted to go with him so badly I could scarcely breathe.
Bea’s voice cut into my panic. “Go.”
I startled out of my thoughts. “What?”
“Go with him.” A gentle smirk rested on her face.
“What are you talking about?” I waved her off. “I want to sit with you.”
Bea deadpanned. “I love you too, but you’re a terrible liar.”
“But—”
“Tag and I will watch the kids. They’re fine.”
My eyes moved to Jesse, catching the last glimpse of his broad shoulders disappearing in the vendor tents. “You sure?”
“Positive.” Bea smiled again even as her eyes narrowed on me. “But, when you come back, I want to know what’s going on with you two. Starting at the wedding.”
Red flush washed over my cheeks. “Deal.”
I pushed the plate back into Jesse’s hands. “I’m going to be sick if I don’t stop.”
Jesse chuckled, gladly taking the rest of the funnel cake. “I guess this is a bad time to ask if you want to ride the mechanical bull.”
I cackled. “I don’t think there’s ever a good time for that.”
Our backsides leaned against the edge of a picnic table, and our shoulders pressed together. All around were concession stands, vendor tents, and swarms of people. The bull riding commentary was loud in the overhead speakers and the spectators cheered repeatedly.
I reached behind where we sat to grab my Coke and rattled the ice before taking a swig. “So, we’ve looked around at rodeo merch and ate ourselves silly. Now what?”
The soft shimmer in his eyes caused desire to pool in my belly. “I have an idea.”
I followed Jesse as he led me out of the rodeo chaos and into the quiet gravel lot where trucks were parked.
I recognized the Meadowbrook truck a few rows down.
The monotone buzz of the parking lot joined the distant cacophony of the rodeo.
I lifted a brow as we approached the truck, wondering what on earth it could possibly have for us.
Jesse fished out his keys and said, “Hang tight.”
I stifled a smile as he stood on the passenger’s step rail and disappeared into the truck.
Thirty seconds later he reappeared at the door with two red tent chairs.
“Take these.” He handed them down to me, and I set them on the gravel.
Then soft country music filled the air, filtering from the truck’s interior speakers.
My smile broke free as he climbed down and flashed me his confident grin.
“Might not be the most interesting location, but it’s quiet out here. ”
He dragged the chairs to the end of the trailer, facing them toward the arena in the distance.
The stars overhead were muted by the light pollution, but I could still see their soft twinkle in the navy sky.
He waved me into a seat. “Now, whenever they shoot off the fireworks, we’ll have a good seat. ”
Watching the fireworks seemed…romantic. Conflict stormed in my chest.
I eased into a chair and for long moments we just sat and listened to the music.
Finally, Jesse brought up Cade and our conversation meandered through parenting, the ranch, and the rodeo.
When silence fell again, I said, “Well, I finally filled out some applications, and I had an interview the other night.”
“Nice. How’d it go?”
Trying to stay upbeat, I forced a smile. “I got a job.”
“Really?” The hesitancy in his voice mirrored my feelings.
“Yep. I’ll be doing customer service for a big tech company.
” When he didn’t immediately respond, my insecurities kicked in.
“It’s got decent pay, and I’ll be able to work from home which is really important since I want to be home when the girls are done with school, and…
I don’t know…maybe it’s a terrible option but it feels like the best I can do right now.
” My voice shook a little. Admittedly, customer service sounded like torture, but it was a step toward independence.
“I tried to find something in hospitality because I really like working at the bed and breakfast. I couldn’t find anything though.”
“Could you just stay here and keep working?”
I huffed a humorless laugh. “Part of me wants to, but I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“There’s a lot of reasons, the main one being my parenting agreement with Garrett.
I can’t really move out of the state without changing our custody agreement.
I told him I’d return next Sunday, and I should keep my word.
” Nothing about my future would be for myself.
Everything would be an attempt to appease the courts, support my girls, and keep the peace with Garrett.
“Plus, I can’t live with Tag and Bea forever.
If there was a way for me to stay, maybe I would try to do the legal stuff from a distance, although I don’t even know if that’s an actual option. I’d have to call my lawyer and ask.”
“Why does the custody agreement matter if he’s not following it anyway?”
“Because it’s still a court order whether he follows it or not. Technically, I’m risking trouble even coming here for a month.”
“Really?”
I shrugged. “I guess if he gets a wild hair one day and wants to see his kids then, yeah, we could get in trouble. But at this point, I don’t think he’d notice if we moved to Brazil.”