1. Chapter One
Chapter One
*Beginning of Fourth Wall Break: Listen, I know some of yall don’t read prologues, which is fair. But that one was extra important, so you might aught to go back and take a gander at it.
Additionally, quick reminder to go check those trigger warnings I listed iffin you need to.
End of Fourth Wall Break.*
***
-Eight Months Earlier-
Larken
I'm getting married.
In twenty minutes.
I'm getting married.
I'm going to have a husband. I'm going to be someone's wife.
In twenty minutes.
My last name is going to change. I won't be Larken Vincent anymore. I'll be Larken Nash. Mrs. Adrian Nash.
Mrs. Adrian Nash.
The next part of my life begins in twenty minutes.
As far as an eternity goes, twenty minutes isn't so bad. But I still have all of those minutes to pick apart my hair, my makeup, my dress, and my entire life while I stare at my reflection in the mirror. The only thing missing is the bouquet, which is with Regan right now. She's got the bouquet and the basket of rose petals Annaleigh is supposed to drop down the aisle.
My mother's dress needed only a few alterations. The top needed to be taken in just a little and the hem needed to be lifted a couple inches, but it fits perfectly. My father hasn't seen me in it yet. He wanted the full effect with the hair and the veil and everything. He promised he wouldn't cry, but I know he's going to.
I am a daddy's girl of epic proportion. I own that. We lost Mom when I was eleven years old and for the past seventeen years it's been just the two of us. Dad never wanted to remarry and I didn't complain. I was just a little girl and I reveled in his attention. We navigated our grief and took on our new world together.
He made sure I had the best of everything. The best clothes. The best shoes. The best vacations, and the best schools. He hired tutors when I needed them and I took years and years of cello lessons. I never became good at it, but that didn't stop him from encouraging me to keep at it. I wanted to be a concert cellist so badly and he didn't have the heart to tell me how terrible I was. He just kept shelling out money for strings and lessons and never gave up on me. I eventually came to terms with reality and gave it up, but the cello is still in the attic. Every now and then I go up there and look at it, but my fingertips start aching if I think about playing it for too long.
I stopped dreaming about playing cello when I was seventeen and started dreaming about becoming whatever I needed to be to help my dad with the company. I had an epiphany at one of my therapy sessions, I was an only child and I would eventually have to either run the company or sell it. And even at seventeen, I knew I would never give up my dad's company. He worked his whole life to build and build until he created Vincent Solutions and I wasn't going to let that go.
So I took every course my college offered that would help me help him and as soon as I graduated I started my internship on the ground floor. I wanted to really see how the company worked, to know everything about everything so I could do and handle it all. I loved it. I still love it.
Someone knocks on the door and I turn to open it but stop when Adrian's voice is on the other side. “It's me.”
“What's wrong?” I ask, panic creeping up the back of my neck as I open the door a few inches.
He laughs and starts pushing the door open. “Nothing, babe. Let me in. I brought you a wedding present. I want you to wear it.”
He can't be serious. He knows I've had my entire ensemble planned to the last detail for months. And he can't come in here. “You can't see me before the wedding,” I whisper-hiss, trying to keep the door from opening more than an inch or two. “It's bad luck.”
“Don't be ridiculous, Larken,” he says. “I'm just giving my bride a gift on our wedding day.” He pushes the door again and I have to make a choice between shoving my weight against it to keep him out or stepping back and letting him in. I don't want to get into a shoving match with my soon-to-be-husband and a door fifteen minutes before we get married, so I step back and out of the way. It's just a silly superstition anyway.
Adrian takes the time to look at me from head to toe. “The dress turned out really well. You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.” I want to gush about the work that went into the alterations and every single little change but Adrian holds up a rectangular jewelry box and hands it to me.
I open it to reveal a silver, heart-shaped pendant on a simple chain. There is a sapphire and diamond cluster in the center of the heart. It doesn't match anything. And I'm already wearing jewelry. “This is beautiful, Adrian. Thank you. But I'm already wearing my mom's jewelry.” He knows how important it is. He knows that I need to feel close to her today. We've talked about it so many times.
“I know,” he says. “But I really wanted you to have something special from me. And you don't have anything blue.”
He lifts the necklace from the box and holds it up. It's not ugly. It's actually lovely. But it isn't my Mom's pearls. “I love it, but...”
“You can do this one thing for me, can't you, Larken? It's just a necklace. I really want you to wear it.”
I can hear the disappointment in his tone already. I don't want to look into his eyes when we're standing across from each other at the altar and know that he's disappointed. And I am wearing my mother's dress.
“It's going to look beautiful on you.”
I sigh silently, pressing my lips together. I can wear the necklace. It won't look bad with the dress, it won't clash with anything at all. Lots of grooms give their brides jewelry to wear for the wedding. Right? “Okay. It is beautiful. Thank you. Are you ready for this?”
