Chapter 9 Jericho
JERICHO
“Move your ass Coco. If we’re late, we’re never going to hear the end of it,” my partner says, slapping me hard on the back as he walks around our truck.
We’re on patrol today, but it's also Super Bowl Sunday. Somehow my dumbass partner and his friends convinced the upper command to let us enjoy it. I still don’t know how they did it, and Kevin won’t say, but the sly look in his eyes tells me maybe I don’t want to know the gritty details.
“I’m coming, just give me a minute.” I carefully loop one shoelace through the other, pulling extra tight and securing it the way we were taught in basics.
Even for a routine patrol, I don’t want to be caught slacking on anything.
One mess up can make the difference between me living to see the sun tomorrow or the pearly gates. I’d rather not take my chances.
Connor impatiently taps his heel, acting like the annoying child that he is.
His bright red hair is a shock of its own, but when the sunlight hits it, it resembles flames coming off his head.
Connor’s attitude is what got him so far, the sassy man who always has a comeback for any comment and everyone flocks to him just to see what remark he’ll come up with.
He loves being my partner, mostly because I’m content to listen to him talk.
And talk he does, about sports, his hometown, a bit of gossip he saw in a magazine before he deployed.
If there’s a conversation worth having, he’s having it.
I stand up and dust off my pants, dramatically taking my time to hear Connor huff.
The guys are talking loudly, throwing around a football in preparation for the big game today. They all think they could have gone pro, but they have a plethora of excuses why they didn’t.
“Coco, hurry back. We’re scrimmaging before the game starts and I want you on my team,” Hollis yells at me, throwing the ball my way and I watch as it hits me square in the chest and I catch it before it hits the ground.
The rough leather in my hands takes me to worlds away, moments in time when I thought I was invincible.
That nothing would hurt me and I would always come out on top.
Life after graduation has taught me that’s not always the case, no matter how good my intentions are I can still fall and fail.
I can hurt others around me even when all I want to do is take care of the ones that I love.
“Hell no, you got him last time we scrimmaged. He’s on my team this time,” Connor retorts, grabbing the ball from my hands and running across the dirt to slink past Hollis and run into the marked off section they have dedicated to the endzone.
“All of you, quit fucking around.” My spine straightens as our commanding officer comes out of his tent, arms crossed as he glares at us through his aviator sunglasses. “Who’s on route today?”
I speak up, clear and concise, the way we were taught in boot camp. “Me, sir.”
Connor pipes up to, straightening up and dropping the football to the ground at his feet. “Me, sir.”
“Then get your asses out of here.” He barks and we turn and jog to the station, bypassing Hollis and the rest of our chuckling teammates.
When we’re locked and loaded in the van, me driving and Connor running navigation, he does his best to keep the conversation centered around the football game today.
“Oh my god, Coco, the commercials? Please tell me you watch the commercials. They’re the best part every year.
So funny– I think one year my Nan exploded Sprite out of her nose, she was so pissed when we all started laughing, she threatened to write us out of her will.
” He sighs dreamily, staring out the window and watching the dirt as we drive.
“The dog one was sad though.” I offer, remembering the sad dog as it stared at the camera. I had to hold Raiden after that, his back pressed against my chest as he cried quietly and begged his parents to take him to the shelter to help a dog in need. And then he cried harder when they told him no.
“Yesss. I forgot about that one! Such a good one. And isn’t it crazy how expensive the commercials are?
Imagine if you had that kind of money… what would you do with it?
” He phrases it as a question, but he doesn’t wait for my answer as he starts detailing what he would do.
As he rambles, I wonder what I would actually do if I had that crazy amount of money.
The military isn’t a lucrative career, most people leave before they rise in ranks.
I’m planning on leaving at some point, maybe when I hit ten years.
That way I can have that on my resume and maybe it’ll help me get a job.
A nice house, definitely a dog, but there’s not really much else I want.
Lies. The word echoes in my brain and I refuse to acknowledge the truth of wanting something I can’t have. I pack the word down and tuck it back into the nook that it popped out of unbidden.
“I would get a dog, probably a great dane or something big. I’d probably sit on a small dog, and I don’t think I want a cat either.” I say in a small moment of quiet.
“That makes sense,” he says easily and I cut my eyes over at him.
“What does that mean?” I quirk an eyebrow at him and catch his eyes in the rearview mirror.
“Look at you, dude. You’re huge. You’re definitely the stereotypical big dog owner. I can’t fault you for it, though. Little dogs can be mean. My aunt has a chihuahua and that thing is vicious. Will bite anyone, except my aunt. That dog thinks she hung the moon.”
The dust starts kicking up worse behind us and I slow down. Connor groans beside me, flicking his wrist over to check the time. He looks down at his watch and then back at me.
“I’m not trying to rush you, but can you push the pedal a little more? I don’t want to miss the pregame show.” He rolls his window down and sticks his fingers out, catching the dry breeze on them.
“We’ll be back in plenty of time, quit worrying.” I brush off his concerns, going out to our turnaround point. “Scan the area and make sure we don’t see anything then we can go back.”
