Chapter 25 Jericho
JERICHO
In my need for Raiden, I completely forgot that I agreed to hand out candy with Liam at his house before we go to my parents’ for the party.
With a sad sigh and a forced smile, Raiden watched me drive away. I watched the figure of him in my rearview mirror until he disappeared from the distance.
Sitting with Liam and Jojo on the front porch of his house while he excitedly hands out candy to people stopping by, I feel a strong pain of guilt. He’s so happy, his smile bright and he talks to everyone who stops. He’s so sweet, and I’m awful. I’m going to have to crush him.
I tried to tell myself on the drive over that it’s better in the long run to get it over with quickly. There’s no point in drawing it out when I’ve already mentally checked out of the relationship. I’m just waiting for the right moment, and sadly that’ll be tomorrow.
But tomorrow we’ll all be happier.
It’s not like I’m jumping right into a relationship with Raiden anyway. We have things we need to work out and I want to properly date him. To show him how he deserves to be loved after he’s had to put up with that asshole Josh for so long.
“Did you hear me, Jericho?”
I flinch, my thoughts getting ahead of themselves and worrying that I’ve somehow spoken my plans out loud. That would be awful.
“No, sorry. I didn’t. Can you repeat it?”
Liam looks at me weirdly, his face skeptical as he turns to face me more. The gold glitter on his cheeks contrasts nicely with his dark skin and he looks pretty. That stupid pang thumps through me again as I stare at him.
“I asked who all is going to be at your parents’ tonight.”
Oh, so I didn’t accidentally confess my plans.
“Raiden, Sophie and her son Damon, Hollis, Connor, Ace…” I trail off trying to remember who else. “And obviously Ema and Rodney, but I think that’s it. It’s supposed to be quaint, as my mom so politely put it.”
“I don’t know how I feel about Raiden,” Liam says, dropping his gaze from mine and I pause. I wait for him to say anything else, but he seems content for me to pick up the conversation from there.
“Can I ask why?”
Liam blows out an annoyed huff, and avoids the conversation as a group of kids come up for candy. I try to wait patiently, a prickle of irritation starts at the base of my spine as he keeps avoiding me.
When there’s finally a break from kids, he sits down on the chair beside me. The sun has gone down, the residual glow of the day leaving as the night begins to take over.
“I just don’t know if I like him. I mean, Jericho, you remember how he was.”
“I do, but he’s also been my best friend for the longest time.”
“I know that, I’m not trying to set you off but you have to see it from my perspective. He treated you like shit, and as soon as he starts coming around again, you drop everything for him.”
Anger sparks and I stand up, glaring at Liam as he tugs on the collar of his costume. “You don’t know him like I do.”
That doesn’t help the problem any, because in the next moment he sets Jojo on the ground and lets her run around the yard as he stands up to look me in the eyes.
“I don’t need to know him, Jericho. I can see, I have eyes.
He treats you like shit, but you keep running right back to him.
I don’t know why you can’t see for yourself that he’s using you,” Liam spits out and my heart drops.
Because he just confirmed that he can see all my fears, even if he doesn't know it. Isn’t that the same thing I’ve been worried about?
Raiden using me and tossing me to the side.
Raiden not being as serious as I am about this.
I take a step back and whirl around to walk down the sidewalk. Anything I say now will be spoken in anger, and no matter how mad I am at Liam for shining an LED light on my biggest insecurities, he doesn’t deserve my wrath.
“Wait, Jericho, I’m sorry. Please don’t go.” Liam catches up to me, grabbing me around my upper arm and I breathe through the need to push him off. Not because he’s done something to warrant it, but he knows I hate when people grab me with little to no warning.
“I’ll see you at my parents’ house, I just need to cool down.” This is when I would normally kiss him or offer a hug, but I can’t do it today. Not when my insecurities and the lies are weighing this heavy on me.
I get in my truck, and back out his driveway, watching carefully for the Trick or Treaters as I make my way down the populated road and out to the more sparse areas.
My phone rings as I get on the interstate, pressing the gas pedal down and feeling the roar of my truck engine as it gains speed to merge with the rest of the traffic.
