Four
FOUR
Kat
When my sister’s eyes met mine, it became clear she knew I had accomplished what I set out to do yesterday.
And it was obvious she wanted to know everything about my night last night.
Unfortunately for her, we were at our parents’ house for lunch, and Eva had no choice but to keep her mouth shut while we spent some time with them.
On the bright side, I didn’t have to come right out with any of it immediately. And I was grateful for that, considering I’d spent the hour-long drive to my hometown reliving every aspect of my night with Graham.
All of it, from the moment I sat down on the stool beside him right up until I left his house following our third round in his bed. There wasn’t any part of it I wanted to forget.
Not because I had grown some sort of attachment to him. That wasn’t the case at all—though it wouldn’t have been unreasonable to believe something like that was possible given how wonderful the night had been—I merely enjoyed all that last night had been for me.
While I’d spent a significant amount of my time remembering how it felt to be touched, desired, and ravished by a man, a lot of my focus remained on what happened before I left Graham’s place to go home.
It was after Graham had delivered the final round of orgasms for the night. After he’d made it so that I didn’t think I’d even be able to walk straight, let alone drive myself home. I’d gone into Graham’s bathroom to get myself cleaned up, and when I emerged, I went for my clothes.
Graham didn’t hook an arm around me and ask me to stay like he had after the first and second rounds. He knew, like I did, that our night had come to an end.
So, I set about getting myself dressed, and I felt Graham’s eyes on me the entire time. I wondered what was going through his mind, if there was any part of him that felt regret or shame, or if he had thoroughly enjoyed himself and was merely basking in the state of post-orgasmic bliss.
By the time I’d gotten my clothes and shoes back on, Graham had pulled on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt to lead me back to the door that went out to his garage, and ultimately, his driveway, where my car was parked.
“I had a great time with you tonight,” I said as we approached the door.
“Yeah. You were fantastic, Kat.”
I kept my head down as a small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. That he could come out with something like that after he’d led us brilliantly throughout most of the night was nice.
But it was also in that moment when I thought it was such an awful shame it was over. Not for any other reason than Graham being the best sex of my life. How horrible to never experience it again.
Or, perhaps I could.
“You know, I know this was only supposed to be a one-time thing, but you’ve certainly left a lasting impression,” I murmured, a shy chuckle escaping. Clearing my throat, I shuffled my feet restlessly with uncertainty. “If you think you’d like to do this again, I’d be happy to leave you with my number.”
He studied me for a few seconds, and the heavy scrutiny made me squirm. I’d never done this before, so I wasn’t entirely sure that I hadn’t broken any unspoken rules about how to leave. Was it okay to offer my number to my one-night stand, even if only to make it more than just one night?
Feeling too much pressure, I blurted, “Look, I’m sorry about that. It’s okay. This was only supposed to be for tonight. It’s just that you were so unbelievably good in bed, and I thought… well, never mind.”
“Do you have your phone on you?” he asked.
His response caught me by surprise.
“I do.”
“Take it out, and I’ll give you my number.”
I pulled out my phone, unlocked it, and held it out to him. After Graham programmed his number, I tapped on the screen to call him. “You have my number now. If you don’t call, no worries. This was wonderful. But like I said, you were amazing, so I wouldn’t mind it if I could have another go at you.”
“If we do this again, it’ll still be just sex, Kat.”
Maybe I really had broken a rule, because I was getting the gruff version of Graham again. The same guy he’d been in the pub. I offered a quick nod of understanding and agreement in return. “Of course. Just sex, Graham. I promise I’m not looking for anything else.”
He dipped his chin. “Good. Then maybe I’ll reach out again soon.”
I didn’t want to seem too eager, especially when there wasn’t even a hint of a promise in his words, but I couldn’t stop the friendly smile from forming on my face. “I’ll look forward to it.”
Graham reached around my body to open the door and turn on the light for me. After he hit the button to open his garage door, I stepped outside.
“Drive safe.”
“I will. Have a good night.”
“Yeah. You, too.”
Surprisingly, Graham waited until I was safely inside my car and had turned it on before he hit the button to close his garage door. And then I spent the entire ride home wondering if that was the last time that I’d ever see him.
That thought consumed my mind throughout the night and into this morning. Would he ever call?
