Chapter 23 #2
“Listen, Ellie,” I heard myself say. “Henry and I might be together now, but he was all-in with you long after you ended things.” I took a deep breath.
“He was so determined to get you back that we pretended to date each other, hoping it would make you jealous.” I swallowed hard.
“And I know how incredibly stupid that sounds, but I agreed because it was killing me to see him so sad, and because a part of me also believed it might work.” I winced.
“I really didn’t consider the possible side effects. ”
Ellie was silent. She wouldn’t even look at me. Blood thumped in my ears as her gaze shifted to toes, now painted pale pink.
Mistake, I thought. You’ve made a big mistake—a huge mistake!
“One side effect being you falling for him?” she asked right as I was considering getting up and showing myself out. “Or realizing you’d already fallen for him?”
“I’m the worst,” I squeaked. “Tell me I’m the worst.”
“Try overdramatic,” she snapped, but not unkindly. “It takes two to tango, Audrey. Henry’s just as much of an idiot as you—and as me, for that matter.”
What is she talking about? I wondered.
“I tried,” she explained. “I tried so hard to steer you away from Henry by helping you with Griff. But you just seemed so into Henry.”
“I guess I’m a better actress than I thought,” I whispered, remembering Ellie’s and my Rise instead, he wore a sharply tailored navy tux with a black bow tie and lapels. Ellie’s mom playfully catcalled him, and I laughed when he raised his Ray-Bans and said, “Excuse me, Caroline, but you’re my boss!”
We took pictures in front of the Hoppers’ peonies. Ellie looked beautiful in a strapless champagne-colored gown, and Bridget popped in pink. “You look incredible,” Henry whispered as Mr. Hopper and his mom snapped pictures. “Holly.”
“Shut up,” I said through my smile. I hadn’t purposely chosen a gown that looked like Audrey Hepburn’s iconic Breakfast at Tiffany’s black dress, but I leaned into her look a little.
My hair was too short for an updo, so Tate had used Etsy-acquired jeweled barrettes to pull it back, and my mom had let me wear her sparkly wreath-shaped statement necklace (I’d asked!).
Tate had done a light smoky palette for my eye makeup.
I drew the line at the opera gloves—there was a line between an homage and a costume.
But I still felt like Audrey, with an edge.
Essex Harbor High’s senior prom was held at the sailing club, but because Constellation Catering had done so many weddings there, the whole thing was a little underwhelming.
“Are those the same Chinese lanterns from the Newfield wedding last summer?” I asked Henry while we waited in line for sparkling lemonade.
“They might be,” he said, looking up. “I do remember one being punctured during tear-down.”
“The decorations are amazing, aren’t they?” someone squealed, and Henry and I turned to see Kenzie on Griff’s arm. Underclassmen dates weren’t allowed to wear gowns, so she had donned an embellished mint-green cocktail dress. She looked thrilled to be here, and I loved that for her.
Griff was dashing in a classic tuxedo. I couldn’t help but swoon a little. In response, Henry snorted and zapped my waist, setting off a swirl of heat on my skin. Griff and I would’ve had fun together, I thought as he fist-bumped Henry. But being here with the right person is better.
We weren’t eating dinner at the same table, so Griff double-checked that we were coming to the after-party.
Since my parents weren’t back yet, there had been an eleventh-hour campaign for me to host it, but I reminded everyone that Griff’s friend Jason had volunteered last semester: I don’t want to take that from him, do you?
There was no way I could handle two house parties in one week.
“Did Griff actually secure the band for Saturday?” I asked later, on the dance floor. After a series of fist-pumping songs, Henry and I were swaying to Billie Eilish. The lyrics weren’t romantic whatsoever, but the melody and the feel of Henry’s hands on me lulled me into a dreamlike trance.
“Believe it or not, he did,” Henry said. “His cousin emailed me scans of the band’s signed NDA. Illegible handwriting, but I guess that’s rock and roll.”
I giggled. “They’re guys. Of course their handwriting sucks.”
Henry squared his shoulders. “My handwriting doesn’t suck.”
“Yeah, but you’re Henry.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you’re special—an original.”
He smirked. “That’s the best compliment you’ve ever paid me.”
“Really?” I gave him a look. “‘I love you’ isn’t number one?”
We were still dancing, but I felt him bristle. My heart dipped. Why? What was wrong?
“I’m going to miss you,” I murmured when he didn’t say anything. “You know, while I’m at Blue Ridge. I’m really going to miss you, Hank.”
“Me too,” he whispered, not quite looking at me.
“And thank you,” I added, squeezing his shoulder. “Thank you for helping me these past few weeks.” I took a deep breath. “Really, Henry. Maybe it was Griff’s bonkers idea, but I’d never be able to repay my parents and actually go to Blue Ridge without you.”
Stone-faced, Henry nodded once.