I contemplate ignoring it, but when I see his name, I know I can’t.
And isn’t that the fucking cherry on top of all of this?
The one person that I want more than anything also has the possibility to be my downfall.
The one thing I can’t live without but also the only thing that can kill me. My ambrosia and kryptonite.
I click the answer button on my steering wheel, and wait for him.
“Jer?” His voice is sweet, and I can picture his lips forming the sounds of my name. “You there?”
“Yeah,” my voice is gruff and I clear my throat.
“Where are you? I thought you would be back by 7:00?”
I check the clock on my dash, and I realize I spent more time driving the backroads than I realized.
The numbers are mocking me as I see it glaring a neon 7:09.
Raiden called because I’m nine minutes late.
Nine minutes. It doesn't seem like a lot, but plenty of life changing things can happen in less time.
“I’m out driving,” I answer simply, checking my rearview mirror so I can change lanes to pass by a slow car. It’s a grandma, so I feel bad for a minute that I passed her, but at least I didn’t throw my hands up in agitation because then I would really feel like an asshole.
“Where? Are you not coming to your parents’? Not everyone is here yet, but your mom is already asking where you are.” The unspoken part is that my mom is asking where me and Liam are.
“Maybe later, I can’t do it right now Raiden,” I answer him honestly. I want to take some time for myself, nothing to keep me company except the white lines and the other cars on the road. Something to clear my head.
“Where are you? Tell me please, I’m worried about you.” His voice is somber.
“I’ll be okay, tiny dancer. I still have to pick you up tonight, remember?” I try to make a smile grace his face, but he doesn’t say anything and I start to feel insecure, letting those dreadful thoughts from early start to creep in. “Unless you don’t want to anymore.”
“I do, I want to spend every minute I can with you.”
I shouldn’t, it's a recipe for disaster, but the thing about Raiden is I can’t fight it. I want to chase the disaster, chase the high I get from him. I’m a storm chaser, hunting him down and waiting as he causes damage and pray that he doesn't sweep me away in his tumultuous winds.
“Do you want to ride around with me for a little bit? Then we can go back to my parents’…” The rest of our plans are obvious from there. He’s coming over to my place again tonight and the promise of his body wrapped around mine is enough for me to swing the truck over to the exit ramp.
“Yeah, I do. Where do you want me to meet you?” He asks and that’s the million dollar question, because I can’t pull up to my parents’ road while everyone is congregating there for the party. Someone would realize and I would have a lot of explaining to do.
“Can you walk over to Thomas street? And I’ll pick you up on the sidewalk in front of the yellow house.” It’s a couple of blocks away from my parents’ house. Close enough for him to walk, but not so far that I have to worry about him walking.
“Yeah, how soon?” I can hear him rustling over the line.
“I can be there in five minutes,” I tell him, merging onto a side road that will lead me back to the area I need to be.
“I’ll start walking now.” The sound of a door opening creaks and then I hear the loud laughter of a child close by. “Oh my god, did you hear that?” Raiden’s laugh matches the child's enthusiasm. “They got a big chocolate bar from your mom and they’re stoked.”
“I’m glad, they always go out every year. But those prices are getting out of hand. Good for the kids though, not as much for the parents. They’ll be on a sugar high for the rest of the night.”
“The parents will probably eat the kids’ candy after they go to bed, so it’s a win-win for everyone around.”
I’m turning around a corner when I see Raiden, wearing his yellow costume and standing with his arms crossed to help conserve a small bit of his body heat. I crank up the heat in my truck, making sure it’s blowing nice and warm and turning the seat warmer on so it’ll be toasty when he gets in.
Pulling up to the curb, I click the unlock button and wait for him to get in before I take off. He leans across and kisses me on the corner of my mouth. I chase his mouth with my own but he’s too quick for me, sitting back in his seat and buckling up.
“Onward, trusty steed,” he demands in a holier- than- thou tone that works well with the costume he’s wearing.
I chuckle, but get off the curb and take a turn down the road past my parents.
