Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
C ecilia’s breath caught in her throat.
“Truly?” she asked.
He nodded. “I wanted you long before you walked down the aisle.”
“Oh,” she said. She could not think of anything to say that would properly capture the sense of overwhelming relief—and overwhelming desire, to know that the man she so burned for also burned for her, in return.
He cleared his throat. “But you were the sister of my best friend, of course. So I tried to push down whatever feelings I may have had, in order to preserve the friendship. But from the very first moment I saw you, Cecilia…” He shook his head. “I had thoughts about you that one might say a man should only have about his wife.”
“Not you.” He looked up at her, surprised, only to see a playful spark back in her eyes. “Rake that you are,” she teased.
He laughed. “Were,” he corrected. “I am an honest man, now. Just ask the bishop.”
As they stared at each other, the tension built between them, until Cecilia longed to close the distance, longed for him to undress her and press his body against her and pleasure her in every way he had a few nights before.
Thinking of that night, she bit her lip. Would it be untoward to ask what was on her mind?
And yet—she had planned this night so that they could be honest with each other. What was the point, if she felt she had to censor her questions around him?
“Why did you leave?” she finally asked. “The other day. After…” She trailed off.
Ian dipped his head to catch her gaze, smirking mischievously. “After what?”
She flushed. “After we spent the evening together,” she finally said. “You left so suddenly. Was it something I did wrong?”
“No,” he said, “shaking his head emphatically. “Not at all. You were perfect. I just had some business to attend to, and did not wish to disturb you.”
Yes.” She nodded, though the answer did not fully satisfy her. “Yes, of course.”
“And…” He sighed. “I was worried you may have regrets,” he admitted. “About the night we spent. I know we agreed at first that we would only have a marriage in name alone. No physical interactions. I did not wish for you to feel taken advantage of.”
“Not at all!” she protested. “I…” She bit her bottom lip. “I felt the same way about you,” she confessed. “That you felt about me. Since the first moment we met, I wanted you, in ways I did not even fully understand at the time. I never imagined I could feel that sort of…heat, before.”
“So,” he said finally, breaking the silence and the tension. “It seems we both were fools, to have such desires and avoid acting on them for so long. Pretending, all this time.”
“Yes.” She looked at him again. “But I suppose we do not need to pretend anymore, do we?”
He met her gaze. That irrepressible smirk began to curl up at the corner of his lips, rendering him even more deliciously handsome than before. “No,” he replied. “I suppose we do not. After all, you are my wife.”
“You are my husband,” she agreed.
“And since you have just confessed to wishing I would ravish you since the moment we met…”
That got a giggle out of her. “I said no such thing!” she protested through her laughter. “Merely that I found your appearance…pleasing.”
“Perhaps that is all you said,” he replied, drawing closer to her. “But it is not all you felt.”
“Oh?” she asked. Her entire body heated at the proximity to him. “And are you a fortune teller, now, that can read my mind?”
“Not your mind, Cecilia. Only your body.”
She smiled. “What, pray tell, is it that you think you can read in my body?”
Ian leaned in closer, closing the distance between them. “The way your cheeks flush deliciously, like so.” He cupped her face, running a thumb over her cheek. “The way your chest heaves whenever we are close.” His other hand came around her waist, pulling her in closer. “And the look you give me. The way your lips part, red and beckoning, as though you are asking me to kiss you.”
“I am asking you to kiss me,” she replied, a bit breathless already.
“I should like to do much more than kiss,” he said lowly, the heat in his eyes letting her know that he meant every word. “Much, much more.” His eyes flickered down to her lips. “But I do wish to…be certain again, that you will not feel…”
“Feel what?” she whispered.
He paused. “This is not a love match,” he said.
She blinked. “Of course,” she said, laughing slightly, though there was a slight tone of hurt. “Of course I know that.”
“Oftentimes I have known people to confuse physical intimacies for…further emotions.” He tilted his head, holding her gaze intently, as if to make absolute certain she was understanding the meaning of what she was saying. “I do not wish to confuse you thus.”
Cecilia paused.
It was not what she had hoped to hear, certainly. While she had not expected a confession of love, by any means, it was a bit startling to once again hear him so firmly set his stance against it.
