Thirty-seven
THIRTY-SEVEN
Bea
W e got stuck in the emergency room all night long. Tag insisted on staying with me, waiting for the scans and test results. I could tell hospitals made him nervous, but he stuck by me. I was so thankful because, until the meds really kicked in, I could barely lift my head.
The nurse gave me a sponge bath. I was so dizzy, I’d made a mess of myself when I threw up. Even after the bath, my hair still felt matted and disgusting. I absolutely hated Tag seeing me like this. I couldn’t wait for a shower, which according to the doctor, I wasn’t allowed to take unless someone was there to help me.
At 2 p.m., we had been in the emergency room for over twelve hours and were so ready to leave.
Waiting for discharge, my family group chat blew up.
Peter
Hey Bea, I just talked to mom. Can we get the details on what happened? Mom didn’t tell me much. She was stressing trying to get her shift covered.
Estelle
Get her shift covered? What’s going on?
Peter
Bea has a concussion.
Estelle
Oh no! What happened?! Poor thing!
Peter
Idk. No one is telling me anything. I’m getting pissed.
Hollie
Is she still in Texas?
Ben
My gosh, Holls, do you live on another planet?
Estelle
If she was home, you would know. We’ve been waiting eighty years for her to come home.
Peter
Mom? Bea? Helloooooo?
Hollie
Mom didn’t answer my call.
Estelle
Or mine.
Estelle
Bea’s not picking up either.
Me
I’m here. Sorry I’m at the hospital.
Peter
Please fill us in.
I tapped record and set the phone on my chest.
“Okay, hey guys. First of all, I’m fine. I got a bump on the head at the ranch. No one’s fault—a spooked horse knocked into me. I ended up in the hospital because I didn’t realize I had a concussion and took a Benadryl before bed last night because I was a little restless and couldn't fall asleep. Apparently, sleeping meds plus concussion is a bad mix. I woke up in the night, throwing up, and super dizzy. The owner at the ranch took me to the ER. They did some scans. I don’t have any bleeding or head trauma. I didn’t lose consciousness so the doctor doesn’t feel like I need to stay overnight. So, that’s good news. Mom is trying to come because I need someone to look out for me for a few days. I can’t drive, need help showering, things like that. Overall, I shouldn’t really be alone and I need to take it easy. The doctor advised against traveling home in a couple days as I had planned. I’m still pretty dizzy and the risk right now is falling again. I’m going to be fine after the dizziness wears off completely. The meds they gave me are helping with that. After we get discharge instructions, we should be able to get out of here.”
The thread stacked with keep notifications as every person in my family listened to the message.
Estelle
I’m so sorry, Bea! How dramatic!
Hollie
Can anyone else go if Mom can’t move her schedule?
Mom
I’ll quit my job.
Peter
Mom! There you are!
Estelle
Send Ben.
Me
Don’t you dare quit your job. I’m not dying.
I beg of you. Do not send Ben.
Ben
Rude.
Mom
I don’t know what to do! Hollie, can Garret watch the girls so you can go help Bea?
Hollie
I seriously doubt he’d agree to do that, but I’ll ask.
Mom
Even for an emergency?
Hollie
I’m texting him now.
Peter
I could come down…but if Bea needs help in the shower…? If no one is available, I could ask Sarah to help and we could both come. Where’s Jackie?
As if summoned by the mere mention of her name, a text from Jackie came in.
Jackie
I VOLUNTEER. Everyone can calm down! I’ve got this. I’m booking my ticket now. And for heaven’s sake, Mom, have a glass of wine. She’s not dead.
Mom
She needs her mother.
Hollie
I agree. Jackie isn’t compassionate.
Jackie
Pish posh. She doesn’t need compassion. She needs someone to drive her and make sure she doesn’t bust her head in the shower.
Jackie
San Antonio, right sis?
Me
Yeah. Thanks Jackie.
Jackie
I’m gonna VM you.
My phone continued to ding as the group chat went on and on. Even Dad chimed in and he hated our group texts.
Finally, a voice message from Jackie came in .
