Chapter 12
12
Ryan
“Come on.”
He reached out a hand, desperate to touch her, but how could he tell if she felt the same? He’d already made more than one mistake.
This time, Alice took his hand when he offered it. Ryan’s fingers interwove through hers. The connection between them was growing. He could feel it flowing up his arm and into his chest. This was his chance.
“Just one thing, Alice.” He held her eyes. “No more pretend. We need to talk honestly.” Alice silently nodded in agreement. “I hate to say this, but in some ways, Sam is right. One or both of us could get hurt here, and that's why we must be straight with each other. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.” He squeezed her hand as his eyes closed.
“I understand.” Her voice was soft, and he searched her face for the reassurance he needed.
“Do you?” His thumb stroked her palm as he peered deeper into her soul.
“We have a lot to talk about.” They walked on without speaking, still communicating with exchanged looks and smiles. Ryan squeezed Alice's hand as he shortened his stride to match hers more closely. When they arrived back at her impossibly small tent, he stood back to let her open it.
“I forgot how tiny this is,” he sighed.
“We fitted OK last night, didn't we?” The tremble in her voice touched him.
“We did. I'm hoping I can get even closer to you tonight.”
“Me too! I’m not sure how I stopped myself from lying across you.” She laughed as she crawled through the flap, leaving a stunned Ryan standing outside.
“Why didn't you?”
“We didn’t agree to pretend until this morning.”
“And?” He said, following her in, his head ducked low.
“And you forget you guys have quite the reputation.”
“That again.”
Alice fussed with the pillows and quilt. She put her phone on some sort of holder and played soft music. Ryan looked quizzically at her.
“So, people don't hear us …”
“Oh,” his eyebrows raised.
“I mean talking,” she smirked.
“Ah! So, are we … just talking?”
“I don't know about the ‘just’ part. Christa gave you quite a tempting reference.” Her smile was wide and teasing.
“She did?” Ryan’s smile matched hers.
“Yes. She also said you were too hung up on some ‘fabulous volleyballer’.”
Ryan kissed her gently. “She's right.”
“So, you went out with her?”
“Only a couple of times.” He squeezed her hand. “I told you I knew her.”
“So, when we were pretending …”
“That’s your word, not mine.”
“You suggested it was because of Tom.” He kissed her cheek.
“That's how the kissing started.” He touched his lips to hers.
“You’re sure it had nothing to do with Christa?” Ryan pulled back to look at her.
“No! It’s weird, though, isn’t it? That Tom should bring her?” His mouth found hers. His tongue explored, taking the time to taste and remember this. This could be my only chance. His fingers roamed into her hair, holding her head gently. He closed his eyes as her palm swept across his chest. His job helped, but his dedication to his training defined his toned torso.
“Oh! Ryan … I can't believe …” she laid back and pulled the pillow over her face. “This is not what I expected when I arrived.”
Ryan rolled onto his back, his arm still around Alice.
“What were you expecting?”
“That it would be awkward. Obviously, I expected Tom to be here. The others are struggling, trying not to mention him.”
“Is it difficult?” He asked tentatively, and she laughed.
“His name seems to make my eyes roll - it's weird. No, I found it difficult seeing him with Christa and how he behaved so differently with her.” Ryan combed his fingers through her hair.
“That probably says more about her than him.” He hugged her closer, nuzzling into her neck. “It’s still crap, moving out without saying anything, bringing her. Don't get me started on him saying you shouldn't have come. He deserves all he’ll get from her. Please don’t let my past with Christa ruin my chance with you, Alice. This isn’t some whim.”
“Do we need to talk about them?”
“No,” he whispered softly into her delicate neck, kissing down to her shoulder.
“So about us … and not pretending? What does that mean?”
“Don’t ask me. I've never been a boyfriend before.”
“Is that what we are?”
“I'd like to try. I could be rubbish at it.” His voice trailed off as he twirled her hair around a finger.
“We could take this one day at a time.”
“I wish I could stay like this for longer than a day.” He squeezed her closer, taking a deep breath and smelling the apples in her shampoo. Alice's hand slipped under his top. Ryan held his breath.
“I can take my T-shirt off?” he offered.
“Don't let me stop you,” she giggled. With one hand behind his neck, he pulled the T-shirt clear of his body.
Ryan laid back, relieved when Alice laid down, resting her face on his bare chest. He kissed the top of her head as her hands spread across his torso. The delicate touch of her fingers set his skin alight. He dreamed of moments like this. The soft noises coming from Alice suggested she was happy, too.
A finger under her chin lifted her lips to his. He needed to taste her.
“Alice, I …” When he couldn't find the words, he tried another way to tell her how he felt. The instant his lips touched hers, she responded with a sensual swipe of her tongue. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. I must show her how much she means to me. I can learn this boyfriend thing. For her, I can try. With these thoughts, he deepened the kiss as his tongue tangoed with hers, tempting and teasing. He held back, not letting his hands roam too far. He'd been fighting this since the moment she'd held on to him at that first hug on Friday night.
This was not just a chance; after Sam’s outburst tonight, this was possibly his last chance. His blood raced to his groin, wanting to be ready. I need her to set the pace tonight.
Alice’s hand slipped lower. Ryan stilled his breathing, trying not to expect more. She let out a soft ‘oh’ as her hand hit the tip of his erection.
“I didn't mean …” she spluttered.
“It’s OK, Alice.”
“We haven't talked about …”
“I have a condom if that's what you mean, but if you're not ready, that's OK. I've waited. I can wait longer.”
“I …”
“Let's just relax.” Alice lifted her head to kiss him again. Kiss after kiss. Ryan finally felt blissfully happy. When Alice moved her kisses down, licking up his neck and around his ear, holding back got harder, and Ryan couldn't stop the groan escaping.
“And there he is.”
“Sorry?”
“The man with the reputation! I thought I was doing something wrong. If it wasn't for this,” she touched the tip of his cock again, “I wouldn't know how you felt.”
“Oh Alice, you have no idea how much I'm struggling …”
“What with?” Her eyes, now searching his face.
“Rolling you on your back and pushing so hard we’ll be into next week.” As Ryan watched, she peeled off her denim dress. When she reached to release her bra, he stopped her. “Let me.” His nimble fingers unclipped and removed the black lace. His fingertips skimmed inside the lace edge of her knickers, looking for permission.
Alice bit her lip and offered him a slow nod. He began to taste her body, starting at one nipple, licking, and circling and moving to the next. His hands moved ahead of his mouth, tracing her curves and exploring the smooth, soft skin. Alice's head fell back.
“I think we're going to need that condom.”