CHAPTER FOURTEEN #2
The emperor’s lips curve, and it hits me then.
He’s going to make an example out of me. My death will be a warning to the others.
His hand begins to turn down, and I catch movement behind the emperor’s shoulder.
Rorrik steps forward, his eyes on me as he whispers something in the emperor’s ear.
The entire arena seems to hold its breath. I don’t look at Tiernon. For some reason, I can’t bear to see the look on his face when he learns I’m about to die.
The emperor’s thumb turns up.
I don’t know why, but Rorrik just made sure I was spared.
At least for now.
I MUST HAVE passed out, because when I open my eyes, strong arms are hoisting me up.
“What—”
Tiernon lifts me higher. The movement is careful, but I have to sink my teeth into my bottom lip to suppress a yelp.
“You’re out of the arena,” he says. “The enforcer dragged you out by your arm.”
The same way Leira’s dead body was dragged away just days ago. My head spins.
“Where are the healers?”
“I’m taking you,” he says testily. “What were you thinking out there?”
“Shouldn’t you be guarding the emperor?”
He ignores that. “You shouldn’t even be here. But since you are, you have one job: keep your head down and don’t draw any attention. Instead, you seem committed to making enemies wherever you go.”
I don’t tell him about Antigrus asking me for mercy. As far as I’m concerned, Tiernon lost the right to any answers the day he left me.
But I deserve answers.
“Why did Rorrik stop the emperor from having me killed?”
Tiernon grimaces. “I don’t know. He was careful to keep his voice quiet so I couldn’t hear what he said. Why don’t you tell me why Rorrik might have taken an interest in you?”
“Once again, my life has nothing to do with you.”
“If only that were true. I’ve been invested in your life since the day we met.”
“Put me down.”
“I can’t,” Tiernon says. “Your bone is currently pushed through your skin.”
Tiny dots appear in front of my eyes at the thought. I’ve been refusing to look at my ankle, as if that will make it hurt less.
“The others—”
“I’m using my power to hide the injury. No one can see how bad it is.”
He walks past the door leading to the healers’ quarters beneath the arena and I stiffen. “Where are you taking me?”
“We have our own healers’ quarters within the imperius’s quarters,” Tiernon rumbles. “Axia will meet us there.”
Tears suddenly prick my eyes. He knows I trust Axia, so he arranged for her to be the one to heal me somewhere private, away from the other gladians. It’s the kind of thing he used to do without thinking—instinctively protecting me any way he could.
I focus on the pain in my ankle instead of the pain in my heart, ruthlessly squashing the part of me that wants to savor the sight of him being the Tiernon I knew, and not the Primus who is a stranger to me.
Since the agony has turned unrelenting, and I’ve begun breathing raggedly, the distraction is more than sufficient.
Tiernon carries me through the long tunnel to the ludus and past the gladians’ barracks to an unassuming door, which he pushes open.
The room is large and rectangular—at least twice the size of the gladians’ common room.
The walls are a pale blue, which perfectly complement four priceless Myrestornian rugs.
Tiernon walks past plush armchairs and overstuffed sofas, which have been carefully arranged to encircle walnut coffee tables.
The tables hold vases of fresh flowers, and I take a deep inhale, sucking the floral scent into my lungs.
He opens another door, and a hall stretches out in front of us. I begin counting rooms as we continue to walk toward the end of the hall. When I lose count after ten or twelve doors, my head thumps back against Tiernon’s shoulder.
His lips twitch. “I’ll give you a tour another time.” When he pushes open the next door, Axia gets to her feet.
“What hurts?”
My heart, my pride, my soul. “My ankle.”
Tiernon waves a hand, removing his power. Axia sucks in a sharp breath.
It’s never a good sign when the healers are horrified. My eyes stray toward my ankle and I force myself to stare at the wall instead.
Axia clears her throat. “This time, you’ve done significantly more damage.” Her words sound like an accusation.
“What are my options?”
“There are no options. This break will be mended, but the original bone also needs to be rebroken and healed in the right place. You can petition the emperor and ask to be given a separate challenge once you’ve healed.”
I snort. “He won’t allow it.” Bitter frustration wells up. I’ve got no choice but to limp back into the arena for the third challenge.
The healer clears her throat. “There is one way you can skip the worst of the healing.”
I push myself higher in the bed. “I’ll do it.”
She glances at Tiernon. When his eyes meet mine, understanding hits me.
“Absolutely not.”
“Don’t be an idiot,” Tiernon snaps. His face is bone white, his eyes dark, and I know he’s fighting his own hunger at the scent of my blood. But if there’s one thing Tiernon has, it’s self-control. “You take my blood or you die. And even your pride has limits.”