But perhaps she should simply be grateful that he was honest. After all, it was consistent with his character as she knew it.
After a long moment, she shook her head, still holding his eyes. “I knew you from the first to be a rake, my lord,” she finally said. “Why would I expect anything more?”
Ian nodded, his whole being seeming to relax. “Very well.” He nodded again, then leaned in. “In that case…I suppose I can oblige your request for a kiss.”
Cecilia tilted her head up to a more sensible angle.
And with that, he pressed his lips to hers. Gently, at first, as though it were the first time again.
Soon, though, they deepened the kiss, almost simultaneously, each one pulling the other in so tightly that they could almost drink in each other.
It was just as she remembered that day while he fenced, all the splendor of his strong, muscular form before her. His shirt abandoned, he pulled in closer, kissing her more fiercely still. His tongue ravaged her mouth. The heat of his skin pressed against hers was like nothing she had ever felt before. She pulled him closer, begging him with her body and with the press of her lips against his.
“Ian,” she said breathlessly once they had pulled apart. “I want more.”
“As do I,” her duke replied, before kissing her deeply once more.
They moved down, still kissing. The blanket felt cool and soft beneath Cecilia as she was lowered to her back.
“Wait!” She almost knocked her head into his as she jolted, sitting slightly back up.
“What?” he replied, sounding equal parts lustful and alarmed.
“Should we go inside? To your chambers, or mine?”
He blinked down at her, as though he could not fathom what was bringing her to ask. “Do you want to go inside?”
“I do not think I have the patience,” she admitted.
Ian huffed out a relieved laugh. “Thank heavens,” he said. “I do not know what I would have said if you had said otherwise.”
“But I must admit I am a bit worried about…” Cecilia bit her lip and glanced at the window. “Well, what if the servants see?”
Ian raked his hands through his hair. “A fair point,” he admitted. Pressing one last quick kiss to her lips, he pulled her to standing. “Come,” he said. “Let us go.”
As soon as they were inside her chambers, they could not stop kissing. They nearly stumbled to the bed. Cecilia lay down, pulling him atop her.
He pulled away only to rid himself of his shirt, pulling her up so that he could make quick work of her gown, with her assistance. It was a bit difficult to do while lying down, but they managed.
His hand brushed the back of her corset, making quick work of the laces.
Once she was down to her shift, Ian paused. He leaned back, eyes dragging across her figure as she looked up at him.
Beneath the thin fabric of her shift, her nipples were peaked, and her chest rose and fell with the quickness of her breath. With her knees bent slightly up, the bottom of her shift pooled at her hips. Her eyes traced a similar trail across his bare chest, taking in the strong muscles cast in sharp, devastating relief by the moonlight streaming in through the window.
He reached down and lifted her shift over her head. Cecilia raised her arms above her head. The feeling of the silk sliding down her body was second only to the feeling of his hands replacing it, caressing her naked waist as she reached for the buttons of his shirt.
The feeling of the cool air on her skin when she was in such a state of arousal was a new and unexpected delight, a pleasant chill. It was a fine contrast to the heat of his fingers on her newly bare skin.
She reached up, now, and pulled him down into another kiss, arching up to press her bare chest against his. The feeling was like nothing she had ever felt before.
Soon enough, his fingers found their way back between her legs. She let her head fall back against the bed with pleasure as he circled her most intimate areas, pressing into her in a way that nearly had her arching up off the bed, even before he climbed down between her legs and pleasured her as he had that first night.
This time, he did not tease her quite so much. Now he had already tasted her once, it seemed he had memorized every reaction he wanted her to make. As though she were a well-loved book he had read so often that he knew exactly what pages to flip to. Within minutes, he had her writhing on the bed in pleasure.
But this time, just before she could reach that marvelous peak once more, he stopped.
Before she could complain, he started again. This time, he slipped a finger inside her, slowly. Once he was certain she had adjusted to it, he added another, using them together with his tongue over her core to make her feel unimaginable pleasure.
But once more, he did not allow her to arrive at a climax.
Again and again, he brought her right up until the edge of ecstasy, only to deny her the opportunity to tumble over. By the fifth or sixth time, she was nearly out of her mind with lust.
