Chapter 11 #3
It takes me a moment to process that Cooper spoke my thought out loud. I blink at him, emotions threatening to spill over. Silence stretches on the call, William’s thumbnail so still I wonder if my internet froze.
“What did you say?” he grinds out in a tone that makes me wish the connection failed.
“These just aren’t funny,” Cooper states, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair. “This is punching down, and invalidates the whole point of what we have going.”
“And what exactly is it that you have going?” William says with a snide laugh.
Cooper’s face twists in disbelief. “I mean… it’s pretty obvious, no? The whole gist is that guys historically are able to get away with shitty, emotionally damaging behavior toward women, and Eva is calling me out on it. But having her read comments this harsh derides it all.”
“I’m not emotionally damaged,” I add weakly, kidding myself.
“Your precious speech is rather redundant considering you’re both reading harsh comments about yourselves. Having a sense of humor about it is the point.”
“One of Cooper’s is about how badly someone wants him to teabag them while mine essentially say I’m a shallow bitch with questionable looks who’s never had a real thought.
I don’t see how we’re operating on the same level here,” I snap on a sudden rush of boldness, then cower at William’s returning stare.
He allows the silence to stretch, bending it into a needle that pokes and scratches my skin.
“I’m sorry,” he says slowly, sounding anything but.
“I was under the impression you two were serious about your careers and creating high-quality content with the potential to really take off, but now I’m not so sure.
There are hundreds of people who would take both of your spots in a heartbeat, and I’d much rather speak with them than waste my time here.
” He logs off before any of us can take a breath.
“Shit,” Aida says after a moment.
“That was really messed up,” I say, voice wobbly. “You told me it wouldn’t be that bad.”
“I said I didn’t know what it would be like,” she snaps, fear and worry etched across her features. “But William is not happy. I need to do some damage control here before we both lose our jobs.”
“I don’t give a shit about our stupid jobs right now,” I yell. “And you shouldn’t either after that bullshit.”
“That bullshit is the thing that pays our bills. I don’t have the luxury to say fuck it,” Aida hisses. “I actually care about my career. And thanks to your temper tantrum, I now have to grovel to our new boss and his mommy for us to keep them.”
She logs off, and I’m smacked with my own reflection—lips parted and eyes rimmed with tears threatening to spill over. Not care? Not fucking care? What a cheap shot and Aida damn well knows it.
I care so much about this career—about doing something, anything , worthwhile—that I’m carving myself hollow trying to get there. I’m humiliating myself day in and day out at the snap of William’s fingers to chase the glimmer of a promise for something more.
And oh god, Landry . I should not have talked to her son like that.
I admire the woman more than anyone, and it won’t win me any favors to turn her successor against me.
Anxiety seeps through me in a rotten cloud as my brain gleefully catastrophizes what will come next.
I can’t let this happen again, be this pathetic and reactive.
From here on out, if William tells me to jump or sit or bark on command, I need to do that for him.
It’s the only way to keep scrambling up this landslide of a career trajectory.
With a shaky breath, I try to collect myself, suddenly very aware that Cooper is still on the call.
“You okay, Kitten?”
“Never better,” I say back, voice breaking. I rub the heels of my hands against my eyes, cursing at the dark stains left on my skin from my smeared makeup.
Cooper catches my gaze and holds it. Something about his steadiness creates a shaky feeling in my chest, and I let out a slow, controlled breath through pursed lips. It doesn’t help. I just feel like crying more.
“You don’t have to pretend that was okay,” he says softly. “You can admit it was unfairly brutal.”
“No offense, but your shoulders aren’t nearly broad enough to be ones I’d cry on.”
Cooper laughs, rolling his eyes. “Or use humor to cope. That’s fine too.”
“Why do you put up with me?” I ask suddenly. I want to snatch back the vulnerable question, force the words back down my throat and slap my hand over my mouth for good measure.
Cooper swallows, and I trace the bob of his Adam’s apple. He adjusts his glasses, drags a hand down his jaw. “Because I like you, Eva.”
I suck in a breath. “You—”
“I like listening to you. I like never knowing what out-of-pocket thing you’re going to say next. I like hearing about your ideas and your thoughts and then reading how you piece them together. I like that you’re a little bit feral and that sometimes you let me get away with teasing you.”
Each word is tapped into the blank page of my skin, inking deeper and deeper until I feel covered in his confession. “I like when you tease me,” I whisper, my admission feeling both too intimate and too inadequate.
Cooper’s grin is radiant, so warm I can feel it in my chest. “Well, that’s good, because I can’t seem to help myself when it comes to you.”
“I just assumed it’s a defense mechanism for my bullying,” I respond in an attempt at levity, trying to snip the cord of tension wrapping around my chest, tugging me toward the screen.
Cooper presses his lips together in a crooked line, but it can’t hold back his next laugh. “Well, I suppose that’s part of it too.”
The way he’s looking at me is far too tender, too kind. He’s looking at me like he sees more than there is. I know he’ll be disappointed if he looks any closer.
I cough and start fiddling with my mouse, figuring out the best excuse to escape. “Well, this was, uh, an awful time, but I better—”
He cuts me off. “What are you doing tomorrow at four?”
“Lighting my Rylie Cooper doll on fire.”
His smile should be considered unholy for the flood of sensations it releases low in my belly. “I hate to interrupt something so important, but would you be willing to move things around to go on a date with me instead?”
I try to cage the butterflies erupting through me. “Can you promise the same amount of pyrotechnics will be involved?”
“Oh, Kitten, you know I always make sparks fly.” He winks, and I smile in spite of myself.
“Yeah, I can do tomorrow. What do you have planned?”
“You’ll love it. It’s the most romantic thing in the world.”
“You’re going to play guitar at me while aggressively making eye contact and I have to bob my head along like I’m enjoying it?”
Cooper’s mouth twists to the side. “Okay, the second most romantic thing in the world.”
I laugh, trying to tame the wild giddiness pulsing through me. How does he do it? How does he perk me up when I’m so low? “Just tell me. You can’t be trusted with surprises.”
“I’m taking you…”
He draws out the moment, eyes glinting, my heart hammering.
“… to couples therapy!”
My jaw crashes to my keyboard. Couples therapy?
“Cooper, what the fu—” He logs out of the meeting and leaves me staring at my own bewildered expression.