Chapter 25
25
Jewel
Jewel had gotten into the habit of strolling around the farm property in the evening. She liked to slip out right around sunset. With her parents usually on their way to bed and Cooper occupied on her phone or playing some game with Anna, this became Jewel’s time of peace and quiet. A gentle regrouping after a hectic day. And today, after the disagreement over the paint mishap and the noise of the construction crew all afternoon, the serenity felt extra welcome. As she walked along the edge of the fragrant lavender field, she could breathe deeply, silence her nagging doubts, and almost imagine that everything was going to work out.
“Jewel?”
Over her shoulder, she spied Miguel walking the fence line toward her. She waved eagerly. She had been hoping to express her appreciation for how he came to Dad’s defense today. She leaned against the fence with an extended hand. “Hello, neighbor.”
His eyes lit up as he grasped her hand. “Hello back at ya, neighbor. Nice evening for a walk.”
She smiled in amusement that he was still holding on to her hand. “Can you smell that lavender?”
“You bet. When the wind blows this way, it drifts right over to us. Nice.” He gently released her fingers. “Want any company on your stroll?”
“Absolutely.”
“Mind if I come over there?” He bent down, and she gladly helped to hold up the wires as he slipped through the fence.
“Welcome.” She beamed at him. “I wanted to thank you for your help with Dad today. I’m not totally sure what all transpired, but I’m glad you stepped in. I think Dad was too.”
“Well, I was coming over to see if you needed any more help with painting, but when I saw Aaron and his boys there, I almost headed the other way.” His strides lengthened, as if he was getting worked up about it.
“But you didn’t?” She quickened her pace to match his.
“Nope. Because I heard yelling, like something was wrong. I came on over and when I got there, your dad looked pretty upset so I stuck around, trying to be a peacemaker. Although to be honest, I might’ve made things worse. Aaron wasn’t too pleased to see me.”
“I’m sorry about that. Aaron can be, uh, difficult. Sounded like he was pretty rough on my dad too.”
“I guess he doesn’t get it.” He slowed down his pace.
“He doesn’t get a lot.” She grimly shook her head.
“I don’t think compassion comes easily to him.”
That was an understatement, but Jewel didn’t say so.
“So was your dad okay afterward?” He stopped walking and turned toward her with a concerned expression. “I felt so sorry for him when Aaron scolded him like that.”
“I’m sure he’s forgotten all about it now.”
“Oh, good. I told my mother about the whole thing, and she said I should’ve thrashed Aaron.” He chuckled.
“Well, I think your idea of painting the deck was actually really good. Thank you.” She studied his face, his firm chin, straight nose, dark expressive eyes ... so handsome. She felt an unexpected warmth rush through her and wondered if he felt anything similar. “It seems like your relationship with Dad has improved. I mean, while we were painting the last few days, he seemed to soften up toward you. And this morning probably helped too.”
“Yeah, I think we’re making progress. Either that or he’s starting to forget his old grievances.”
“Maybe both. But he did seem grateful to you for being there this morning. That was so nice to see. I really hope he can stay on good terms with you.” For her sake as much as anything, but she didn’t plan to say that.
“Me too.” He paused for a long moment, gazing intently into her eyes until she felt like she was melting inside. Were her knees actually growing weak? Could that still happen at her age?
“I mean, since we’re neighbors and all,” she muttered nervously, feeling more and more like a smitten schoolgirl and embarrassed by it. Really, she was too old for this silliness. Aren’t I?
“Yeah. Neighbors should get along,” he spoke quietly.
“Yeah...” Despite trying to look away, she kept her gaze fixed on his dark eyes, silently wishing he’d take her in his arms and kiss her—passionately. Was there a more romantic spot for a first kiss than a lavender field at sunset? But what then? Was she really ready for this? Was he? She stepped back, taking in a deep breath to steady herself, to get ahold of her emotions.
Miguel stepped back too. “So, you and Aaron ... It’s none of my business, but I’m curious. Are you more than just friends?”
She thought back to their conversation at the barbecue when he’d questioned her about Aaron. “As far as I’m concerned, Aaron and I are just friends. Business acquaintances, really.”
“Well, I noticed how he looked at you today.” Miguel folded his arms in front of him with an intense expression. “It seemed almost territorial. Then on my way home I glanced over there again and saw you and Aaron behind the new house. I could be wrong, but it seemed, well ... somewhat intimate.”
She could tell he was uncomfortable telling her this, but she also realized how it might’ve looked that way. “That’s because I was trying to get through to him. About forgiveness. About restoring a relationship with you and Anna. He’s still so angry about his sister. I don’t understand it, but he clearly blames you.”
Miguel glumly shook his head. “I’m well aware of that.”
“Why?” she demanded. “I just don’t get it. Why can’t he let it go?”
