Chapter 21
21
Honey
By the next morning, CT’s ankle injury really did appear to be just a light sprain. Honey had administered Advil, then iced and wrapped his ankle the night before. She’d even suggested he could get it checked at urgent care, since he sometimes got worked up over physical injuries. But she was relieved when he simply waved his hand, assuring her he was okay. She hadn’t really wanted to drive him into town and go through all the inevitable challenges that would follow. And CT seemed content to rest in his chair.
She’d found an old pair of crutches in the attic after she’d gotten him safely into bed, but this morning when she tried to show him how to use the crutches to get from the bedroom to the living room, it had been both frightening and frustrating for both of them.
“You should just stay in your chair.” She handed him the remote as she pulled the lever to elevate his feet. “I’ll bring you your breakfast.”
“Peanut butter and honey,” he weakly requested. She could tell their short journey to his recliner had worn him out, but it was just as well. At least he’d stay put for a while. That was something.
She went to the kitchen and was grateful to see that Jewel had already been up and had made coffee. Honey poured herself a mug, took a couple of sips, then set about putting CT’s breakfast together, thanking the good Lord for peanut butter and honey!
She took out his tray, complete with his beloved sandwich, a banana, and a glass of milk. She set it on his lap, making sure it was secure, then kissed his forehead. But instead of smiling like he normally did when she kissed him, he frowned.
“Don’t want this.” He started to give the tray a shove, but she rescued it, catching the glass of milk just before it tottered off.
“What?” She set the tray on the coffee table and turned to look at him. “What’s wrong?” she asked, trying to keep the irritation from her voice.
His brows were knit together as he glowered at her. She had no idea what was eating at him but suspected it was serious.
“CT,” she said gently, “is something wrong?”
With his chin sticking out, he nodded firmly.
“Can you tell me what it is?”
He pointed a shaking finger at her. “You. Answer my question.”
“Okay.” She sat down on the edge of the coffee table, bracing herself for whatever was coming. “What’s your question?”
His face grew even grimmer. “You made me go to that place.”
“What place?”
“That place. You know. Where Miguel lives.”
“Oh?” She nodded with a guilty feeling. “Yes, I took you there.”
“That place. All those people. Laughing at me.”
“No, CT. No one laughed at you.”
“Yes! They did!”
She shook her head. “No, I never heard anyone laugh at you. I did hear you yelling at them and yelling at Miguel.”
“You took me there. You made them laugh.”
She was confused. “How would I make them laugh?”
“You made me go with no clothes.”
“No clothes?” She felt her eyes growing wide. “What?”
“You know. You took me there. With no clothes.”
“I took you there with no clothes?” she echoed.
“Yes! Just my underthings. My shorts.”
“Oh no. That’s not true.”
“It is true. You made them laugh at me.”
She was trying to process this. Why in the world would he think such a thing? But she knew she couldn’t ask him. “CT, I love you. I would never, ever do anything like that to you.”
“You did it. I know you did. I was there. I was embarrassed. They all laughed.”
She felt as if she’d been punched in the pit of her stomach. How could he possibly imagine she would do something like that? Did he really think she was capable of being so cruel and barbaric? He’d been mixed up before, but never like this. How could his brain get so scrambled? And yet as she looked at him, she knew he believed what he was saying. How could she make him understand it was totally false?
“Hey there,” Jewel called out as she came into the house.
“We’re in here,” Honey called back, trying to keep her voice even.
She walked into the living room. “Is this your coffee?” Jewel held out the mug Honey had filled.
“Yes, thank you.” Honey took the cup with a slightly trembling hand.
“Are you okay?” Jewel frowned.
“Not exactly.” Honey nodded toward CT. “Your father thinks I made him go to the Oroscos’ party last night in his undershorts and nothing else.”
Jewel started to laugh. “You’re not serious.”
Honey looked from her daughter to her husband, unsure of what to do. CT looked even more agitated now. “I am serious, Jewel.” Honey inserted warning into her tone. “Your father is convinced this is true.”
“Well, it’s perfectly ridiculous.” Jewel leaned down to peer into her dad’s face. “Dad? You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“I know what she did.” CT glared at Honey. “She embarrassed me.”
“No, you embarrassed yourself. Don’t you remember?” Now Jewel paused as if she realized how ridiculous it was to ask that. “No, you don’t remember, do you? I’m sorry. But I can assure you. Mom did not take you to the barbecue in your undershorts.” She stifled another laugh, then reached into her pocket to retrieve her phone. “Actually, I can prove it.”
