27. Raya
RAYA
“What happened that evening? When the decision was made?”
- QUESTIONS UNANSWERED BY RAYA
Khol stood outside of my room for three nights and three days. He thought it was for my protection, but I knew it was my imprisonment. The day of my first trial had loomed like a bad headache for what felt like years. And then the day arrived, like days always do.
My energy had died out, I had not used my power in days. Realization dawned on me, I did not really care whether I passed or failed. Whether I lived or died.
Nothing really mattered anymore. The three days I had spent without any contact with the outside world had cut me deep. It all seemed so pointless. Ezra was going to kill me; it was only a question of when. Maybe today or tomorrow or next week, so why bother trying?
Alias would find a way to survive without me, I was sure of it. Jala surely couldn’t punish him for my death.
I slugged out of bed, dressed in my fighting leathers, and tapped on the door.
“Right,” I huffed a deep breath. “Let’s get this over with.” I rolled my eyes as I walked past Khol, and his face crumpled with confusion.
“Have you eaten?” he asked, jogging to catch up with me.
“Have you seen any food delivered to my door?” I pointed to myself with outstretched thumbs. “I’m a prisoner, remember?” I laughed soullessly. I enjoyed not caring. I really enjoyed it.
Suddenly everything seemed like one big, colossal joke.
One big, massive fuck up.
What’s the point in caring when you’ve probably already seen your last sunset?
What’s the point in even trying when you know you are dead whether you pass or fail.
I laughed again at the thought.
“What’s wrong with you, Raya?” Khol asked softly. I hated that the way he said my name still sent tingles throughout my body.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re not acting like yourself,” he stated, his eyes trained on the long hallway ahead of us. I stopped in my tracks.
“Stop acting like you know me, Khol.” I folded my arms over my chest. “All you are is an overqualified prison guard, don’t pretend to know me, don’t pretend to care.”
“You think I don’t care?”
I shrugged, moving to lean on the wall opposite him.
“I think you want to care; I think you want to be better than your mother.” I rolled my ankles and cracked my neck. “But I suppose the apple doesn’t fall far from the rotten tree.”
Blood rushed to Khol’s face, and a small pang of guilt buried its way into my heart. I wasn’t angry at him, not really. But it seemed that he had become my personal punching bag. I opened my mouth to apologize.
“No,” Khol cut in before me. “It’s my turn to speak.” I closed my mouth and leaned further into the wall.
“You don’t get to decide to just give up, every day will be hard and every day you’ll question why you are even trying.” He took a deep breath. “But that’s life and we’re the ones that are lucky enough to be living it.” He stepped toward me a little and lowered his voice.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” He echoed his words from three days ago. This statement, although bold and filled with conviction, was false and we both knew it.
“You can’t stop this, Khol,” I stifled a shudder. “I heard the maids or guards, whoever they were. I know why I am here, but I don”t know why your mother is wasting her time on this charade of a trial.” I attempted to sink deeper in the brick behind me.
Khol stepped forward again.
“What are you talking about?” he whispered.
“That—” I began to speak but he shushed me quickly. My voice became a whisper. “I heard some maid talking in the hall. They said that I didn’t even need to do the trials, that your mother wouldn’t let me live either way,” I whispered.
“That can’t be true,” Khol stated, still whispering. “Perhaps the voices you overheard were just rumors? Think about it, why would she do that, to one of her own kind?”
“She had her own son executed, Khol,” I whispered, letting the words settle between us.
“Can’t you see that she is dangerous?” I stepped closer to him, our breath mixing softly.
“She is my mother, Raya.” Khol’s eyebrows knitted together, and his jaw ticked once. Twice.
“Am I supposed to believe the word of a girl I barely know over my own family?” As he spoke, it felt as though each of his words hit my chest like tiny, vicious knifes.
I swallowed against my throat. Standing up to my full height.
“No, I guess not.” I swept past him, stalking down the hall toward my first trial. A new fire now blazing in my veins.
Not caring felt good, it felt freeing. But using the unbridled power that lived within me? Well, that was Gods damn delicious.
Crowds piled into stands all around a makeshift arena. I had heard the hammering and stamping of feet before I saw it. It was a stadium just outside of The Temple’s wall, and the crowd were hungry for a performance. A decision on whether I lived or died.
Just as I began to wonder how such an extravagant event would be shielded from the humans, Ezra pointed to sixteen MindWonderers posted around the arena. If a human stumbled upon or found their way to us, all they would see is an old, abandoned farmhouse, unable to be opened. My own interest irritated me, I wish I didn’t marvel at the new world I stumbled into.
Despite the over-enthusiastic assembly, the task was simple.
I was placed in a ring, on my own, and told to fight and win.
Rather anticlimactic if you asked me.
I categorized the area around me. The floor was dust, which meant harder to run and easier to slip. There was one half fallen-down brick wall standing in the center of the ring. Debris from, assumably, previous fights scattered around it. My years of training lessons with Matron and the Sage Guard jumped around my mind. I could use the wall to hide or to collect momentum or… or…
It suddenly dawned on me that the feeling making its way up from my toes to my shoulders was fear.
I was scared, scared for my life and what it would mean to die.
I turned the words over in my head.
Jala wouldn’t let me die. She needed my information. Ezra needed me alive to bargain with, right?