He laughs again. “Of course I am. I've been ready for this for a long time. Turn around.”
I turn away from him and try not to let my face show my small sadness as he brings the chain in front of me and fastens the necklace around my neck. The pendant rests just an inch below my collar bone. It really is beautiful.
“There,” he says, smiling. “Perfect.”
“Thank you, Adrian.” I watch my fingertips brush the delicate chain in the mirror and give him a small smile. “I love you.”
“Love you,” he answers. “I'm going to go get in my place before anyone starts looking for me. See you in a few minutes, babe.”
I close the door behind him and go back to the mirror. It feels wrong to abandon my Mom's necklace, but I don't think she'd mind. I think I'm just being emotional over the fact that my Mom isn't here with me for this. I wanted to do and wear everything that would make me feel closer to her today. But I really don't think she'd mind if I wear Adrian's necklace instead of hers. She would wear Dad's necklace. She probably wouldn't have any inner turmoil about it either.
Mom would have worn anything Dad asked her to because she loved him, but I love my mom and I want to feel her with me today. I don’t have to wear her necklace around my neck for it to be with me when I walk down the aisle, I can wrap it around my bouquet. That will make both Adrian and I happy.
A soft knock pulls my gaze from the mirror to the door again. “Are you ready?” Dad asks. “It's almost time to go.”
I look back in the mirror one last time while I'm still alone. One last moment to be Larken Vincent by myself before everything changes. Smoothing my hands down the bodice of the gown, I look myself over one more time to make sure everything is perfect. “I'm ready, Dad. You can come in.”
The doorknob twists and he slowly pushes the door open. He steps inside and closes the door behind him before he turns around to look at me. For a long moment he just stares at me in the mirror and I worry he's going to be upset about the changes to Mom's dress, as small as they are, but then his eyes fill with tears. “You look so beautiful, Larken.”
My eyes tear up, too. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Your mother would be so happy. I wish she was here to see you.”
“Me too,” I say thickly. “Now stop crying. You promised you wouldn't. And you're going to make me cry. Regan will kill both of us if I mess up my makeup.”
Shaking his head, he pulls in a breath and smiles. “No, we can't have that. Are you ready for this?”
“I better be,” I laugh. “I'm wearing the dress and the honeymoon is nonrefundable.”
“Well,” Dad nods. “Do a spin. Let me see the whole thing.”
I slowly turn in place, and stop when I'm facing him. “Mom's dress is so beautiful.”
“You're so beautiful,” he assures, looking like he might cry again. “But what's that?”
“What's what?”
“That,” he says, pointing at the skirt.
I look to where he's pointing and see a small dark stain on either the lace or the silk underneath it. “I don't know. I didn't see it a minute ago.” I bend to get a closer look and bite my lips to keep the scream from ripping out of my mouth. “It's a spider,” I whisper. “Help.”
I'm not utterly terrified of spiders, but I don't want them touching me and I don't want one to be crawling up the dress I'm wearing.
“Is it alive?” Dad asks, putting supreme effort into not laughing at me.
“Does it matter?” If I'm late for my entrance because of a spider, neither Regan or Adrian will let me live it down.
Dad steps closer to get a better look at the situation and hums as he straightens back up. “I've got good news and bad news.”
“Dad.”
He laughs gently and squeezes my arm. “The bad news is that its legs are stuck in the lace and we won't get it out without killing and possibly smearing it on the dress.”
Horror takes over my face at the thought of Mom's dress being smeared with spider. “What's the good news?”
“It's good luck to have a spider on your wedding dress on your wedding day. I don't remember the exact lore, but I remember my mom talking about how people used to sew a spider into their wedding dress for good luck, kind of like a blessing.”
“ Dad. ”
He laughs again. “It's only a tiny, little house spider, Larken. It will probably fall off as you walk, but that would be better than trying to get it untangled. Just roll with it. You're going to forget all about it as soon as your music starts playing anyway.”
Unlikely. “Probably not. But I don't want to ruin Mom's dress with a dead spider stain. You promise it isn't poisonous?”
“No, Larken,” he keeps laughing. “It isn't poisonous. Now let's go before you're late.”
Regan is straightening Annaleigh's dress when Dad and I walk into the entryway. She has my bouquet tucked under one arm while she tugs at the royal blue sash belt. She's my only bridesmaid, and would have been my Maid of Honor even if I had twenty bridesmaids, so she got to choose her dress. It's knee-length, strapless, and the same royal blue as the sash on Annaleigh's dress. To be perfectly honest, I chose the color pallet for the wedding around her dress because it looked too amazing on her to choose anything else.