I couldn’t stay caught up in that, because a new day had dawned, and I was with my family. Part of my family, anyway. We’d just spent the early part of our afternoon together at my parents’ place, having lunch and catching up with one another. My parents had been overjoyed when they learned I was stopping by for a visit with them and spending the night with my sisters.
And now, Eva and I had joined Amy back at her place, where we planned to spend the rest of our night. My sisters and I often planned outings with one another—whether shopping trips, dinners, local events, or even dancing—but sometimes, we just wanted a quiet night of sisterly bonding.
“Alright, spill the beans,” Eva demanded.
I’d just barely sat down on the couch, and it seemed I’d waited entirely too long. “What are you talking about?”
She narrowed her eyes on me. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. I want to know what happened last night.”
“Last night?” Amy repeated. “What happened last night?”
Eva sent me a knowing smile and filled Amy in. “Kat decided to switch things up a bit last night. She told me she was going to go out and find a guy to have some fun with.”
Amy’s eyes practically fell out of her head, but there was a sign of hope lingering in her features. “You’re dating again?”
“No.” I shook my head and filled Amy in on the conversation Eva and I had yesterday when I’d gotten home from work.
When I finished bringing her up to speed on things—I could see the questions lingering in her gaze—Eva chimed in. “Judging by the look on your face when you walked into Mom and Dad’s house earlier, something happened last night.”
“Did it?”
I licked my lips, a vision of Graham flashing in my mind. “Yes.”
“Tell us everything.”
So, that’s what I did. I filled my sisters in on how it all went down. How I’d gotten myself ready to go out and prepared my mind for the possibility of not finding what I was looking for when I arrived at the pub. Then I shared how I’d walked in, strolled up to the bar brimming with confidence, and sat down beside a handsome guy. I revealed the details of how I’d managed to strike up a conversation with Graham, how intense things felt simply sitting beside him, and how it didn’t take long for the two of us to decide to leave and head back to his place.
“Wait. Wait,” Amy cut in. “Are you telling me you never met this man before, and you just went back to his house like it was no big deal?”
“That’s what I’m telling you.”
“But… but that’s not safe.”
I tipped my head to the side and smiled. “I’m here, aren’t I? Look, if I’d gotten a bad vibe from him, I never would have left that pub and followed him home. Granted, I guess I could have been wrong about him, and that really would have sucked, but I wasn’t, so I’m not going to dwell on the part of this whole thing that might make me seem like an idiot. I had a great time.”
Amy’s shoulders fell. Eva remained silent, having already been through this part of the conversation with me yesterday. Amy still hadn’t had the chance to say her piece. “You had a great time with a guy you don’t intend to see again, Kat. That’s heartbreaking.”
“Not exactly.”
Surprise washed over her expression, and even Eva was intrigued, because she leaned forward and asked, “What exactly does that mean?”
I did my best to stifle the grin threatening to make an appearance. “It means that after having hours of the best sex of my whole life, I decided to dive into this whole thing full force. This new life of mine is all about having a good time, right? So, I told Graham that if he was interested in hooking up again, he could call me.”
“How did he respond to that?” Amy questioned me.
Without giving me the chance to respond, Eva insisted, “He didn’t turn down that opportunity.”
I shook my head. “Nope. He has my number now.”
“Do you think he’s going to call?”
If Eva was still hopeful about love and romance, it was safe to say she didn’t compare to Amy. It could be said that was because she was in a relationship with a guy who adored her right now, but that wasn’t the case. Amy had always been that way, even before Matt came into her life.
And that’s the one thing I could see shining through as she asked me that single question. It was like she hadn’t been willing to accept everything I’d shared about changing things up in my life to the point I was merely looking out for myself and doing what made me happy. So, while Amy’s question might have seemed fine on the surface—her simply wondering if Graham and I would get together for a night of fun again—my sister didn’t want to believe I never wanted to find love once more. And that question—or, perhaps, my response to it—was her way of proving that I hadn’t given up hope of a future she envisioned for all three of us.
“I’m not sure he’ll call.”
“But you hope he does, don’t you?”
I smiled. “Yes. But you need to understand this for what it is, Amy. I’m not hoping he’ll call for anything other than sex. Like I said, it was easily the best sex of my life, and I had a great time with him. But that’s all it was, and that’s all it ever will be. Graham and I discussed that not only at the pub before we went back to his place, but we also both made it clear to one another before we exchanged numbers. There won’t be anything more than sex between us.”
