Rowan
I lock up the bar and head out into the cool night. The streets are a little quieter now. I take a deep breath, the fresh air clearing my mind, but my thoughts keep drifting back to Grayson. He looked at me like I was the most interesting person in the room, I can’t say anyone has ever looked at me that way before.
Shaking my head, I brush off the undeniable excitement bubbling inside me. He’s just another city guy that thinks I’ll jump into bed with him. Especially when he keeps leaving big bills on the table.
I walk a few blocks to my apartment, a cozy studio on the third floor of an old brick building. The familiar creak of the floor welcomes me home and makes me feel all the more exhausted. I kick my shoes off, feeling the rough carpet under my feet. The place is small, maybe a little dated, but it’s mine. My safe space. Abstract paintings line my walls along with framed photos of places I dream of visiting someday. They used to hold photo frames, but I never had anything to replace the pictures that came with the frames. When I took those down, that was the moment I knew I was truly alone. But I wasn’t sad, if anything I was relieved. Family is overrated and good friends are few and far between.
I head to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge for something to eat. Leftover red beans and rice will do. I pop the glass food container into the microwave and pour myself a glass of ice wine– It’s the one thing I reward myself with. While I wait, I glance around the room. It’s cluttered with books stacked haphazardly on the coffee table, a pile of laundry waiting to be folded on the couch and there’s a few dishes in the sink. I make a mental note to tackle chores tomorrow morning .
The microwave beeps and I take my food to the couch, settling in with a sigh. I grab the remote and turn on an episode of Dexter . The suspense filled show is the most excitement I experience most weekends. Some people would say it’s sad, but it’s actually peaceful. I enjoy spending time with myself.
I finish the episode and reach for the fantasy novel I’ve been reading, pulling a fleece throw blanket over my legs. It’s a Totally crazy Saturday night. I love living through the stories I read, it’s always been my escape, or at least since junior high when I read The Clique.
As I turn the pages, I feel my eyelids getting heavy. I drag myself into bed, too tired to do anything more than change into my pajamas. I stare at the ceiling, Grayson creeping back into my mind. I don’t understand why he made such an impression on me. Most guys don’t have an effect on me at all, at least not like this. They all have the same intentions and it’s always the same boring conversation. I shouldn’t be nervous, I’m sure he’s just like everyone else.
I close my eyes, letting the anticipation mix with the exhaustion. As sleep pulls me under, I let my thoughts shift away from Grayson. I don’t need a man I just met taking up space in my mind. Tomorrow will be just like every other date I’ve ever been on, and I’ll be back to being comfortably alone.