Chapter 19
Brooks
M y phone vibrates on the bedside table. I reach for it, and Gracyn stirs, trying to move off my chest, but I tighten my other arm around her, pinning her down. Her soft laughter vibrates against me as I stretch to grab the phone. When I see that it’s Judith calling, a sense of worry slams into me. The only reason she’d be calling me past midnight is bad news. My stomach twists as I swipe to answer.
“Judith, what’s wrong?” I ask, my voice sharp. Her cries fill the line, and I jerk upright. “Judith,” I repeat, more forcefully this time. “What the hell is going on?”
“I’m sorry, Brooks,” she sobs. “I didn’t know what to do.”
Her words slam into me like a freight train, and my breath catches in my throat. “What happened?”
“When …when we got back from the zoo, after we talked, Presley started feeling bad, and then she threw up her dinner. There’s a stomach bug going around school. So, I called Addison and told her I’d keep her at home so she didn’t spread it.”
Her words tumble out in a frantic rush. But so far I haven’t heard anything to explain the raw fear in her voice. My grip tightens, waiting for her to continue.
“Poor thing, wouldn’t stop throwing up. I got her settled, and she seemed like she was done and fell asleep. When I checked on her a half hour later…” She breaks off, sobbing so hard that her words come out garbled, but I catch the next part clearly enough to knock the wind out of me. “Her body was limp. And she wouldn’t wake up. Oh god, Brooks,” she cries.
The room tilts, and I reach out, steadying myself against the wall as panic rises to a dizzying spin in my chest.
“Did you call 911?” I yell over her cries, ready to lose my mind.
“I just. This has never happened?—”
“ Give me the damn phone ,” Addison rumbles in the background. “She’s fine, Brooks,” she says matter-of-factly.
How hard was that to say? I let out a shaky exhale, relieved to hear those words, and fall back on the bed, covering my eyes with my arm. My heart tried to escape through my chest. Breathe, Handley .
“She’s in the hospital for the night,” Addison continues. “She’s dehydrated. They said the stomach bug is running rampant in the schools right now.”
“The hospital?” I jump up again, gathering all my stuff and shoving it in my bag. Gracyn rushes to the bathroom and comes out with my overnight bag, tossing it inside my suitcase. I mouth a quick “thank you.”
“She’ll be okay, Brooks. I’m not going anywhere. She’ll probably be able to go home tomorrow.”
“Thank you. But I’m headed home.”
“How did everything go with … you know who?” She whispers the last part.
She wants to talk about this now ?
My brain is barely functioning, and the only thing I can focus on is that my daughter is in the hospital, scared to death, and her only parent isn’t there.
“Fine. Good. I’ll tell you about it later,” I mutter, glancing at Gracyn. “I’ll call when I land. Text me the hospital and what room she’s in.” A text pings on my phone before I can take another breath. I glance down at it, my heart hammering.
My brain is in a scrambled state. I know who I need to call, but I can’t focus long enough to make it happen. “Goddamn it!” I yell into my phone in frustration. “ Shandra Rose. Shandra Rose . Find fucking Shandra Rose ,” I murmur to myself, scrolling through my contacts like a madman. My travel agent’s name pops up, and I press call.
She answers on the first ring. “I don’t normally work at midnight, but then again, you’ve never called me at midnight.” She chuckles into the phone.
“I need a flight home. Like right now,” I bark.
“Is everything okay?” Concern fills her voice as the faint clatter of keys echoes through the line.
I choke up, telling her about Presley. I’ve failed as a father.
“Got you on a flight. It leaves in an hour and a half.”
I exhale, muttering my thanks before hanging up. My mind races, spiraling through what-ifs and regrets, as I try to shove my emotions into a locked box.
Gracyn stands at the door, dressed and holding my luggage by the time I hang up. Her forehead creases with worry. “Ready?” she asks, holding her car keys up, not needing to ask a million questions, instead understanding the urgency of the situation. I like this woman more and more every time I’m with her.
The drive to the airport is a blur as my imagination runs wild, conjuring up the worst-case scenarios, each more terrifying than the last, but Gracyn lays her warm hand on my leg, grounding me in the moment, to the here and now.
I roll my head in her direction. “What if?—”
Her fingers tighten. “Don’t do that,” she interrupts. “This will be the longest flight of your life, but try to think good thoughts. It sounds like she’s in excellent hands. I have a feeling your sister will be in total control of the situation.”