I glanced at Tag. He was leaning back in the chair next to the bed, his head propped against the wall. His eyes had been closed for over twenty minutes. Maybe he was sleeping. I hoped he was. Despite getting only a couple hours of sleep, he still looked so good . His hat was on the foot of the bed, his fists were folded under his arms, making his muscles bulge. His red t-shirt was taut, accentuating the form of his collarbone and shoulders. And his jean-clad legs were spread, comfortable and relaxed. I couldn’t look at him too long without getting wild ideas that made me feel uncomfortably hot.
I felt awful keeping him away from his horses. I commanded him to go back to the ranch and just pick me up later when they discharged me, but he refused to leave me alone, insisting Cooper had it under control.
Tag spoke on the phone with Cooper at about 6:30 a.m., telling him exactly what to do. The barest of bare essentials. Jesse was due in before lunch. Tag called him, too.
Cooper was overwhelmed with the feeding. Tag got fifteen calls from him by 8 a.m.
Sleep deprived and drugged up on anti-nausea and anti-dizzy medications, I was exhausted. Holding my phone up to my ear in order to hear Jackie’s message felt like a lot of work, and I sure as heck wasn’t going to wake Tag up and ask him to help. So I opted for turning the phone volume down a bit and setting it back on my chest to listen.
“Hey, sister. I almost broke my neck running to Google flights. The good news is I already got a flight booked. The bad news is it’s not until tomorrow? I’m set to land in San Antonio around ten o’clock in the morning. That’s the earliest I could find. Is there someone at the ranch who could pick me up? I don’t really want to shell out the cash for a rental. I hate to sound like a jerk, but I’m happy this happened to you. Want to know why? I FINALLY GET TO SEE THAT SEXY COWBOY!!”
I seized, my body jerking upward and my hands flying to the phone.
“—that you have outright refused to sneak a picture of ? —“
To my horror—my gut-twisting horror—my panicked hands did not grip the phone but knocked it off my chest. In slow motion, I watched it slide down the white blanket, and slip beneath the railing, clattering to the floor like a stick of dynamite.
I laid there, helpless, squeezing my eyes against Jackie’s slew of words. Gosh, so many words. I couldn’t look at Tag. That phone drop probably woke the dead.
“I’ll do whatever I have to do to finally lay eyes on his” —her naturally low, raspy voice lifted, mimicking my higher voice register with caked-on drama— “gorgeous hair you want to plow your fingers through, his ripped and tan body covered in mud, and his piercing gray eyes that see right through you. If I gotta shell out a few hundred to see how he fills out a pair of work jeans? Then a few hundred it is. Okay, anyway! I got a lot to do before I leave. Love you! Give Tag a kiss for me.”
The silence was deafening.
I was going to kill her.
My chest heaved as humiliation gripped my throat. I’d never been more embarrassed in my entire life. The mud didn’t hold a candle to this. How stupid could I be playing her message out loud? Of course Jackie would say something vulgar. She always did!
I fought conflicting urges to burst into tears or laugh until my sides ached. I covered my face with my hands.
It was crystal clear. She was parroting exactly what I’d told her about Tag. And he would know. Because why would she have said that if I didn’t say it myself?
Even though it was impossible—literally outside the realm of what could be—I prayed that Tag was still sleeping.
And then I heard him.
A stifled laugh. A shifting foot.
My need to know if he heard trumped my need to hide. I peeked out from my hands to see Tag’s face.
His posture hadn’t changed. He was still head back, arms crossed, legs relaxed. But his eyes were wide open, staring at the ceiling, lips pressed into a strained line.
His shoulders quietly shook.
We didn’t say a thing for agonizing seconds. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t move.
Samuel Taggart now knew I wanted to touch his hair? That I not only noticed how his jeans looked, but talked about it? It would’ve been bad enough without the jeans comment! Why did I tell her that?
I begged something in the universe—anything out there—to come end me. End me right now. I didn’t deserve life.
His laughter grew until he swiped a hand over his face, covering his mouth.
I whispered, shame creeping up my neck and into my face. “I’m so so sorry.”
He cleared his throat.
