Chapter 20
Alina
Iwoke up with Voss’s tongue between my legs. Too sleepy to protest and feeling too good to stop it, I let him make me come all over his face. When he was done, the glow of pleasure making my body soft and relaxed, Voss sat up with a satisfied grin.
“This is how I’ll wake you up every day.”
I smiled, shaking my head at how proud he was. And maybe he was right to be. From what I heard, most men had trouble making women come. But then again, he was no man. He was my monster.
“That’s an ambitious plan,” I said with a laugh, stretching luxuriously.
But then, Voss moved, jostling me, and I landed in a wet spot. I made a face and sat up. “I’ll change the sheets.”
He shook his head and took my hand to kiss it. “No, I’ll do it. And I’ll air out the room. You can take a shower if you want, and then we can do whatever you like.”
I nodded gratefully and went to my bathroom, noticing with pleasure I actually felt fine. I expected to have trouble walking, but it seemed like Voss’s saliva soothed everything.
As warm water pounded down my head and back, I let my body sag and release, finally coming to terms with what happened last night. What I allowed to happen.
I trusted him in ways I hadn’t even suspected I could trust anyone, and it was glorious.
Voss was so good to me. At night and in the morning, he took care of me. He was gentle and loving, he praised and caressed me, and the way he looked at me made my chest ache with hot fullness that was excruciating and wonderful at once. I made the right choice, then. I was right to trust him.
My mood was so good, I sang bawdy songs in the shower, and then spent a long time combing my hair and picking out a nice dress. I hadn’t made much effort to look nice before, just decent, but now I wanted to be pretty. For him.
I wanted him to look at me that way all the time. Like I was the most precious thing in his world.
We spent the day together, ambling lazily from task to task. Voss showed me the progress of his cacao beans and we stirred them in their wooden boxes to ensure they fermented evenly. Then, we turned the coffee beans that were drying in the sun. Voss explained he used a traditional method that consisted in drying the beans without removing the red coffee fruit, and it took longer than other methods but the coffee was better.
We took a long, rambling walk around the estate and he showed me the traps he set up every few days for his meat supply. He found small, pink fruits with spiky skin for me and I ate them. They were sweet and tart, my favorite new thing.
At one point, Voss stopped and went rigid, sniffing the air. He went into the bushes, his mouth tightening. When I asked what was wrong, his eyes gleamed with fury for a moment before they softened when he focused on my face.
That look of anger still made me shudder. Angry Voss was frightening and alien. I’d forgotten he could be this way, too. Lethal and predatory. A kernel of unease bloomed in my chest, and not even his calm explanation made it go away.
“I smelled harrsh’ak. They aren’t allowed on my land, which I made amply clear when you got here. They hunt humans. Usually, they stay out of my way because the entire jungle is theirs, while I have just a piece of the land. I don’t know why they keep sniffing around here. But don’t worry. I’ll keep you safe.”
The jungle rustled and screeched around us, teeming with life, and Voss picked a beautiful red flower and tucked it in my hair, probably trying to distract me from thoughts of scaly, four-eyed creatures skulking around.
“For you,” he said with that adoring look in his eyes.
I looked at my feet with a mumbled thanks when heat pulsed in my cheeks, because the flower’s color made me think about his cocks.
I had lunch, and then we sat down and Voss made a shopping list for the next visit to the village where he usually ordered supplies.
“There has to be something you want,” he said with an unhappy frown when I failed to tell him a long list of things to get for me.
I laughed and waved him away. “All the food you got for me was great. I can just have more of the same. I already eat way better than I ever used to in my life.”
Voss folded his arms on his chest and leveled a stubborn look at me, looking cross. “Those were just bare necessities. I want you to live like a queen, Alina. Well, as much as possible, considering the house… and me…”
He broke off, slumping a little as he looked away. I searched his face, wondering what he meant.
“Voss?” I prompted gently when he kept looking at the floor, the tip of his tail twitching in agitation.
“Hey, look at me.” He did, and I took a big breath to lay it out for him. “I already feel like a queen. And it’s not because of any food or whatever, but because of you. You make me feel this way. Everything else could go hang. I could eat cacao and those pink fruits all the time and still feel like royalty. All thanks to you. And how… how you look at me.”
It was my turn to stutter and look away, but I couldn’t look at the floor, because Voss was already there, on his knees at my feet, looking up with that obvious adoration that made my heart flutter with excitement.
“How do I look at you?” he asked, his entire manner changing. Dejected before, he was suddenly confident and intense, his clawed hands resting on my knees. “Tell me.”
I didn’t want to say what I really thought—like you love me and can’t live without me—so I said instead, “Like I’m made of diamonds or gold.”
Voss’s eyes glittered, and he smiled widely, taking my hand as he pulled me up to my feet. “You’re more precious than diamonds.”
I snorted. “You wouldn’t say that if you could get any. As it is, you just have me.”
Voss’s smile widened into a toothy grin as he tugged me out of the kitchen and down the hall. “I want to show you something.”
I followed him to a door I’d never walked through before. Voss lit a lamp and opened it, revealing dark stairs leading down into the basement.
An unpleasant itch crawled down my back, but I pushed the foreboding away and took his hand, forcing myself to follow easily. The air here was cold, and I shivered from the sudden drop in temperature. Voss climbed down steadily, tugging me along. The stairs were just wide enough for us both. They creaked ominously with every step.
“It’s just through there.” At the bottom of the stairs, Voss pointed at a gaping archway that loomed on the other side of the basement. It seemed to ooze black darkness, and I shivered, pressing closer to him even as more squirmy suspicion crawled up my neck.
