CHAPTER FIFTEEN #4
Leon is muttering something. It sounds like another language. He’s praying to his goddess. But even she can’t control death.
“Arvelle.”
Gerith is suddenly standing next to me, tears running down his face as he stares at Kas. “No, no, no.”
My mind can’t make sense of him being here, so I turn my attention back to Kas. Some part of me still expects her to open her eyes.
“Velle. Velle, it’s important. Velle!”
Crack!
My cheek is suddenly hot with pain. I stare at Gerith, and he swings again, slapping me on the other side of my face. His lower lip is trembling. How did he get here? I took them home. Where …
“We were at the mine.”
My gaze shoots to the smoke in the distance, and some of the fog lifts from my head.
“No.”
“Evren was close to the entrance of the mine. Closer than me.”
Tiernon closes his eyes. “Gods. Velle—”
“I’m not done,” I hiss, my voice trembling. I’ve imagined this moment so many times. Imagined telling him exactly what happened the day he left. The ruin my life became.
“Evren almost died. His lungs were severely damaged. But he was alive, and we were going north anyway, as soon as he was stable enough to travel. I was taking him to the healers in Nesonias.”
“But you didn’t go.”
“No. My mother stupidly told her brother I’d won.
He broke into my room and took my winnings while I was at the healers with Evren.
Three days later, our mother took her own life.
Her note said she couldn’t live with what she’d done.
Allowing Evren to be so badly hurt, and then watching her brother take my winnings … it was too much for her.”
“So you’ve been alone all this time.”
“I’m not alone. I have Evren and Gerith.”
His mouth thins, but he gives me a sharp nod. “Tell me how you ended up here.”
I open my mouth and my throat tightens, that spot on my neck burning with searing pain. I can’t tell him I’m here to kill the emperor. My deal with Bran prevents me from speaking of it.
“A vampire bond.” Tiernon’s gaze drops to my neck and he gets to his feet with a rough curse. “You know better than this.”
“You can see it?”
“Only vampires can see it, and only when it flares. I should have paid more attention, maybe I would have noticed it sooner.”
When I don’t reply, he takes a step closer. “Where are your brothers, Arvelle?”
I strain but the words won’t come out, and the pain turns sharp enough to make my eyes burn.
He crouches in front of me, taking my hands. “Someone took them then. You don’t need to tell me who. Just tell me where they are.”
“Nesonias.” The word is a relief.
“Because Evren needs to be healed.”
My brother’s face flashes before my eyes, purple and straining for air. “I didn’t have a choice.”
“You do now. I’m getting you out of here. Tonight.”
My heart leaps, but I shake my head. “You can’t.”
His large hands squeeze mine. “I can and I will. I’ll have your brothers found, and I’ll make sure Evren is healed myself.”
Behind him, the sun is low in the sky, and for the first time in days, hope shimmers through me. My vow with Bran stipulates that I have to kill the emperor after I win my third challenge—the ultimus conquestus.
But if I never complete that challenge …
Perhaps I never have to kill the emperor.
Tiernon is still looking at me. “I don’t think you understand how dangerous Rorrik is. The fact that you can mindpath is a curiosity at the very least, a potential death sentence at worst. The moment he learned what you can do, he became a threat to your very existence.”
I chew on my lower lip, the full weight of this new power hitting me. “It’s that rare?”
He gives a sharp nod. “And the last thing you need is more of the emperor’s attention.”
Wiggling my hands free, I get to my feet. “We can’t risk Elva learning I’ve left the ludus while she still has my brothers. They need to escape as soon as they can. I’ll take my mirror with me and warn them in the morning.”
My brothers are smart, and I know they’ll have been looking for a way out. By now, Elva has likely been lulled into a false sense of security. It’s dangerous, but it’s also our best option.
Tiernon watches me, his eyes dark. When I nod my agreement, some of the tension drains from his face.
Being with him like this—away from the others—it’s stirring up all kinds of old memories.
Memories of the gentle way he touched me.
The way he would help me down from the branches of our oak, his hands tightening for a long moment before he released me.
The way he scowled at Carrick, and any other boys who stole my attention for too long.
As we grew older, my once-casual touches made his cheeks flush. And when he stroked my hair back from my face, my heart would skip a beat. Without fail, his gaze would drop to my mouth, where it lingered.
The tension soaked into all our interactions, even as I told myself that thing we wanted to happen—that thing we were both craving—could never happen.
Until the day it did.