Suddenly Honey remembered the photos Jewel had taken. Bless her heart! Soon Jewel was scrolling through and showing them to her father.
“Remember the fishpond?” Jewel asked him. “You were counting the fish. I took this of you and Mom. You had on your Hawaiian shirt.”
CT’s brow was still creased, but he nodded almost imperceptibly. “That’s me. That’s my shirt.”
“You were wearing it last night,” Honey told him. “Remember when you fell down and used the shirt as a flag?”
CT looked cloudy again. “Flag?”
“Never mind.” Honey reminded herself to keep it simple. She pointed to the photo CT was staring at. “See, that’s you and me. It was taken last night. You had on clothes.”
“Really?” He looked up at her with confusion. “I really did?”
“CT,” she said gently, “I wouldn’t lie to you. I love you.”
“Why?” His voice cracked slightly. “Why do I think that?”
She pointed to her forehead like she often did when trying to explain things to him. “It’s your brain, sweetheart. It’s messing with you again.”
“My brain?”
“You know how it’s hard to remember ... sometimes?”
“My brain is goofy?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Yeah. It’s kind of goofy.” She mouthed “thank you” to Jewel, hinting that perhaps she should make her exit now.
“I’ll send you copies of the photos,” Jewel called over her shoulder as she headed for the kitchen. “For posterity’s sake.”
Honey smiled as she picked up the breakfast tray. “Peanut butter and honey sandwich, anyone?”
CT nodded. “Yeah. Me. I want one.”
She nestled the tray back in his lap and, once again, kissed him on the forehead. This time he did smile. Crisis averted ... for the moment, anyway. Honey reached for the remote and turned on True Grit . She picked up her coffee mug, pausing to watch a scene where young Mattie gives crusty old Rooster Cogburn the what for. Too bad she couldn’t take on CT like that feisty teen girl. But somehow she was pretty sure it would never fly here.
When Honey made it to the kitchen a little while later, Jewel was waiting for her, sipping on her own coffee. “What brought that on?”
“Who knows?” Honey sat down at the table. “But it sure threw me for a loop. I’m so glad you took those pictures last night.”
“Me too.”
“What’s wrong with Dad’s foot? I noticed the wrap.”
Without going into all the details, Honey explained about last night. “I think he rolled it.”
“Maybe that’ll slow him down some.” Jewel took an orange out of the fruit bowl and began peeling it. “Speaking of slowing him down...” She shared how CT had rearranged her studio again the day before.
“I’m sorry.” Honey held up helpless hands. “But you know how he is.”
“So I got to thinking. What if I put a padlock on the door?”
“Go ahead. But keep in mind that your dad will probably figure a way to break in regardless.”
“I could post a Keep Out sign.”
Honey looked sadly amused. “You can give it a try, but I’d be surprised if it worked.”
Jewel reached across the table and took Honey’s hand. “I know this is hard on you, Mom. I’m so sorry.”
Sympathy always nearly undid her. And after the fiasco of last night, along with CT’s wild accusations this morning, she felt particularly vulnerable. “Oh, Jewel,” she muttered as she reached for a napkin. “Sometimes I just don’t know how much more I can take.” She poured out a bit more about last night.
Now Jewel started talking about other living situations and assisted care and memory care, and suddenly Honey felt overwhelmed. “Not now, Jewel.” She held up a hand. “It’s too soon to think about all that. I just needed to vent a little, but I’m done now.” She wiped her eyes and nose. “I’ll be okay.”
“But, Mom, the time will come—”
“Not today, Jewel.” Honey stood. “It’s not today.”
“Okay.”
“I think I know where a padlock is.” She went to her junk drawer and started digging through it until finally she extracted a large padlock and key. “Here. If you want to try this, it might work. Good luck.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Jewel gave her a little hug, took the lock, and went out the back door. Honey watched her stroll toward the barn. She looked so young and confident. Honey remembered having been like that once. And not so long ago either. Yes, Honey knew her daughter could be right. The time for seeking out more help for CT was probably coming. For all she knew, it was barreling at them like a freight train.
Just not today. Not yet. It was too soon. She sighed to remember the emotional moment they’d shared in the alfalfa field last night, both of them aching with the reality of all this ... this hand that God and the universe dealt them. It was a lot, she knew, but she also still believed that with God’s help they would manage. Somehow.
For now, though, she would go sit with CT. She was tired anyway. Both physically and emotionally. It would feel good to curl into the couch with a book in her lap while she pretended to watch the rest of True Grit with him. Maybe that was a good title for their life these days— True Grit ! Yes, it did seem to fit.