Rowan
Grayson and I have hardly spoken the past few days. Part of me is disappointed that he hasn’t tried to win me back after the other night, but I’m also relieved because I don’t have to fight anything anymore. I don’t have to play this push and pull game with him. I can finally look forward to my future and put this all behind me when the time comes.
Grayson walks into the kitchen, cutting off my thoughts. “I’m heading back to Chicago in a couple of days. You’re going to France to stay with my mom and Laila until things are taken care of,” he says, not even looking at me.
“How long is that going to take?” I ask.
He shrugs. “Shouldn’t be too long. Maybe a week, depending on how things go.”
I take a deep inhale and sit at the counter. “When do I leave? ”
“Today. I’ll take you to the jet around three, so pack everything you need.” He pulls out a phone from the pocket of his sweatpants, handing it to me. “Here. It’s time you keep a phone on you now. No social media, you still have to lay low.”
I feel relief wash over me at the thought of things going back to normal. I open up the IPhone to set it up, but I see Grayson has already taken care of it with my only contacts being him, Sophia and Laila. I finish the last of my coffee and head to the stairs to go pack.
As I finish packing the rest of my clothes, I come across the cork to the wine bottle from the night Grayson set up our picnic date. He probably kept it by accident, but I want to take it with me to never forget that night. Admittedly, I’m going to miss him– for a little while at least. I know once I have time to be alone and process everything, I’ll be happy with the choice I’ve made.
“How are you coming along?” Grayson says, leaning on the frame of the bedroom door.
“Good. I just have to grab my makeup bag and I’ll be ready to go.” I force a smile at him. On the inside, a big part of me is hurting, but that’s just what comes with change. We’ve been together every day for months, of course it’s going to be hard .
“You know,” he hesitates for a moment, looking down. “I heard you telling those guys that work for Conejo that you haven’t seen me, that you didn’t know where I was. Why?”
I shrug, trying to find an explanation. “Why would I throw you under the bus?”
He looks around, thoughtfully. “Because I had you cuffed to the bed, I didn’t let you leave, I forced you to stay here, I was an asshole, the list goes on.”
I laugh dryly. “You also saved me and stuck your neck out to keep me safe, Grayson. What kind of person would I be if I sold you out to spare myself a beating?”
He meets my gaze. “You’re making it harder for me to say goodbye to you, you know? You’re perfect.”
I shake my head, trying to hide my smile. “I’m far from perfect. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, Grayson. I also appreciate you showing me what love feels like.” I feel a lump in my throat, but swallow it down and paste on a half smile.
He looks shocked at my words. He steps further into the room and closer to me, leaving a small space between us. “If love is what you feel, why are you leaving?” His voice is barely above a whisper.
I feel tears begin to well in my eyes but I blink them away. “Because love isn’t enough.”
Grayson’s expression hardens and his jaw ticks. “Well when you decide it is, you have my number. Let’s go.” He grabs my suitcases and walks out, leaving his words in my mind like a bad headache. I grab my phone and makeup bag and head out of the room to the staircase. I pause at the top of the stairs, taking in one last image of the place where I felt at home for the first time in my life. My mind fills with memories of Laila and Sophia popping in early mornings, Grayson standing at the end of these stairs looking at me with stars in his eyes, the feeling of excitement I had every day that my feet touched the cold marble knowing that I’d find him in the kitchen with a cup of coffee for me. The one that hurts the most is the memory of him and I in the kitchen the morning after our picnic date– we just couldn’t stop smiling at each other as he prepared breakfast. I feel a sharp pain in my chest at the thought and cling to it for a fleeting moment, then suppress it with a deep breath. I value the time we’ve spent together. Now it’s time to take the memories with me and move on.
The front door clicks shut behind me and I make my way to the car where Grayson is waiting on the passenger side to open my door for me like he always does. I slide into the seat, feeling anxious for my flight to France. But I’m also excited to see Laila again, we haven’t talked since the day Grayson took me to Isola Bella.
“What are you taking care of back in Chicago?” I ask, breaking the silence as we drive down the long empty road. It’s probably a stupid question to ask, a question I’m sure he won’t answer.
“Conejo is dead. Now I have to make sure the rest of his organization is out of the way. They’re like fuckin’ roaches, these guys. You see one and then a hundred more come out of the woodwork.”
I look over at him in shock. “Conejo is dead? Since when? Why the fuck haven’t you told me about this?”
He sighs, leaning back on his headrest. “One question at a time, Row.” He glances over at me and his expression softens. “I killed him when you ran. Turns out he just so happened to be in Sicily and I thought his men had taken you. The point is, the root of the problem is gone.”
I feel anxious at the thought that they could have taken me within that time, but relieved knowing that he’s gone. “How? I mean, you ran from him, how were you able to do it? ”
He grips the steering wheel. “It doesn’t matter and I didn’t fuckin’ run from him. I was being smart about the situation we were in because had I not, we would have all been dead.”
“But if you were able to kill him, why didn’t you do it in Chicago?”
He looks over and I can tell I struck a nerve. “Yeah, . I should have just gone to Conejo with his army surrounding him and tried to shoot every one of them with no back up. That would have totally been a smart move.” His tone is so sarcastic like I’m some child.
“Don’t talk to me like I’m fucking stupid, Grayson. I’m just trying to understand.”
He takes the exit to the hangar, shaking his head. “Don’t ask stupid questions then. You want nothing to do with this, right? I got him alone and now he’s gone. That’s the end of it.”
He isn’t completely wrong. With as much as I’ve made it known that I don’t want to be a part of any of this, I don’t blame him for not wanting to talk to me about it anymore. We sit in silence for the rest of the car ride. As he pulls into the hangar, it all sets in. I may never see Grayson again. The man I unwillingly married and unwillingly fell in love with. Yes, in love .
Grayson hands my bags to his pilot and walks over to me to say goodbye. “The jet has wifi. Call me if you need anything, Row.” He brushes the back of his hand against my cheek, and his gaze flickers over me, as if he’s memorizing every feature of my face.
I wrap my arms around him as he plants a soft kiss on my head. “Goodbye, Grayson.” My eyes fill with tears as I say those final words.
“Goodbye, .”