Chapter 39
Brooks
S he stares at me with those wide, beautiful, uncertain green eyes that have haunted me every night for months. My chest heaves as I give her a moment to catch her breath, to process. Maybe I shouldn’t have grabbed her and kissed her, but I couldn’t stop myself. Not when she was standing right in front of me, so close the pull of her gravity took hold of my heart.
And then she pushed me away. And left .
Why is it that everyone wants something from me, except the one person who I’d give everything to?
Charli takes her drink from her hands and offers a small smile as she brushes past me, leaving us to ourselves. I stand at the entrance of the alleyway, not to intimidate her, but to stop myself from reaching out for her again. And, if I’m being honest, to make sure she doesn’t run. Not that I want her to feel trapped, but dammit, we need to talk. Right here. Right now.
Addison gave me her address, and I parked outside her apartment building at 6 a.m. this morning, waiting. It bordered on being stalkerish, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Sure, I could’ve called her— probably should have —but I needed to see her face. Her eyes. I needed proof she lived here.
I followed Gracyn and Charli into the coffee shop, and when she ordered a drink, I took it as a sign. I knew what I needed to do. But now, standing here, face-to-face with her after she walked away from me, the words I’d rehearsed a million times catch in my throat.
I clear my throat. “I’m sorry. I should’ve done a lot of things differently.” I drag my hand across my beard. “But I wasn’t in the headspace to fix everything I messed up. Especially not with you. I was scared, but that doesn’t excuse the way I treated you.”
She blinks her long, endless lashes, staring at me, her expression unreadable. The tension between us is killing me.
Just say something.
She crosses her arms defensively over her chest and murmurs, “I’m not here for you.”
Well, that fucking hurt.
I thought she’d be happy to see me. At the very least, interested . I figured she was afraid to reach out because of how things left off between us.
Not because she hated me.
What on earth possessed Addison to give me her info, knowing how she felt?
I crack my neck, nerves getting the best of me. My immediate reaction is anger, hot and sharp. The only woman that I’ve ever imagined myself with now lives a few miles away. The thousand-mile barrier isn’t there anymore, and all she has for me is she’s not here for me.
Why is she here then?
I draw in a calming breath, square my shoulders, and step to the side, giving her an exit. “Okay.”
Her eyes widen, surprised by my callous reply. Not as much as I am by her dismissal, though. What the hell does she want me to say?
I throw my hands up. “Jesus Christ, Gracyn. Help me out a little here. I’m trying.” Raw emotions I haven’t mastered spill over. “So, if not for me, why are you here? You said you hated New York.”
She stands her ground, stubborn as ever. “I never said I hated it . I received a job offer and thought it would be a great opportunity to get out of Vegas.”
I narrow my eyes. “You already had a job. But you could have gone anywhere. Why here , Gracyn?”
She doesn’t answer. Her gaze darts to the ground as she paces the narrow length of the alley. I watch her, knowing there’s more than what she’s saying. She can lie to herself all she wants, but she’s here for me.
Finally, she stops and drops her arms to her sides. “I … I don’t know. Brooks, your life is a circus, and I question whether I belong in the ring.”
A circus? Is that how she sees me? “It’s not really.”
She gives me an incredulous stare. “Oh, come on, Brooks,” she snaps. “Reporters, cameras, the constant attention. Being with you means signing up for all that chaos. It means giving up my privacy, my peace, my normal life.” She pauses and looks past me. “I’m surprised there’s not a camera here right now.”
I release a sigh, guilt heavy on my chest. The hell the reporters put her through wasn’t fair. They never are. I wanted to protect her from them, to shield her from the storm, but once the story was out there, the narrative spiraled out of control. And it was not in her favor.
“I know it can seem that way,” I admit, having become numb to it. “But it dies down when there isn’t a story. They move on.”
“It’s not only that, Brooks. Well, it’s mainly that because we’ll always be in the public eye. I’m afraid you’ll regret choosing me when I fail at being your wife. There’s so many expectations that come with that job. I’m a first-grade teacher. I enjoy cutting and pasting things. Doing fun projects with crayons and paint and scrapbooking.”
She’s so much more than that.
“Stripped bare, I’m just a man who’s in love with a woman who stole his coffee,” I say softly, trying to express myself in the most vulnerable way. “Everything else is background noise. The only expectation I have is that you’ll be you. Because you, Gracyn, are perfect.”
The tension in her shoulders releases. She blinks, trying to hold back tears. “Geez, when you say things like that.” She hiccups, pressing a trembling hand over her mouth.
I close the gap between us and wrap my arms around her waist and pull her close. Her warmth, her scent—it’s everything I’ve missed and more. Her wide, tear-brimmed eyes meet mine, and I hold her gaze, refusing to let her look away.
“I’ve never been so certain about anything in my life,” I tell her, my voice as certain as today is Saturday. “You are the one for me. Let me prove it to you. Let me prove to my wife that I will do anything to make this work.”
She shakes her head slightly, a soft, disbelieving laugh escaping. “You had something to do with our postponement, didn’t you?”
I let out a chuckle. “Like I said … anything .”
“I can’t believe you.”
I wink down at her, biting my bottom lip. “He only gave me a week.”
“Your confidence might actually be bigger than your ego,” she teases, but then her expression softens as she studies me. “We’re going to take this slow, Brooks.”
“We’ll take it as slow as you need.” I stare at her, excitement and hope building in my chest. This is it. Don’t screw it up this time, Handley. “Will you go on a date with me?”
“Date?”
“Isn’t that the normal thing two people do when they first meet?”
She snorts. “We’re way past the point.” She takes a quiet moment, mulling it over. “What if I say we should get the annulment?”
I swallow hard, her words hitting me square in my ego. If that’s what she needs to start over, I’ll push my pride aside and give it to her. “If that’s what you want. But it’s not going to change the fact that I love you.”
Her eyes search my face for sincerity. I hope she can hear my heart because it’s drumming right now. For her .
I don’t need her to say it back. She’s here. That’s proof enough for me. “But let’s take the week, and we’ll swing back to this then.”
Her green eyes widen with a faint smile on her lips. “You think you’ll win me over in a week, huh?”
Now that there aren’t any barriers, I have no doubts this woman is mine. “It only took me a night to get you to marry me.”