“Now, try not to wiggle too much. You've only got to keep yourself together until the pictures, then you can change out of this dress. I know the lace is itchy, but the ceremony will only take about half an hour and we'll do your pictures first so you can get your comfy clothes on, okay?”
Annaleigh nods but she doesn't smile. We tried so hard to pick a dress that wouldn't be too itchy or too tight or too hot, but asking a four year old little girl to endure a fluffy dress for an extended amount of time on top of having to be quiet and follow instructions and smile nicely? Yeah. I bought her a few toys to make up for all that endurance.
“Annaleigh, you look just like a princess,” Dad tells her, then she smiles. “Where is Bryce?”
Regan smooths her dress as she stands up. “He ran for a quick bathroom trip. He'll be right back.” She notices my instant panic and pulls the small wooden box that holds the rings from the top of her dress. “I've got them. I wouldn't let that wild boy run to the bathroom with the rings. What do you take me for?”
“Thank you, Regan.” I release a breath of relief. “You're wonderful.”
Bryce comes rushing around the corner and I'm about to straighten his bow tie when the music starts playing from inside the sanctuary. We didn't want a wedding with a lot of moving parts, but I did want a flower girl, a ring bearer, a bridesmaid, and a traditional walk to the altar with my dad.
The big oak doors open just wide enough to allow Justin to slide through them. He looks down at the kids, nodding at each one, then smiles at me and Dad. “You look amazing, Larken.” Then he glances behind him at the closed door and offers Regan his elbow. “Shall we?”
“We shall,” she responds and hands me my bouquet and motions me to the side and out of sight of the door before she and Justin pull them both open wide enough to catch on their hinges. Their walking music starts and she tucks her hand over his arm and they step through the door.
I quickly wrap my mom’s necklace around the stems and ribbon dangling from the bottom of the bouquet and wait until the right cue from the music and motion Annaleigh and Bryce through. My dad looks at me and takes my hand in his. “You're going to do great. It's going to be alright.”
Then my walking music starts and I square my shoulders as I take my dad's arm so he can lead me down the aisle to the rest of my life.
***
The ceremony went perfectly. No one tripped, no one misspoke. No one cried except for me. Annaleigh survived the whole thing and made it through the pictures like a champ and is now wearing shorts and a tee-shirt to dance with anybody she can convince to take her to the dance floor. I think Adrian gave her and Bryce each a bunch of candy because they're both running laps around everyone else with suspiciously blue lips and sticky fingers.
My dad is sitting at a table with Adrian talking with the members of the board that we invited. Some of the board members are old friends of my dad’s and others are important connections. Either way, Dad asked me to put them and their plus ones on the guest list and I'm glad I agreed. I don't know who else my dad would have talked to; other than me, of course.
Regan's shoes are on the floor under the bridal table. She lost them about the same time Annaleigh lost her itchy dress. She's on the dance floor with her boyfriend now. Conner isn't a bad guy. What he lacks in direction he makes up for in affection. He adores Regan. He knows how lucky he is to have her and he spends a lot of time and effort making sure she knows it. The feeling is mutual, though. He gives her space to let go of herself a little and she needs that. Her job is very high-stress and he helps her feel like she's allowed to have a life outside of work and that it's okay to leave her job at work. I like Conner, I just wish he'd be a little more professionally consistent. I actually don't really know what Conner does for work. I just know that he flits around from job to job but he takes care of himself and keeps my friend happy, so I guess it doesn't matter in the long run.
Adrian catches my eye and excuses himself from his conversation. He smiles at me the whole time he's crossing the room. “Hey, babe. You doing okay?”
“I'm okay. I was just watching everyone for a minute. Everything looks really nice. How's the board meeting going?”
“Sorry,” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “It's hard not to talk shop when we're all together. It's almost time for the cake.”
“Then the bouquet toss...”
His eyes find Regan twirling on the dancefloor. “Think she'll catch it?”
“I'm going to hand it to her,” I laugh. “Then we're running out of here and making a beeline for the airport.”
We are very stereotypically taking our honeymoon in the sunshine of Hawaii. Adrian wanted to go to some ski resort, but I don't like snowy mountains enough to have my honeymoon there. I suggested Paris, which was still pretty stereotypical, but he rolled his eyes and we negotiated until we agreed to a week of being island tourists with all the other June newlyweds. The car is all packed with our luggage. All we're waiting on is the cake, the speeches, and the bouquet toss, then we're out of here and onto our next chapter.
As nervous as I was before the wedding, I'm not feeling any of it now. Everything feels the same between Adrian and I. I don't feel any different with this gold band on my finger than I did two hours ago when it was still in the little box. I'm taking it as a good sign. If everything is the same as it was before the wedding, then I don't have to worry about anything changing and potentially altering our relationship in a negative way. I want the same happily ever after and stability every other woman wants and I don't mind being stereotypical about it.