It does. I don’t want to die.
I’m not sure exactly which god hates me. Perhaps it’s all of them. There can be no other explanation for this.
“I’ll send you to sleep for the healing,” Tiernon says.
My mind immediately throws me back to all the times Tiernon snuck into my bedroom when my mother was nowhere to be found. When I was responsible for Gerith and Evren, and the constant worrying and planning would make it impossible to rest. Some nights, I’d beg him for sleep.
After Kassia died, there were many nights when I would have given anything for the relief of unconsciousness.
It’s a minor power for vampires. But dangerous for sigilmarked and mundanes. Powerful sigilmarked can block the effects, but I’ll never be able to.
“No,” Axia says.
“What do you mean no?” Tiernon demands.
She gives him an apologetic look. “Your power will interfere with my own. I can send Arvelle to sleep myself, but I have been healing gladians all morning, so I need to reserve my power for her injury. It will take everything I have to ensure it heals correctly.” She reaches for a pain tonic and hands it to me.
“This will help with the worst of the pain. But it will be agonizing.”
Nerves rattle through my stomach, but I drink the tonic. The sooner I do this, the sooner it’s over.
“Get another healer in here to send her to sleep,” Tiernon demands.
“No,” I say.
It’s bad enough that Axia knows my vulnerabilities, and I trust her to keep them quiet. I don’t need any other healers learning about my ankle or speculating about my past with the Primus.
“Just get this over with,” I mutter.
“No.” Tiernon holds up his hand as Axia leans toward my ankle. She goes still.
“Yes,” I say. The pain is unrelenting now, and Tiernon leans over, staring into my eyes.
“Stubborn woman.”
When I don’t reply, he takes my hand. I’m scared enough to clutch at it. This is going to hurt.
CRACK!
Pain explodes through me, a scream wrenched from my lungs. I cut it off, devolving into pained whimpers. I was an idiot. I take it all back. Someone needs to put me to sleep. Now.
“Shhh. It’ll be over soon.”
I hate that I can’t seem to stop the tiny suppressed screams from leaving my throat. Hate that even now, it feels natural to let Tiernon see my pain, when I would want to gut anyone else who was in the room.
Axia begins chanting, and whatever she does takes the edge off the worst of the pain.
Tiernon continues murmuring into my ear. “Most of the imperius watched your challenge. Neris said your instincts are some of the best she’s seen. Of course she also said walking around with an ankle injury showcased extreme stupidity.”
I let out another whine, and the scent of copper fills the room as Tiernon tears open his wrist. He never handled it well when I was in pain.
Axia clears her throat. “Not yet, Primus. If she heals now, this will need to be done again. I need to shift the bones into place.” Her voice lowers. “It’s not too late to—”
I open my eyes long enough to shoot her a glare. The room is spinning and I slump back, allowing Tiernon to take my weight. “Just do it.”
Tiernon’s face is an unreadable mask. But he allows the wounds in his wrist to heal.
Axia does something that makes me scream again and I sink my teeth into my lower lip.
“Almost done,” Tiernon soothes. My gaze meets his, and he cups my cheek. “You’re being so brave.”
I let out a shaky laugh that sounds more like a sob. I’ve never felt less brave.
“You are,” he insists. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”
The reminder of that day makes me stiffen, and I turn my face away. I can’t afford to forget the way he left me. The way I pined for him day after day. The way life grew bleak and colorless and stayed that way for six years.
Tiernon lets out a hum and brushes a strand of my hair from my damp forehead. And despite myself, I lean into his touch.
Axia maneuvers my foot and I cry out again, close to begging now.
“End this,” Tiernon orders, his eyes filled with frustration.
“Almost finished, Primus.”
But she’s not almost finished. The pain goes on and on, until I’m sure she’s secretly a sadist. Finally, when I’m opening my mouth to beg for another healer to send me to sleep, she clears her throat.
“The bone is set in place. It is time.”
“Good. Thank you.”
I open my eyes, blinking tears from my lashes. Tiernon’s tone is harsh, his expectation clear.
With a bow, Axia backs out of the room. She looks pale and drawn. Exhausted. Healing me has drained her.
“Thank you,” I choke out.
“You’re welcome.” With a smile, she closes the door behind her.
“Drink,” Tiernon demands. “Now.” His expression is hard, his face white. I can see his pulse pounding in his temple.
I’d like to be able to say I play hard to get. Or even that I protest. Instead, I wrap my hands around his forearm and allow him to press his wrist to my mouth.
My body is instantly engulfed in a warm cocoon.