Chapter Sixteen
T here.
Cador had slaked his stubborn desire and claimed Jem’s virginity. He’d spent himself fully and eased out of his husband’s deliciously tight body. Now he should roll away and order Jem to sleep on the hearth. Make it clear this would never happen again. That would be the smart thing to do.
Cador sighed. He’d never been renowned as a great thinker.
He brought Jem with him as he rolled to his back, tucking him under his arm and pulling the furs over them. Jem rested his cheek on Cador’s chest, and Cador smoothed his hand over his curls and played with the sweat-damp ends at the nape of his neck.
He was a damn fool, and he cursed himself violently even as he caressed Jem’s body, resting a hand possessively over his hip. Knowing he was the first man inside him satisfied a deep, primal instinct.
There was more, though. That Jem, who’d cowered on their wedding night, now trusted him enough to be bold and display himself, to give himself so eagerly without coy games—it filled a hollow place in Cador he hadn’t even known was there.
Suffused him with tenderness he’d never experienced. Tenderness he didn’t fucking want.
Tenderness that would destroy him if he wasn’t careful.
Jem had been caressing Cador’s belly with his fingertips, and he stopped, raising his head. “What is it?”
Cador had tensed without realizing it, his body rigid with the terrible knowledge of Jem’s fate and his part in it. But he would change that fate. He would earn the trust Jem had given so innocently. He would find a way, no matter the cost.
After a painful breath, he released the tension and focused on now. Now, they were safe. Jem was in his bed and no one had to know. In this moment, the future didn’t exist.
“Nothing,” Cador lied. He ran his hand over Jem’s arse. “Are you sore?”
Jem’s gaze flitted away, and he dropped his head, chuckling awkwardly. “I’m fine.”
Cador lifted Jem’s chin with a finger. “ Now you decide to be bashful?”
This drew a laugh, a full smile creasing Jem’s face. “Apparently.”
Making Jem smile gave Cador a dangerous contentment and feeling of peace. It would become an addiction if he wasn’t careful. But he was powerless to deny himself the luxury.
He gently slipped his fingers into the crease of Jem’s arse. Jem tensed, and Cador murmured, “It’s all right.” He could feel the wetness of his own seed and tried to ignore the pulse of satisfaction. “You’re not damaged?”
“I don’t think so. It’s a miracle, really.” Jem shot him one of those special grins, and his heart skipped. Propping himself on Cador’s chest with an elbow, Jem eyed his prick.
Lazily, he traced Cador’s soft shaft where it curled to the left. The touch was curious rather than inciting, wonderfully innocent. He teased the coarse hair at the base of Cador’s shaft and around his groin. It was intoxicating to be studied so intently, to be the subject of Jem’s quiet scrutiny.
Cador found himself spreading his legs, allowing Jem to investigate his spent bollocks—although eventually the lazy pleasure of the touch would spark into a fire once more. But before long, Jem snuggled back into Cador’s side, fitting under his arm.
They slept, and when Derwa woke them before dawn with hungry chirping, Cador ordered himself the strength to let this have been one night together and nothing more.
Yet he was weak. He kept Jem in his arms, nuzzling him with kisses until Jem squirmed free, laughing and complaining at how cold the floor was as he answered Derwa’s cries.
Naked, Cador built the fire and wrapped a fur over Jem’s shoulders. They watched Derwa hop around the crate, her yellow feathers full now. Soon enough, they’d turn gray and she would fly.
But not today.
“Do you want to ride?” Cador asked.
Jem’s eyes dropped to Cador’s prick, then flicked to the bed. His tongue darted out to lick his lips. Cador had to laugh and brush back a stray curl from Jem’s forehead.
“I meant Massen. We should go easy on your arse.”
Ducking his head with a shy smile, Jem said, “Riding horseback isn’t much easier.”
“True.”
“Don’t you have to hunt? Or does the snow stop you?”
Cador went to the door. “If snow got in the way of hunting, we’d have starved to death long ago on Ergh.” Brisk air peaked his nipples as he peered outside. “And it’s melting already—it’ll be gone by midday. I don’t feel much like hunting, though. Unless you want to try your hand at it.”
“ Me ? I couldn’t. I can barely trot on Nessa. Austol still has much to teach me.”
If that smug prick went near Jem again… “I’ll teach you.” He decreed it in the tone his grandmother had used when she would brook no arguments.
Instead of indignance or confusion or argument, Jem laughed. He grinned wickedly, which woke up Cador’s cock. Cador was about to demand what was so funny when Jem said, “He was right. You are jealous.”
