CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Shadow
Kayla’s wedding ceremony yesterday proved amazingly fun.
I learned how to grill burgers, which seems to be a human-male rite of passage.
I danced for the first time and discovered I am, of course, a most excellent dancer.
And I got to spend an entire evening with a Kayla who glowed with happiness, which was priceless.
It also made me realize I don’t have anything planned for my wedding ceremony, which is now less than a week away. It will be one of the most vital moves I can make in the game of courtship, so I need to match her level of play, if not surpass it.
As soon as she heads off for her weekly Witch Bitch meeting, I run the shadow roads into Ferndale Falls, coming out directly inside The Thirsty Tusk.
Thorvinn grunts and thunks a tankard of ale onto the bar in front of me.
Jace turns on his stool, his wings lifting a couple of inches in surprise when he sees my hands are empty. “No pizza? Blue won’t be happy.”
“I’ll get one in a minute.” I slide onto the stool beside him. “First, I need help. Big help.”
“You’re going to need to be more specific,” the dragon says dryly.
The orc growls, “Agreed.”
I down half my drink in one go, letting out a sigh. Goddess, I needed that. Then I turn to the others. It goes against everything in my nature to admit any kind of weakness, yet here goes. “This coming weekend, it’s my turn to throw a wedding.”
“Do you want us to help decorate?” Jace asks. “I gather from multiple conversations yesterday evening that the party was something of a group effort.”
“No. Well, maybe. I don’t know.” I throw out a hand. “And that’s the problem: I don’t know.”
Jace pulls out his new phone and taps at the screen.
“Hello. Am I boring you?” I wave a hand in front of his face. “I’m having a moment over here.”
“Indeed, you are.” He lifts a dark-blue eyebrow. “However, you’re being so vague I cannot fathom how to assist you.”
“Well, when you put it like that.”
“You mean logically instead of relying on overwrought emotion?”
“Overwrought! How dare y—”
Thorvinn slams two more tankards onto the bar. “None of this is helping.”
The door behind us opens, and Severin saunters in with Rune and Luke, who carries a pizza box he sets onto the bar top in front of me.
“What’s this?” I cast a startled look at the red dragon.
“Jace texted that you needed food.”
Goddess. I rub my face and look at Jace. “Sorry, man.”
“You were distraught.”
“Distraught?” Rune turns his amber gaze on me. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s my turn to throw a wedding ceremony this coming weekend. Kayla’s ceremony last night was so good, was such a great glimpse into who she is. I want to do something similar, something that shows Kayla our cat sith traditions.”
“Makes sense,” Luke says, taking a sip of ale.
Severin nods. “I don’t see the problem.”
“The problem is I don’t know any of my people’s wedding traditions. We only use them when our partner isn’t cat sith and we need to marry in our fae form.” I take a drink. “But we spent the last three centuries as panthers, mating only with each other, and lost the old ways.”
“Are you certain the knowledge is lost?” Jace frowns. “Can you not ask your elders?”
“I asked my alpha about it right after I first moved to Earth and met Kayla. But my mother knew nothing.” Back then, it was only the inkling of an idea, easily dismissed as something to worry about in the future.
Said future has finally found me. After Kayla’s highly personal ceremony, I desire to show her something as meaningful to me.
“What have the cat sith been doing instead?” Severin asks.
“Usually, the female strikes the male and takes off running, begging him to chase. When he finally catches her, they mate. If they’re highly compatible, his full knot forms. If not…” I shrug. Mine has never fully formed for anyone.
“My people suffer the same fate,” Rune says. “We lived too long as wolves and have lost how we used to wed others.”
“Handfasting,” Thorvinn says, and we all turn to look at him. “Elves used to handfast. Shadow fae handfast. Orcs handfast. Brownies and gnomes too. If you wed in fae form, you probably did a handfasting ceremony.”
I gape at the orc. It’s the most words I’ve ever heard him speak in one go. His tendency to grunt combined with his huge size make it easy to underestimate his intelligence. I won’t be doing that again.
“I bet you’re right.” A feeling of excitement fills me, and I throw back the lid of the pizza box to find a veggie lovers pie. The lack of meat means Blue is upset I didn’t go to Slice of Life personally, but I don’t care. “A handfasting! That’s a great idea.”
“I’ll see if I can find anything specific in my library,” Luke says.
“Can you research the customs of the cu sith, too?” Rune asks.
The red dragon nods, and Jace says, “I’ll help.”
“Thank you.” I clap them both on the shoulder and squeeze. “This means a lot, not only to me but to my people.”
Now I’ll not only be able to show the other cat sith how to live in their fae forms, I’ll also be able to bring back the traditions we lost.
As well as sharing them with Kayla to win her heart.
When I step out of the shadow roads into Victoria’s foyer later that night, there’s a small lamp on in the living room, and Dewdrop’s curled up in his sleeping nest, but no Kayla.
“Where is she?” I ask Victoria.
“In the backyard,” the house writes. “Which still has all those things everywhere.”
When I step outside, I realize the house means the gaming decorations, because the toadstool mushrooms still cover the yard, and the yellow stars float overhead.
