24. Empathy
Empathy
Darien
H ours later, they made camp several miles south, only a dozen or so miles away from the Wall surrounding Lystheim, the main city of Perle.
Anara led them to a small clearing just large enough for them to roll out their blankets around another small stockpile of food.
Larissa and Halla sat together atop a blanket, their eyes glued on Anara and Darien as they discussed what was coming next.
Anara’s plan was simple, or so she’d claimed while explaining it on their drive.
Produce Day was tomorrow. They would drive up to the Wall with a delivery.
They would convince the sentry to allow them entry past the Intake Yard, and from there Anara would guide them to the contact.
Of course, the entire plan relied on Darien’s ability to persuade the sentry by accessing the galdr he hadn’t remembered he’d possessed until only a few hours ago.
Which led to his current predicament.
“Darien,” Anara snapped her fingers, jolting Darien from his thoughts.
He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
To his surprise, Anara turned away from him. “Halla, would you mind if Darien practiced with you? It won’t hurt, I promise.”
Halla bobbed her head, moving to stand.
“No.” Larissa had put a restraining hand on Halla. “No offense to Darien, but he doesn’t know what he’s doing; there’s no way I’m letting him practice on Halla. Why can’t he practice on you?”
“Because I have to guide him, and I can’t do both.”
“Fine.” Larissa rose to her feet only to settle herself in front of Darien. “He can practice on me.”
“Are you sure?” Darien asked.
She nodded, but her eyes held a challenge. “You say you knew me.”
He swallowed dry air, his heart thumping at her sudden closeness. “I did.”
He had known her, the little girl who had yearned so longingly for companionship that she had given her heart away to her very first friend. And he felt that he knew her now, the girl who would go to Hel and back for the sake of her sister. He had loved the first girl and admired the second.
Finally, she said, “If you really knew me, and you are who you say you are, then maybe you can help me remember.”
Anara placed herself beside them both, creating the three points of a triangle. “Start by obtaining eye contact.”
Darien stared into those golden eyes that were trying so hard to appear unafraid.
His gaze strayed to the thick cut on her right cheek that stretched behind her ear.
It had scabbed over, but in some places the shiny scar beneath peeked through.
Behind Larissa, Halla inched towards them, fascination written on her face.
Darien forced his eyes to return to Larissa’s gaze. “Anara, are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Yes, now be quiet. To access your galdr , you must first connect with the individual you’re trying to influence.
This connection comes from empathy and understanding.
You can persuade someone without eye contact, but it’s much easier this way.
Next, you reach into their own thoughts to understand their feelings.
Once you’ve made that connection, bend their thoughts to match yours. ”
“As long as it’s simple,” Darien muttered dryly.
“Just focus on gaining that connection first.”
Larissa’s face had cleared of emotion as Anara had spoken, but now her eyes betrayed apprehension and…
something else. Curiosity? It was a ledge that Darien could grab on to, something he could relate to.
He focused on his own feelings of confusion when the hallucinations had begun, how he had sought after answers, and how Larissa must have felt the same uncertainty as the pieces of her life were stripped away.
An overwhelming fountain of emotions poured into Darien.
Larissa’s emotions latched onto him like a string between their two minds, taut and liable to snap.
He tried to prod them gently but feared he would lose them if he didn’t hold tight.
He pushed forward with his own mind. Doubt clouded Larissa’s thoughts, but beyond that, he could feel something deeper, something stronger that left a bitter taste in his mouth.
He recognized it instantly. Guilt, the kind of guilt that kept a person up at night.
Forgoing caution, he dove in, inching his way past the confusion and anger, reaching for the source of the guilt.
What did Larissa not want to remember? In his mind’s eye, he saw a door.
He reached for the handle to open it.
“Enough.”
Someone shook his shoulder. Darien blinked, looking into Anara’s face, then past her.
Larissa’s eyes were closed, her dark lashes contrasting against her paled cheeks.
Halla was supporting her from the side. Darien felt the similar sickness as before but knew this guilt was all his own. “What did I do?”
Anara’s eyes were kind as she removed her hands from his shoulder.
“You found the connection, but you went past it. Your influence allows you access to a person’s thoughts and feelings, but you should never push too far.
You risk exploiting who they are and the places they keep private.
Knowing your boundaries is a key tenet of your galdr .
I didn’t know you would regain the ability to do so much so soon, or I would have warned you. ”
“Larissa, I’m sorry.” The apology sounded weak to Darien’s own ears.
But Larissa only pushed herself off of Halla’s shoulder, the color returning to her face. To Darien’s surprise, her eyes held not anger but understanding. “You doubted.”
“What?”
“I could feel your thoughts too. I didn’t realize you felt that way. You seemed to accept it all so easily, our past.” She paused at her own admission then turned to Anara. “How is it that I know what he was feeling?”
“The connection goes both ways when both parties possess galdr . Darien’s galdr is powerful, but it also makes him vulnerable if his opponent is mentally stronger than him. “She turned to Darien. “Relearning the nuances of your galdr will take years. Let’s try again.”
Darien glanced at Larissa. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She resettled, facing him. “We need to get to the Vienám and find safety, right? If this is how we get there, then we can’t waste time.”
“Alright then.” Anara put a hand on Darien’s shoulder. “This time, once you make the connection, stop digging. Focus instead on presenting a new thought for Larissa to follow. Something simple and noninvasive. Try making her yawn.”
Larissa was so close, Darien could see his reflection in her eyes.
He resisted the urge to tuck back a strand of hair that hung in her face.
Picking up on the same feelings of fear and doubt as before, he held them loosely, careful not to follow them too deeply.
A memory rose unbidden: two children sitting on the riverbank, telling stories by firelight.
His fingers itched to grab the memory, but he let it slide past unhindered.