Miguel shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I’ve tried to talk to him in the past, but he just shuts me down. Finally, I just gave up.”
“Is there any legitimate reason for him to blame you?” She knew this sounded accusatory, but she had to know. “I just don’t understand why he is so convinced it’s your fault Beth died. She had cancer, right? So how can he hold you responsible for that? If he wants to blame someone, why not blame the doctors?”
Miguel pulled off his cowboy hat and ran his fingers through his thick, dark hair. “Like I said, I don’t know exactly why. Well, besides the fact that he’s never liked me. But I’ve gone over and over Beth’s illness and treatment plan. At the time, I believed we were doing our best.”
“Not according to Aaron.”
He nodded. “I have some theories about why, but I’m not totally sure. It’s probably a long story. One that I don’t completely understand.”
“I have time.”
He studied her. “Okay. How about if we go sit down and I’ll try to explain it to you?”
“Sure,” she agreed. “If you want to. I mean, I don’t want to drag you through something that’s painful for no good reason.”
“I think I’d like you to know.”
She pointed to the new house. “We could talk in private in there. I put a couple chairs inside.”
“Sounds good.” And to her delight he took her hand as they walked.
She unlocked the new house and, after Miguel sat down, she got them cold drinks from the fridge. “I’ve been trying to get this place more comfortable for Dad. You know, so he can get used to it. And hopefully want to live here.”
“It’s a nice house. But I suppose he’s used to his own home. I can see how it might be a problem.”
“That’s what worries me.” She sat down with a sigh. “But worst-case scenario, Cooper and I will move in here.”
“That wouldn’t be too terrible, would it?” He smiled.
“No, of course not. But we came in here to talk about you.” She leaned back. “I’d really like to hear your story.”
She tried to reserve judgment as Miguel explained about how he’d put his career in the Air Force at the top of his priority list, above his wife and child, admitting that he now realized that was wrong. “To be honest, I hadn’t planned to marry as young as I did. But Beth was persuasive. I was still young and somewhat driven to succeed in the Air Force. I was selfish too. And I wasn’t ready to have kids when Beth got pregnant with Anna that first year. Sure, I was happy to become a father, but it felt like too much too soon.” He shared how Beth and Anna lived on the base in New Mexico and not always under ideal conditions. “I was too focused on work. As a result, I was probably neglectful. But I was trying to save up for our future together, you know, for when I retired from active duty. It wasn’t that far off, and my dream was to farm.” He sighed. “But I should’ve focused more on the present than the future.”
“That still doesn’t explain why Aaron blames you for Beth’s death.”
“Well, I was close to having my twenty years in ... then Beth got sick. We both thought the Air Force had pretty good medical coverage, but Beth’s family didn’t agree. Particularly Aaron. Beth urged me to finish my twenty years in order to get the full benefits of retirement, and she seemed happy with her doctors in New Mexico.” He shook his head. “She really played down her illness. Maybe for Anna and me. Or maybe we were all in denial. But she seemed too young and healthy to be seriously ill. Anyway, by the time we retired and came here, her cancer had really progressed and—” His voice cracked with emotion. “It was too late to do much about it.”
“And that’s the only reason Aaron blames you?”
“As far as I know.”
“Well, I understand that he loves and misses his sister, but it seems totally unfair to hold you responsible, Miguel. You’re not God.”
“But saying it all out loud just now”—he leaned back and released a long sigh—“might be therapeutic, but it also makes me see how it could look like that ... to Aaron, anyway.”
Jewel considered this without replying. Maybe he was right. Or maybe Aaron was just a self-centered jerk. “I just wish you and Aaron could mend this relationship. At least for Anna’s sake. It’s not healthy for any of you.”
“I agree.” Miguel stood up. “In fact, I think I’ll revisit it with him. I’ll try taking more responsibility this time, and I’ll really apologize for it.”
“It can’t hurt to try.” As she got to her feet, Jewel wasn’t sure Aaron would even listen, but she appreciated Miguel’s willingness. “I don’t know if it’d make any difference, but if having a neutral third party present would help, I’m available.”
Miguel held his arms open for a hug, and she gladly went into them. As good as it felt to be there snug against his chest, she could tell it was a brotherly platonic hug, and she was determined not to make more of it than that.
“Thanks,” he said as he let her go. “I needed that.”
“Sure.” She grinned. “Anytime.”
“And thanks for listening too. I needed that as well.”
“I’m grateful you would share that with me. I feel like I know you and your situation better now.”
“I better get home before my mom and Anna get worried about me. They’re both such little mamas sometimes.” He grasped her hand with a warm squeeze, then told her good night. She remained on the front deck, watching as he trekked through the twilit alfalfa field, probably heading for the gate this time. But as he disappeared from sight, she felt a piece of her heart go with him and, although it wasn’t chilly, a slight shudder rushed through her. What was she allowing herself to get into?