Chapter Thirty-Seven
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
On a quest to try all the pubs in Willowthrop, Naomi and Deborah convince Wyatt and Amity to join them at the Goat and Spur down by the river.
I hang back at Moss, nursing my second Hanky Panky.
By the time Dev’s closing up, I’ve had only half.
I’m not completely sober but not buzzed enough that I’m not nervous about going back to his place.
Was I jittery like this with that cute engineer I met at Kim’s New Year’s Eve party?
I remember laughing a lot and having a few good nights.
I must have felt skittish then too and just don’t remember it because the whole thing was over so quickly.
Neither of us says a word on the short drive.
The full moon makes a mosaic of shadows throughout the garden as we walk to the cottage.
I’m worried our earlier ease has vanished forever and that this is going to be awkward.
But as soon as Dev latches the cottage door behind us, he turns and takes me in his arms.
“Now I’ve got you where I want you.” His lips are on my neck. Is he kidding?
“That’s a classic villain line.” It’s ridiculous how much the pretend danger turns me on.
“Is it?” Dev whispers. His lips move up behind my ear. “It’s also what’s said by a bloke who’s been thinking about this since the moment he met you.”
Between my fingers, his hair is thick and smooth.
“On the village green? When I thought your mother was a fraud?”
“You were so sure of yourself.” He runs his hands down to my waist and pulls me closer. “I couldn’t believe I was attracted to such a brash American.”
“That’s the best kind.” I press my forehead to his, my lips nearly touching his. “Our cockiness gives you stuffy Brits permission to let loose and do wild things like say what you mean.”
“Stop talking,” he whispers.
“See, you’re learning already.”
And now we’re kissing in earnest, like there’s no time or need for banter.
I slip my hands under his T-shirt. His back is strong and warm, I want to touch every part of it.
We move toward his bed, still kissing. We kick off our shoes.
We both have trouble with our jeans. Laughing, I finally manage to fling mine off my shins.
Dev attempts the same but loses his balance and falls onto the bed.
I push him gently back and climb on top of him.
There’s enough moonlight coming in the window for me to see him smile like he can’t believe his good fortune.
It’s what I’m feeling too. Usually when I’m with someone new, I’m the first to close my eyes, the last to open them.
But I want to see Dev. I want to see him looking at me.
I bend down and kiss him, my hair falling like curtains around our faces.
“We don’t have to rush,” I say, and realize that I’m talking to myself.
There is no end goal here, no getting off and moving on, there is only this, and I want it to last forever.
We kiss until we’re breathless. I roll over and pull him onto me, reveling in the weight of him.
And then I push and flip him over again, so I can look down on him, but I’m not aware of where we are and his head thumps, hard, against the headboard.
“Ow!”
“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m so sorry.” I turn on the light.
He touches the top of his head and winces.
“Is there a bump?”
“No.”
“Please don’t just say that. Do you need some ice?” I can’t believe I’ve hurt him.
“No, I’m okay. I mean, I will be in a minute.”
I flop down on my back beside him.
“I feel like such an idiot,” I say.
“You are the opposite of an idiot.”
I take a deep breath, wait for my heartbeat to settle. I can sense that Dev is looking up at the ceiling as I am. And then, like a whisper, his fingers brush mine.
“I really fancy you, Cath.”
“I really like you too.”
Our fingers intertwine. We stay like that for a few minutes until Dev turns onto his side, toward me, and I do the same.
We kiss lightly now, tentatively, like we’re beginning again, not trying to hide our unease.
I take off my shirt and bra. We explore each other, fingers trembling, until they are not.
We let them roam up our bodies, and down.
Dev’s touch is a revelation, here and here, and oh yes, there, and let me show you precisely where, like this, and now I don’t want to slow down, and I tell him not to stop.
And I love how he watches me. And I keep my eyes open so I can map his pleasure on his face, his beautiful, kind face, and when he says Cath and even calls me Cathy, I don’t mind at all.