Chapter 8
8
Sam
My world stills as I see Josie walking into the room. Her arms are wrapped around her stomach. Her eyes and nose are red. My heart cracks knowing she’s hurting, and I am to blame. I jump from the couch desperate to wrap her in my arms and never let her go.
I’m pissed at Laura. I’ve blocked her and got her fired from the store. I couldn’t stomach being anywhere near her. Lucas said his father was going to take care of it. Apparently, their father was fed up with Laura’s bullshit and this was just icing on the cake. The guy loves Josie like a daughter. I’m glad she has him on her side.
I wanted to be there for her, help her through the hurt of Laura’s betrayal. She wouldn’t open the door. Being away from her the last couple days made me realize I never want to be away from her like that again. I’m in love with her and nothing is standing in our way now.
“I love you.” I blurt out. Smooth. Josie’s eyes widen, but she doesn’t say anything. She’s looks down at the ground. Uh oh.
“Sam–“ I interrupt before she can say what I hope she isn’t planning on saying.
“Wait, please, before you say anything you can’t take back. There is no reason why we can’t be together now. I’m not sorry Laura knows. I want everyone to know about us. But I am sorry she hurt you.” Josie looks up at me. Her eyes are glassy. I reach out to pull her into my arms, but she steps back out of my reach. Shit fuck.
“Sam.” She sighs. “What happens after this? What happens in a couple months when you graduate?”
“I’m entering the draft. I don’t know where I’ll be sent if I’m drafted. You’re heading to grad school after you graduate?” Where is she going with this? Wait. I think I know.
“Yes.”
“I need to stick with baseball for a couple years. By then you’ll be done with grad school. We’ll have to be long distance for a bit.” I know don’t have any right to ask this next part of her, but the idea of her moving on with anyone else, or myself being with anyone else, makes every muscle in my body revolt.
“Will you wait for me?” I ask softly. She doesn’t reply right away. Her eyes study me. I see the moment she’s made a decision. A look of resolve washes over her. Panic grips my heart.
“No,” she whispers. “I won’t wait for you.”
“Why not?” This cannot be happening. Am I having a heart attack? It clenches painfully. I rub my chest as my breath lodges in my throat.
“Because baseball isn’t what you want. You don’t want to join the draft. You don’t want to play professional baseball. I won’t wait for you when I know that path isn’t what you want.”
“I have to. My father will cut my brothers off. You know this. I can’t do that to them. It’s only until they graduate. Then I’ll quit baseball. Please. I don’t think I’ll survive not having you in my life. In my future. You’re it for me baby girl.” She is it for me. That thought settles in my heart.
“Have you talked to your brothers about this?” I shake my head. Neither know about the blackmail and threats. It’s better they don’t. Shawn still thinks our father hung the moon, and I can’t crush that illusion for him. Sebastian may suspect as he’s more observant than anyone gives him credit for, but I can’t be sure.
“Sebastian wouldn’t want you martyring yourself like this for him. He’s too prideful.” I snort. He is. “And Shawn is old enough to understand. Talk to them. Don’t let your dad continue dictating your life and theirs. They need to know. Let them make their own decisions. And you need to make your own too. You deserve to.”
She’s right. But she doesn’t know my father. It’s not that simple. It’s best to just let him have this until my brother’s graduate and get their trust funds.
I don’t respond. I don’t have to. She sees it on my face that I’ll be joining the draft. A tear slides down her cheek. I reach out again to pull her into my arms, but she takes another step back. Then another. Each step feels like a knife to my chest. Without another word, she turns and walks away.
I don’t stop her. I don’t move. I just let her leave.