“I can’t stop imagining my baby girl in pain.”
“Keep telling yourself that she’s surrounded by people that love her. She’s getting what she needs in the hospital, and she’ll be in your arms in a few hours.”
Slumping forward in my seat, I bury my face in my hands. “I should’ve been there,” I mutter, my voice muffled and strained. “Instead of here, blaming you for something you didn’t even do. I just … I keep screwing up.”
Guilt is a heavy beast.
When Gracyn pulls into the drop-off lane, I can’t help but fixate on the couple in front of us. The old man dropping them off gives them tight embraces, especially the woman who I assume to be his daughter. I watch him gaze adoringly at her, waving as she walks away. I wonder if he ever experienced moments like this where guilt and fear clawed at him. Was he ever absent when his daughter needed him the most? Did he ever experience the crushing weight of wondering if he was enough?
Once he drives off, I turn to Gracyn, who’s staring at me with a concerned expression, and I sigh, letting my gaze linger on her. Sexy Gray. Even when she’s not trying to be. “Thank you for driving me.”
“Of course.”
I reach over, grabbing her hand and threading my fingers through hers. I pull her hand to my lips, kissing her knuckles. “Thank you for kicking me out. And accepting my apology. And taking me to the airport.”
She smiles, then wrinkles her nose. “I don’t expect you to be at the court date now. So, I guess this is goodbye.”
Hello, reality.
I nod a couple of times. Since the court date is only a few weeks away, there is no way I’ll be leaving Presley’s side any time soon.
Silence fills the car, and not the comforting kind. The surrounding horns and bus traffic fade away. I cup her face, and with a quick tug, her lips are on mine in an instant, and that addicting taste of hers pulls out a groan from deep in my chest. I always crave more when we’re together.
She jerks out of my grasp in surprise when someone knocks on her car window. A police officer’s stern gaze motions for her to get moving. Her cheeks flush a deep shade of red, making me chuckle as I exit the car.
I steal one last look over my shoulder, taking her in. “Bye, beautiful thief.”
She smiles, shaking her head.
“If you’re ever in New York, you know my number.”
* * *
As I step into the hospital room, my heart plummets into my stomach. The sight steals my breath away. My baby girl, lying perfectly still in a bed, surrounded by wires and machines, her small body barely visible in the dim light. I struggle to stay on my feet, the overwhelming fear threatening to consume me. Pull your shit together . I have to be strong for her, to hold her in my arms and tell her everything will be all right. Because it will. It has to.
I swallow hard, pushing down the fear clawing at my chest, and make my way to her bedside with shaky legs.
“Daddy,” Presley whispers, lifting her little hand to me, and my eyes well up with tears. Judith’s lying next to her on the bed. Her eyes open, and I can see the relief on her face as she slides off the bed.
I take Presley’s hand, and as much as I want to crawl into the bed beside her, I fear I’m too large and don’t want to pull on any of the wires, so I fall to the side of the bed, resting my head on her stomach. The last time I cried was the first time I held her, and I blink back the tears before picking my head up. “Hey, Snarky. How are you feeling?”
“Better now that my tummy isn’t coming out of my mouth anymore.”
“I bet.” I watch her eyes flutter closed, but she fights to keep them open. “Go to sleep, baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
I wait for her breathing to slow before I stand up, but I can’t stop staring at her. Judith joins me and starts tucking her blanket around her small body to keep her warm.
“Thank you. Thank you for being here for her.” My voice is hoarse with emotion as I pull her into a hug. The relief that Presley’s okay is overwhelming. “Are they sure it’s the tummy bug?” I ask, still not ready to let her go. She’s the only thing stable at the moment for me to grab onto.
Her arms tighten around my waist. “Fairly certain. They say it might be food poisoning, but with other kids having it, they’re more inclined to go with a stomach bug. But she’s already so much better than when we first got here.”
The hug lingers so long that it becomes awkward, so I release her and walk over to the chair, sinking into it. I slump back, exhausted. It’s been a long day.
Judith grabs a blanket and hands it to me. “It reclines to a bed.” She points to a lever on the side. “Addison went home about a half hour ago to grab some things, but she’s coming right back. I guess I’ll go home and be back in the morning. I’ll bring some breakfast.”
“That’d be great,” I say.
She reaches for my hand and squeezes it once.
“Thank you, again. I can’t even imagine what we would do without you.”