Tiernon pulls me close. Do those memories haunt him the way they haunt me? Is he thinking about our past right now?
His nose nuzzles mine, and I breathe in his masculine scent. Slowly, gently, his thumb strokes my cheekbone, and he brushes his lips against mine in a silent request.
I sigh, my limbs turning languid. Tiernon doesn’t hesitate, deepening our kiss until our mouths fit perfectly together, the way they always have. My heart tumbles, and I bury my hands in his tunic, yanking him closer. It’s been so, so long.
I flick my tongue between his fangs, which have descended enough to make this kiss dangerous.
The sting across my tongue makes me gasp, the pain sharp and fleeting.
Kissing a vampire takes a certain level of skill, and I’m out of practice.
Tiernon’s tongue strokes mine, closing the tiny wound instantly, and I shiver with pure want.
He lets out a rough sound, his hands pulling me even closer.
My core clenches. Gods, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed him.
His kiss becomes tender, his sigh filled with longing. When he lifts his head, his eyes are filled with such a deep, raw sadness, I cup his cheek. He attempts a smile, his hand taking mine.
“We need to go.”
I can’t reply around the lump in my throat. So I nod, allowing him to lead me back to my room, where I grab my satchel, weapons, coin purse, and mirror.
Trailing after Tiernon, I watch avidly as he strides to one of the other bedrooms within his quarters, where he leans his body against a crack in the wall. The wall slowly swings open, and I raise my eyebrow.
“Do you know Jorah?”
Releasing my hand, he gestures for me to enter the dark corridor. “Who is Jorah?”
I study his expression, but he has tucked away any hint of the man who just touched me with so much care. “Never mind.”
Awkward silence descends as we walk down the long corridor. At least it’s awkward for me. I don’t know how he feels about everything I just told him. I don’t want to know.
Liar.
I push that little voice away and move faster.
It’s eerily silent, with few aether lamps to guide the way.
This corridor is unerringly narrow, forcing us to turn sideways in places to squeeze through.
The walls are lined with old, dry stone that’s cracked in places, and I swear I can hear the faint sound of whispering voices.
If I was alone, I would be crawling out of my skin. Tiernon’s looming presence helps calm the worst of my nerves. If anything attacks, I’ll leave him to it and run like hell.
That kiss … I know what that kiss was.
It was a goodbye. Bitterness coats my mouth. At least this time, I know the goodbye is coming. At least it won’t be a shock, an ache that never leaves me. At least I won’t delude myself into imagining it’s just temporary, and that I’ll see him again.
Perhaps, a few times a year, Tiernon will relive that kiss and think of me. But he’ll still move on, with his friends and his life and his role as Primus for the same emperor responsible for so much agony for so many people.
Telling him everything that happened to me has made me relive those dark days. And reliving them has relit the fires of my rage.
Silence stretches between us.
We used to spend hours in silence. Content silence. Comfortable silence. The kind of silence two people have when they don’t need to share their thoughts, because the other person knows them down to the bone.
At least I’d thought we had that.
“I didn’t want to leave you,” Tiernon says as he stops suddenly a few steps in front of me.
I let his words hang in the air for a long moment. “Then why did you?”
No reply.
My laugh is saturated with hurt. “Forget it.”
He makes a rough, impatient sound, and I’m suddenly sure this is it. He’s going to apologize. Tell me why he left. Give me something.
Instead, he sighs, stepping forward into the dim light and pressing some hidden contraption within the wall.
Disappointment wars with fury. I lean into the fury, stalking past him and out into cool, crisp air so soon after sunset.
The chill feels good against my flushed, overheated skin. I gulp it into my lungs and turn, avoiding Tiernon’s eyes as he leads me onto the street.
The world feels suddenly too big, after so long within either the ludus or the arena. Even when we traveled to the imperial palace, we used underground tunnels.
Unlike the Thorn, there are no insulae here in this part of the city. The wealthy would never dream of living in apartments, and I can’t help but gawk as we walk past sprawling estates, large domus, and gated villas.
That’s what wealth truly gives you. Space.
“Are these the emperor’s houses?” I ask.
Tiernon shakes his head. “They’re mostly owned by the Vampire Council and Sigilmarked Syndicate and their relatives.”
“It’s so quiet around here.” That’s another thing wealth gives you. Peace.
“We’re lucky. Many of the guards who usually patrol this area were called to the assembly. Tiberius Cotta is trying to sway the sigilkeepers to vote for his reforms.”