CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE #2
“You were scared your father was going to learn you were with a sigilmarked. And not just any sigilmarked. A deficient sigilmarked from the Thorn. What would he have done to me, Tiernon? How would he have punished you?”
His face drains of color. “He would have ordered you to be turned. He would have made me do it—or made me watch while Rorrik did it. If we were lucky, you would die immediately. If we weren’t, you would spend days slowly dying, screaming in pain, begging for someone to end you.
And I would have lived the rest of my life knowing it was my fault. ”
“Why?” My voice cracks. “Why leave me without any warning? Why not tell me?”
His eyes are dark and wounded. “Because I know you. And you wouldn’t have let me go. You would have fought for us for the rest of your life. You would have held out hope—useless hope—and likely would have gotten yourself killed trying to defy my father.”
“So you made me hate you.”
A sharp nod. “It wouldn’t have worked if part of you didn’t already expect it.
You thought I’d leave because you expect everyone to leave.
I bet some part of you was relieved to learn I was gone.
You could stop waiting for me to abandon you like everyone else did.
You could point to my disappearance as proof that you were right to wait so many years to give me a chance. ”
I don’t speak. I can’t. It hurts to breathe. I need to get out of here, so I can lick my wounds in private. So I can sew up the scars his words have opened.
No.
I won’t run.
I can tell by the stiff way Tiernon’s holding himself that leaving is exactly what he expects me to do.
“You know the saddest part of all this?” His smile is so bleak, my eyes burn. “It’s the lack of faith you had in me. I relied on that lack of faith, even as part of me raged at you for it.”
I swallow around the lump in my throat. “Wh-what do you mean?”
He takes a step closer. “How could you possibly think I could just walk away and forget you? How could your unhinged, deluded mind ever come to that conclusion?”
My eyes burn even more, and he grips my upper arms, pulling me close.
“I was obsessed with you for years before I left. I used to sneak into your room just to watch you breathe. I waited, each day agony as I begged the gods for you to finally admit we were meant to be together.”
My heart is cracking open at his words. “And then we were together. Until your father found out. Tell me,” I whisper hoarsely. “Tell me everything.”
He releases me, stepping away. And my skin is instantly cold in the absence of his touch.
“For years, my father paid me little attention, busy molding Rorrik into the perfect heir.”
I remember. I remember Tiernon’s hurt when he was younger, and his relief as he grew up. I may not have known who his father was, but I’d always known exactly how much Tiernon hated him.
“And still, I was so, so careful to never let anyone know where I was going each time I snuck away.” Tiernon lets out a bitter laugh.
“He’d decided to have me followed, but I was always good at disappearing into the Thorn—you taught me how.
The guard he sent to follow me never discovered my destination.
He did see me go into the Thorn though. Twice.
And he heard rumors I was with a sigilmarked.
The night before your third fight in the Sands, my father had me arrested and brought to his dungeon.
He … he kept me there for weeks. And when he finally set me free, he told me if I ever stepped foot in Fog’s Edge again, he would have his people find my little sigilmarked friend. ”
Tiernon’s eyes turn bleak. “If you had been a mundane, it would have been an embarrassment, easily punished and hidden.”
“Because your father is obsessed with bloodlines. And half vampires are weak. Even though you were the younger son, spending time with a mundane would have been an intolerable embarrassment.”
Tiernon nods. “But those with both vampire and sigilmarked blood? It’s as if both sides of them are multiplied somehow.
It doesn’t matter that we were young, that we’d never discussed children.
The thought that we could have children—that his own grandchild could one day rival him for power?
You would have been slaughtered in front of me.
Just like Lucius was today. I wouldn’t risk it.
I couldn’t. The threat always hung over my head.
I knew if I ever visited you again, if I ever even looked like I was going to go near the Thorn, you were dead. ”
I stagger away, leaning against the wall. Rage wars with vindication within me. But beneath both is a heavy, aching sadness.
Tiernon watches me. “I knew that of all the things I could do to push you away, leaving without warning was the one thing you would find unforgivable. It was the best way to keep you safe. It’s why it’s so dangerous that you’re here, Arvelle.
It’s why I’ve been trying so hard to get you out.
If my father finds out you’re the same girl I loved for all those years … he’ll kill you just to punish me.”
Dizziness sweeps through me. “What did he do to you in that dungeon?”
“Don’t, Velle.”
“He tortured you, didn’t he? So you would tell him who I was.”
