20. Hall of Memories
Hall of Memories
Larissa
L arissa should have taken the first watch.
Exhaustion curled up in her bones, yet she fought the heaviness behind her eyes.
If she slept, she risked falling into dreams. The young goddess’ glowing face appeared every time she closed her eyes.
Larissa swore she could still feel the child’s hands on her face. Her cheeks tingled from the memory.
At some point after falling asleep, Halla curled up against Larissa’s chest. Her back warmed Larissa’s front, lulling her into a peace she hadn’t felt since waking up in the back of the truck.
Larissa’s breathing softened to match Halla’s deep sleepy sighs.
The ring on her hand grew warm, and her eyes slid shut.
T he long hallway stretched into infinity with doors on either side.
The floor under Larissa’s feet was tiled black and white like a chessboard, and gold veins ran the length of the hall.
Each door was shut tight, etched with the same rune that matched her ring.
Larissa turned to see if the hallway extended just as far in the other direction.
She half-expected to find the goddess, but someone else waited for her this time.
Queen Stjarna blocked her path, wearing the same clothes from Larissa’s dreams but no longer bleeding from the nose and mouth.
Her eyes were just as green and bright as always, but Larissa could make out a subtle difference in their shape compared to Halla’s.
It had been a fool’s hope to think they were the same.
“Where am I?”
Queen Stjarna placed her hand on the closest doorknob. “Are you ready to remember?”
Larissa fidgeted with the ring on her finger. Halla wanted her to try. Pappa and Mamma would want her to try. Larissa nodded at Queen Stjarna and turned the knob.
Together, they stepped into darkness that soon lessened into a gray haze.
Smoke arranged itself into shapes that then drew color into existence.
Larissa stood alone in a courtyard; Queen Stjarna had disappeared.
Grass, flowers, bushes, and trees filled the expansive grounds.
They had clearly been well-cared for; every plant was intentionally nurtured and cultivated.
The smell of damp soil reminded Larissa of the berry farm, but something else tugged at her memory. Cherry blossoms.
Then came a shout, one of joy and excitement.
A young, barefooted girl burst through the bushes.
From her size, Larissa guessed she was around Halla’s age.
Her white hair looked as though it had been carefully styled and pulled away from the girl’s face at one point in time, but it had fallen out during the child’s play.
She stopped running and laughed to herself, looking back into the bushes where she had run from. Her golden eyes sparkled with mirth.
The resemblance was undeniable.
Larissa had no pictures of herself when she was younger, nothing to prove her hypothesis except for the innate ability to recognize oneself. This child was her.
All at once, younger-Larissa stopped laughing. Larissa thought that perhaps the girl had noticed her, but no. She was looking past Larissa into the bushes from where she had emerged, listening intently.
A low growl, the rumble of a vibrating chest, shook the leaves. A wolf pup exploded through the underbrush. Its body, though small, was outstretched with its claws extended toward younger-Larissa.
Larissa rushed to the child, knowing she was too late, already imagining those claws slicing through the girl’s skin and splattering blood onto the ground. But there was no blood. No collision.
Younger-Larissa smiled as she raised one hand, a ring sparkling from her thumb.
Just before the wolf pounced on her, it collided into an invisible barrier and was tossed back by its own momentum.
Landing on its feet, the creature raised its muzzle to the sky, releasing a long and joyful howl.
The fur on the wolf’s back ruffled until a small, brown-skinned girl with black hair dressed in sweatpants and a loose shirt took its place.
“Anara, you kept your clothes on!”
Larissa noted the other girl’s copper eyes and mischievous grin. Her cheeks were rounder and her hair was not quite as long, but it was Anara. There was no doubt.
Larissa shook her head. They’d known each other?
Anara bared her teeth, still in canine form, in the resemblance of a smile and touched the ruby at her throat. “Amma taught me. She said I was getting too old to be shifting without keeping my clothes. It was either this or I wasn’t allowed to shift outside my room anymore.”
“That does seem like it would be a problem.” Younger-Larissa nodded with false severity. “You couldn’t reach me, so I declare myself the winner.”
“How’d you stop me anyhow?”
“Móeir has been working with me on our galdr too. She says it’s all about being able to feel the energy around me.