“I may have told…” I took a deep, steadying breath as heat melted my face off. “I may have told her you were cute.”
He made a quiet hmm sound.
I glanced over to find playful eyes studying me. His chest pulsed with a laugh before he said, “She got all that from the word cute ?”
I covered my face again. “Please kill me.”
Tag lost it.
He laughed, heartily, too heartily, at me. Tossing his head forward and putting his hands on his chest, he gasped for breath. “You’re so—so—red.”
“Of course I’m freaking red! I want to kill her!”
Tears leaked onto my cheeks as my face contorted into something between a grimace and a smile.
After what seemed like my entire life, he finally stooped down and picked my phone up off the floor, putting it next to me on the bed.
His voice softened even as he laughed out the words. “Bea, don’t cry.”
“I can’t help it. I’ve never been more humiliated in my entire life.”
“It’s alright. It’s all good.”
“I’m so sorry you had to hear that.” I picked up my phone and held it to my lips. “Hey Siri, look up a list of inhumane ways to murder someone.”
Tag lost it all over again. Leaning forward in his chair, he propped up his head with an open hand, his laugh turning into a desperate squeaking sound that made it into the top five cutest sounds I’d ever heard.
I laughed too. Might as well.
As I wiped laughter tears out of my eyes, a nursing assistant came in. “Hey, sweetheart, you ready to get out of here?”
“Yes, very ready.”
Please for the love of all things get me out of here.
“I got your prescription sent in and your discharge papers.”
Tag stood. “I’ll pull the truck around.”
“Great.” I said flatly, which made him giggle all over again.
When the nurse turned away to look at the computer, he leaned over me on the bed and whispered. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve had a few thoughts about your jeans, too.”
His cheeks lifted in a smile. Then his gaze flicked to my mouth, and he winked at me.
Winked at me.
I blushed all over again.
“I promise I can walk.” I unbuckled my seat belt and tucked the stupid hospital gown back up around my shoulders. The nurse in the emergency room let me wear it home since my pajama shirt was covered in puke.
“I heard the doctor same as you.” He leaned in and scooped me up.
“Then you know he said I can move when I feel up to it.”
“I’m not takin’ any chances, Bea.”
I dropped the fight pretty quickly, relishing in his strength and ease as he kicked the truck door shut.
Jesse and Cade saw us pulling in, and were making their way across the barnyard. Jesse yelled, “Tag!”
Tag turned to look at him with me draped in his arms like a wounded princess. “Jesse, good to have you back, man.”
“Glad to be back. You two look exhausted.”
I piped up. “Tag didn’t sleep at all.”
Jesse said, “Get some rest. Cooper, Cade, and I have it under control.”
I looked up at Tag’s adam’s apple as he spoke. “Really? ”
“Yeah, Cooper has done pretty good today. Been an honest to goodness help.”
“That’s…unexpected.” Tag took a step toward the porch. “Let me get her situated, and I’ll come out.”
“Don’t. Seriously, we got it. Some of the horses didn’t get worked out, but it’s too late to start the riding schedule today anyway. We’ll double down tomorrow.”
“You sure?” Tag sounded skeptical.
“Yes. You look like the walking dead. Go sleep.”
Tag huffed a breath of relief. “Thank you.”
Once inside, he set me on a kitchen bar stool and gave me a once over. “You hungry?”
“Not really. I don’t think I can eat right now.”
“You feel nauseous still?”
I shook my head. “No, the Zofran is working. I…” I looked away, honestly embarrassed to admit how disgusting I felt.
He reached a hand forward, leaning against the kitchen counter next to me. “What’s wrong?”
“I just smell disgusting. I wish Jackie was coming here tonight.”
“Oh. Because you want a shower. Makes sense.”
“Showering is one thing the doctor specifically warned me to be careful about.”
“You definitely can’t take one without help.” Tag rubbed a hand over the back of neck, squinting in thought. “Want me to call Penny? She…might help.”
“What?” How was that even an option? “Ew. No.”
“Just brainstormin’. Is it mainly your hair?”
“Mostly.”