The sun went down about an hour ago, setting late this far north on the globe, and the pleasantly cool air carries the scents of pine, fern, and chipmunk.
And my wife, who smells a little sad.
Kayla sits on the back steps, and I sink down beside her. “Did you have a good witchy meeting?”
“Yeah.” Her lips curl in a small smile. “We mostly talked about the wedding.”
“It was a fantastic party. You should be proud.”
“I am. It’s just…” She shakes her head. “I still can’t get used to it.”
“To what?”
“I kinda expected everyone to just humor me, you know?” Old hurt laces her words, and she gives a shrug that’s too jerky to be casual.
“But they actually had fun. It was all anyone could talk about at the Witch Bitch Spicy Book Club meeting.” She bumps me with her elbow.
“Well, that and the translation crystal you got Dewdrop. That caused quite a stir.”
I cup her chin and turn her to face me, unwilling to be distracted from her earlier point. The star floating over us bathes her in a golden glow that might as well be full sunlight to my keen night sight. “Why would you doubt your wedding idea would be fun for others?”
“It’s nothing.” Pain flickers through her eyes. She tries to turn away, but I don’t let her.
“Tell me.”
“I… I didn’t have a great childhood. I was never able to be the daughter my parents wanted.
I wasn’t pretty and dainty and well-mannered enough for my mother.
And I sure as hell wasn’t the right kind of tomboy for my father, who would have settled for someone sporty he could take to baseball or football games.
” Her hands twist together, her muscles tight with tension.
“Instead, I was just me, Kayla, the weird girl who liked video games.”
I want to soothe her sadness away but also don’t want her to stop.
“It got worse as I got older instead of better. I started reading even more fantasy. I’d escape into these other worlds with magic and fantastical creatures.
I could picture myself as someone special, a mage with magic or a warrior fighting the good fight.
” A haunted look flickers in her eyes, one I hate.
“When I joined the gaming club in high school, my father told me to stop wasting time on something so frivolous.
“So when I told my parents I wanted to major in game design at college, they said I had to major in something ‘appropriate,’ or they wouldn’t help me, even though they’d set aside a college fund.”
“Oh, Kayla.” I can’t imagine what that’s like.
Even though I chafed at the constraints of living in Alarria, I always had the love and support of friends and family.
It explains her prickly exterior, her sarcastic shirts, her purple hair.
Instead of crumpling in the face of other people’s opinions, she’s defiant, a fighter.
“But you did game design, anyway.” My strong and determined Kayla, there could be no doubt.
“Yeah, I knew I couldn’t do anything else and be happy. It took three part-time jobs and student loans and eating a helluva lot of ramen, but I did it.”
“And look at you now, a successful game designer.” I lean over to press my shoulder to hers. “I’m very proud of you.”
She startles a little, looking at me with wide eyes, and I both love and hate that look. Love that I can tell her she’s worthy. Hate that no one else has done so.
“I’m sorry your family is so unsupportive.” I still can’t imagine it. For my people, pack is all. You never turn on one of your own.
“It wasn’t all bad. My grandparents were great and insisted I spend every summer here with them.
It’s why I moved here once my grandmother passed.
” Her hands untangle, and she pats the banister.
“It was financially pretty much the worst flipping idea I’ve ever had.
I was still making a name for myself at Morlano Games.
I should have worked there at least another five years before trying to go freelance.
My parents insisted I sell Victoria, but I couldn’t.
” She huffs. “It got to the point that my father said that if I did this, I’d be on my own.
No crawling back to them for help when I got in over my head. ”
Anger washes through me. How could family turn on one of their own like this?
She sighs, the sound so sad I reach for her hand.
“But I couldn’t let Victoria go. Summers here with my grandparents were the only good parts of my childhood. If I sold this house, I wouldn’t have anything to remind me that anyone ever loved me.” Her voice breaks on the final word.
“Oh, my witchy beauty.” I wrap my arms around her and gather her to me, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Of course you’re loved.”
She shudders, her whole body shaking as she lets out the quietest of sobs.
The sound reaches into my chest and grips my heart. My lips pull back from my fangs. Right then and there, I vow that if I ever encounter her parents, I won’t be held accountable for my actions.
“So if you ever wondered why I don’t speak to my parents, that’s why. I cut off contact when I moved here.”
“I approve.”
“You do?” She squints up at me. “Not everyone understands. They think family is family no matter what.”
“Family, pack, they’re more than blood.” I cup her face. “They’re love. They’re respect. They’re the people you can count on. You do have a family—they were all here yesterday celebrating with you.”
“And Dewdrop.” She shoves tears from her cheeks with the blade of her hand. “Can’t forget him.”
“And Dewdrop.” I nod and make my voice soft. “And me.”
Because listening to her finally open up to me has made one thing painfully clear. I’ve been drawn to her since the moment we met. I stalked her for over a year. All of it driven by an instinctive attraction, a desire to mate.
I told myself I played the courting game, determined to win, and I didn’t think of what would happen beyond that point.
Yet getting to know her these past few weeks, to see the true depths of her strength and courage, to witness her amazing creativity. I want more than some temporary victory. I want a future with her.
I love Kayla with all my heart.