Chapter Seventeen #3
But he could help! He would help fix whatever this was. In the gray beam of light from the door, Jem strode forward and crouched by the girl’s bare feet. He reached out to take them so he and Austol could lift her thin body together, but his hands froze in midair.
As his eyes adjusted, he was aware of a strange sort of rash that covered the child’s feet and legs, stopping above her knees.
Her plain nightshirt was rucked up to mid-thigh, and Jem could see that the horrible marks were redder and fresher at the top as opposed to the old rash over her feet that looked brown and dry.
More than that, he could see that her legs were wasted. While she was thin generally, her lower legs were husks, and Jem was afraid to touch them. He crouched motionless, shame and fear battling.
“Get. Out.” Austol’s teeth were gritted, his face flushed. Behind his sister with his arms around her, he heaved. She screamed.
And Jem despised himself for hesitating even a moment. He took her lower legs under her knees, the limbs feeling boneless, her skin unnaturally parched. He lifted and Austol did too even as she screamed anew. They shifted her to the nearby narrow bed shoved against a wall beside the hearth.
Austol murmured comfort, tucking furs around her tightly and kissing her forehead. Jem flushed with shame as he realized that it was only once her wasted legs were covered that he could focus on her face.
She had the same long black hair as Austol, although it hung lank and stuck to the sides of her clammy face. Her eyes were narrow and nose small, wheat skin paler than her brother’s. Her face was contorted in agony. Jem couldn’t tell how old she was. Eight? Ten? Twelve?
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Jem tore his gaze from the shivering girl, retreating a step in the face of Austol’s snarl. “I’m sorry. I wanted to see you. I didn’t think…” He held up his hands and repeated, “I didn’t think. Forgive me.”
Austol squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his drawn face. He was sweaty and his tunic was stained. “Fine. Eseld needs to rest.”
Jem knew he must leave, yet his feet were rooted to the worn floor. “What’s wrong with her?”
Austol dropped his hands to his sides, brown eyes blazing. “Go, Jem. It’s none of your concern.”
“I only want—”
“Go!” Austol shouted so loudly Jem jumped. “How many times must I ask you?” Grief spasmed over his face. “Please.”
Jem whispered, “I’m sorry,” and backed away. But Eseld’s eyes followed him, and he faltered under her vacant stare. He’d never seen such an affliction, but of course what hardship had he ever witnessed aside from hatchlings who didn’t survive?
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, turning as a small, stocky woman barreled inside.
Her skin was pale and golden hair knotted atop her head. She jerked to a stop. “You.” Her tone was accusatory, yet her light eyes inspected Jem with apparent curiosity. Oddly, she wore a gray robe similar to those the clerics wore.
“He’s leaving,” Austol gritted out.
The woman, who was about their age, seemed transfixed by Jem, muttering, “Prince Jowan. A son of Onan. Favored by the gods.”
“Er…” Jem gave her a little bow. “It’s an honor to meet you. I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.”
“Hedra,” she answered, her avid gaze roaming over him.
Jem squirmed, backing toward the door. He felt rather like a horse being inspected for purchase. This was the woman who would be Austol’s betrothed—hadn’t Austol said she was a healer? Perhaps they wore robes on Ergh.
“Again, I apologize,” Jem said, backing right into another person in the doorway and finding Cador had arrived too.
Cador stood transfixed, staring at Eseld’s shivering frame. Horror was written plainly on his handsome face, but there was also a terrible grief that had Jem reaching for him.
Cador backed away from Jem’s touch, shaking his head. Jem followed, gently closing the cottage door behind them. His heart sank as he spotted Jory by the stable speaking with Bryok of all people.
Jem was embarrassed and confused, smarting from Austol’s anger, worried for Eseld, and unnerved by Hedra. The last person he wanted to deal with was Bryok, but fortunately the two men disappeared into the distance.
“What are you doing here?” he asked Cador. He grabbed at Nessa’s reins and led her back to the stable.
“What am I doing here? Massen needs a new shoe. What the fuck were you doing in Austol’s cottage?”
For a mad moment, Jem thought Cador might be jealous again, and his traitorous heart swelled.
But no, this wasn’t jealousy. “I only wanted to say hello.” He cringed at his high-pitched defensiveness and sighed.
“I heard a noise and thought Austol needed help. And he did! Although he asked me to leave and I should have respected his wishes.”
Cador sighed as well. “Of course you wanted to help. It’s not your fault.”
There seemed to be more Cador wanted to say, but he didn’t. The apprentice was busy with Massen in one of the far stalls, so Jem rubbed down Nessa himself while Cador paced in a brooding silence.
Finally, Jem quietly asked, “What’s wrong with his sister? Eseld.”
That horror and grief returned, creasing Cador’s face. Cador was silent so long that Jem was afraid to breathe lest he break the spell.
Tell me. Please.
Jem whispered, “I want to help.”
“I know. But she’s not one of your hatchlings.”
“Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”
Cador winced, rubbing his face. “If only I knew where to begin.” He gazed up at the high timber beams of the ceiling, as if the gods he didn’t believe in had written some answer there.
“You can tell me.” Jem waited, wanting to grab him and shake whatever this truth was free—or simply hold him and offer comfort. He pet Nessa instead.
Cador blew out a long breath before meeting Jem’s gaze. “I will. Can you give me a bit more time? I have so many thoughts.” He grimaced as he motioned to his head.
After the tension of what happened in the cottage and now Cador’s miserable expression, Jem tried to lighten the heavy air. “I imagine they have space to rattle around.”
For a moment, Cador only blinked. Then a laugh punched out of him, his cheeks dimpling. “So you can jest after all.”
Jem let himself laugh too, the relief sweet. “Who’s jesting?”
With a chuckle, Cador brushed a hand over Jem’s hair before his gaze grew serious again. “I will tell you everything. Soon. I swear it.”
Jem nodded. “I’ll be patient.” Honestly, as much as he wanted to know, he’d had enough strain and worry for the day. “I’m about ready for bed. It’s too early, though.”
“Well…” Cador leaned in, his lips brushing Jem’s ear. “It’s too early for sleep. What else could we do in bed to pass the time?”
Desire skated over Jem’s skin, his belly tightening. “Suppose we might think of something.” He stole his hands under Cador’s shirt, flattening his palms on—
“Jem!”
The girl’s joyous cry echoed through the stable as she and a dozen children stormed inside. Jem and Cador leapt back from each other as if they’d burst into flames.
“Yes!” Jem said. “Er, I’m here. Uh-huh.”
“Are you going to tell us more of the story?” Sowena asked, her dark braids swaying.
“Of course.” He glanced to Cador. “I suppose we aren’t in such a rush after all?”
Cador smiled at the children already gathering in a semicircle around the bale of hay that had become Jem’s perch for story time. “I suppose not.”
So Jem told them more of Morvoren’s adventures, even more parents arriving to listen in as well.
Cador stayed back, leaning a shoulder against Nessa’s stall and scratching her ears.
But he followed the tale just as intently as the children did, and Jem felt the pleasing weight of his gaze on him like a caress.
Later, Cador boosted him onto Massen. Staring up at him, he took Jem’s hand, tracing the branded tusks with his finger. Then he lifted Jem’s palm to his lips for a tender kiss before mounting behind him and spurring Massen toward the forest.
He’d known already he was falling in love with Cador, but now Jem soared.