” The girl’s face was serious, her voice was lofty, and her nose pointed in the air.
Then, she laughed and shrugged. “To be honest, I’m not really sure how I did that. I just reached out, and it worked.”
“Your galdr is so strange.” Anara sat on the ground, crossing her legs.
Younger-Larissa mirrored Anara’s posture. “My galdr is strange? You can literally change everything about you.”
Anara grinned wildly. “I figured out how to do something really cool. Want to see?”
“Yeah!”
Anara inhaled and exhaled, closing her eyes. When she opened them, they were no longer copper but bright green. Starting at the roots, her black hair lightened until it was nearly silver.
“Anara, that’s amazing! You look like Móeir. I thought you couldn’t do a human transformation yet.”
Anara shuddered, the transformation fading from her. “I still can’t, not really. I’ve only mastered the raven and wolf forms. It’s harder to shift to humans. Amma says that’s because the Norn never intended our galdr to be used for deception.”
“Think about how cool that could be though. You could look however you want. You could have purple hair and orange eyes!” The girls ’ laughter faded into a sigh. “I wish I could do that. No one would even know it was me walking right out the palace walls.”
Anara leaned back on her hands, tilting her head back. “I think it’s beautiful here.”
“Not when it’s the only place you’ve ever known.”
The familiarity of her words slammed into Larissa. It was something Halla would say.
“Oh come on, you don’t want to sit out here moping all day.” Anara stood up. “The Safirian royal family will be arriving any minute.”
“What?” Younger-Larissa rose to her feet, brushing herself off. “Darien and Aeron are coming today? How long have you known about this?”
Anara looked up at the sky as though pondering the question. “I could have sworn I mentioned it.”
Huffing, younger-Larissa raced off toward where they had come from, with Anara fast on her heels.
Larissa tried to follow but found herself back in the tiled hallway.
The smells of the garden still lingered in her nose, even as she touched cold and solid walls. She was surrounded by doors once more.
Just a dream. Larissa breathed deeply to steady herself, doubting her thoughts even as she had them. Her dreams had never felt quite this real. But if they weren’t dreams, that would mean Darien was right.
These were memories. Her memories.
More voices came from the door to her left, but Larissa’s hand hesitated on the doorknob.
Even if these were her memories, all they had proven was that Larissa had known Anara as a child.
They proved nothing about her being a Princess.
Not really. Pappa said that even some outside of the royal families could use galdr .
It was possible she was the daughter of an aristocrat or even an abnormality.
The voices beyond the doors grew louder, piquing Larissa’s curiosity. She cracked open the one next to her and slid through the gap. Confusion halted her in her steps.
The door she had opened stood before her once again, closed shut.
The only difference was the small girl crouched low with her ear pressed against the door.
Larissa recognized herself in the figure more readily this time, although she looked even younger than before.
She was tiny, and there was no ring on her thumb.
The sound of voices came again, and Larissa dropped next to her younger self, mimicking her posture. On the other side of the door, she could hear a man’s voice.
“I understand your fears, Stjarna, but we cannot keep her locked up inside this palace for the rest of her life.”
“I never said her whole life, Mikkel, just until she is old enough to protect herself.”
A pause.
“This is because of the oath your mother made you take, isn’t it?”
“She was wise, Mikkel. She may not have been the best mother, but she learned many things on her travels. She warned me that the peace was coming to an end. I keep having these dreams about Lovisa—“
Larissa gasped audibly.
“Shhhh,” said the child. “I’m trying to listen.”
Larissa stared golden eye to golden eye with her younger self. The little Princess was missing one of her front baby teeth. Larissa waved her hand in front of the girl’s face. “Can you see me?”
“Duh. Now shhh .” Lovisa rolled her eyes, pressing her ear back against the door.
“I have sent messages to the royal families of Rubin and Safír,” the man said. “We trust them, Stjarna; they have been our friends for over a century. She needs to be able to socialize with other children.”
As the Queen acquiesced, Lovisa rose from her crouched position. “Móeir ended up letting me meet them.”
“Meet who?”
“Princess Anara from Rubin came first. Then Darien and Aeron, Princes of the Safír Kingdom.”