We need to talk

Chapter 27

Noah

The last two hours flew by. Having done this part of the drive once before, I could relax and not have to concentrate so hard on where I was heading.

Home. I was heading home, to my Fox and the kid.

Maybe our…child. A strange little dude whom I barely knew, but I wanted to.

Because he didn’t have anyone, and now he had…

us. And I hadn’t mentioned him to Mum and Dad, but I had a sneaky feeling that if this went well, and we got Bailey…

Mum and Dad would be up here with a moving van in tow before we could even breathe out the word house hunting.

Also? I had a sneaky feeling Dad already was. Far too many links on my phone and an obscene amount of talk of Scottish golf courses.

For the first time in my life? I thought I understood them.

That family was important, and when you belonged to someone, like I belonged to them?

It overtook…everything. And it made me quite emotional, driving along dark country roads, just me and my headlights, because I got it.

I got all the phone calls, and the texts and the worries and the way they had always tried to get me to come along with them for outings and holidays and…

Because we did belong. And life was better when we were together.

That now went for Fox and Bailey too. And I wasn’t going to cry, but I thought I did.

A little sniffle driving through Inverary in the middle of the night.

I spotted the chippy and smiled, knowing it would become somewhere I went.

Where maybe I’d pop Bailey in the car and go pick up a takeaway for tea?

A Sunday treat in the sunshine? Or a winter-pick-me-up wearing heavy coats.

What also hit me, on a steep bend turning up the road towards Kilmartin, was the fact that I worried.

All the time. I worried about Fox, was he sleeping ok?

Was he eating? Was someone making him tea?

Sorting out milk? Had he managed to get proper tea bags?

I was morphing into my mum, and I had to roll down the windows to compose myself because I worried constantly that something would change.

That our fragile little pipedream of having Bailey with us would simply burst. He’d get removed.

His parents would want him back. I didn’t even know where his parents were.

Why he was in care? I was so unprepared, and all the questions were in the air and fuck.

I needed to talk to Fox, and I needed…

They were standing at the gates, holding one gate open each as I rolled around the lane and put my indicators on. Left. And there it was. Fox smiling and Bailey jumping up and down, wearing childish pyjamas.

I knew where to park, got out and unfolded my stiff legs. Stretched my arms in the air and then caught Bailey mid-jump in the middle of the courtyard. I’d started running when he had, and here I was. His arms clamped around my neck and his little legs and me holding on for dear life.

“You’re back,” he said, letting a little giggle slip. “Spare dad.”

“I’m not a spare dad,” I grunted. “I’m going to dad you for that. Behave.”

“What you wanna be called then? I have Dad, and Dad Noah sounds lame.”

“I’ll just be Dad too.” I had to stop myself. What was I going along with here?

“You can’t both be Dad. How will you know which one I need?”

“We’ll figure it out.” I smiled, shoving him up higher onto my hip.

So small. So slight, but he was happy, his whole body vibrating when he laughed.

And here was my Fox, walking straight into my arm.

A half embrace, trying to hold it all together, standing here in the cold, pitch-dark Scottish air and suddenly not having a worry in the world.

“I don’t have a job,” I said. Truth. Start on an honest baseline. “I’ll pay my way, and I’ll help with whatever you need me to.”

“You’re here,” he said. Fox. Face in my neck.

“Well, you need to get married now.”

“Yup.” Fox laughed. “It’s the rules. Bailey has it all planned out.”

“Yes, and we need another chair for the kitchen because there’s only two.”

“Good thinking.” I grinned. “I brought more teacups. We’ll have plenty now.”

“I like tea.” Bailey curled up against my shoulder.

“I do too,” I said. Then Fox took my hand.

“Lock the car. We’ll unpack tomorrow. It’s not like anyone’s going to break in around here.”

“Guess not,” I mumbled.

Damn, I was tired. Exhausted. And Bailey was heavy.

“Come on,” I said. “Let’s get inside, you lot.”

I tucked him in on the sofa, this little boy, who just smiled.

“We’ll have to go for a walk tomorrow, after your classes. Just talk a bit. Would that be okay?”

