Chapter 18
ACROSS THE HARBOR FROM THE SAILING CLUB sat Swan, a long white clapboard building with the smallest parking lot in all of Essex Harbor.
Griff circled for almost ten minutes before admitting defeat.
“You’re gonna get dizzy, Keeler!” one of the college-age cater-waiters called on his way inside, which Griff took as his cue to park up the street.
My feet ached a little by the time we made it back to the restaurant, but I still smiled at the gold placard above the door: an etching of two swans kissing. Their necks formed a heart.
“We’re here for the Constellation Catering party!” Kenzie told Swan’s hostess after she greeted us. A curved staircase led upstairs to the main bar and restaurant, but the hostess directed us to the private room on the first floor.
Voices and music drifted toward us, and Griff whistled when we pushed through the doors.
The room was timeless with its gleaming wood floor, lantern wall sconces, and white-marble-topped bar.
Instead of round tables seating eight to ten, long oak farm tables ran parallel to one another.
Each one was decorated with a navy-blue table runner, tea candles, and small, flower-filled vases.
This might be prettier than prom next week, I thought.
“The bud vases were my idea,” someone said, and I turned to see Tate in a cute violet jumpsuit. She sipped a soda. “We didn’t need to break the bank on flowers.”
I laughed. When your mother owned an event planning firm, I guess you learned all the tricks early. “When are you double-knotting your Constellation apron?” I joked, but whatever Tate quipped back turned to white noise when I felt a light hand on my lower back.
“Hey, Hepburn,” Henry said when I turned.
My heart quickened; he looked so handsome in a gray suit with the top two buttons of his white dress shirt undone.
I noticed his black belt was the one I’d gotten him for his birthday.
Henry surprisingly didn’t love monograms, which I’d found out after I’d had his initials embossed on its silver buckle. hfc, for Henry Francis Chen.
And his hair—it was Henry hair, dark and thick and artfully unkempt. Hair I realized I desperately wanted to run my hands through. I’d had a hundred opportunities and hadn’t taken nearly enough of them.
Oh my god, I thought, head spinning at Henry’s mere existence. How were we ever only friends? How did I ever put out that spark I first felt?
“Tate, would you excuse us for a minute?” Henry asked as I surreptitiously glanced around for Ellie. She was nowhere to be seen among Constellation’s mingling staff. “I need to talk to Audrey.”
“Of course.” Tate nodded. “I’ll get drinks.”
“I’m sorry I’m late,” I said once Tate was out of earshot, off on a mission to get two of Swan’s signature mocktails. Henry already held one. “Parking was—”
Henry cut me off. “Did something happen to Brigitta?”
“No.”
“Okay.” He nodded. “Then why did Griff drive you here?”
I kept quiet, my pulse beginning to pound.
“You walked in with him,” Henry said, as if I needed a refresher. “After blowing me off earlier, you showed up with him tonight.” A pause. “Why?”
“Because he offered,” I said, keeping my voice low. “And it was more like he just gave me a ride, because he chauffeured Kenzie and Mia too, so…” I shrugged.
Henry looked at me, his eyes heavy with something. Judgment? Disappointment? Maybe even hurt?
A lump formed in my throat. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Henry; I’d never forget him showing up at the hot shop postbreakup with Ellie, tears streaming down his face and carrying his shattered heart.
Unsure what to say, I shifted from one high heel to the other.
Where was Tate with our drinks?
“We should talk,” Henry said. “Let’s go out outside.” He gestured to the far wall, with its floor-to-ceiling glass sliding doors that led to the back deck.
Hesitant, I said, “Caroline’s probably going to make her welcome remarks soon.”
“I don’t think she’ll mind.” Henry offered me his hand. “The rest of the room will be rapt.”
I let him lace his fingers through mine and lead me through the party. Hi’s and hello’s and oh-my-god-you-look-amazing’s were dropped, but we didn’t stop to talk to anyone.
Tonight’s sunset was breathtaking, a warm golden glow on the blue horizon. I’d miss the summertime sunsets when I was at Blue Ridge—if I was at Blue Ridge. I loved watching them from our beach, bright pink bleeding into an endless orange. What would North Carolina’s sunsets look like?
Henry and I walked down the deck and around the corner so the party wouldn’t see us.
I took a deep breath when he leaned against the wrought iron railing.
The harbor breeze swept through his hair, tempting me to reach out and smooth it back into place.
“All right,” he said, our eyes locking. His brown irises shined in the market lights strung above us.
“Tell me, really—why are you accepting rides from Griff?”
