Chapter 24 #2
Could I see Noah having tea with the local ladies down at Angus’ place, discussing bake sales and coffee mornings? Perhaps not.
“I’m sure he would be delighted to get involved.”
“Good. Then perhaps next month we will get to see Mr Fairweather. You understand there will be a short interview for us all to agree that he would be a suitable candidate to live here at Kilmartin.”
“He will be my husband.” Fucking hell.
“Well, I will be most disappointed if I don’t get an invite to the nuptials. Will you get married locally? Father McSloan does a splendid ceremony.”
“I’m not sure Father McSloan will be too thrilled to marry me and Noah.”
“He married Connie Talisker’s daughter. Lesbian. Lovely girl. Had a proper blessing and all.”
“Oh.” I was not…or… Oh gosh, I needed to talk to Noah.
I needed him back here and most of all? I needed his voice.
His hands on me. My head against his chest, and I needed to…
stop muttering swearwords under my breath and take control.
I was in charge here. And these people were driving me nuts. Enough.
“Noah is a gentle and kind person, and someone who makes me very happy.” Deep breath.
I could do this. “I am very much looking forward to a private ceremony, and he is delighted to become a part of our community. Now. I believe we have the extension to the teacher accommodation block to discuss, as well as the extensive repairs needed to the chicken coop. We have an order of new laptops to approve, as well as Mr Yi’s request for another order of physical textbooks for the library. ”
“Very well.” Mr Faulkner sighed. “And if I may add my congratulations as well.”
“Accepted,” I said sternly. “Now, Ms Blessing, if you wouldn’t mind talking us through the planning permission?”
Emma was laughing under her breath, and I suddenly wanted to remind her that we were not children.
Which we were because now I was laughing too.
“Fox, I can’t believe you’re getting married. When did this happen? And you didn’t tell me?” Emma grinned. Oh for… whatever’s sake.
“Did he propose or did you?” Baronetess Daniels asked. “Do tell, dear, I so enjoy a good bit of gossip.”
Was I doing this? Apparently so.
“He proposed on the phone. Very modern.”
“Oh.” Baronetess or not, she looked most amused. “You youngsters and your technology.”
“And he’s moving in,” Emma stated.
“Well, I want him here, and he’ll need to find a job, and then…”
“You do realise we can arrange for him to move in before you get married, if that’s something that would make things easier for the two of you. The rules can be amended.” I wasn’t even sure who was speaking.
Could they now? My head was swimming. Could we just get back on track here?
“We want you happy,” someone added.
“This place can be rather bleak on your own. I think we can all agree that Mr Riley having a live in companion here, is long overdue.”
“It is,” I agreed. Perhaps it was.
“Moving on.” Mr Faulkner cleared his throat, “We also have the issue of young Bailey Butcher.”
I sighed. Because yes. I was the headmaster. Which clearly didn’t mean anything in front of this board of people who obviously were here to torment me.
“Yes,” I said sternly. “Young Bailey Butcher.”
“He’s asked about legally changing his name to Fairweather. We need to bring that up as well. Is that something we go along with or turn down?”
Here we went. And I picked up the papers in front of me and tapped them against the table top. Put them back down.
“And on that note…” I started.
Well. I might as well finish this chaotic mess I’d started.
“We need to talk,” I said when Noah picked up the phone. Once again we were in bed, and he’d not shaved, and all I wanted to do was reach out and touch his face. Have him hug me.
“We do. I have so many questions.”
“I have so many things I need to ask you too. I’ve made a list.”
“Did Mum text you?”
“She did.” I beamed. I couldn’t help it, because I felt…damn it. I felt so happy I could burst.
“You do realise they have booked into the pub. Three nights, and then they’re doing Loch Lomond and going on some tour.”
“Yup.” I was a bit apprehensive about it all, but…hell. Yes.
“And Mum will have a complete plan for our wedding.”
“Will she now?” I had to laugh.
“I may have…asked for help. She may have…gone overboard.”
“I expected nothing less, Noah. I haven’t got a clue. Do you want a church blessing?”
“Oh God, no. Well. What do you want?”
“I want you and me and some rings, and then I want to go home and fuck you.”
“Sounds like the best wedding ever.”
“Not going to happen, though, because apparently we need to have dinner after and flowers and we need…suits.”
“Okay?”
“Yes.”
“Your mum mentioned… guests. I don’t want any guests. I don’t want to invite people I don’t like to come and sit and make fun of me. Is that okay?”
“Not even… Huw? Simon? You’ve known them the longest, right?”
“Haven’t heard from them since. You would think… I don’t know. I don’t think it matters. I want to feel safe, and happy and I don’t need…”
“Fox, what about your family? You’ve never mentioned them, and I just realised I’ve never asked. I’m so sorry, I feel awful.”
“Nothing to feel sorry about. I don’t tend to… It’s…complicated.”
“Why?”
“It’s, like.” I didn’t want to talk about this. Not now. Not ever. Because it hurts and it was stupid and I just…
“I don’t have any contact. My choice. It’s just…you know?”
“It’s like Bailey said.” His voice was soft. And once again, I wanted to just wail into the phone. “Sometimes we just have to say enough. And choose who we have in our lives.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, grateful he got me. He did. Every bloody time. It was almost like he could read my mind.
“Bailey… Fuck, Noah. He’s me. Totally different story, but he’s me.
And I’m starting to panic here because I realise I have to…
That somehow? I feel obliged to do this.
Take him in and nurture him and raise him and make sure nobody gets to feel like I did.
I hated this school. Absolutely hated it.
I was lonely and scared, and I was weak, and some of the other kids took advantage of that.
Bullying was rife, and I was that kid who hid in the kitchens.
Mrs Cook always looked after me. The housemaster was kind.
But I needed more. I needed support and I needed a family, and I have spent my whole life trying to find exactly that.
And now finally I have you, and I have this kid who says he needs me, but my track record in things like this is not the best, and I’m scared, Noah. I’m fucking scared.”
“I love you,” he said. And all I could do was say it back.