“You are going to drive me mad if you keep doing that,” she warned him, though she could not help but press her hips up in search of more.
He pulled his fingers out and looked up at her from between her legs, a devilish grin on his lips. She could not help but flush anew to see him looking up at her so ravenously, his eyes wild and passionate, his hands still wrapped around her thighs.
“Do you want more?” he asked, pressing another kiss to her thighs.
Cecilia managed a nod, barely able to speak coherently through her moans. “Yes. Yes, God, yes.”
He kissed her as he removed his trousers. Cecilia felt, rather than saw, the length of him against her thigh, hard and ready. She reached down, allowing him to guide the movements of her hand up and down his shaft.
“Will it hurt?” she asked. She had only a vague idea of what was to happen, for all of her reading; but, given what she felt, and the knowledge of how he used his fingers to pleasure her earlier, she had a feeling she could guess the mechanics of what was to happen next.
“Sometimes it does the first time,” he said, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand. “But not if one is careful, and not if one takes his time preparing the lady.”
She blushed. “Ah. So that is what you were doing,” she said. “Preparing me.”
He chuckled. The sound reverberated through her. “If you wish, I am more than happy to continue doing that all evening,” he said. “And nothing more. We can stop at that.”
Cecilia looked at him. Felt him against her. “No,” she said quietly. “I want…more. I want all of you, Ian.”
He kissed her again. “And I all of you,” he said.
Guiding her hand once more, he lined himself up at her entrance.
When he entered her, she gasped, a dual sound of both pleasure and surprise. Though he moved slowly, gently, there was a slight stretch. That said, Ian must have been right in his preparations; while there was a stretch, there was no pain.
Having heard her gasp, Ian paused in his movements at once.
“Are you all right?” he whispered.
She nodded, kissing him desperately. “It is such a new feeling,” she whispered back. “But it does not hurt. I am unused to it, is all.”
“I shall go slowly,” he promised.
He kissed her more deeply, running his hand up and down her waist, across her breasts, playing with her and pleasuring her across the rest of her body until she pressed her hips deeper into him by instinct. When she moaned again, he smiled.
“Better?” he asked.
“Yes,” Cecilia replied, clinging to him. “Do not stop, please.”
As he increased the pace of his thrusts slightly, they became deeper, as well, hitting spots within her beyond the reach of his fingers and tongue. His skin burned against hers. His mouth was hot and inviting, his tongue dancing with hers, swallowing her moans as she gave in to this new pleasure.
He hiked her legs higher up around his hips, altering the angle slightly in a way that had her nearly keening, and she wrapped her arms and legs alike more tightly around him.
Once again, she felt herself nearing the peak. It was stronger, this time, now that she was so pent up from all of his teasing.
“Ian,” she said breathlessly between kisses. “I am—close.”
“Are you, now?” Even in the throes of passion, he was still able to conjure that smirk, that arrogance in his tone that both maddened her and drove her wild with lust. “I should hope so. I am close, as well. Come undone for me, Cecilia. Let yourself fall apart for me, as I have fallen for you.”
She clung to him more tightly still as her pleasure arrived at a climax. His moans crescendoed in time with hers; as she throbbed around him, she felt a rush within her as he, too, reached his peak.
They lay there for a moment, unmoving, letting their breathing return to normal. After a few beats, Ian pulled away, rolling over and pulling her into an embrace with her head resting on his chest.
“Is it always like that?” Cecilia asked, once her heart had finally settled down a bit.
Ian pressed a kiss to the top of her head and wound his arm more tightly around her. “In truth?”
Cecilia chuckled. “When have I ever wanted anything from you other than the truth, my lord?”
She felt him smile where his lips still rested against her head. “It was more wonderful than I could have possibly imagined.”
Another silence passed between them. “So,” she finally said. “The last time we…” She trailed off, blushing. “You were gone in the morning. It is not because of anything I did? I was not…inadequate?”
He leaned back, using his free hand to tilt her chin up so that he could look into her eyes. He kissed her. When he broke off the kiss, his eyes burned with the fiercest sincerity Cecilia had ever seen.
“You could never be inadequate,” he said. “You were—you are—remarkable.”
Cecilia smiled, before leaning in for another kiss.