Because I have a crush on him should’ve been my answer.
But it wasn’t the truth, at least not anymore.
I knew that now.
“Because I was mad at you,” I said, chest clenching. “It was payback for asking Ellie to drive you to school this morning instead of me.”
Henry quizzically tilted his head.
I felt myself flush. “Yes, I might as well be Tate’s age. It was immature and stupid and petty, and I’m sorry.” My heart hammered. “But at the same time, I’m also not sorry, because what we’re doing is immature and stupid and petty, and I can’t play along anymore.”
Suddenly wide-eyed, Henry opened his mouth, but I didn’t give him even a beat to speak.
“I don’t regret agreeing to our deal,” I said.
“You were crushed after Ellie ended things. I wanted to do whatever I could to make things better, even if it meant pretending to date you to make her see her monumental mistake. It was never really about Griff. He’s Griff, but it’s always been more about you.
” I blinked, coming to terms with the truth.
First, I’d wanted to protect Henry, help him, and now…
“This thing needs to end.” I gestured between us.
“I can’t be your girlfriend anymore, because I’ve recently realized that I want to be your girlfriend.
Maybe you’re the love of Ellie’s life, but I selfishly also want you to be the loss of her life.
” I paused. “You know, that sounded way less dramatic and horrible in my head, and I think I’m semiquoting a song. I just meant…”
“I know what you meant,” Henry whispered once I trailed off. His left hand landed lightly on my waist and I felt his thumb brush across my hip bone as he gave me a long look. “Are you drunk?”
My pulse spiked. Was I what?
“Or high?” he asked.
“Are you?” I whispered, feeling sparks on my skin. “I tell you I’m in love with you, and your immediate response—”
“You didn’t,” he interrupted. “You basically said you didn’t want me to be with Ellie, but you didn’t tell me you loved me.” He paused. “And we only ever talk like this when we’re drunk.” He grimaced. “Or unknowingly high.”
I winced, because he was right. “I’m me,” I emphasized, but my voice wavered, and for some inexplicable reason, I suddenly was fighting tears. “I’m your best friend, Hank.”
“I hate it when you call me that,” he replied, and a heartbeat after, his lips quirked into a cheeky smile, I took his face in my hands, and I crushed my mouth against his.
Henry’s lips were warm and soft, with a hint of spicy sweetness that might’ve been Swan’s famous cherry-ginger mocktail—or it might’ve just been Henry.
My heart ached before melting into molten glass.
We broke apart to breathe, then laughed before kissing again.
My insides swooped and soared when he pressed me up against the deck’s railing and kissed me like we had to prove something to everyone watching…
except we didn’t. There was no one here, only us.
Henry, Henry, Henry was all I could think.
The temperature had dipped and the breeze had picked up, but he felt like a furnace.
I curled my fingers around the collar of his jacket and pulled him closer until his hips dug into mine.
His hands were trembling but warm as his fingers came up to cradle the sides of my face, and I wished I didn’t need to break the moment to breathe.
“That was a Hollywood kiss,” I whispered once my lungs were full of sea air. “Wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” Henry whispered back. “It was Technicolor.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Not your best line.”
“Agreed.” His brown eyes were mesmerizing. “It sounded more romantic when we were high.”
HOMECOMING WRAPPED UP AROUND TEN, and by 10:15, we high schoolers were in the Union Jack booth at Hamburger Hill.
Tate, bless her, had tried to talk her way into tagging along, but her mom had nipped that in the bud.
“Would you let me go if Ellie were here?” Tate asked, and I’d had to swallow a giggle when her mom said, “Since she’s not, I couldn’t tell you. ”
Ellie had said she was sick tonight.
I hope you feel better soon, I’d texted, but hadn’t gotten a response. I suspected something else was up.
“Oh man, Audrey!” Griff said after we ordered milkshakes and fries. He was sitting across from me, pickleball tie loosened and holding court with Mia on his left and Kenzie on his right. “We never touched base tonight.”
“Touched base?” I blinked. Under the table, Henry was idly drumming his fingertips against my thigh. It made things a little difficult to focus. Every single one of my brain cells was dialed in to his touch.
“My idea,” he reminded me. “My idea for Fair Winds’ expansion.”
Henry’s fingers stopped, and on my other side, Jared said, “Uh, what expansion?”
I couldn’t think of a better question myself.
“Okay, so, Audrey and I were shooting the shit after gym today,” Griff said. “You know, talking about Here-to-Stay rent and how much she still needs to pay back her parents.”