He squinted in thought, clicking his tongue. “I got an idea. Hang tight.” Leaving me in the kitchen, he came back with a pile of towels, my shampoo and conditioner, one of his soft t-shirts, and a blanket. The huge kitchen had countertops lining every wall. A long space of counter lead away from the sink. He flattened several towels out there and twisted one into a tight roll.
He turned toward me. “If you lay here, I can wash your hair in the sink. ”
“Tag, you don’t have to do that.” I protested, but he was already scooping me up yet again.
Ignoring my protest he set me on the towels.
“Tag.”
“Shh. Just lay down.”
He slipped his hands around me, cradling my head and spine as I eased backward. His gentle hands adjusted me right up to the edge, stuck the rolled towel under my neck, and lifted my hair into the sink.
He draped a towel over my chest and lightly tugged at the gown, freeing my arms. I wanted to cry with gratefulness as he lifted each arm over my head and sprayed them with warm water from the nozzle. He soaped and rinsed my arms, shoulders, and neck. Silently, I watched from below, mesmerized by his long, curled eyelashes and the focused line in his brow.
Eventually, my eyes fluttered closed.
He moved to my hair, running the very warm water against my scalp. I gave a quiet moan of relief.
“Too hot?”
“No. It feels so good.” Only after I spoke did I realize how sexual and husky my response was, but gosh, I couldn’t help it. It did feel so good. I lifted my tone. “Have you done this before? You’re really good at it.”
“I used to work in cosmetics.”
We both laughed.
Soon, the scent of my honey almond shampoo filled the air. Tag took all the time in the world, lazily running his fingers through and scraping them against my scalp. He didn’t speak. Just worked. Just took care of me without uttering a word.
Fighting gravity, I pulled my eyes open to find Tag looking down at me, his right forearm only inches from my face as he massaged my conditioner in. I reached up and touched his arm. He smiled. “I thought you were asleep there for a minute.”
“Almost.” I whispered.
A few minutes later, he clicked the water off and wrung out my hair. He wrapped a towel around my head and squeezed. When my eyes opened, I found him smiling down at me again. “You have beautiful hair, Bea.”
My heart lurched. “Thank you.”
“And this.” He let go of the towel and brushed his finger under my bare collarbone. “You have a dark freckle right there.”
“I’ve always had that.”
“Well”—he huffed—“I can’t stop lookin’ at it.”
I smiled and closed my eyes, startling when he gently poked me in the shoulder. “You have one here, too.”
Warmth stirred in me until my breath grew shaky. Tag had been studying me. The knowledge was heady and caused chills to race down my arms. Seeing them, Tag gave a soft chuckle. He rubbed his hand over my goosebumps following them to the inside of my right wrist. His voice was a gentle rasp as he fingered another one of my prominent freckles. “And here.”
I looked up and into his gray eyes as his hand came up to caress my face. “But this one”—his thumb swept over the edge of my bottom lip—“is my favorite.” Tag gazed at my mouth now, or maybe at the freckle right below. I didn’t know which, but the heated look in his eyes was enrapturing. I couldn’t look away. My gaze sought his mouth too.
Before I knew why I was offering unneeded information, I opened my big mouth. “I have more.”
His gaze lazily rose to my eyes. “Where?”
Heat rushed into my face. “I can’t show you.”
His brows lifted in surprise.
I need to shut my huge mouth.
Jackie would have a cow if she heard me. I wasn’t nearly as slick as her in conversation. Moments like this brought out my awkward side.
Breathily, I added, “You need V.I.P. access.”
His jaw ticked as he held back a smile. He squinted playfully, but his eyes were so tender and loving toward me that I wanted to burst into tears. “Tease me, why don’t ya.”
Our laughter was awkward, reined-in. But neither one of us could stop smiling.
Pretty soon, I was wrapped in Tag’s t-shirt and a blanket and tucked onto an outdated couch in the living room—a room I’d only been in one time. Tag brushed my hair, showered, started my laundry, made sandwiches, and we quietly nibbled on an early dinner together.
Despite the unfortunate turn of events, my heart was so full.