Chapter 26 #2
He stands, sets his drink down, and then – without hesitation – lowers himself to the floor and gets into that stripper position where they lean all the way back, using their hand behind their body to hold them off the floor, crotch to the ceiling, usually so they can gyrate.
‘I’m your horse,’ he jokes. ‘Ready to sit?’
I snort with a laughter. Oh my God, he’s serious.
‘Okay,’ I reply.
And so I take my seat. I sit on him like I’m riding him, his body between my legs.
‘You know what they say, Whit, save a horse, ride a cowboy,’ JJ reminds me. ‘Ride that boy, ride him.’
‘I think publicly straddling him is enough,’ Andy suggests. ‘Don’t embarrass her, JJ.’
‘I’m not embarrassed,’ I insist.
Jake moves beneath me, inadvertently resulting in me grinding on top of him. So JJ gets her wish.
I start laughing because it’s ridiculous and I can’t process anything else.
My laughter turns breathless. I tip forward, losing my balance, and I fall onto his chest, and we end up in a pile on the floor, me on top of him, our faces mere millimetres apart.
His arms wrap around me instinctively, holding me close like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
I could kiss him. I could swear he’s looking at my lips.
Maybe he thinks it’s a good idea too, all for the act, of course.
Is he… is he leaning…? Wait, am I leaning?
‘I don’t feel too good,’ Andy says, breaking the moment. ‘Perhaps we should call it a night?’
‘Oh no,’ Cordelia says. ‘Of course. It’s getting late anyway but, guys, honestly, such a top night.’
I climb off Jake without the smooth romantic timing I had when I fell onto him. It’s clumsy and awkward and, to be honest, so disappointing.
And we so we all gather our things and head out, taking the short taxi ride right back to the lodge. Of course, when we get there, nothing is plain sailing – everything is in darkness.
‘Oh my God!’ Cordelia wails. ‘What is this?’
‘I’ll check the fuse box,’ Andy suggests.
‘No point,’ Jake replies. ‘Power’s out everywhere. See, the big house, street lights, no lights anywhere around us. I guess we just have to wait this one out.’
‘What do we do?’ Cordelia asks, panic in her voice.
‘There’s nothing we can do,’ Andy says, ever so prickly.
‘I noticed candles inside,’ Jake says. ‘You guys wait here, I’ll go get them, set them out so you can see.’
Wow, even drunk he’s great in a crisis.
‘Thank you so much,’ Cordelia tells him. ‘You’re our hero.’
JJ hugs me for warmth while we wait. It’s a little chilly tonight – plus, she’s wearing a tiny, glitzy dress that looks amazing but it doesn’t look warm.
Jake eventually appears holding a candle, his face lit with golden light.
Cordelia clutches Andy’s arm as they head inside.
‘This is so scary,’ she says.
‘It’s only the power,’ Andy replies, but his voice is strained.
‘It’s the dark,’ Cordelia corrects him.
‘Now, now, let’s not fall out,’ JJ jokes.
Cordelia doesn’t hear. Or chooses not to.
Eventually we drift towards our rooms, guided by candlelight and tipsy exhaustion.
JJ squeezes my hand in the hallway.
‘Text me if you need me, bitch,’ she whispers.
‘For what?’ I whisper back.
‘I don’t know, I’m drunk,’ she says with a laugh and a hiccup. ‘Night night.’
‘Sweet dreams,’ I call after her.
I stand in the hallway with the candle flickering and my heart pounding, suddenly very aware that I’m about to be alone with Jake in ‘our’ room, after what happened at the pub.
Jake steps close enough that I can smell his aftershave.
‘You good?’ he asks softly.
‘I’m fine,’ I lie, because apparently that’s all I do now. ‘I don’t like the dark either.’
‘Don’t worry, I got you,’ he replies. ‘Come on, let’s get you to bed.’
Ever the gent, Jake sets the candle up in the bathroom while I’m in there, leaving himself in the pitch-black bedroom.
‘Thanks for that,’ I say, carrying the candle out carefully, not wanting to put it out. It seems like the longer it burns, the less effective it is. I swear, the room is getting darker and darker.
‘Tonight was fun,’ he says.
‘It really was,’ I reply. ‘Weird… but fun.’
I climb into bed. Jake perches next to me.
He looks at me for a moment like he’s deciding something. Like he’s about to say something.
And then the candle goes out.
‘Uh-oh,’ I mutter.
‘Shall I go get the matches?’ he asks.
‘No, it’s okay,’ I reply. ‘It’s dark… I’ll be okay, just… will you sit with me?’
‘Of course,’ he replies, climbing onto the bed next to me, taking up the space that is supposed to be for him.
‘Fun way to find out I’m scared of the dark,’ I say with a nervous laugh.
At least I think it’s the dark. Maybe it’s being here with Jake in the dark, feeling like no one can see what I’m doing – not even me.
‘You want me to stay close?’ he asks.
‘Please,’ I reply before my brain can stop me.
I don’t see him but I feel him. He scoots up closer but his weight in the centre of the bed creates a dip that sends me flying into him, my body crashing into his. I’m in my sleep vest and shorts, and he’s in his boxers, but it feels like we’re naked.
Jake sort of catches me in his arms. I don’t know if he knows it was an accident or if he thinks I’m throwing myself at him, but as his hands move up and down my body, ever so subtly, I can’t resist him a second longer.
I find his face with my own, planting my lips on his.
I’m going for something gentle, something to test the waters, but the bed sends me hurtling towards him again so I go in hot and heavy – and I stay that way.
Well, I’m here now, it’s pitch-black, we’re drunk, so surely none of this actually counts.
It’s like international waters. If no one can see it, or remember it properly, did it even happen?
Jake scoops me up, taking my waist in his hands, and sits me down on top of him. He holds me by the hips as we kiss, I run my hands up and down his body, over his biceps, through his hair – anywhere I can put them.
‘Jake,’ I mumble into his mouth.
‘Yeah, darlin’?’ he replies, his voice breathy and oh-so sexy.
‘This is crazy, right?’
‘Oh yeah,’ he replies.
‘We’re… uhhh!’ Words fail as he thrusts his body towards mind. ‘We’re drunk…’
‘Mmmhmm,’ he replies.
‘We’re…’
My voice trails off. Look, I’m doing the right thing, I’m talking it through with him, like an adult, except neither of us is making any attempts at slowing things down.
‘Do you want me to stop?’ he asks, pulling my strap from my shoulder, kissing his way down to my chest.
‘Don’t even think about it,’ I reply.
I whip my top off, showing him I mean business – of course he can’t see me, but he must be able to tell. He takes the lead, kissing me all over, touching every part of me, somehow frantic and teasing at the same time.
There’s something so sexy about being in the dark, it’s like it isn’t really happening, but it is. It’s like a dirty little secret, something we can plausibly deny if we regret it in the morning.
Will we regret it in the morning?
Right now, I don’t care.