“Mmm,” he said, and turned over.

Kids. I thought I liked this part. And I was under no illusion that this would be easy, but hey. Maybe it was just this easy. This simple. This nice to just walk into the bedroom and drop my clothes. One after another. I kept my boxers on and sank into the mattress, letting Fox cover me up.

“You’re here,” he whispered.

“I am.”

“And it’s far too late for any shenanigans, and I think we’re both too tired.”

“Yup.” Fuck. I was almost delirious here.

“Tomorrow,” he whispered. “We’ll find some time.”

“I need to talk to you about bills, and paying fees for living here, and food…”

“I’ve got it all…in a pamphlet. We’ll sort it out tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

“And…”

“Yes?”

“Sleep, Noah.”

“I love you.”

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I am.”

“I love you. And…I’m so excited about all this. So…happy. It seems like a dream.”

“It’s not a dream.”

He just laughed. And that was the last thing I remembered.

I woke up far too late in an empty bed, the building buzzing with activity, sounds of doors slamming and voices and a phone ringing.

Making a mental note that taking on night shifts would be complicated and sleeping in the daytime might be challenging around here, I got up.

Showered and put last night’s clothes back on, made myself a hot drink, surprised that the small fridge was properly stocked this time. Then I opened the door to the corridor, planning to sneak out to my car and start unloading, only to find …Ms Blessing standing outside.

“Mr Fairweather,” she said sternly. “I’ve just come to have a word.”

She walked inside, letting the door close behind her.

“Can I get you a drink?” I said, clumsily motioning to my empty teacup. Like the plonker I was.

“God no, I’ve had enough caffeine this morning to last me a lifetime. Taught a Relationships, Sexual Health and Parenthood for our year seven boys earlier, I’m wrung out, and if I have to hear another teenaged child laugh when I say penis?”

“I’m a Doctor of Medicine, Ms Blessing. You can safely say penis around me.”

“Inappropriate, perhaps.” She laughed. “But honestly. Sit with me for a second.”

We sat.

I cringed.

“Fox Riley is a nice man,” she said.

“I know.”

“He’s also had some pretty awful experiences with men in the past. The man has, pardon my words, terrible taste in partners.”

“Yes…” I could follow her train of thought here. “I am aware.”

“Don’t fuck him over, Fairweather. I’m warning you. Just don’t. If your plan is to just fuck him and leave him? I’ll turf you out myself, right now.”

“No such plans, Ms Blessing.”

“Emma. You’re not part of the staff. You’re bloody Mrs Riley now, Fairweather, so get with the programme.

Our board of school governors has requested to meet you tomorrow, and their expectations are high.

You’re needed on the PTA, the fundraising committee, and there is a coffee morning at the Kilmartin Hotel planned for the first of next month. ”

“Oh.”

“Don’t say no. Agree to anything they say. And be pleasant and polite. Baronetess Daniels is not one you want to make an enemy of.”

“I will be on my best behaviour.”

“Also? Bailey Butcher…is now Bailey Fairweather. Go with the flow. Kid’s nuts, but he’s made that decision. We’ll all go along with it for now. Don’t let him down.”

“Okay?” Yes. I’d heard. And…

“I have demands of you, and I will be keeping you on a tight leash until I know your intentions here are in the right place.”

“I have my mother’s handmade wedding invites in the car, and my dad is eyeing up Scottish golf courses, and I haven’t told them about young Bailey yet because it’s all up in the air, but once I do, they will have bought a house in Kilmartin within a week.”

“Sounds…like a lot of pressure.”

I had to laugh. She did too.

“I don’t mind too much. They’re my parents, and…my mother will definitely take charge of the coffee morning, and take Baronette… What was it again?”

“Baronetess Daniels. Three hundred years old and has been on the school board since she was sixteen.”

“Damn.”

“Yes.”

“Also? I need to measure up.” She got up and walked over to the corner of the room.