“What? Jealous? Of Austol?” Cador scoffed and strode to the table, splashing water from a pitcher into a cup. “Don’t be stupid. I don’t care what Austol does. Besides, he favors women.”
“I know. He told me when I tried to kiss him.”
The metal cup hit the table with a clatter, water spreading over the battered wood. Cador coughed and choked down his mouthful. “When the fuck did you kiss him? You said you’d never!”
“I didn’t kiss him.” Jem was trying not to laugh. “I only leaned forward with the intent and he turned me down flat. You’d said we were both free to be with anyone we want.” His smile faded. “But you’re the one I want. I desired you from the moment I saw you across the temple.”
Shame that he hadn’t even noticed Jem on the other side of that same temple slashed at Cador, mixing with the absurd jealousy and frustration. Yet control was like smoke he grasped at uselessly, the wisps slipping through his fingers.
“Austol said—”
Growling, Cador plucked Jem off his feet and kissed him, invading his mouth with deep strokes of his tongue until they both moaned.
He tumbled Jem to the fur still spread by the hearth.
They rutted together, Jem’s smaller cock just as hard and hungry.
Cador took their shafts in his hand and worked them desperately, not pausing for the oil.
They spilled from the rough friction in no time, and Cador didn’t even feel ashamed at the speed, knowing he’d be hard again soon enough. Knowing he had so much more to be ashamed for.
Jem ran his hands over Cador’s chest and shoulders. He murmured, “It’s true.”
For a mad, panicked moment, Cador thought Jem had heard his thoughts. “What?”
Jem grinned. “What Austol said. That it would be easy to make you jealous.”
The relief was asinine. If Jem could know his thoughts, he would have run long ago. If Cador was a better man, he would tell Jem to run now instead of kissing him once more.
*
Screwing up his face and apparently his courage, Jem took a little run at Massen and tried to mount. He came closer than Cador expected, but Massen was twice the size of Nessa the gentle mare. Cador caught Jem’s arse and boosted him the rest of the way before he tumbled to the slushy ground.
They laughed, and Cador mounted behind him. He scratched behind Massen’s ears, leaning into Jem. How perfectly Jem fit before him, snug between his thighs. He could easily press a kiss to the top of his head, so he did.
It was as though he’d drunk far too much ale or mead, intoxicated by Jem’s mere presence. Dipping his head to nuzzle his cheek, Cador inhaled his sweet, earthy scent. Jem sighed contentedly, running his hands over Cador’s thighs.
“Or shall we return inside?” Jem murmured.
He chuckled and gave Jem’s ear a kiss, reaching down to rub Jem’s prick through his leather trousers. “First, we ride.”
Jem thrust against Cador’s hand. “You tease me cruelly.”
“Aye.” He rubbed the growing hardness. “I plan to torment you most of the day.”
With that, Cador took the reins and clucked his tongue, only needing to give Massen a nudge with his heels before they were off into the forest. In stark contrast to their tense slog north on the mainland, Jem seemed much more comfortable riding.
He had much to learn, but the stiff, constant strain was gone.
The memory of shoving him to the ground from the pale horse they’d ridden to the shore on the mainland struck him like a blow. Cador tightened his arm around Jem’s waist. He’d been so careless with him.
How strange to feel such peace and ease between them. Although it could not last, he again locked away those truths. Today, he rode with Jem safe against him. Today was not tomorrow. Today, he directed Massen on a trail north, away from Rusk.
The forest gave way to snow-patched fields where sevels had once grown and now only hardy vines snaked over the twisted trees’ ruins. Massen knew his way over the haunted tracts, and soon the sea’s salty kiss carried on the brisk wind.
Though the sky was gray as usual, the day did warm, the snow melting and ground soft with the promise of spring. They galloped atop the cliffs, which offered a sweeping view of endless white-capped waves and the black rock beach that extended along Ergh’s western shore.
Jem gasped, jolting so hard that Cador tightened his arm around him. A dred had soared up into view, massive wings spread as the wind carried it. The bird seemed to make no effort, harnessing the air as effortlessly as the little askells despite its size.
“A dred?” Jem shouted into the sharp wind as they galloped.
“Yes.” Cador reined in Massen so they could watch the bird—the beast —circle prey below the depths.
They meandered the cliff at Massen’s pace, letting him stop to graze the new sprouts of grass. Jem’s hand rested above Cador’s knee, and he drew idle circles with his thumb as they watched the dred. Without warning, the bird dove with shocking speed.