Tiernon’s jaw twitches, and I feel my lip tremble. His voice … “You screamed so much, you ruined your vocal cords.”
“I was still transitioning fully into a vampire. I didn’t heal properly. My father decided it was another example of my weakness.”
But Tiernon never gave me up. If he had, I’d be dead. And Evren and Gerith likely would be too.
I push the heels of my palms against my stinging eyes. “I spent so many years hating you for leaving me, and you survived torture for me? Why didn’t you tell me when I first got here?”
Tiernon captures my wrists, pulling me closer once more. “Nothing has changed, Velle. It’s not safe for you in this place. I didn’t want you to know because it was better for you to hate me. It was better for you to forget about me altogether and leave.”
I hate it when he does this. I hate it when he makes decisions like this for me, out of his misguided belief that it makes me safer. Some part of me is still convinced that if he had told me all those years ago, we could have faced it. Together.
I push the thought away for later. If there’s one thing I’m learning, it’s how precious each moment with him is. “You know, I fantasized about all the ways I’d hurt you if I ever saw you again.”
Tiernon gives me a surprisingly sweet grin, leaning ever closer as I glower up at him.
“I’d expect nothing less.” His expression turns tender and his hand cups my face.
“I wish I’d been there. I’m so sorry about Kassia.
I … I bribed someone. Months after, when it was safe.
I needed to know you’d survived. My contact told me you were alive, and it never occurred to me that Kas wouldn’t be. ”
My eyes prickle. I’d known Kas hadn’t thought Tiernon was right for me. But she’d loved him because I loved him.
I rest my head on Tiernon’s shoulder, suddenly exhausted, wrung out. Tiernon strokes my hair, and it’s like I’m fifteen again, my head on his chest as I look up at the dark shadow of his face beneath our sturdy oak.
“I missed you more than I miss the sun,” he says hoarsely. I lean back so I can see his face, and his thumb traces my cheekbone. “If you stay in this room I’m taking you to bed.”
I swallow, my mouth suddenly dry. Gods, that’s all I want. “I know.”
His eyes harden. “I don’t want pity sex.”
“Shhh.” Rising up on tiptoe, I press my mouth to his.
Tiernon doesn’t move, his body stiff and unyielding against mine. I nibble his lower lip until he opens his mouth for me, my tongue gently stroking his.
My head spins, and my back hits the cool wall. I let out a yelp, but Tiernon swallows the sound, thrusting his tongue into my mouth.
His hands are voracious, sweeping across my hips, my back, my breasts, as if he’s memorizing every inch of me.
He cups my ass with a groan, pulling me even closer, and I grind against his length.
When he nips at my neck with sharp, lethal teeth, my skin breaks out in goose bumps.
I let out a low moan, arching my neck. “More.”
“Gods, Arvelle.”
I kiss his throat in return, pulling his skin into my mouth and marking him. Tiernon lets out a pleased grunt, angling his cock to rub against my clit. Choking on a gasp, I yank desperately at his tunic.
Learning how he protected me, learning how much he gave up … how much he suffered for me, all while I hated him … I need to feel him skin to skin. Now, now, now.
Pushing my hands away, Tiernon pulls his tunic over his head, and I suck in an unsteady breath, my hands immediately caressing smooth, warm muscle. His mouth finds mine once more, and I sweep my hands across his strong, wide shoulders, down the bumpy ridges of his abs, aiming lower …
Rip.
My tunic disappears, immediately followed by the band securing my breasts, and Tiernon … stares. I shiver, my nipples hardening. His gaze is like a caress, slowly moving up to my face. I inhale sharply at the vicious, raw need in his eyes.
He lowers his head, falling ravenously onto my breasts, his lips finding my nipple. The sudden sensation makes me gasp, and he flicks his tongue over me again. And again.
“Now,” I demand, and he doesn’t argue, stripping away my leggings and underwear, until I’m blinking up at him, naked. He steps out of his training leathers, and I let my gaze drift down to the rigid length of his cock.
I’ve taken it before, but …
Tiernon gives me a wicked grin filled with dark promise. “You’re good for my ego, Velle.”
He doesn’t make me wait, his mouth hungry on mine as he lifts me, positioning himself at my entrance. He’s large, but I arch my hips, opening for him as he thrusts inside me. With a roll of his hips, Tiernon picks up a steady rhythm, and I gasp against his mouth as he finds that spot inside me.