Chapter 33
THIRTY-THREE
Zephyrine
Dakota has me on a horse and riding a trail that’s so beautiful I almost forget I should be afraid.
It helps that Teddy is absolutely living up to his name, greeting me like I’m one of his favorite people—probably because of all the treats I feed him, if we’re being honest—and being incredibly patient while Dakota tries to build on the basics I’ve already learned.
Levi went off to work on some elements of his plan.
Meeting a guy he thinks could help us get onto my father’s ranch and spending the day with Grant while his fiancée tries to make a horsewoman out of me.
I don’t think I’ll be entering any riding competitions anytime soon, but Teddy has definitely made me feel like I might get used to this whole trail-riding thing. And maybe even like it a little bit.
We make our way around another bend, and suddenly the creek we're riding along opens wide, and I can hear the sound of gushing water in the distance. Dakota looks back at me and grins.
“Thought I’d show you the falls today!” she calls out as we continue around.
My heart nearly stops when I see the full force of the waterfall, the spray creating a colorful arched bow in the midday sun, and the rush of the water into a sizable pool at the bottom.
“They’re gorgeous!” I call back as Teddy brings me around to get a better look.
“Right?” She hops down and ties off her horse before coming to help me.
I’ve gotten the hang of it, but I appreciate that she’s there to spot me when I climb down. We tie Teddy up next to her horse and walk to the edge of the water. The mist blows toward us with the soft breeze, and she pulls out a flask from her jacket, offering it to me.
“I don’t know. I got myself into trouble the last time.” I look at the ornate little container cautiously.
“Good trouble, I hope?” She glances over at me.
“I think so. You'll have to ask Levi his opinion.”
“I don’t think I need to ask. It's pretty clear to anyone who pays attention that he’s obsessed with you.
I was waiting for him to throw his coat on the ground the other night so you didn’t step in any puddles on the way back to the ranch house.
” She flashes me a knowing look because Grant grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder on our walk back.
“He’s so sweet.” I shake my head, taking the flask against my better judgment. I take a long swig before I hand it back to her, letting the flavor sit on my tongue for a moment before it burns its way down my throat.
“See that right there; you’re the only person on earth who describes Levi Stockton as sweet.”
“I mean, not always. Obviously.”
“No, definitely not always.”
“You two don’t get along?” I ask.
“We do. We just both sit on Grant’s shoulders and sometimes pull him in different directions. But I’m learning to love him. Those Stockton boys.” She shakes her head. “Ramsey’s nearly back in my good graces. Hazel’s a lot more forgiving than I am.”
“What about Aspen? Have you met her?” I’m so curious about the absent sister.
“Oh, I’ve met her. She’s terrifying.”
“Is she? Levi said she’s a professor. I thought maybe she was a little less Stockton-like than the rest.”
“She basically threatened to cut my heart out with a spoon the first time she saw me with Grant, if that sounds less Stockton-like to you.”
I let out a low whistle. “Okay, maybe I don’t want to meet her.”
“Nah. She’d like you. You’re smart, and she’d probably love that her brother’s fallen for a nun.”
“Oh, I don’t think he’s fallen for me. Fond of me, protective—yes. But he doesn’t strike me as the settling-down sort.”
“Who says you have to settle down? One of Grant’s best qualities is that he likes supporting whatever wild ideas I have, just as long as he can be the safety net when I jump.”
“You two are adorable together. You’re such a good match for him. I can see why he’d pick someone like you.”
“Someone like me?” Her brow arches skyward.
“Strong, independent, outgoing, goal-oriented. You’re everything I wanted to be when I grew up.”
“Well, I hate to be the one to tell you, but you’re all grown up.”
“I’m not remotely extroverted,” I argue.
“I mean, I don’t think I’ll see you throwing any wild parties, but you do all right. You’re friendly, thoughtful, approachable. I wish I did a better job of that. We all wish we were a little bit of something else, you know? Grass is always greener.”
“True,” I agree. “But I just know the way he sees me, like I’m a lost little nun he has to protect. Someone who he needs to watch after. And sure, that’s been nice, but after a while, he’ll get bored with that. I see him more with someone like you.”
“Strong, brave, able to overlook all his vices and violence to see who he really is?”
I nod at her assessment of herself. “Exactly.”
“Agreed. He’d need someone who can take her hurt and turn it into something productive.
Teach him how to do the same. Someone who can sit in the silence with him long enough that he’s willing to talk.
Someone who knows enough about loss that she can give him the empathy he needs. Sound like anyone you know?”
I glance over at her, and her brow lifts again.
“I’m just saying…” She takes a sip from the flask.
“Actually, it’s not just me. Grant’s pretty convinced of it too.
Worried, I think, that you might dull Levi’s edges a little bit.
I think it’ll be good for him. All of the Stockton men could use a woman who knows how to hold the reins when they need it, you know? ”
“I think I have a big learning curve there, literally and figuratively.” I laugh.
“You just have to remember who you are.” She gives me a once-over and nudges me with her hip.
“From what I hear, you’re quite dangerous when you want to be.
I don’t think you grow up with a father like him, survive a man like Corey, and come out the other side powerless.
The opposite, really. You get to take what they wasted and make something new.
Let yourself hold that power. Wield it for what you want. ”
We stand in silence for a long minute then, staring out at the beauty of the forest, listening to the roar of the waterfall.
“I’m trying to help with this plan Levi has.”
“You’re not trying. You’re doing.” She asserts it for me. “When Grant went through something similar, I didn’t get a chance to help him. Levi has you front and center in this plan because he believes in you.”
“You weren’t helping with the plan when you told him to seduce me?” I risk a glance at her, and she bows her head, shaking it as she kicks a small rock into the water.
“To be fair, I didn’t know you then, and I was pretty fresh off a concussion.
I’d have to have been to think he could seduce anyone with that attitude.
Although the glasses help, right? Grant’s just started using readers at night before bed, and they’re like kryptonite.
It should be studied.” She goes down a rabbit hole but reels herself back in and looks at me.
“I won’t apologize for wanting to protect this family and my friends, but I am sorry it hurt you. I hate that it did.”
“It’s okay. I would have done the same in your position. I just want to clear the air. When I go back to the convent, I don’t want to spend weeks in confession.”
“You’re going back?” I can hear the disappointment in her tone.
“I think so. I have things in my past that I wish I’d done differently, and the convent makes me feel like I’m doing something about them instead of just moving on like it’s nothing. I just wish I didn’t have to give up Levi in the process.”
“There’s nothing else you could do? It’s convent or bust?”
“I…” The words fade. I've considered what I’d do if the convent didn’t want me anymore, but I haven't thought about what it would mean if I didn’t want the convent. If I don’t have to run from Corey or my father, there might be other ways of achieving the same goal.
“Because Levi aside, just woman to woman, I think you’re wasted there.
I know I’m biased. I’d probably catch on fire if I tried to put on one of those habits you all wear.
So maybe don’t listen to me. But I don’t think you could do even half the good you’re capable of locked away on that island, living by their rules.
I mean… Is it what you really want, or was it what you chose out of the options the men in your life made you feel like you were limited to?
” She hands the whisky flask back to me, and I stare at it as I think about her question.
“I’m not sure, I guess. I hadn’t thought about it like that.”
“Maybe you should.”
“Maybe,” I agree.
“All right, back to learning to hold the reins then?” She nods to the horses, who are patiently waiting for us to ride back.
“Sounds good.” We both start walking toward them, and stretching our legs one last time before we get back on the trail.
“And if you need any tips on the other set, let me know.” She grins as she gets back on her horse. I follow suit, and we take off back to the ranch house.