Chapter 36
The fiddle-leaf fig tree in the corner of my bedroom had dropped all but one of its leaves in my absence.
My plant app would probably tell me it was just as depressed as I was if I used it for a diagnosis.
Instead of confirming what I already knew, I poured the rest of my water bottle into its pot and attempted to give it a pep talk.
“You’ll be fine. You didn’t need all those leaves anyway. One looks good on you.”
The last leaf dropped to the floor dramatically, like it knew I’d been lying.
“Nice.”
I gave my bed a side-eye. It was never going to see any action, was it?
My chest felt tight and empty at the same time. Like someone had hollowed it out, leaving me sore in the process.
I freed my phone from my pocket and stared at the screen, void of any notifications. Tears stung my eyes and I gritted my teeth and quickly swiped to the app store, then began the process of redownloading the dating apps. I felt like Ana from Kari Cross’s book, ready to turn my life over to the AI.
“What are you doing?” Sloane asked when she came home from work several hours later. I was sitting on the couch, a glass of wine next to me, my phone in my hand.
“I’m trying to find someone to sleep with who is a somewhat decent human being.”
“Somewhat?”
“Not married, doesn’t think women are second-class citizens, doesn’t have a list of demands.”
“And you’re struggling in this goal?” she asked, eyes going wide.
“You’d be surprised.”
“Why are you trying to sleep with someone?”
“Because! Because men are stupid and only good for one thing. And I’ve embraced the power of the apps to bring me that one thing.
” I was really hoping that sleeping with someone else would get the taste of Oliver out of my mouth.
Help me forget this heartache faster. Because I didn’t like feeling like this.
She hung her keys on the hook in the kitchen and sat by me on the couch. “You want to talk about it?”
“I found out Oliver is Audrey’s ex yesterday and then I called her a bitch.”
“Wow. I… I didn’t see any of that coming and I read movie scripts for a living.”
“Oh, and Rob showed up at Audrey’s house ranting about me stealing Kari from him and now everyone knows I was sleeping with him.”
“I’m confused.”
“By which part?”
She toed off her shoes and pulled her feet up onto the couch with her. “By all of it. Oliver dated Audrey?”
“For about six months in college, I guess.”
“And he didn’t feel the need to tell you this?”
“Maybe that’s why he’s hesitated to date me for three years.”
“You think he’s known this whole time?”
“I don’t know.” I analyzed that thought. Maybe he really didn’t know until… “That day he showed me the website over here,” I said. “He’d spelled my last name wrong, remember? That’s why he got all weird that day.” So, the week before the trip.
Sloane gave a short laugh. “I bet your sister freaked out. Thought you did all this on purpose.”
“She did.”
Sloane put on her best Audrey voice and said, “I had him eight years ago for a minuscule amount of time, nobody else can have him, especially not my sister.”
“Just thinking of the fact that Audrey dated him first is a total turnoff for me, Sloane. I don’t want him.”
She sighed. “She’s married with almost three kids, Margot. Guarantee she doesn’t remember what color his eyes are, let alone how his dick feels inside her.”
“You’re the worst.”
My phone buzzed and I looked at the most recent message from some guy named Phillip. Want to send me dinner?
I turned my phone toward Sloane. “This is what I’m working with.”
“What does that mean? He wants you to bring him dinner?”
“No, he doesn’t want me. Just the food.”
“Ugh. You’re right, men are gross. Maybe you need to get off the apps and go back to trying to find your perfect meet-cute in real life.”
I sighed and slid my phone onto the coffee table. “Maybe I’ll move to a deserted island and swear off men forever. Oliver knew who I was and decided to sleep with me anyway, Sloane.”
“You slept with him?” she all but yelled.
“Yes.”
“And?”
“And what? It was incredible and then I found out he’s a liar. You’re telling me you’d be okay if that happened to you?”
“Probably not. How did he defend himself?”
“I haven’t really let him. He didn’t deny knowing, though. That’s all I needed to hear.”
“You’re probably right.”
Her words, even though they were affirming my decision, made my chest tighten. Maybe I was hoping she would have some magical argument that would make everything better. Her giving up made me know there wasn’t one.
“Why does Rob think you’re trying to steal Kari?”
“Kari must’ve called him to get my cell number when she was asking me about the research trip. I don’t know why else he would think that.”
“You do more for her than Rob ever did and he knows it. That’s why he’s scared.”
“He threatened to sue me.” I nodded toward the contract that was still in a neat stack on the corner of the coffee table.
“He did?”
“So I told him if he did that, I would tell everyone we’d been sleeping together.”
“You were on fire this weekend. I wish I could’ve been there to see his face.”
I laughed a little. “It looked like his head was going to explode.”
“I bet it did.”
I sucked in some air and my eyes went blurry with tears. “I miss him, Sloane.”
“You better not be talking about Rob.”
I shook my head no.
She pulled me into a hug. “I know.”
“When he talked about being cheated on in college, I could tell he was still torn up about it. He had strong feelings for Audrey.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Do you want to watch revenge movies and eat ice cream?”
I nodded. “I’m so lucky to have you. I love you.”
“No need to get all sappy. Let’s get angry instead.”
My second author rejection came a couple days later. Her name was Lauren and she wrote a stunning book about families and their many complexities. There was also a love story that I adored. But once again, Lauren got a better offer.
Maybe it was the fresh rejection or the two hundred bucks I’d spent on a new battery for my car, or maybe it was that I hadn’t heard from Oliver since his apology text giving me permission to ghost him.
Whatever the case, I wasn’t in the right mindset when Cheryl called Wednesday morning.
I had just popped a piece of bread in the toaster and was en route to retrieve the butter from the fridge when my phone vibrated with her name.
“Hello,” I answered.
“Margot, hi. How are you?”
“I’m okay. How are you?”
“I’m good. A little nauseous these days, but for a good cause.”
“For sure.” Thinking about her pregnancy reminded me that my sister hadn’t tried to contact me either.
“So,” Cheryl said. “I know you’re not looking for a job, what with starting your own agency and everything, but if you need something to fill the gap, my company is hiring.”
“Oh.” The word came out as shock. Maybe even offense.
“No. I mean, I have a job. I’m trying. I don’t need…
” I paused as my pride settled and the thought of Rebecca’s text took over, about how long it might be before I started making any money, let alone a livable wage.
I hadn’t heard back from Kari about the videos I’d sent her either and she still hadn’t paid me.
Maybe Rob had threatened her as well. Maybe she was going to ghost me as well.
And maybe I was going to fail miserably at this whole agenting thing.
I was used to having backup plans. It seemed like I always needed them.
“Yes, actually, I could use a temporary job.”
“Great! I’ll send you the info and put in a good word for you. They’re interviewing tomorrow.”
“I’ll be there.”