He does as I say, grabbing a pair of binoculars and handing me the other. I scan the skyline, seeing nothing for miles except red dirt and blue sky.
“I think we’re all good,” he says, stowing away his binoculars and reaching for mine. I do one last sweep just to be sure we didn’t miss anything, even a small misstep out here can mean life or death.
“Let’s go back.”
The ride back is silent, the rattle of equipment in the back keeping us company as we make the trek across the rocky terrain.
“Where do you think we’ll go next?” Connor asks after we get parked and while we’re double checking our gear.
“Hopefully somewhere with grass. I could go the rest of my life without seeing red dirt and it’ll be way too soon.”
“Agreed,” he hums, taking off in a brisk walk back to the camp.
He already has his shirt untucked and he’s rolling his shoulders and stretching out the tense muscles.
I do the same, twisting my hips and leaning from side to side.
The muscles I’ve put on limit my mobility for bending and stretching, and I’m sure if Raiden could see me now, he would be putting me through rigorous stretching exercises.
The scrimmage is fun, the most fun I’ve had in a while.
Passing, dodging, catching, laughing with my team.
Watching as everyone lets loose for the first time in the long three months we’ve been stationed here.
We’ll be packing up and moving out soon, but getting to enjoy this time is something that I never thought I would get to experience.
I always told myself I would do my time and get out.
But the friendships I’ve made along the way are going to make that hard.
I can’t imagine leaving one of these guys behind for any reason.
Earlier today I told myself ten years, but what’s waiting for me outside of this?
Nothing. That’s what’s waiting for me.
A new sort of calm wafts over me, the decision taken out of my hands before it was even truly given to me.
There’s nothing to take me away from this, from making this into my career.
I thought I might have a chance at reconciling with Raiden, but he’s made it clear he won’t be waiting for me to come home anytime soon.
“Heads up,” Hollis yells, and I focus back on the game in front of me, catching the ball and maneuvering my way down the field. Ace steps in my way, intending to block me, and I push past him, keeping the ball and the rag tucked in the side of my shorts out of the way so he can’t grab either.
When I make it into the endzone, my teammates cheer, even the ones on the losing team.
We wash up and have a quick dinner before all congregating in front of the small TV in our Commander’s tent.
He glares at us as we enter, but as soon as we’re all here, he lightens up and sits down on the hard ground with us, nothing except a thin piece of plastic material keeping us separated from the hard dirt.
By halftime, the guys have secured the bets for who they think is going to win. I don’t partake, just content to sit here and watch them as they haggle over chores and jobs they don’t want to do.
The performer is announced, and the guys disperse to entertain themselves until the halftime show is over.
I stay rooted to my spot, watching as the singer comes on stage.
She’s a pretty woman, and her voice is beautiful as she hits the first note of her song.
It’s something I’ve heard on the radio, I’m sure of it.
She goes through a few of the popular ones, some I recognize and a few I don’t but they sound catchy enough.
The lights dim on the stage, only the lights from people’s phones lighting up the arena.
A ray of pink light hits the stage, the glow emanating the person standing in the center of it.
It’s not the woman anymore. I watch in awe as the dancer’s body moves, the ebb and flow of their limbs as they become one with the melancholy notes radiating across the stadium, stunning everyone into silence, including me.
The woman starts singing again. A slow, sad, love ballad talking about breaking hearts and the mess left in its wake. Causing destruction wherever broken hearts go.
When she finishes, she and the dancer take a bow together. I watch the sweat drip off the ends of the dancer’s hair. The mid length locks are dark brown with a blue shadow under the bright light, and when he lifts his head my jaw drops and I feel my world tilt on its axis.
“Ladies and gentleman, thank you so much for having me tonight!” There’s an uproar and she takes a gracious bow.
“And a big thank you to Raiden for joining me tonight! He’s so busy but he’s taken time out of his hectic schedule to join us.
” The noise coming through the tv is deafening, almost as if I’m right there with them, feeling the same excitement they are.
His dark eyes are looking at me through the camera. His hair sitting messily across his forehead, the hair that I used to run my fingers through while he would sit in front of me on the floor and tilt his head back until I did exactly what he wanted.
My pulse is pounding and my mouth is dry, I try to swallow to wet it but all my throat does is offer a pathetic click in response.
The cameras back off of them, shrinking their appearances until they are nothing except a blip against the black stage.
They cut the cameras and go to a commercial break.
I’m still stuck in a trance. I can’t move past it. He didn’t know I was watching, how could he? But in that moment, it felt like the performance was meant for me and me alone. The same routines he used to do in his bedroom, only perfected now. He accomplished his dream. And I’m not there to see it.
I push myself to a stand, bending to alleviate the pain in my lower back from the unforgiving ground.
“I’m gonna head out.” I tell no one in particular as they start flooding in again to watch the commercials before the game starts back up.
That night, I took my blankets out of the tent and laid under the stars, watching as they lit up the dark night sky. I traced my fingers across the constellations, naming them off as best I could, letting the eerie silence lull me into a fitful sleep.
I dream of him.