“What?” My eyebrows knitted together when he reached up to rub his eyes. “What’s up?”
I felt my heart start to hammer, and then I swear all of space and time stopped when Henry sighed and said: “Audrey, I don’t think this is going to work.”
I TRIED TO MAKE A CASUAL EXIT FROM THE dance floor, and Henry followed suit.
My pulse had surged again and again by the time we made it to the perfect place for a private conversation: the sailing club’s hall of prehistoric phone booths.
“What do you mean you don’t think this is going to work?
” I asked after we’d shut ourselves into a space so small that it would make my claustrophobic mother sweat. “What’s this?”
Was he talking about this weekend? My final Here-to-Stay hosting gig? Successfully keeping the truth from my parents? Something else?
“Skipping college,” Henry told me, color rushing to his cheeks. “I don’t think turning down Wharton is a smart idea.”
Betrayal stung my cheeks. “But…”
“I’m so proud of you,” Henry said. “The Blue Ridge fellowship is an incredible opportunity, and you absolutely need to do it. You’re meant to go.” He took my hands and squeezed them. “But, Hepburn, why are you writing off college entirely?”
“Oh my god,” I said, my voice pitchy. “You agree with my parents.”
“No.” Henry shook his head. “I don’t agree with them.
” He grimaced. “But honestly, I can’t say I disagree with them either.
I always stop myself from bringing this up with you, because I already know the answer, but…
” He ran a hand through his hair. “Have you ever considered going to Penn after Blue Ridge? Taking a gap year?”
Blood pulsed in my ears. “I mean, not really,” I said.
The thought had crossed my mind, but only briefly.
“Nothing can compete with Blue Ridge’s level of exposure.
If everything goes well, I’ll have a shot at other fellowships or residencies all over the country.
It’s not like I can defer those until after I graduate college.
” I folded my arms across my chest. “If I just focus on glass, I’ll be good enough to launch Golightly Glass for real. ”
“You’re amazing, Audrey,” Henry said. “And you’ll be in an entirely different stratosphere after intensive professional instruction.” Pause. “You also got into one of the country’s top undergraduate business programs.”
“And I’m proud of myself!” I exclaimed. “But that doesn’t mean—”
“It might,” he cut me off. “Golightly Glass won’t grow if the only thing you’re capable of is blowing glass.
It’s a business, so you also need to have a head for business.
Otherwise, it’s not going to survive.” He gave me a bittersweet smile.
“I know you dream of something bigger than Etsy. You want a state-of-the-art hot shop right behind a gallery, like Emilia’s.
You want a booth at Philadelphia’s Christmas Village, and for people to buy your vases and candlesticks as wedding gifts.
You want an empire that rivals Simon fucking Pearce’s. ”
The corners of my eyes started to prickle. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
“Audrey, I love you, but I don’t think the business end is going to be as easy as it is on Etsy. You’ll need to know the ropes backward and forward. Golightly Glass is going to be about more than just glassblowing.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out; instead, this weird moment of déjà vu came over me. Okay, no. I remembered Henry shaking his head. We were in my hot shop. You’re going to college. You need to go to college.
Or what? I’d countered.
Or all this—he gestured around the garage—disappears.
Fuck. It hit me. My dream—my repetitive nightmare-dream! I’d always shrugged off the part about Henry saying he could end the party, but was he right?
Blue Ridge isn’t your only big break, a voice in the back of my head said, sounding a little like my dad. Not everyone gets into the Wharton School of Business…
I didn’t want to think about that now, so I latched on to something else Henry had said.
“You love me?” I breathed.
He looked stunned. “Yes, I love you,” he said. “Of course I love you!”
My stomach stirred. “As your business partner? Best friend? Girl of your dreams?”
Because I wanted to hear it from him.
“Audrey,” he said. “You are going to Blue Ridge next month, for the whole year, and after that, wherever glassblowing takes you.” His voice cracked. “You need to be free to do that.”
“I am free to do that,” I responded. “I can walk out the door right now.”
He shook his head. “I meant I don’t want you to feel tethered anywhere. I’ll be in New York for the next four years; I don’t want you to feel tugged there if it’s not the best opportunity for you. I don’t want you to miss out on anything.”
I couldn’t help it; I rolled my eyes. “You don’t think we’d last, do you?
” I surmised, pulse pounding. “What was it you said about Ellie and Chase? They wouldn’t last because long-distance relationships are doomed, even with the ‘best intentions and purest hearts.’” I shook my head. “God, what movie is that line from?”
“It’s not from a movie,” he replied. “I made it up.”
My heart twisted. “Well, for the record,” I said, tears threatening to spill, “I would’ve at least liked to give it a shot.” I started gathering up my dress and accidentally elbowed Henry in the stomach. Oof. “You would’ve been a touchstone, Hank. Not a tether.”
I waited for him to say something.
He didn’t.