But she also needed a good show.
Gates creaked and the crowds’ cheers went from loud to near deafening. A man, around my age and height, swaggered from the dimly light gateway at the edge of the arena, his arms raised waving to the crowds. Women and men alike began screaming with pure glee. A man fainted. A woman threw her underwear into the arena. It was madness.
He had ridiculously toned arms and a smile that suggested he knew exactly how handsome he was.
I was a damn solider of the Sage Guard, I couldn’t let myself lose to this… show pony.
Raya
The whisper in my head startled me but I immediately looked around for Khol. He stood stoic and tall next to his mother.
You fight until one of you can’t carry on. Remember what we practiced, you’re ready for this.
I nodded, before Khol spoke again.
Look at him he’s a… a show pony.
I laughed quietly as Khol repeated my own words back to me.
I’ve seen him fight before, he goes for the impressive moves to show the crowd, he’s not here to kill you, he’s here to embarrass you. Fight dirty and fight hard. You can do this.
With Khol’s words running through my mind, I squared my shoulders and stole one more look at him. And winked.
What I should’ve said was thank you. I should’ve told him that he was the one I wanted to celebrate with.
But instead, I settled for a wink, attempting to convey my feelings through the gesture.
“Jasper Garner,” my opponent shouted across to me, bowing low but never taking his eyes off me.
“I’d introduce myself,” I shouted back, my voice laced with sweetness. “But you already know who I am.”
“This’ll be quick, don’t worry, sweetheart.” He smiled cruelly.
“Oh, I bet you say that to all the girls.” I smiled back, then turned my head toward Ezra at the sounds of the deafening trumpets.
Ezra stood gracefully, a waterfall of technicolor robes swirling around her.
“Begin,” she shouted, her lack of words catching me off guard, as well as the hard punch against my jaw.
I stumbled back as Jasper swung for me again, planting my feet in the dust and shaking off the punch.
Goddess, my jaw stung.
Jasper turned and waved to the crowd, not even worried about turning his back on me.
I couldn’t tell what the bigger insult was.
I leapt forward, sweeping my leg underneath him, pinning his body to the ground. Dust quickly covered us as he struggled against my hands on his throat. If I could just get him to pass out, then this would all be over.
But he did not give up that easily, soon he spun us, his hands now closing on my throat.
Thunder clapped overhead and the once blue skies turned grey. I knew that using our magic was forbidden in the combat trial, but I didn’t have complete control yet.
And Ezra wasn’t really playing by the rules now, was she?
Heavy rain fell in sheets, soon turning the dust beneath us into thick mud.
In a moment of weakness, the rainwater made Jasper’s hand slippy and he loosened his grip. Air whooshed into my lungs as I rolled away, jumping to my feet.
“Nice trick, Raya,” Jasper sneered. “Or should I call you ‘O mighty queen’,” he mock bowed, his gaze narrowing in on mine. We circled each other slowly.
“You can call me whatever you want, although ‘O mighty queen’ might be harder when I’ve knocked all your teeth out.” I smiled again, jumping out to throw a punch.
He blocked it easily, catching me on my cheek. Blood leaked slowly, falling over my lips. What was I doing? I had spent my entire life training and fighting and becoming a weapon? And now I was letting Jasper punch me?
Wake up, Raya.
Darting behind the half-broken wall, I swiped the blood from my lip. Focus, I chided myself. Nineteen years of training had prepared me for this. And I wasn’t going down without a fight.
Grabbing the bricks for momentum, I swung around as Jasper approached, my feet slamming into the center of his chest. A strained cough sounded from his chest as he attempted to rise. I smashed my fist against his nose, the bones crunching beneath my hand. Blood, hot and thick dripped down his face. He rose again, his pride forcing him to go on. Swinging at me, I let him hit my face. The Temple needn’t know how deadly I was just yet.
My skin parted on my cheek, blood seeping down into my mouth.
“It really is a shame to ruin such a pretty face,” Jasper choked, reaching for me again, this time I blocked him easily, throwing a punch to his groin.
“Aw, you think I’m pretty?” I sung sarcastically, watching him attempt to steady his balance. My hair stuck to my shoulders as my rain continued to fall. The steady beat of the drops calming me, the knowing that I created them filled me with confidence and ease.
I could break this world apart if I really wanted to.
So, I did.
As Jasper lunged for me again and smashed my foot against the mud and cracked the earth with a battle cry, Jasper realized too late that he was heading right for the hole in the earth. I reached for him, grabbing his hand just before he plummeted down into the earth.
“I’m bored,” I sighed, holding his entire life in my hands. “Yield and I won’t let you fall to your death.”
“You bitch,” Japer spat, I loosened my grip ever so slightly.
“Wait, wait! Fine,” he looked around at his once adoring fans. “I yield!” he shouted, and I plopped him back on solid ground.
Turning to Ezra, I fell slowly and steadily into a bow.
Khol raised his hand to knit the earth back together, but I beat him to it, waving my hand.
I wasn’t sure it would work, but I was so high on power that I tried it anyway.
And the earth fell back into place.
The crowd sat still and silent, unsure what to do with themselves. And then suddenly, all at once they jumped to their feet, screaming, shouting, clapping, and stomping. The arena began to shake. I turned back to Jasper curled up and panting on the floor.
“Don’t take it personally.”