“And she’s okay with it, Amy,” Eva explained. Surprisingly, I didn’t hear any judgment in her tone. Maybe she’d taken the time since our call yesterday to let it all sink in and come to grips with it.
I had no such luck with Amy. She sat back, crossing her arms over her chest, and huffed. "Well, I don’t think I ever want to meet this guy.”
My eyes slid to the side and landed on Eva. She was struggling not to laugh just as much as I was. “I think that’s the whole point.”
Amy shook her head. “I don’t understand. Why do you want to do this, Kat? You can’t tell me you don’t want the fairytale ending.”
Any of the amusement I’d been feeling vanished. “I don’t. Not any longer. At this point, I’ve decided I’m sick and tired of sitting around and feeling miserable about what happened to me. All I care about now is looking after myself, not relying on someone else to do it. And part of that means not risking getting caught up in another web of lies, in someone else’s false promises about what a future looks like.”
Tears filled her eyes, and even though Eva had already heard most of this and recognized where I stood, I could see my words had impacted her as well.
“I hate Charlie for what he did to you,” Eva spat.
“And I’m not a violent person, but I swear if I was, there wouldn’t be any place Charlie could hide that I wouldn’t seek him out and teach him a lesson.”
Although her words had indicated something awful, I couldn’t stop myself from chuckling. Amy was as far from violent as anyone could be. She was sweet and hopeful and romantic. “Maybe you should channel that energy into something else, Amy. While I love you for that level of loyalty to me, Charlie isn’t worth it. He doesn’t deserve any additional brain power. I’m moving on, and I think you should, too.”
“I’ll never forgive him for hurting you like he did.”
“So, don’t. I’m not asking you to do that. I’m not sure he even deserves forgiveness when he’s not sorry about what he did. But you don’t need to let it consume you like this.”
Amy tipped her head to the side and assessed me. “It’s consuming you.”
I blinked my eyes and jerked back. “What? No, it’s not. I’m moving on.”
Her brows shot up, silently questioning me, and it was Eva who said, “I think Amy believes that you’re allowing what Charlie did to stop you from finding real happiness again.”
I could easily understand where she was coming from. And I didn’t doubt that if the roles were reversed and Matt had done to Amy what Charlie had done to me, then I’d probably feel the way she did right now.
“Unless you go through this,” I started, my eyes darting between them. “And I’m talking to the both of you. You can’t understand the level of pain and fear that comes along with being betrayed by the person you love. I don’t ever want to go through that again, and maybe that’s sad. Maybe it’s cowardly to not want to take a chance again, but it’s the decision I’ve made. I’d really love it if you could take a step back and see that I’m doing what I’ve got to do to protect my heart and give myself what I need at the same time.”
I wasn’t quite sure I’d gotten through to Amy, but I could see the understanding leak into Eva’s features. “We’ll support you, Kat. Whatever you feel is right for you, we’re always going to be here for you.”
Smiling, I shifted my attention to Amy. “What about you?”
Slowly, she nodded. “If this is what you feel is best, I will support you. I just don’t want you to get hurt again. That’s all.”
“Well, I feel great right now. I had more orgasms than I can count last night, so there’s no need to worry.”
Eva bit her lip.
Amy took to pleading with me. “Promise you’ll be careful.”
The tension eased out of my shoulders. “I promise.” Noting she seemed satisfied with that, I decided it was time for a change of subject. “On that note, you two need to bring me up to speed on what’s happening in your own lives, the stuff you didn’t share at Mom and Dad’s. Because I think it’s only fair for me to be able to comment on that right now.”
My sisters both laughed, the tension in the air dissipated, and they happily moved the conversation along. The rest of the day had been lighthearted and fun. We had a blast with one another, laughing and simply having a great time.
Truthfully, it was just what I needed after what I’d experienced the night before. Had I been home, there wasn’t a question I would have been lost in thoughts about Graham, what I was doing, and if I was, in fact, making a mistake.
Having the time to just be with my sisters and enjoy their company did the trick in distracting me.
And after breakfast the next morning, before I left Amy’s house, I begged my sisters to come and visit me in Red. They promised they’d check their schedules and set something up soon.
So, I hugged them and said goodbye, but I couldn’t wait to see them again.