Pushed at the wall. “This here is a fake panel. We need to remove it and reinstall the door. Behind here is a storeroom, with windows. I am thinking, if we get the board to approve it, get the council on board, we will just make a slight adjustment to the layout, and you could have a second bedroom as part of this accommodation module. I would block off the door to the corridor and simply have the connecting door as the entrance.”

“And that would mean?” I already knew, and the butterflies in my stomach were definitely flapping around. Anticipation. Joy. Absolute joy, mixed with terror. If this was turned down? If everything went wrong? “Do you think we’ll succeed at this? Adopting Bailey?”

“Dude, don’t ask me, I’m just the assistant headteacher.”

“But you know…”

“I’m a single female. I don’t want kids. I’m extremely happy as is, and I get all my fulfilment in life from teaching these boys. My job is my happy place.”

“I see.”

“But I also know these boys. And I see how Fox is with Bailey. And Bailey is exactly what he is, he’s smart and brave and sometimes, yes.

He’s bloody manipulative and scheming and can be foulmouthed when called for, but he knows what he wants.

And I think, perhaps, it’s exactly what he needs.

You just need to get yourself prepared to put some parenting skills in place and not let him ride all over you.

I know Fox will be the soft one here, so that’s what I’m saying.

Grow some balls, Noah Fairweather. Do this right. Because if you don’t?”

“I hear you loud and clear,” I said sternly.

“And in return? Be my ally here. Be my friend. Talk to me, like this, and please, Ms Bless… Emma. Call me the fuck out when I mess up. Please. Because I don’t know what I’m doing.

All I know is that Fox Riley is the best thing that has ever come into my life, and I need to do this. Whatever it takes.”

“He got drunk and broke into your terrace or something.”

“He did.”

“And then you had some kind of drunk…encounter.”

“We weren’t drunk.”

“He was drugged on illegal co-codamol.”

“He told you that?”

She burst out laughing. “Trust me, Noah Fairweather. I’ll be your ally. I’ll call you…” She lowered her voice. “I’ll call you the fuck out on anything I don’t like. Trust me.”

“Oh, I will. And I need all the insider info I can get.”

She banged her fist against the panel. Knocked hard. Nodded her head.

“Top tip? Jones will clamp your car just out of spite. You’ve parked it in the flowerbed, dude. I’d move it before Mr Carruthers gets wind that you’ve killed his heathers.”

“Fuck.”

“No foul language in earshot of the boys. Seriously. Language control at all times.”

“Yes, miss.”

“Don’t fucking call me miss in front of the boys.”

“Yes. Ms Blessing. Emma.”

“Good. You’re a fast learner.”

I nodded.

“Also? The medical practice in Connel has a maternity cover coming up. My sister is a community nurse up there and has kept her eyes and ears open. I would ring them today and just give them…you know. Tell them Louise Blessing sent you.” She winked.

I smiled.

“Now, go move your car before you start off on the wrong foot with everyone. You can park behind the teachers’ accommodation block. The speed limit is like zero. Do not run over the chickens. Seriously.”

“I won’t.”

I followed her out, car keys in my hand, only to be greeted with, “Mr Fairweather!” by a bunch of passing boys. And a handshake from someone who introduced himself as the head of Geography.

Names. I had to learn all these names. Also? My shoddy tracksuit was out of place, and I was, for once, grateful that I owned a large assortment of dreary suits. Matching ties. Shirts. I needed to get changed and fit in. That was clear.

I carried in my loads, one after the other.

Carefully placing the colourful vase in the bay window.

It looked amazing, the light through the crackled windowpanes almost giving it a magical glow.

Like it was made to sit in that window. It had never been made to hide in a cupboard.

Like me. I felt like I was finally coming to life. Being who I was meant to be.

Me. Noah Fairweather. Fox Riley’s man. Maybe even…Bailey’s…something.

And here was Fox, silently flowing into the room in his robes, a smile on his face.

“You alright, Mr Fairweather?”

“Absolutely, Headmaster Riley,” I quipped. “My favourite vase. Is it alright there?”

“It looks great. I love it.”

Then he kissed me. Right there in the middle of the room.

“Welcome home,” he whispered.

And all I could do was smile.