He narrowed his eyes, maintaining the contact but blocking out everything else to focus on Larissa’s thoughts and feelings.
You’re tired , he thought. You feel like yawning .
Darien’s eyes widened as Larissa yawned in response. As if unaware that she had done so, she sat still, waiting for his command.
A smug smile tugged at Anara’s lips, but no, Darien could not let his mind wander; his connection with Larissa was waning. All at once, his head felt light and off-balance. He should probably stop, but he wanted to try something first.
Focus , he thought.
Instead of forcing Larissa to remember, he shaped his own thoughts, revealing the acceptance and peace he had come to feel over his own past. He fed those feelings to Larissa.
Not as a command, but as a suggestion. If he could help her in this way, he had to at least try and show her what acceptance could feel like.
Her shoulders, always so tight and pulled up around her neck, loosened and lowered if only an inch. It would have to be enough.
Without warning, the connection snapped. Trees spun around Darien in a nauseating dance. Anara held a bottle filled with water to his lips. He took it from her, draining it. “What happened?”
“That was the strangest thing I have ever experienced.” Larissa rubbed her temples, but she didn’t appear to be in pain. “Is there any way to guard against it?”
“There is, but that is a lesson for another night.” Anara was smiling. “Well done, Darien.”
“Did I do it wrong? I feel awful.”
“An unfortunate side effect of working with galdr . The power of the gods comes with a price. Every time you use it, it feeds off your own strength and energy. It’s why we practice to build up our endurance.”
“You can practice on me, too,” Halla offered.
“No one else is practicing anything tonight,” Anara said. “We’re all exhausted, and the sun is nearly down. We’ll only have a few hours of rest before we must leave.”
“What if someone comes for us when we’re asleep?”
“Don’t worry, Halla, I’ll stay up.”
“We can watch in shifts,” Darien suggested.
“No. I appreciate that, but you all look dead on your feet. I’m used to less sleep.”
Weariness killed any further protests. Exhaustion nestled into Darien’s bones, leaving them brittle and tender with every movement.
He could tell the others felt similarly by the way Larissa lowered herself onto her blankets, taking care not to move too quickly.
She lay down on her side, removing the gun from her waistband and setting it next to her blankets.
Yawning, Halla dragged her blankets closer to her sister before settling down. By the time the sun had truly set, they were settled. Anara propped herself up against a nearby tree, her yellow eyes glowing in the dark.
Although the girls nodded off immediately, Darien remained awake.
His body cried out for sleep, but his mind thrummed with renewed energy.
The galdr had awakened his old self more than his memories ever could.
Images flooded his vision: hours spent training with Aeron, learning not only how to control their galdr , but when it was to be used and how it should never be abused.
Darien could only dwell on thoughts of Aeron for so long without wanting to put his fist through a tree.
Not knowing how his brother died ate at Darien’s soul.
He tossed to his side, gazing at Larissa’s sleeping form only a few feet away.
Her long white braid lay coiled on the ground.
His racing mind slowed at the sight as he pondered what he had felt in her mind.
What lay behind that door he had seen? Why was she overwhelmed with guilt? Would she ever remember him?
He chastised himself for his own self-absorption. Larissa’s feelings for him were the least of their concerns.
Darien turned onto his back, staring up through the tree limbs that twisted and curved into one another.
The night sky was alive. In the middle of Darien’s vision, twin stars reflected their brilliance off one another.
The sight triggered another memory, a story he had once been taught about the stars. His eyelids sagged.
Then Halla whispered, “Lara. Lara?”
A muffled grunt.
“Lara, are you awake?”
There came the rustling of blankets followed by Larissa’s sleep-heavy voice. “I am now. You okay?”
“I can’t sleep.”
“What can I do?”
“Tell me a story?”
“You know more of Pappa’s stories than I do. What one do you want to hear?”
“Tell me something I haven’t heard before. Come on, Lara, I’m sure you heard different stories when you were the Princess. You have to remember something .”
For a long time, there was silence. Darien forced himself to stay still, his eyes closed, in case Larissa turned and saw that he was still awake. Finally, he heard her say, “Okay, I remember one, but you have to close your eyes and try to sleep.”
“Okay.”
“Halla.”
“Yeah?”
“Your eyes.”
“Oh, right.”
Darien grinned. He could picture Halla now, her eyes closed, but every so often opening to peek at Larissa.
He could hear more movement. Was Larissa brushing back Halla’s hair to soothe her?
Even as a child, Lovisa had always been jealous of Darien and Aeron’s relationship. She had always wanted a sibling.
Perhaps the Norn had given her one after all.
“There once was a lovely giantess named Skaei, born to the Jotnar …” Larissa’s soft voice pulled Darien into a trance.
Her words painted images on the back of his eyelids—giants, gods and goddesses, tricksters that could shapeshift, a maiden hidden in a walnut, a fiery death, and an unusual marriage. All the while, Darien’s heart raced because he knew the story, and he knew who had told it to her.
Larissa’s voice was no more than a whisper as she finished her tale. “That is why, every winter, when the twin stars shine brightest in the sky, we remember how Skaei’s loyalty and bravery put an end to further death and destruction.”
Halla’s yawn floated across the wind. “I like that story. Who told it to you?”
“A friend, I think. Try to get some sleep now.”
“We should all get some rest,” Anara added from her watch point. It seemed they all had been listening.
Larissa’s heavy breathing followed Halla’s quiet snores.
Unable to resist, Darien rolled over to see Halla wrapped in Larissa’s arms, the two of them fast asleep.
The warm feeling that started in his stomach reached his face as his lips broke into an unhindered smile.
Larissa said she didn’t remember him, but he knew the truth behind her words even if she did not.
They’d been only children when he told her that story, but some part of her remembered.
With the grin still on his face, he finally slept.