I feel a pang of remorse at my actions. Leaving Liam alone was a shitty thing to do, and now bailing on my parent’s party.
But I can’t be all that choked up about it, because the happiness of Raiden riding shotgun is better than any feeling I’ve had lately.
Having him with me, just watching him and being able to freely be with him, even if it's in the seclusion of my truck.
“Where are you taking me? If you’re going to murder me and hide the body you need to have a good escape plan. Like a way to get to Bolivia or somewhere else.” He looks so serious that I can’t help but bust a gut from laughing.
“I’m not worried about extradition. If I needed to kill you, you wouldn’t have to worry about anyone finding you.” At first, I’m worried that I’ll scare him off by reminding him what I was capable of during our time apart. I’ve learned and seen a lot in my time in the military.
“I can’t tell if I want to laugh because you got the joke for extradition, or be scared that you know how to kill me and not leave a trace.
” His smile is lethal as he turns his body fully towards me, the seatbelt is the only thing restraining him from coming closer to me.
I could easily lean over and undo it for him, but I want him to make the move.
To prove to me how he feels. It’s all kinds of fucked up, but I’ve never claimed to have healthy people skills.
“I know lots of ways to kill and not leave a trace.” I smirk at him and he drums his fingers against his thigh deep in thought as he stares at me. His brown eyes cutting daggers into the side of my face, I can feel them on me as I try to focus my attention back on the road so I don’t wreck us.
“I can’t tell if that’s a turn on or a turn off.” His seat belt buckle unclips, and he leans closer to me over the center console.His breath dances against my face as he nose comes to my ear. The fresh smell of his floral perfume wafts over me and I breathe deeply, taking all of him in.
“Definitely a turn on,” he says. “Knowing how capable you are of man-handling me. You could hurt me. Couldn’t you?”
I could, but I never want to. Even accidentally. I never want to put him in a position like that.
“I won’t.”
“What if I ask you to?”
My eyes nearly bug out of my head at his question.
The sensual words combined with his breathy voice has my control waning as he traces his lips across my ear, pressing kisses behind it.
I hold in the groan wanting to escape, it feels like he has a manual on my body and knows exactly what to do to set me off.
“I would be on my knees, looking up at you with your hard cock straining the front of your boxers,” he doesn’t finish his sentence and I’m left to my own imagination.
It doesn’t have to think too hard because all I can think about is Raiden on his knees for me, in the same outfit he’s in right now.
Makeup on and messily smudged from our passion.
I would break him apart, just to put him right back together.
“Choking on your dick, spit trailing down my chin as you fucked my throat. You wouldn’t take it easy on me, would you?”
“No, no I wouldn’t,” I groan, my dick hardens in my pants and I strain my attention to focus on the road. The white lines keeping me from wrecking into other cars are starting to blur.
“That’s how I want you, Jer. I don't want you to be easy. I want you rough and hard.”
A horn honks and my eyes snap open, I quickly jerk the wheel to pull the truck back over into the lane I’m trying to drive in.
“No more,” I bite out. I exhale deeply through my nose, trying to get my arousal under control before I kill us and the people around us. “No more, please.”
Raiden’s chuckle is evil, but he listens and sits back in his seat.
“Can I at least pick the music? Or will that distract you too much?”
“Menace,” I whisper-hiss under my breath. He hears it, and laughs loudly while he reaches for my phone sitting in the cup holder. He swipes up, attempting to unlock the screen, and when that fails I finally cave and tell him my password. “1228.”
He stops what he’s doing, his fingers frozen above the glass screen.
I don’t look at him though. I could come up with a million excuses, but none of those would match up to the truth.
The truth that I’ve been holding onto for all these years.
That I’m still pining for him, boyfriend and everything else be damned.
Raiden doesn’t say anything, and I appreciate the reprieve from the questions I’m sure are buzzing around in his head.
Starting with, but not limited to, why the fuck is my password his birthday?
It’s not a big thing, really, it just so happens that those three numbers are also in the corner of the keypad and easy to remember.
I’m so fucked.