I couldn’t stop it. He led me into this dark, unpleasant place right after I bared myself to him. My imagination ran rampant, trying to figure out what lurked in the cold darkness. What did he want to do? Why here? I shivered hard, but my sickly feeling of dread was accompanied by an odd relief.
Because maybe now that I trusted him completely… he would strike. The betrayal I waited for would finally happen.
I hated that I thought it, but the basement was creepy, and I couldn’t comprehend why he would bring me here. I had half a mind to turn back, but Voss’s hold on my hand was tight. Suddenly, his hand felt like a manacle rather than support. I stumbled in terror. Mute and terrified, with my heart hammering from fear, I followed along, hoping against hope he might be merciful if I played along.
“I know you’re cold,” he said, his voice echoing against the stone walls. “I’m sorry, I should have thought of grabbing you a sweater. Here, let me make you warm.”
I recoiled when he tried to put his arm around me. The lamp jostled in Voss’s hand, making the shadows dance. Something skittered in the dark, and I bit back a whimper of terror.
“Alina?” Voss asked, peering into my face. “Are you all right?”
“Fine,” I bit out, my voice sounding high and strangled. “What did you want me to see?”
He frowned but didn’t question me any longer. His hold firm, he led me under the archway into a smaller room. The light from the lamp revealed a few heavy, wooden chests. Voss handed me the lamp and let me go, bending to open the closest chest.
I had a sudden urge to bash him over the head with the lamp and run, but he hadn’t done anything, had he? Yet, my frantic mind pointed out. He hasn’t done anything yet.
I raised the lamp higher, but Voss already straightened, the wooden chest open at his feet. It was large, the size of half a coffin—perfect to bury your body if he tears you in half—and Voss grinned when he pointed at it, his sharp teeth flashing eerily.
“Here! Take a look.”
He scooped something out of the chest with a sort of dry, tinkling sound. I blinked, staring at his palm as he brought it closer, so the lamp lit it up.
Voss watched me expectantly, and I stared and stared, feeling stupid and completely irrational. Feeling broken.
“Alina?” he prompted after a while, in which I just stood there, shaking from the cold and staring at the pile of glorious, glittering light he held in his hand. It was gorgeous. Beautiful.
I cleared my throat, and yet, my voice was still hoarse when I asked, “So, are these… diamonds?”
I brought the lamp closer, and the change in light revealed enchanting prisms, colors dancing in Voss’s hand like magic. The sight was like nothing I had ever seen, and my hands itched to touch that incredible, magical beauty, but I held back. I wasn’t worthy.
Voss nodded and plucked a few stones from the pile in his hand, handing them to me. I stepped back, refusing the gift, and he dropped his hand, looking at me with concern.
“Oh, you’re cold, of course. We can take a few up. I usually keep them here so nobody sees… Then again, it’s not like anyone visits us, for now. Well, come on up. Let’s get you warm.”
He took the lamp from my hand and led me out of the basement, which now seemed harmless and ordinary, just a space under the house where he kept his treasures.
The basement was fine. It was me that was the problem.
I tried not to think about it as I went about the rest of my day. After I cooked myself a simple dinner, just heated canned tuna and pasta, we spent most of the afternoon in the dining room. Voss explained about the diamonds.
“From what my parents told me, diamonds used to be a common thing in our world before the Shift. Still precious, but not nearly as much as here. They used to be our currency, and so when the Shift happened, my ancestors had entire treasure troves of them. They passed that wealth on, and here I am, with entire chests full of diamonds. And I still find you more precious.”
I sighed wistfully, looking at the five clear stones that shimmered in the light of the lamp on the table. I still didn’t dare touch them, but they beckoned. So beautiful.
“So when I ask what to get for you, Alina, I really mean it,” he continued, taking my hand in his. “You can ask for anything. We can afford it. In fact, it would be my pleasure to spend my ancestral wealth to pamper you. I mean it.”
That made me smile. “Well, leave some for the kids,” I muttered jokingly.
Voss’s face lit up in a wide smile, his sharp teeth flashing, and I shivered, the echo of my terror still pulsing in my blood. Gods, what was wrong with me?
I couldn’t stand sitting idly while my body was in turmoil, so I got up and went to the window, looking out at the jungle. Dusk was falling, the green, glossy leaves growing darker, some flowers closing their blooms to protect their petals in the night. A gleaming, gold beetle crawled up the trunk of a nearby tree.
When Voss stood behind me, his hands gently encircling my waist, I sighed and resisted the urge to shake him off. This time, I didn’t loathe his touch because I was afraid. It was because I was broken and didn’t deserve him.
“Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” Voss asked quietly. I noticed his faint reflection in the glass as the world outside darkened. “Will you tell me what it is?”
I closed my eyes, wondering how best to put it. Still I knew however I said it, the truth would hurt him.
And yet, he deserved the truth from me, so I wanted to explain as well as I could that I was the problem, not him.
I was afraid you’d hurt me in that basement and I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s irrational and I know I’m wrong. I’m terrified Liam broke me and I’ll never be able to trust you completely.
That sounded good enough. Honest and to the point. I braced my shoulders and turned, braving Voss’s kind, worried eyes. They were focused on my face with an intensity that made my body heat with little tingles.
I opened my mouth to speak. Voss’s eyes flickered to the side. Next thing I knew, his face was twisted with rage, teeth bared, a snarl tearing out of his throat.
He punched the window behind me and I dropped to the floor with a scream, covering my head as glass shards rained down on my back.